Where we left off- Since it's been such a long time since you all read the last chapter, I'll just jog your memories.… Well, last chapter, Tidus and Darius were trapped in Baaj Temple, and an exhaling fiend starting breathing down their necks. They thought they were getting raped….
The idiots.
Destiny of a Not-So Final Fantasy
Chapter Four: Attack of the Blondes!
"Throw me another potion!" Tidus shouted over his shoulder. "Quick!"
"NO, there's just one left!" Darius cried between blows.
The four-legged fiend swiftly ran across the room in circles, trying to intimidate its enemies (i.e. Darius and Tidus). It ran across the floor, it ran across the walls, it ran across the ceiling, and there was a certain point in time when Darius even thought it was running in mid-air. Which it was. A few seconds later, the fiend darted back across the floor, and tackled Tidus dead to the ground.
"Woah, you all right?" he called over his shoulder, not daring to look away from the nasty monster. "Tidus, are you there?"
No reply.
"TIDUS! WAKE UP! THIS IS NOT FUNNY!"
Silence.
"Ooooohhh shit." Maybe I should have thrown him the potion….
Darius shot towards the fiend, grasping his sword tightly in his hand, and thrust it into its flesh. Snatching it back, he watched as the fiend licked the wound and grinned maliciously. Which was a bit creepy.
Klikk suddenly ran toward Darius, willing to tackle him. Darius dodged the attack just in time, tripping the fiend as it moved past him. He was just about to begin kicking it silly while it was immobile, but the door in the back of the room suddenly swung open.
"CDUB!" (STOP!)
Darius froze.
There was an insane-looking blonde man pointing at them, a slim-looking blonde girl folding her arms, and an elderly-looking blonde woman sitting in a wheelchair.
Darius figured who they were in less than an instant. Brother! And Rikku! And… he took another look at the elderly woman. …My mother! No, wait…
"Fru yna DRACA mucanc?" shouted Rikku's brother, Brother. (Who are THESE losers?)
Rikku looked him up and down. "Oui cruimt HUD pa dymgehk…" she commented. (You should NOT be talking…)
"Ur, CRID ib!" Brother shouted at his younger sibling, spitting on himself. He then turned to Darius. "HUF, fru yna oui?" (Oh, SHUT up! NOW, who are you?)
"Huh?" Darius grunted.
"FRU. YNA. OUI."
"Um…"
While all of this was going on, Tidus was waking up from his little nappy. "Mmh…ahh…WHA?" Quieter, he asked Darius, "Who are these people?"
Darius shrugged and waved him off. He knew only a bit of the Al Bhed language, and was trying to figure out what Brother was saying by translating one letter at a time. He'd forgotten all about the fiend, Klikk, still lying on the floor. Let's see…the letter, 'O', in Al Bhed is …'Y' in English…. 'U' in Al Bhed is…'O' in English… 'I' is 'U'…carry the four…Oh, 'you' in Al Bhed!
"E CYET, FRU YNA OUI!" Brother repeated louder. "Yna oui y veaht?" (I SAID, WHO ARE YOU! Are you a fiend?)
What is he saying NOW? Darius found himself wondering.The elderly woman rolled her wheelchair over to Tidus. "Hu, drec uha muugc ryhtcusa..." she complemented. Then, as if she was the leader of the blondes, she rolled her wheelchair away. "LYBDINA RES." (No, this one looks handsome… CAPTURE HIM.)
Following orders, Rikku walked up to Tidus and whispered, "Cunno." She threw her fist into his gut, making him double over onto the floor, and dragged him out the door.
If this were Inuyasha, Darius would have anime-sweat-dropped. But sadly, it was Final Fantasy X, so the most he could do was…well…sweat.
"So…you're just going to leave me here?"
"Hmmmm…" Rikku shrugged. She walked over to Darius and dragged him out as well, making sure to knock him out first.
(Klikk had fallen asleep on the floor a little over five minutes ago….)
- - - -
"Hey, Darius, wake up!" Someone shook him ferociously. "Get UP!"
"Uggggg….nya……uh?"
WHACK!"OW…"Darius rubbed his head."Tidus?" he asked. "Ugh…what are you DOING?"
"Look."
"Look at what, you dope?"
"At them."
Darius focused his eyes, noticing a bunch of blondes—among them, a few new blondes he hadn't met before, Rikku, Brother, and The-Old-Woman-Sitting-In-Wheel-Chair-Who-Is-Probably-The-Leader-of-Al-Bheds (T.O.W.S.I.W.C.W.I.P.T.L.O.A.B. for short)—hovering over him and prodding him with forks and knives. Yes, FORKS AND KNIVES. You know, those DANDY little sharp things people use when they are in the mood for eating meat? Yes, THOSE.
"Um, hiya?" Darius greeted with a sheepish smile.
"KAD RES!" (GET HIM!)
"No, wait!" Darius shouted, shielding his face with his hands. "I'm not edible!"
"Ur…," they all responded in unison. (Oh…)
The blondes all put down their forks (but for safety reasons, kept the knives) and among themselves, began chatting about what to do with Tidus and Darius, now that they knew they weren't edible. Darius didn't even attempt to listen in and try to figure out what they were saying—he now knew how difficult it would be.
"Eh, Darius?" Tidus suddenly whispered, also ignoring the Al Bhed.
"Huh?"
"What is this place?"
Tidus looked around. They were lying on the deck of a ship, surrounded by nothing but sea and ocean. Darius knew it was the Al Bhed Salvage Ship…but…it would seem a bit odd telling that to him, now wouldn't it? What if Tidus asked how he knew what it was? Then what would he say? Oh, well, you are really a video game character, and I got sucked into the video game, so now I know pretty much everything that is going to happen, up until we fight Seymour!
NO.
So, Darius merely shrugged and mumbled, "Uh…I dunno…"
"……"
"What?"
"You suck at lying."
A few minutes later, the Al Bhed Blondies turned around. After talking it over, they knew what they would do with the two.
"Famm, ev fa lyhd AYD oui, oui femm fung," Brother concluded. (Well, if we can't eat you, you will work.)
Everyone but Rikku left (AND, of course, Darius and Tidus, since they had nowhere to go). After they were all gone, Rikku helped Darius and Tidus onto their feet.
"He said you two can stay if you make yourselves useful," she said, as if it explained everything in the world.
Tidus gawked. "Woah. You speak…my language?"
"Of course I do! You know, for non-Al Bheds, you two are…….quite…….unusual."
"Thanks!"
"Um…it wasn't a complement."
"Oh." Tidus looked confused. "Wait, so….if you understood us, why did you tell us earlier? Right, Darius?"
"Huh? Oh. Yeah. What he said."
Rikku smiled. "We thought oui were a fiend!"
"Uh….We?"
"Oh. 'Oui'….it means 'you,'" Rikku explained, using hand motions.
"So…who are you guys, anyways?"
The three introduced themselves.
Darius smiled. "So….Rikku?" he asked, pointing at Brother. "What kind of 'work' do we have to do, again?"
"We found some ancient ruins right beneath us. It's not active now, but there should be some power left. We're gonna go down there and activate it...and then we should be able to salvage the big prize! So, you ready?"
"No, not really, actually—"
Rikku pushed both of them in and, after a few good moments of pointing and laughing, hopped in herself.
- -Ten seconds later…- -
Tidus observed the area, looking left and right, while Rikku look the lead in the group and swam past. Darius and Tidus followed soon after.
Cold.
Cold.
Cold.
After about…oh, I dunno…HALF OF A SECOND, a swarm of daring Piranhas approached the trio and scratched them. (Yes, you heard me right. SCRATCHED them.) Rikku stole a grenade or two from them, as Tidus pulled out his sword and sawed them in half. While all of this was going on, Darius just laid back and admired the view….(although most people don't consider watching a fish get killed much of a "view", but hey, some people do! Odd ones, weird ones, unusual ones, but hey, what am I but a single-handed storyteller, right?). The fish weren't much of a problem…in fact, Rikku even caught a few of them to eat later that night for supper. What fun!
Cold.
Cold.
Cold.
As they swam, these thoughts continued popping out of Darius's mind. The farther the three went, the colder it got, and the more his body began to freeze. In fact, about halfway deep into the sea, his body froze and began to sink to the bottom.
Rikku had to turn around and thaw him, using the hot and stinky breath of a nearby Piranha.
A few moments and ten more Piranha encounters later, Rikku came to a large chamber and stopped swimming. Tidus and Darius caught up. In the middle of the room was a huge…machina… It was obviously the thing that they were supposed to be looking for all along. And if it wasn't…well…they would just have to lie to Brother when they got back.
Tidus swam up to it and and pressed the "ACTIVATE" button. After a few seconds, a click! noise occurred.
And that's when it happened.
That's when a huge, fat, eight-legged MONSTER came squaddling up from no where and smacked Rikku in the face.
Tros.
Darius remembered it from the beginning of the game. He should've known...
And so the battle began.
- - - -
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Darius thought bitterly, swimming up to it and slashing it with his sword.
The monster only blinked.
Wha…? He tried again.
This time, the monster whacked him out of the way and moved closer to Rikku. Tidus, knowing she was still recovering from the rude slap-in-the-face, reached into her pocket and chucked a grenade at its face.
The octo-legged monster screeched and turned away, clawing at its eyes. Tidus tossed another grenade its way, and the monster responded to this attack by moving to the other side of the room. By now, Rikku had recovered from her temporary injury. She growled (as much as possible in the water) and swam up to her with an evil "You-Will-Pay" look on her face, stealing a grenade that it happened to be carrying in one of its many, many legs. The Al Bhed then swam up to its eye (the fiend's eyeball was about twice her size. Quite sad, no?) and hurled the explosive directly at it.
…Which, perhaps, wasn't such a good idea, since the fiend's eyeball was flammable. Yes, FLAMMABLE. As in, the whole place went "BOOM!" Good going, blondie.
But, since this IS the story of an RPG, and since the main characters AREN'T allowed to die this early in the story, somehow Rikku, Tidus, and Darius managed to survive and swim happily back to the Al Bhed Salvage Ship.
- - - -"Hey, Darius!"
Tidus and Darius were back on board the ship, just now beginning to heal from the wounds that they'd acquired from the fight with the evil octopus, Tros.
"Yeah?"
"Here, we cooked some food for you," Rikku said, handing him a cooked Piranha.
"Oh…um…thanks…" Darius waited for her to turn her head, and then chucked it overboard.
"Hey, what about me?" Tidus suddenly whined. "Don't I get any food?"
"No."
"Oh. Okay."
"So, Tidus, where'd you come from, anyway?"
Darius slowly drifted away from the conversation, looking out into the sea of waters surrounding the ship. The sun was half over the horizon, casting shades of violet across the area. In some strange, twisted way, the sudden semi-darkness reminded him of when he used to live out on the streets back on Earth. It was strange, but before the age of seven, he never remembered having a parent or family. Is was almost as if…he wasn't…birthed by anyone.
"You must choose," said the woman, calmly, "between life or death. Truth or lies. Fate or misery. Love or hate." He still remembered when the strange woman had said that, a moment before he entered Spira. She seemed so familiar…. And it didn't make any sense.
Why did he even enter Spira, anyway?
Oddly, this was the first time he'd thought about it. It was the first time he'd even wondered why he'd been sent to this world. There had to be a reason—and it had to be a good reason. Not just because Yevon wanted him to follow Tidus around everywhere he went. No, there had to be a much better reason than that. Like, maybe Yevon needed him for something. Or something like that….
"You must choose between life or death. Truth or lies. Fate or misery. Love or hate."
Auron had said the same quote back in Zanarkand, which was strange. Unless he somehow had something to do with the woman who sent him to Spira. And that was unlikely. Very unlikely. But still possible. There must've been some kind of….link….between Yevon, the woman, and Auron. Yevon, the woman, and Auron. Yevon, the woman, and Auron….
And it had to be a very strong link.
But the thing was, Darius didn't really care. He didn't really care WHY he was in Spira, but her knew it was a better life than it was back on Earth. He just didn't care. What did it MATTER? What was it to HIM if there was some kind of dark reason why Yevon needed him in Spira? As far as he cared, Yevon could have him. He was already in Spira, wasn't he? So technically, Yevon already HAD what he wanted. Or at least this is how Darius thought of it. But was it really true? Darius didn't know. He didn't even know what he was thinking.
And although he didn't know it (or care about it), there wasn't just a "link." He wasn't even halfway there. He had a whole lot of pulling and poking and yanking to get through it all. It was enough to take him from "I DON'T CARE" to WOAH…and WOAH was about as far away from "I DON'T CARE" as it got. WOAH was about a million miles away. He had a hell of a lot of crap to figure out about why he had been sent to Spira, and somehow, he knew it would take a while. A LONG while...
"Yeah, there is no Zanarkand anymore," Rikku had concluded while Darius had drifted away. "Sin destroyed it a thousand years ago. So…no one plays blitzball there."
"Huh? What you do mean a thousand years ago?" Tidus asked. "But I saw Sin attack Zanarkand! You're saying that happened a thousand years ago? No way!"
"It's true, Tidus…."
Both Darius's thoughts and Tidus and Rikku's conversation had been cut short by a sudden scream.
"SIN! SIN!"
An extremely large whale came up from under the water, forcing the ship to shake violently. People on both sides of the ship grabbed on to a sturdy object, hoping the ship wouldn't tip over. Rikku looked up and saw that her side of the ship was going underneath the water, and quickly ran over to the opposite side.
"DARIUS! TIDUS!" she shouted. "OVER HEEERE!"
But it was too late. The water had already swallowed both of them, sucking them up into the mouth of Sin once more.
SHITT… Again! Darius hollered internally.
In a faraway distance stood a tall, scrawny servant, scrubbing dishes vigorously. Normally, he was forced to scrub the dishes with rocks, but since it was his birthday, his master had allowed him to use a toothbrush instead.
He had been a forced to be a servant for over twenty years, and he hated it. He wanted to leave. But the problem was that if he did, his family would be cursed for all of eternity. He didn't really have a choice, since he worked for the ultimate Spiran god.
"Someday," he promised himself, "I will get out of here. I will get revenge on him for threatening my family and forcing me to come here. I will obtain my rightful place as the ruler of the world! I will escape! He can't hold me here forever! I WILL ESCAPE! I WILL ESCAPE! I WILL ESCAAAAAPE! I WILL—"
"HAST THOU FINISHED BOILING MY AFTERNOON SNACK YET?"
"….Yes master….." The servant dragged himself over to his master, carrying huge amounts of food in his right hand. "Here you are, Sir Yevon," he grumbled.
"Good boy!" Yevon exclaimed, tossing the man a biscuit. "Now, thou shall start dinner."
"But, sir…."
"NOW!"
Stroking the cat sitting beside him, Yu Yevon watched his servant go back into the kitchen, and returned his attention to the crystal ball in his lap…..while munching on a chicken thigh. He watched closely as Darius (or "Dar," as he liked to call him) and some blonde man struggled to fight a large four-legged fiend in a small temple. Yevon smirked suspiciously.
He wasn't paying any attention to the blonde haired man or the fiend. What he was glaring at was "Dar."
It seems Nyl hast brought the boy here, he thought to himself. Good. I shalt thank her later for her good-doing. It begins now.
Yu Yevon looked down at his frowning cat. "Don't worry, Fluffy," he said, stroking her long, white coat, and munching on more chicken. "All is going as planned…."
-S