Title : Whispers of a Nightmare
Genre : Anime/Manga
Category : Full Metal Alchemist
Disclaimer : Nope, this one belongs to someone else as well.
Summary : Takes place after the incident with Nina. Something's wrong with Ed, and Al just can't quite figure out what it is. Serious situations and angst ensue.
Warnings : Angst, mild language, violence, and other issues that shall go unnamed for now. I don't want to give away too much of the plot just yet, now do I? ;)
Rating : T
Chapter 10 : Race of the Shadows
Night had slowly eased over the city, the stars shining faintly above between the patches of grey clouds that drifted over Central. Street lights and lamps from houses shown through the windows, creating an eerie glow that cascaded over the sidewalks, giving just enough light for a certain Lieutenant Colonel and his best friend of quite a few years to find their way into the bar that rested comfortably between their two separate destinations.
Their footfalls echoed effortlessly on the concrete below, making their way into the dimly lit establishment, thankful the usual crowd had already went home for the night. They took their usual seats at the bar, no words exchanged between them yet, not until they had that first drink. Sounds of a lonely piano drifted lazily through their ears, each one taking a sip from their nearly over-filled glasses.
"We need to talk, Roy," Hughes began, letting the gin and tonic slide down his throat with ease, after many years of the routine. He gave the man that was sitting at his left a sideways glance, the other appropriately noticing that it wasn't one that carried a smile or any trace of happiness. Instead, it held a heaviness to it that only indicated to the onyx eyed man that whatever he was about to say was probably not military related, or at least didn't concern any of the cases they were working on anyway.
"About?" Mustang asked, taking a rather large drink from the now almost empty glass that he held between his hands. His shoulders were hunched slightly, traces of oncoming circles under his eyes decorating his handsome features. Sleep hadn't been his friend for the past few weeks, his mind obviously trained on other things.
"I saw Edward today. He looks bad, Roy, really bad," he stated, his hazel eyes staring into the almost clear liquid in his glass. "I don't think he's ate or slept since he came back from Kiase. Something's really bothering him, and I figured you'd probably have a clue as to what that is," he continued, devoting his full attention the man seated next to him.
Roy raised his eyebrows slightly, taking another gulp before sliding the glass towards the bartender, silently asking for more. "I didn't notice," he spoke casually, that familiar smirk striking up the corners of his mouth as he turned towards Hughes. Seeing the expression on the other man's face made the trademark disappear into a faint frown, even the look in his eyes changing.
"I'm serious, Roy. And giving him that whole little you're safer here for the time being speech got to him too. That's like trying to cage a wild animal," he vocalized, feeling even worse for the twelve year old. "I think you went a little hard on him," he added, his voice softening.
"Ha, hard on him?" the words flew from Mustang's mouth, a hint of disbelief on his face. "Look, Maes, he needs some form of discipline, if not, he'd just be running around and getting himself into even more trouble than he has already. Someone's got to make sure he doesn't get himself killed; or transmuted, for that matter," he added, taking another drink from the glass, a slight buzz rising in the back of his mind.
Hughes gave a noticeable smile at the last bit, but it disappeared once again, more thoughts coming to mind. "Though all that may be true, you have to remember that he's still just a child. And yes, I know," he said, raising a hand at the impending statement about how he signed it all away when he joined the military that was about to spew from Roy's lips. "I know that he's a dog of the military, just like you and me. But he's only twelve, Roy. Twelve. A kid that age should have never gotten himself into a position like this," he stated, sadness hiding in his tone, his eyes focused on the almost empty glass on the bar.
"But he did, and now he's trying to find a way to get out of it, but as you and I both know, it's not that easy. It was his decision from the beginning to become a State Alchemist, not mine. He's only getting what he signed up for," the Flame Alchemist affirmed, one hand steady on the glass, the other resting underneath his chin.
"You've changed, Roy," Hughes acknowledged, taking down the last bit of the drink. "The Roy I used to know cared about his subordinates, especially the ones he tracked down in the middle of a lightning storm to recruit," he said, a grin sliding onto his features.
The Lieutenant Colonel looked nothing less than amused, his eyebrows narrowing slightly. "I won't deny the kid has a higher intelligence level than half of the personnel here, but he's reckless. And if he didn't have that little brother of his around, he probably would be dead by now. But it's just too soon to send him out again, and don't tell me it's the wrong decision. After all, I do outrank you," he stated, the smug look fitting back into place.
"True, but I outsmart you," he shot back, the grin growing wider. "And I'm not saying I completely disagree with you here," he continued, the smile lessening a bit. "I'm just saying maybe you shouldn't have went off on him like you did. In case you couldn't tell, he is a little on the sensitive side, being twelve and all," he added, annoying the man at his side even further by reminding him once more of the older Elric brother's age.
"Believe it or not, Maes, I don't have short term memory loss, despite various rumors," he returned, finishing the drink and standing to his feet, hiding the minute handicap of double vision.
"I beg to differ," Hughes replied, standing up as well, leaving a few coins on the counter. "Now don't forget, tomorrow's Gracia's party, and I expect you to be there. Oh, and bring a date. You never know when you might find yourself a good wife," he added, letting out a laugh at the look of utter madness plastered across the Lieutenant Colonel's face. "Night," he waved as they exited the bar, both heading in opposite directions.
&&&&&
Faint rays of sunlight filtered through the window, gently planting themselves directly on Edward's face. It was almost warm, despite the chilly air that came with it. He opened his eyes, taking note of how strangely comfortable the bed had become. Even the rough sheets and worn out pillowslips he'd managed to acquire. He pulled them closer to his shivering body, the thought of sleeping further drifting through his mind.
He was just about to do so when a familiar scent teased his nostrils, something he hadn't smelled in years. He raised his head up, his golden hair more than out of place and falling politely into his face, though the length of it was different. His heart beat faster at this for some reason, wondering where the rest of it was at. The sudden thought of a cruel joke played out in the back of his mind.
"Al! Just because you don't have any hair doesn't mean you're allowed to cut mine off!" he exclaimed, his voice higher than he remembered it. Must be mad at me for coming back so late…But that still doesn't give him the right to do this! he thought angrily, getting out of the bed. "Al, it's not funny!" he shouted once more, becoming slightly annoyed at how much his voice was squeaking.
"What are you talking about, Brother?" Al asked, walking into the room, a confused look on his cherubic face. "I didn't touch your hair," he replied, walking towards him, standing just a little taller than the older boy.
Edward stood frozen, staring at the person that was supposed to be his little brother standing in front of him. His mouth hung open, an expression of utter disbelief and bemusement marking his youthful features. He tried to speak, to say something, but before he could, his body decided to do the talking and he threw his arms around the younger boy, confusion growing stronger on Al's face.
"Al! You're here! You're back! You're you!" he shouted, squeezing the boy tighter until he could hardly breath. "I cant believe it!" he yelled, tears streaming down his face at a steady rate. His words were coming so fast, the ability to breathe almost leaving him.
"Um, that's nice, Brother, but I didn't go anywhere," Al stated, gently pushing his near hysteric brother away. "Are you okay?" he asked, giving him a closer look. "Did you have a bad dream or something?" he added, feeling Ed's forehead.
The look on Edward's face transformed from overjoyed to utterly horrified. He took a better look at the room he was standing in, realizing that this was no military dorm, but in fact their old room from their old house that had been burnt to the ground not too long ago. His face fell even more.
"Brother, what's wrong? Was it that bad? Maybe I should go get Mom. I'll be right back," he said, giving Edward a worried smile.
"No, wait, Al!" the blonde called out, reaching for his brother. He stopped, not hearing the usual metallic noise of metal moving. His gaze slowly wandered from his little brother to his right arm, which was fully intact. His heart leapt, his brain threatening to lock up at any moment. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Was this a dream? Or had the past few years been one gigantic nightmare? Had he imagined everything? Was it all just a figment of a child's overactive imagination?
He hurriedly raised up his pants leg to see that his left leg was definitely there, flesh covered and bruised as it always had been at that time. He blinked a few times, trying to recover from the shock when he heard footsteps once more, two pairs to be exact. His eyes widened as his mother entered the room, a concerned look gracing her delicate features.
"Edward, are you okay?" she asked, kneeling down to his eye level, worry laced throughout her eyes.
All he could do was stare at her, paralyzed once more. Everything hit him at once; her scent, the smell of her hair, her kind face, her gentle voice. It was too much for him causing him to burst into tears, a loud sob escaping his throat.
"Oh, honey," she whispered in his ear, reaching out for him, and pulling him close. There it was, the scent of roses in full bloom with a slight hint of perfume, the aroma of honey flowing gently from her hair. He felt her embrace, and recalled how good it felt to be held by her, especially when he was hurt or scared. But those days had long ago past. This was a memory from another time, and another way of life.
He backed away quickly, his golden eyes traveling back and forth between his so-called mother and brother. It was exactly how he remembered them, and it reminded him of much Al favored her. But it wasn't real. That's what he kept trying to tell himself, even when he glanced over at the calendar with a date of March 1907.
But somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew it was fake. It was too good to be true. More tears trickled down his crestfallen cheeks, his eyes growing more watery. His small hands clenched into tiny fists at his side, anger burning in his chest.
"This isn't real. This isn't real," he kept muttering over and over again, but stopped when whimpering befell his ears. He looked up, golden bangs flying about to see both his mother and brother crying, tears falling down their cheeks as well. Only their tears were not the clear as crystal kind that could be easily wiped away. No, these tears were tears of blood, and they were much thicker and harder to clean up.
"This isn't real. This isn't real," he continued the chant, terror filling his childlike voice. "This isn't real. This isn't real," he repeated, trying not to look at the two figures that had somehow managed to move closer to him. That's when their voices filled his ears and frightened him all the more.
"Why, Edward? Why?" his mother cried out, her now blood-covered hands reaching out for him, forcing the boy to back away. "Why didn't you save me, Edward? This grave is so cold," she whispered, blood leaking faster from her eyes. "It's freezing," the words ran through his jaded head, her hand brushing against his cheek, smearing the crimson colored substance across it. "Why didn't you save me? I bet your father could have…Such a good man," her voice quivered in his ears, angering and terrifying him all the more. "If only you could have been more like your father, then maybe I'd still be here…"
"Stop it! Stop it! This isn't real! You're not real! Just leave me alone!" he screamed, backing all the way into the corner, his hands flying to his ears for cover, though their voices still broke through the tiny barrier.
"And what about me, Brother?" Alphonse's innocent tone sliced through his hearing. "Why did you do this to me, Ed? I could have been happy! We both could have been… But you didn't listen to me. Why didn't you listen to me? You know I had a bad feeling about it, but you told me it would be alright! But it wasn't alright, was it Brother? Was it?" Alphonse screamed, his voice resonating off the walls.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Ed whispered, shaking his head frantically and trying to squeeze further into the limited space the corner provided for him. "Please, just stop…Please," his voice came out in a whisper, his trembling hands still glued to his head. "I'm so sorry…I'm sorry," he continued, tears riveting down his flushed cheeks.
"You cold have saved us, but you failed!" his mother's shrill voice poured through his head. "You failed us! What kind of a son are you? Nothing but a failure! You're nothing like your father! He was so smart and talented, the complete opposite of you!" she yelled, smacking him across the face, blood leaving a jagged trail down his cheeks.
"And Dad wouldn't have let me turn into this," Alphonse whispered, transforming into the metal suit of armor right before Edward's eyes. Only his soul-filled eyes weren't filled with the usual warmth and love they always held. Those emotions were replaced with an icy coldness that sent chills resonating down the young blonde's spine, making him shake even more. "I would still be normal. I'd still be able to breathe and eat and feel things, but I can't anymore, Brother and it's all your fault!" he exclaimed, a gauntlet striking Edward right in the stomach.
"Please…Please forgive me…please…" he murmured, curling up into a tight ball, his brother's fists and his mother's slaps pounding against his small body. "Please…"
"Brother!"
"I'm sorry, Al, I'm so sorry," his voice was hoarse now, his throat almost too sore to speak.
"Brother!"
"Please, forgive me…please…" it trembled, quivering uncontrollably.
"Okay, I forgive you for not coming back until midnight. Now will you wake up?" Al's voice broke through his pleas.
Edward opened his eyes slowly, carefully, and looked around, his brother's metallic suit being the first thing that befell his sight. His eyes darted around the room from the bare walls to the lone window and the faded curtains that surrounded it. He was back in the dorm room, auto mail and all as he glanced down at his still trembling arm. Slowly, he pushed himself up into a sitting position, his hair plastered to his head due to the amount of sweat it was submerged in. His heart was still beating quite loudly, but he pushed the sound away, concentrating on his surroundings.
"Brother, you had another bad dream, didn't you?" Alphonse's tone was as innocent as ever, but the youthfulness that it had held for so long was starting to fade, becoming more adult-like with each passing day.
"I'm fine, Al, just fine," he mumbled, pushing himself to his feet, the chill of the floor hitting his flesh one. "Hey, what time is it?" he asked, running a hand through his saturated hair, an air of dizziness flowing through his skull.
"It's ten thirty, Brother," Alphonse replied, staring at his smaller, older brother. He couldn't quite place it, but Edward looked different somehow. But what was it?
"What?" the blonde exclaimed, his eyes widening at the response. "Ten thirty? Dammit!" he shouted, hurriedly reaching for his clothes. He's gonna kill me! Dammit! He stumbled a bit as he slipped on his pants, his hands shaking as he latched the belt buckle, not even realizing that even the last notch was now too big for him. He slipped on his over shirt, not even bothering to zip it up.
"Why are you in such a rush, Brother? You usually sleep in almost every day," Al noted, curiosity filling him.
"I was supposed to report to Mustang this morning at ten o'clock for a new case," he explained nearly out of breath as he tried redoing his braid but to no avail.
"You want me to do it?" Al asked, reaching out for the comb that had managed to fall to the hardwood floor.
"No, it'll be fine," he said, giving up and letting it hang in a loose ponytail. "Hopefully, I'll be back soon," the twelve year old stated, running for the door.
"Um, Ed, forgetting something?" Al urged, holding up the boy's heavy black boots, not being able to hide the amusement from his voice.
"Oh, yeah, thanks, Al," Edward smiled faintly, quickly pulling on the boots and running out the door. "Be back soon!" he called out before fading out of sight, leaving Alphonse to drown in the worry that had suddenly captured his soul. There was something definitely wrong with his brother, and he was going to find out what the hell it was, before it was too late.
&&&&&
He ignored the shouts of "Hey kid, watch it!" and "Little brat!", and of course the paperwork that was flying about every where. His boots were pounding on the floors of HQ, making his way as fast as he possibly could towards Mustang's office.
Now, he wasn't hurrying because he wanted to see the Lieutenant Colonel, far from it actually. He was still overtly pissed of the lecture he'd been forced to hear the day before; but the last thing he wanted was to look like a spoiled little brat that could get away with whatever he wanted whenever he wanted, even if that were the case sometimes. He knew he had to look like he at least contained some amount of responsibility, even if being on time and receiving the new case were the farthest things from his mind at the current moment.
Why does he have to have an office at the top? the thought surged through his mind, his breath leaving his lungs faster than he could catch it. He rounded the last flight of stairs, his hair even more plastered to his head than it was before, drops of sweat leaking out the end of his ponytail.
He burst into the front office, grabbing the attention of First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye upon entry.
"Edward?" he could hear her voice filter through his ears as he went straight into Mustang's office without so much as a knock or a salute.
Mustang looked up at him through the mound of paperwork that littered his desk, an unimpressed look set upon his features. He waited a moment before speaking, the urge to magnify the boy's stress level coming over him. "Oh, sorry, Full Metal, didn't see you over all those files there. The top one's yours," he stated simply, ignoring the twelve year old's reddening face and impending outburst.
Edward opened his mouth to scream a retort, but cut himself short, his hands still shaking violently at his side. His brow was narrowed, a scowl sliding across his face.
"Well, what are you waiting for? It to come to you?" the smug look captured the older man's face, his onyx eyes gleaming, only angering the twelve year old more for he knew every bit of it was intentional.
Edward grabbed the file, accidentally knocking over a few of the rest of the files due to the trembling of his hands. They scattered to the floor quite quickly, making more of a mess than he would have liked to clean up. So he didn't. He simply turned and made his way to the door, exiting without another word.
He had just stepped foot into the outer office when Hawkeye blocked his way, a concerned but firm look set on her face.
"Edward," she stated resolutely, meeting his gaze, automatically noticing how thin the boy had become. She made a mental note to say something to the Lieutenant Colonel after the boy left, not wanting to attract attention to the matter at the moment. "Since the Lieutenant Colonel forgot to mention it, you are to report here tomorrow morning at the same time with a first draft of your conclusions on this case and any findings you come up with between now and then. You are dismissed," she nodded, watching him carefully as he left without a word and went out the door.
She hesitated for a moment, but went ahead with it and opened Mustang's door, raising an eyebrow at the papers still strewn about the floor. "Sir?" she questioned upon seeing him still signing the stack that was in front of him, completely ignoring the mess at his feet.
"Sir?" she repeated, immediately taking care of the clutter. "I think you should have a talk with Edward. He doesn't appear to be in the best of health, which I'm sure you noticed," she added, standing to hear feet and rearranging the disarray of papers, placing them back on the untidy desk.
"You're the second person to mention that to me within a period of twenty-four hours," he stated with blatant sarcasm, his jet-black eyes still focused on the words in front of him. "But the problem is, there isn't any thing I can do about it," he said, looking up at the blonde haired woman standing in front of him.
She stared at him with an unsure look, knowing that no matter how hard she tried, she would never be able to figure out the man that she had sworn to protect until she laid down her uniform, or her gun for that matter.
"But sir-"
"This is something you'll just have to trust me on," he interjected, reluctantly going back to the work at hand. "His problems are something he's going to have to work out on his own."
"Understood, sir," she responded in a quiet voice. She gave him one last glance before exiting the room, thoughts of the two still parading through her mind.
&&&&&
The blonde slowly trudged towards the library, thankful that it was down the flights of stairs instead of up. That ascent nearly killed him back there. His shoulders were slumped in defeat, the case file hanging loosely tucked underneath his left arm, knowing that he'd probably never even open the thing up. He had more urgent matters at mind. The hardest part of it though would be convincing Al to go along with it.
His golden orbs were clearly unfocused, he not even truly paying attention to the direction he was traveling in. He'd been to that library so many times in the past few months he could probably walk to it in his sleep.
His thick bangs hung limply in his face, still laced with the sweat that had drowned it earlier. He didn't even see the Lieutenant standing in front of him, politely bumping into the man only to be the one that fell straight to the floor, pictures and papers flying about.
"You okay, Ed?" Hughes asked casually, helping the boy back to his unsteady feet, taking note of how easy it was to pull him up off the floor.
"Just peachy," he mumbled through grit teeth, bending down to pick up the caseload. He had a reason why he hadn't wanted to look at it, that reason being so he wouldn't grow attached to the victims of whatever crime had been committed, especially if he was planning on running anyway. It just wouldn't be right. But now the damned thing was in plain view, a perfectly grotesque picture brightening his vision. "Damn Mustang," he muttered, his brow narrowing further. "Dammit!" he let out a little too loudly, catching a few stares from passing personnel.
"Problem?" Maes questioned, raising an eyebrow to the boy's sudden outburst, a hand scratching the back of his head.
The rampage threatened to escape his mouth, but he held it within, not wanting to force his anger and discontent onto the innocent man standing in front of him. "No," he answered dejectedly, scooting all the papers back into the haven of the yellow folder, anger still present in his golden orbs. He stood back up, albeit too quickly, dizziness following suit instantaneously. He swayed to one side, almost dropping the folder again, and would have surely fallen over had Hughes not reached out and grabbed him.
"You know, Ed, why don't we have a talk over lunch? My treat," he smiled, afraid to let go of the still dizzied boy hanging on for dear life in front of him.
The twelve year old knew it would be futile to say no, therefore, he gave a slow nod and a murmur of, "Yeah, sure." He blinked a few times, his vision faltering slightly. Where there was supposed to be only one of something, there were two and in some cases three of certain things, making him thankful that the Lieutenant was keeping close to him, just in case his legs decided to ignore his brain's commands.
"I see you've got your new case. Anything worth entertaining me with?" the older man inquired, studying the blonde's reaction.
"I haven't exactly taken a good look at it yet," Edward replied, the hollowness of his face seemingly even more apparent than it was the day before. The thought of it just being the lighting cascaded through Hughes' mind, but he knew better than to believe that.
"Take a seat, I'll get us something to eat," he smiled as they entered the mess hall. "I've got connections so I'll make sure it's better than that," he added, casually jerking his thumb in the direction of a few soldiers eating nearby.
Edward gave a nod, taking a seat in the back of the room. He had no intentions of being in that place, and the thought of food was beginning to sicken him, especially since he had been so lucky to see the image that had slipped out of the folder. Just the thought made his stomach clench. He sighed, letting out a long withheld breath as he ran his hand wearily through his golden hair. He needed a shower badly, particularly if he was supposed to attend Gracia's birthday party later.
He jumped as two platefuls of food were placed in front of him, bile threatening the back of his throat. "Eh, looks great," he tried unsuccessfully to appear enthusiastic at the meal placed in front of him. He reluctantly picked up a fork, stabbing it into a piece of gravy covered meat on the plate. He glanced up at Hughes, the man already eating. Ed gave a silent gulp, unable to shove the much needed fuel into his mouth.
"So, the party's going to be great tonight," Maes began with a mouthful of food, his hazel eyes shining. "There'll be cake and ice cream, and Elysia's going to be there too. In fact, I even picked up a few things for her as well! She'll be exited to see you Ed, you know. So will Gracia," he added, flashing the twelve year old a grin of pure contentment and happiness. But behind that easy going smile and presence, worry confiscated the man's soul as he watched the boy look on, a half-hearted interest on his visage.
"Sounds wonderful. I can't wait," Edward gave a weak smile, one that didn't even reach his eyes which were still as weary as ever. He continued to pick at the food, the fork not quite making it up to his mouth.
"Don't worry, I'm sure it won't bite," Hughes joked, though the laugh seemed to fall on deaf ears. His expression turned more serious, the concern shadowing in his eyes. "Ed, I can't say I know exactly what you're going through because I don't, but I do know something's wrong when I see it. Why haven't you been eating?" he queried, pushing his own plate away.
Ed could feel his heart start to race, not expecting a confrontation about his eating habits. So what if he wasn't hungry? What was wrong with that? Plenty, something in his brain told him, but he just couldn't listen. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said instead, a confused look falling upon his face.
"We've been sitting here for twenty minutes already and you haven't even taken a bite. Ed, if there's something you need to discuss, I'm right here. You don't have to make this a one-man battle. Does Alphonse know?" the question made its way out of his mouth, his hazel eyes trained on the nervous twelve year old seated before him.
"I said I don't know what you're talking about!" Edward exclaimed, shoving the plate off the table, it falling gracefully to the floor. The breaking of the cheap porcelain silenced the entire room, everyone turning in their direction. The blonde gave Hughes one last look before taking off out of the double doors, leaving the Lieutenant in his wake. It was going to be a long night, that was for sure.
Author's note : This chapter just didn't want to end on me! I thought for sure I'd be able to include the party scene in it, but before I knew it, I'd already written eleven pages so I figured it would get covered in the next one. I knew this was going to be a long story! ;)
I just want to THANK everyone who reviewed. I can't believe this story has gotten over 100 reviews and I just want to express my gratitude. So THANK YOU Aemilia Rose, ArkofPathos, Legendary Chimera, Roy-Fan-33, marufu-chan, angsty, Kuropuu, hyperdude, cuylerjade, vampirelf, JChrys, agent000, Lyemi, TreeStar, and all those who have reviewed for previous chapters or put me on an alert.
And since all of you have been so kind to me, I'm in the process of writing a one-shot (a LONG one) called Cries From the Wastelands so look forward to that within the coming days. See ya next time!
Haunted Obsidian