The fire department had come and gone. Suave and macho Italian firefighters had prevented the blaze from gutting Buffy's apartment, though the kitchen and some of the living room was ruined. The suave and macho firefighters had then flirted and sweet-talked them. The insanely stereotypically charismatic men who had tried to seduce her did nothing for Willow. The insanely stereotypically charismatic men who tried to seduce Buffy met with some limited success in charming her, and great success in increasing Willow's jealousy.
Currently Willow is sitting in a bar, the Buca di Fagacini, in the little known Parco del Sud region of Rome, drowning her sorrows in stiff drinks and fatty foods.
"You must really be depressed," stated Xander, trying to play the sympathetic friend, "You haven't even touched your soffi di formaggio." He really just wanted some of her soffi di formaggio, since he had neglected to order earlier and the service was unbearably slow here. But the waitresses were hot. Which may have been why he was there at all. It was definitely why Willow was there.
"I've blown it completely," she wailed. "I mean, I try to cook her a nice dinner and tell her how I want her, but all I end up doing is burning the place."
"We've done worse stuff than burn her apartment down. She'll get over it."
"See this melted blob of plastic?" which Willow conveniently retrieved from her purse - it was a twisted, grapefruit sized chunk of biege plastic slag. "It used to be Buffy's new air conditioner. But it matches well with my tv," she said, setting the melted blob of black plastic slag down next to it.
"Why do you keep carrying those around with you."
"I like to have props for my complaining."
"You're the Carrot Top of pain."
"I thought that was Carrot Top." She poured another scotch down her gullet. "All I want is for Buffy to love me, but everything just goes horribly wrong all the time. It's like there's some mean-spirited, evil bastard controlling my fate, making sure that the worst things constantly happen, conspiring to make sure we never get together. I just want to kiss her so bad..."
"Dude, you're hot for a chick?" exclaimed the boy sitting on the opposite side of Xander. He was obviously excited.
Willow rubbed her bleary eyes and peered at the intruder. "Xander, who is this?"
Xander leaned back and presented him to Willow. "Willow, this is Stan. He's American from... where was it? Colorado? He and his friends are here sightseeing or something. I invited him to sit here since I thought it would be nice to listen to people without accents for a while. That's Kyle back there," he pointed to Jewish looking guy opposite Stan. "I don't know where the others went. If you don't want them to be here I can-"
"No, that's okay," Willow said, unconvincingly. "They're welcome to wallow in my misery. Though you look awfully young to be sitting in a bar."
"Yeah, we get that a lot," said Kyle. "People keep telling me I could pass for a nine year old. It's really frustrating."
"Don't tell me about frustrating," replied Willow. "Buy me a bottle and I'll tell you. There's sordid girl on girl action to keep you interested." You bet Stan and Kyle ponied up the cash.
While Willow was regaling the boys with tales of love, loss, and a little smut, Xander noticed Buffy wander into the bar. He excused himself and went to intercept her before she reached the table.
"Buff. How are you?"
She let out a big breath of air. "Tired, Xand. There's a bunch of damage but it's mostly liveable. I'll be eating takeout for a while. Nothing wrong with that. I wish I hadn't got rid of my old air conditioner, though. That could've come in handy now."
"I know. Willow showed me."
"She's really got to stop carrying those around with her. It's kinda weird."
"Don't go too hard on her, Buff. She feels worse about this than you could possibly realize."
"It's already forgotten. She was just trying to do a nice thing for me, and really most of the damage was my fault. I just want to talk to her and let her know that I'm not angry with her. She's gone through a lot recently, and I want her to know that no matter what happens, or whatever hair-brained scheme-turned-disaster she pulls next, I'm always going to be there for her."
"That's so great, Buffy. She'll be relieved to hear that. C'mon. She's over there talking to those two short American guys." Xander lead her to the table, then tapped a startled Willow on the shoulder.
"Hi Willow," said Buffy.
Willow's eyes went big. She opened her mouth to speak - then blach! she projectile vomitted all over Buffy.
"Ew!" and Buffy ran off.
"Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here," said Stan.
"You know, I learned something today..."