I think Molly Burly Fools truly IS my biggest fan! (glomps her) Oh, and there are a lot of references to previous chapters, in this chapter.
(Note: originally, there was a huuuge one-paged author's note here...but it's been deleted! Hoorah!
Destiny of a Not-So Final Fantasy—Chapter Nine
"Well, here we are," Lulu sighed. "The Mi'ihen Highroad." Auron nodded.
"THIS is the Mi'ihen HIGHROAD?" Darius asked, gaping at the land in front of him, which was nothing but a massive hole filled with dead, rotting corpses, and slugs crawling up and down the sides of it.
"Eewwww," Brynna commented.
"FINALLY! DINNER!" Wakka whipped out a container of salt, dumped all the salt on the slugs, and began to dive in the hole, but Lulu grabbed him by the feet in midair.
"No, idiot, that's not Mi'ihen Highroad!" she exclaimed wearily, pointing to the right. "THAT is."
Darius looked to the right and frowned. The Mi'ihen Highroad was just as he had feared: just a long-ass terrain of grass, pathways, and chocobos, which eyed him warily as he passed. Of course, whenever a chocobo eyed him he made sure to eye it right back and start a staring contest, all of which ended with Lulu grumpily casting Thundara on them both.
After being healed (how many times has this happened now?) once again by Yuna, Darius sighed. "Well, let's get this over with, I suppose."
Kimahri grunted. "Kimahri think Darius need to be patient."
"Darius think Kimahri need to learn proper English," Dar returned unpleasantly.
"Brynna think Darius AND Kimahri need to shut their traps before I kick their asses!" Brynna declared.
"LULU THINK ALL OF YOU NEED TO SHUT THE HECK UP."
And, terribly afraid of what the sorcerer might do, everyone abruptly followed orders. Unfortunately however, Darius noticed a shriveled-up and wrinkly man with a long beard dragging on the floor, walk up to him and the group. MAECHEN! he thought, gaping at the only man in the world to be almost as old as Mika.
"Do you know where the Zanarkand ruins are from?" Maechen asked, starting a conversation out of nowhere and not bothering to introduce himself to anyone.
Tidus's eyes widened dramatically. "ZANARKAND RUINS?" But then he remembered what Rikku had told him back at the Al Bhed Site—that apparently, Zanarkand was destroyed. One thousand years ago. "Oh…"
"Aren't the Zanarkand Ruins from Zanarkand?" Darius said.
"No, no, the Zanarkand Ruins are from the Thunder Plains," Wakka joked. "And—who are you, sir, anyway?"
"Maechen, right?" Brynna put in. "…or is this just Mika, reincarnated?"
"Yes, I am Maechen, a scholar." Maechen turned to Yuna, who bowed. "At your service, m'lady. I am on a journey, studying the history of our world, Spira, seeking its stories and secrets... My travels have taken me to many places, and I am troubled by what I've seen: fragile smiles on people's faces crumbling at the mere mention of Sin. They are counting on you, m'lady. Give them a reason to rejoice once more. In doing this, Spira shall be saved and nothing shall happen to anyone ever again. I have lived through many events and know things that most would not understand, m'lady. I foresee dark, evil times ahead of you all—and only one of you can stop them…and that one would be—"
BOOM!
Evidently the man had detonated from talking too much in one paragraph.
"That's…unfortunate," Yuna murmured, performing the Yevonite bow for him.
Auron shook his head. "No, he'll be back."
"H-how do you know?"
"Maechen isn't…what he seems to be," he replied shortly, not realizing that still, no one knew any more on the subject than they had known five minutes ago. Still, this reminded Darius of something…something important that he had to ask Auron…something Lulu had said earlier… He looked up in the sky and saw Nyllia the Moon looking down on him, frowning. He abruptly remembered that the strange moon could talk.
Thou idiot, it said suddenly, causing him to jump in the air. If thou want to know more about me, Nyl, thou should just ask-eth.
"Um…Dar?" Tidus asked. "What are you looking at?"
"Huh? Oh—erm—nothing!"
He realized that apparently not everyone could see Nyllia the Moon. Therefore, it would look strange to them if he were caught talking to her. For this reason and some more, Darius decided he would hold off on questioning Nyl until later. But he could still ask Auron!
The group was now walking down the Highroad at a somewhat leisurely pace, and Kimahri had taken up the job of killing off all of the fiends before they attacked anyone.
"Erm…Auron?" Darius said. Auron raised his eyebrows. "How did you know my birth name was Raishad? I don't think I ever told that to anyone…" He thought it was best to start off with that question.
"You're…real name is Raishad?" Brynna asked skeptically, observing Kimahri's fighting style up ahead. "I think I used to know a Raishad."
"YOU DID?"
"Yeah… He—"
Auron grunted. "…I…won't tell you too much. But—you're birth name is not Raishad or Darius. Raishad is merely one of your three first names, given to you by…your mother. Of course, you gave yourself the name Darius, because it is merely a nickname. But your other name…your real, birth name—"
"What does that have to do with my question?"
Auron frowned. "Well, if you don't want to know what I have to tell you…"
"No, no, continue!"
"Good. Well…I have known about you for a while. And no, I haven't been stalking anyone!" he quickly added, for it looked like Darius was about to interrupt. "Yunalesca told me a bit about you, long ago, and since then I have known you by all three of your names: Darius, Raishad, and—"
And 'Xodan,' the Moon, Nyllia, added.
"D-did you hear that?" Darius questioned, now feeling more insane than usual (and THAT was SAYING something.)
"Hear what?"
"Um…her!" He pointed upwards, at the blue-streaked moon named Nyllia, and he suddenly sensed that everyone in the group was looking at him like he was a crazed maniac. But hey, since when wasn't he a crazed maniac?
"No…" they all slowly replied in unison, taking one large step away from him.
"But—HEY! Don't step away from me!" He took a large step toward them. They took another large step away. He took another large step toward. They took another large step away. He took another—
STOP! THOU ART PISSING ME OFF! Nyllia screeched.
"Alright, alright," Darius said, deciding it was best to stop and try to clear everything up. "Tell me—when did Yunalesca tell you about me? And…how did she know? And why would it matter, anyway?"
There was definitely something fishy going on here. Darius remembered that when he first met Brynna, she had hesitated to tell them her name. Why would that be? Did she have something to hide? He also remembered that she, Brynna, had found a strange piece of parchment with the different phases of the moon on it, before Lulu hastily snatched it away and hid it. That implied that Lulu ALSO had something to hide.
He also remembered the conversation he had overheard Wakka and Lulu talking about, back at Besaid…
"You shouldn't have brought him here in the first place!" Lulu had said to Wakka. She was obviously referring to the fact that Wakka had brought Darius with him to Besaid Village. "And what about the other one? Haven't Sir Auron's talks had any affect on you? Don't you remember what he said about the girl?"
WHAT girl? Darius wondered. And…what does she mean when she says, 'Sir Suron's talks'?
But then it dawned on him. He, Darius, had encountered Nyllia back at Besaid, too! And, a few seconds later, Nyllia had caused him to start levitating in the air, and had caused his hair to turn…golden? And then, after all that, she had caused him to drop on the ground and faint!
And after that, both Wakka AND Tidus had claimed that there was some little girl that had helped them save Darius's life. But…what little girl? Could it be—?
His gaze fell on Brynna.
Oh, something is going on here, he thought. He meant to find out just what it was.
"Oh, your birth name matters, alright," Auron muttered. "I cannot tell you how Yunalesca knew about you…or when she told me about you; for some reason, I—don't remember the details."
"Awww! Auron, you're so HOT when you're mysterious!" Brynna cried.
"Not particularly," Tidus commented.
"…Sir Auron?" Yuna intervened, curious. "Could you please tell us a bit more about this? I feel like there is just so much we don't know…"
"I'm sorry. I have said all I have to say."
No! Dar cried internally, about to try to force Auron to tell him more. He pulled out Dyrnsyn, his long, silver sword, but Lulu said, "That isn't very wise."
"Why not?"
"I'm afraid I would kick your ass," Auron stated.
Horribly, Nyl added.
"WILL YOU SHUT UP?" Darius shouted at her, annoyed at her intrusions. (You would be, too, if a moon the size of Mercury was continually interfering in your daily affairs.)
Fine—for now, she replied calmly, and the moon abruptly vanished.
"...who are you TALKING to!" said Tidus. He wondered if Darius was hearing voices. Which, of course, he was.
"You alright, brudda?" Wakka said.
"Oh…um…yeah. I'm fine! Don't worry about me." But out of the corner of his eye, Dar could've sworn he'd seen Brynna looking into the sky, at Nyllia. This was strange, for he had thought he was the only one who could constantly perceive the strange moon. Apparently not…
Kimahri, who was up ahead, pointed his spear to the right. "Yuna!" he bellowed. "Fiends!"
Lulu gasped. "They look much more powerful than any of the others we've encountered before!" She brandished a moogle.
"KILL THEMMMMMMM!" Brynna roared, snatching out her daggers.
"Everyone! Protective position! Now!" Auron called out, going into a defensive stance.
But as the "fiends" grew near, everyone realized that they were merely…a bunch of chocobo-riding idiots. Not fiends. Yuna and the rest of her guardians exhaled in relief, but Darius shrugged. "I still say we kill them."
"No, no! We come in peace!" a woman cried, shielding her face with her hands. "We are the Djose Chocobo Knights, charged to guard the Highroad! Lady Summoner and her guardians, I presume?"
Yuna nodded. "Yes, I am Yuna."
The woman smiled and nodded kindly. "And I am Lucil, the captain of these bitches." She gestured to the other two Chocobo Knights behind her, who scowled.
"But we're not bitches!" the female one argued. "Oh, and I'm Elma," she decided to add to Yuna.
"Yeah! We're BASTARDS! Bitches are female; bastards are male," the male one said.
"BUT I AM FEMALE, CLASKO!" Elma screamed, apparently not in a good mood. "And you're just a Junior Chocobo Knight! You do not have the authority to say such things!"
"You're right… I'm such a loser…I have no life…" Clasko sighed.
"Exactly," Lucil agreed. She turned back to Yuna and her guardians. "Anyway, we've come to warn you all about a large fiend strolling around the area, with a taste for chocobos…and blonde people. Do take care, Summoner Yuna, if you are to rent any chocobos…or blonde people."
"Thank you. We will all be careful."
Lucil turned as if to leave, then hesitated. "Oh yeah, and this random woman wanted to have a word with you." She gestured, and suddenly a woman clothed in plenty of different shades of green, with her hair held up in two two buns on the side of her head, walked forward. "We hope to encounter you again sometime soon!" Lucil said, and she and her followers trotted off on their chocobos.
"Hello," Yuna greeted, waving at the woman who had appeared, and she performed yet another Yevonite bow. The woman did the same.
"I am Belgemine, a summoner like you. Tell me, how are your Aeons coming along?"
"Hm? What do you mean? My Aeons are doing fine, I suppose, but—"
"Let me test them."
"Let you—?"
"Let me test them," Belgemine repeated patiently.
Yuna looked at all of her guardians, who smiled and urged her to confront this challenge. "If I cannot defeat your Aeons, I shall reward your nicely. However, if I do, I shall not. Are you ready?"
"Well, no, not particularly—"
"Great! And the challenge begins."
- - -
"GO YUUNNNAAAAAAAAAAA!" Darius cheered, pumping his fist in the air. The other guardians were all on the side of the road, jumping up and down and cheering her on as well. Darius was sure Yuna would win, for she was much less unsexy than Belgemine, whose nose was off-center. Not that there was anything WRONG with that, really.
Belgemine immediately summoned her own version of Ifrit, who roared and immediately took a piss. Yuna apparently did not think it was wise to ALSO summon Ifrit, so, instead, she summoned Valefor, who also immediately took a piss.
When the creatures were all good and ready, and had cleaned up their messes appropriately (interestingly, all of the yellow liquid had ended up on Lulu's dress…), the battle actually started.
"Valefor! Energy Ray!" Yuna called out.
Valefor opened its mouth, and a large ball of energy materialized inside of it. Suddenly a beam of energy protruded from it and made contact with the ground beneath Ifrit. The ground exploded. A cloud of smoke emerged and shrouded Ifrit from sight.
"I'll bet you three gil Yuna wins," Darius whispered to Tidus, who smirked.
"Then I'll bet you three gil Belgemine wins."
They shook hands, and Darius smirked, already considering himself three gil richer…although he technically still wouldn't have enough gil to even rent a dead, pale, cold green-colored chocobo.
The cloud of smoke cleared up, and Ifrit emerged, unhurt. Ifrit tilted its head to the side and blinked. Then it shrugged and strolled over to Valefor, jumped in the air, and—flicked it.
Valefor keeled over and died.
"KNOCK OUT!" the narrator boomed, and the huge, bold initials, "K.O.," appeared in the middle of the screen.
Auron, pissed off at them, leaped into the air and sliced the initials into bits. Darius picked up the initial's pieces and flung them at the narrator, who fled.
"Gee! You really do suck at this!" Belgemine giggled, and flew off into the distance.
"…you owe me three gil," Tidus murmured.
"Well, at least we can continue through this place now," Yuna sighed. "Come, everyone, let us finish traveling through the Mi'ihen Highroad." Darius and the others all strolled ahead leisurely, and interestingly, they didn't encounter ONE fiend. Obviously the Chocobo Eater had scared all of them away, quite sexily indeed.
But after walking, say, for one minute or so, Darius noticed a chocobo on the side of the road doing nothing, saying nothing, and, yes, sexing nothing (thank god).
"CHOCO!" he shouted at it, dashing over to glomp it. Unfortunately, however, the chocobo was quite creeped out, and so it decided to cast a particularly powerful Meteor spell on him, resulting in Darius's untimely death.
But once again, since this IS a fanfiction, the main character STILL can't die yet. (Everyone: "DAMN!") So, somehow, the soul of Darius jumped into a plot-hole and everything went back to normal, the way it was before he saw "Choco."
"Idiot," everyone murmured in unison, shaking their heads with much pity.
But, since they still had a LOOOOOOOOOOONG ways to go before they actually reached the end of the Mi'ihen Highroad (because, instead of spending valuable time traveling, they had spent the entire chapter having boring conversations and boring battles with Belgemine, thus making the author of this story look bad), they decided to use the same Plot-Hole to travel to the end of the Highroad.
"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Brynna cheered, while leaping into the plot-hole.
"This better not make me throw up…" Tidus muttered, but nevertheless warily stepped into the thing. Darius shrugged and sniffed the plot-hole to make sure it wasn't a trap, and then hopped inside.
And the others had a one-hour party, happy to have gotten rid of Darius, Brynna, and Tidus so easily. Unfortunately for them, however, Choco the Chocobo got pissed off and kicked their asses into the plot-hole anyway.
The sun was setting. Yuna was sitting on the edge of a cliff by the Rin's Travel Agency Slash Motel, which was a travel agency/motel. Everyone but Tidus (and obviously Yuna) was inside, so he decided to have a talk with her while he could. He sauntered up to her and said, "Hey there!"
Yuna turned around and screamed, and hid something in her in her bra, where she doubted Tidus would look. Of course, Tidus, being a pervert, got all the details of the object she was hiding, and learned that it was a sphere of some sort.
"IT'S NOTHING! NOTHING, ALRIGHT?" Yuna screamed frantically, literally ripping out her hair.
Tidus stared in horror at the newly bald Yuna. He hastily took out a container of Super-Super-Super-Super-Super-Super Glue to paste the hair back on.
"Ah, much better…" he moaned, plopping down next to her.
Yuna patted her hair and smiled, returning her gaze to the sun. "Isn't it beautiful?"
"Not particularly—er, I mean YEAH!" he agreed, nodding fiercely. "…wait, what are we talking about?"
"…-.-;" Yuna replied.
(And YES, it IS possible to have an internet face in dialogue!)
"Rrrrrrright… Listen, I was wondering, um…what is 'the calm'?" Tidus said. He had heard the term spoken before, but had never grasped what it was; 'calm' was an adjective, not a noun!
"Oh, the Calm is a time of peace," she said, not removing her gaze from the sun. (Of course, one would wonder how Yuna was able to stare at the sun without it frying her eyes into sunny-side-up eggs, but then again, one would ALSO wonder how it is possible to do a whole bunch of OTHER things in this story as well.) "The Calm comes after a summoner defeats Sin, and lasts until Sin reappears."
"Oh. But then—what do people DO during the Calm that makes it so special?"
Yuna would have said, " 'The Nasty' of course! People can finally get their freak on in bed without worrying about Sin accidentally stepping on them in the middle of an orgasm," but it would have been way OOC, and besides that, extremely disgusting.
So instead, she merely tilted her head to the side like a ditz.
"And…if Sin just keeps getting reborn…" Tidus continued, "then, what's the—"
She stopped tilting her head and frowned gravely. "Don't say it's not worth it, Ti … Because it is. Even for a little while…people can sleep in their beds without being afraid. That kind of time is worth anything. Don't say it isn't worth it."
Tidus knew he would remember those wise words for the rest of his life. "Alright."
"You sure we aren't too rushed to stay in this hotel, ya?" Wakka asked Auron, inside the Rin's Travel Agency Slash Motel. "I mean, we shouldn't keep going—?"
"No, Wakka!" Lulu snapped. "If Sir Auron deems it wise to spend the night here, we'll all spend the night here! Please, please don't be so stubborn…" She put a hand to her face and shook her head helplessly.
"Alright, alright! Don't get your panties in a bunch!"
Lulu glared at him. Wakka was quick to dash into his room and lock the door. Lulu, satisfied, ambled into the corridor and took the room across from his, not bothering to lock her own door.
"Sir Auron, I would like to thank you again for joining us on our pilgrimage," Yuna said.
"I need no thanks. I did it because…I made a promise to your father. And 'it was the right thing to do,' as Jecht would have said." Auron laughed. "Good night."
After saying all of the appropriate goodbyes, everyone ended up walking down the hallway to their own separate rooms. Darius, however, stopped when he noticed a sign on the wall that had all of the motel's current occupants written on it.
On the sign were Darius's name, Tidus's name, Yuna's name, Brynna's, Lulu's, Wakka's, and Auron's…and, interestingly, the sign also named all of the occupations of the occupants: Beside the names was the words "a guardian of Summoner Yuna."
Darius, bored, decided to continue to look at the sign for no apparent reason. Apparently there was one other occupant of this motel, who he had not heard of before:
"Seer Jade."
A Seer? Whose name is Jade? Heh. He shrugged and walked into his "room," which was really nothing but a teeny one-room thing with one teeny bed. He leaped on the bed and stared up at the ceiling, which, nastily, was crawling (literally) with cockroaches and ants.
He kicked them off the ceiling and chucked them out the nonexistent window, and got back in the bed, ready to fall asleep.
But he couldn't. There were too many questions looming in his mind. Questions about what Auron had told him earlier… Why didn't I ask Nyl? He had been so stupid. Who cared if everyone thought he was crazy? He still should've asked Nyllia about everything…surely, she would know. But NO, he had told her to go away. Great.
Well, he thought, he would have to find out about the mysteriousness of everything when the time was right. Knowing this, he pulled the covers over himself and closed his eyes, ready to fall asleep.
But sleep never came.
There was a voice in his head screaming at him: What do you mean, 'When the time is right'? The 'time' is NOW!
But…how can I find out right now?
The voice sighed irritably. Don't you remember? 'Seer Jade'! If she's truly a Seer, she will surely know what is going on. And she'd foresee you coming to ask her, so she wouldn't be surprised when you woke her up in the middle of the morning. GO.
That was true… But…should he? Was it right? He did have morals, AND a conscience, you know.
Idiot! I AM your conscience! the voice bellowed angrily. Get the HELL over to Jade's room, NOW!
But something told him that it really wasn't the right time to find out about everything. Something told him that if he learned about all of the things going on around him, he would be much worse off. Something told him—
Who CARES what 'something told you'? If you won't do it yourself, I'll have to take over.
And suddenly, his sword Dyrnsyn began to glow with a powerful intensity, lighting up the room—and he felt an angry, vengeful presence enter his mind and body. He could no longer control his actions or his words—it was like he was being controlled…by some dark presence deep within him.
"I'll find out what I want to know," the dark presence said forced him to say. He couldn't control anything now—it was as if he was watching himself from a 3rd person point of view, and couldn't do anything about what he was being forced to do and say. "Or else, I'll just have to burn down this place. DYRNSYN! COME!"
The sword flew magically to his hand. The dark presence forced him to point his sword at the door—and immediately, the door was engulfed in flame. He made a gesture with his hand, and the flame abated, leaving an open entrance to the hallway.
STOP! STOP! he screamed mentally at himself. But he knew it wouldn't do a thing.
"I don't think so," the dark presence said cruelly. "I—no, we—will find out what we want to know—or this whole building will face my wrath…one life at a time."
----------------------------------
"It begins now," Yevon laughed, from far, far away, looking down at Darius as he magically burned down the door with Dyrnsyn. "The Son has now finally, truly, been born."
-S