The gang had gotten together at Andrew's place to watch movies. They would normally have done this in Buffy's place but, as it was severely scorched, Andrew immediately jumped at the chance to show everyone his new home decor. It wasn't just an innocent get together, oh no it was not. Xander had picked out a movie especially to aid in Willow's cause. That meant lesbian content. Which he was happy with too. Anyway... about the movie: it's crap. But it was crap on purpose so that Willow would have free rein to talk through it without anyone complaining. They're sneaky people, Willow and Xander. "You know what I hate about TV and movies?" asked, no, demanded Willow during a lesbian make out scene taking place in a library.

"No, we don't. Please tell us," deadpanned Andrew, who really didn't want to hear what Willow had to say, but really didn't want to watch any more of the movie either.

"No matter what," she said, "any girl can seduce any other girl in practically no time flat. Doesn't even matter if she's straight as an arrow or a nun or the seductress has no redeeming qualities. Just 'bang!' Instant girl/girl make out. I can tell you from experience, it isn't that easy. Even hot as I am," bragged Willow to Andrew's annoyance, and everyone else's disbelief. Not that she wasn't hot - she was - but that she was bragging, and that was so unlike shy, mousy Willow. But Xander gave her a wink to show that he was in on the ploy. That is, it was probably a wink. It was difficult to tell with Xander. "There are still some girls who you can't click with, at least not right away. And don't get me started with the straight ones."

Faith stole a slow, lovelorn glance in Buffy's direction. "I hear ya," she said, but no one was paying attention.

"I'd like to point out that all these things are written by men and we're horny, sick perverts who take every opportunity to see girl on girl action because we like lesbians," explained Xander.

"You're disgusting!" shouted Dawn (who was surprised that she was even allowed to watch the movie in the first place).

Buffy said, "I think all the women here will attest to that." The collected members of Girl Power Inc. nodded their agreement. Then they scowled at the two men of Pigs Ltd. in attendance, who slunk back into their chosen shelters.

"We're outnumbered, Xander," Andrew whispered. "I hope you don't mind if I change sides, just for safety's sake."

Meanwhile, Dawn continued from Willow's rant about the implausibilities of the movie. It was annoying but infinitely better than actually watching the movie. "...And please. Why would anyone want to have sex with that?" she gestured at the bare-breasted manly woman currently on screen. "I know she's not really as butch as they make her out to be but damn. That other girl is certifiably hot. She could have anyone she wants and she's doing the little, androgynous creep? Creep doesn't even have a charming personality," though it was hard to tell that anyone had a personality at all with the bad acting. "If I were her I'd hold out for something better; a girl with real boobs with good hair who smiles once in a while. Um... I mean...a real man." She quickly corrected after intercepting Buffy's stern glare.

"Nice save, pip-squeak."

"If they tried this with guys it wouldn't work. It would either be funny in a gross way, or no one would buy it," Xander explained. "Take how these things start, for example. Observe: Ooh... I'm a little drunk. Let's play Twister." Xander staggered over Andrew. "Oops. Did I slip? I'm sorry about rubbing up against your bottom, Andrew."

"That's okay," Andrew replied, shakily. "I wouldn't mind if you did it again."

They moved very close to each other. "This is an awkward position. What if I accidentally brushed my lips against yours?" said Xander, with a mock innocent tone. "Oh no! I couldn't have just done that! But it felt so good."

"Oh kiss me, Xander!" yelled Andrew. The two collapsed into a pile of theatrical stage moans, with pantomimed groping and cries of "oh yes, Xander" and "give it to me!" before Xander sprung back to his heels.

"See, funny," he said.

"Yeah. No one would buy that," Andrew, of the shifty eyes and out of breath panting, added.

Xander leaned back in his reclined position against the side of the couch, oblivious to Andrew's discomfort (or was it desperation). "So if we do it, it's socially unacceptable. But say if it was Faith and Buffy-"

"What?" Buffy sneered at him.

Xander's eyes glazed over for a second or two as his mouth hung open in deep contemplation. "Nothing," he said carefully. "Could you throw me a pillow?"

So he's in intensive care...