Disclaimer: Check out the first chap. If you don't feel like it, that's up to you.
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p.s: I'm going have my laptop serviced tomorrow ... i don't know how long it's going to take.
I remember someone telling me that everything happens for a reason. So with Catherine being all friendly towards me... there must be a reason. Right? Why does there always have to be a reason? Because there usually is. Or is there?
Six years working together. Never has she massaged my back. The closes thing of her touching me was the occassional pat on the back with a 'good work, Sara' praise. A simple touch from her makes my day. Six years together, never has she pestered me to go out with the boys. Usually when I say 'no', that's it. But now, she doesn't drop it. If there is a reason behind all this, it better be a good one. If there's none, and she just wants to be friends- well, I guess I have to get used to talking to her more, seeing her more, associating with her more, and hurting me more. Yeah... it is a stuggle to be friends with someone you're in love with. So I guess my struggle continues. What a predicament I'm in.
Friends.
She wins. Being friends with her is better than nothing.
We continue to drive the main highway with the occassional small talk. Once in awhile I would pretend to read a sign board just to take a quick glance at her. I know I've said it before, she's drop dead gorgeous. It's hard to take your eyes off on something that beautiful. And Catherine Willows is beautiful.
"...so I said to Eckile is that if he interferes with my work again I will hit him where it hurts."
"When you said 'hit him', is that ..."
"Physically, yes. I will hit him. He's getting on my nerves. With my three inch heels I know it's gonna hurt."
"Really, Catherine..."
"Oh, yes I will. He wouldn't be the first to see my heels way up close."
"Huh?"
"Joke, Sara."
"Oh, Well there always has to be an Ecklie at a work place. Keeps our jobs interesting."
"Yeah, right. So, change of subject, Sara. I heard a few rumors about you."
"Huh?" Oh, lord.
"I heard someone has a thing for you."
"If it's the Greg thing, that's old news. He does that to pester me and get attention."
"No, no. Not Greg. Someone else likes you."
"That's hard to imagine."
"What do you mean, Sara?"
"Look at me, Catherine. I mean, I'm Sara Sidle. Who in their right mind..."
"Sara, stop. You're beautiful, talented. Smart and funny."
"Talented and smart, come on now. Beautiful, no. Funny, hell, no."
"You underestimate yourself. Why do you put yourself down? You are beautiful. I'm not just saying that, but you are, really. Funny? I like your humor. It's cute."
Cute? When is my humor cute? When was the last time I made a joke? Hell, I don't remember because I never made one! Cute. The pig 'Babe' was cute. Ellen Degeneres' humor is 'cute'. Dave Letterman's humor is 'cute'. Sara Sidle's humor is dry. Like a shriveled cactus in the desert sun. Not even that comment is cute. Okay, if this is the extent of her being nice and is part of the 'getting to know you more' phase. Then I guess I'll accept that my humor to her is so called cute. Really now, what's up with that?
"So?"
"So...what now..."
"Sara..."
"I honestly haven't heard anything."
"Well, you will."
"Tell me who it is, Catherine."
"I can't. I promised."
"You promised not to tell who it is?"
"Yes."
"But you're telling me that someone..."
"...likes you but I can divuldge who."
"That's real peachy, Catherine."
"It is, isn't it?"
Look at her smile so innocently. God, I so much want to kiss her.
And talk about irritation. Not knowing who it is, is going to bug me. It will bother me till I find out who in the world likes me. Why would anyone who knows me like me? Damn...is this why she's being nice to me? Is she being a bridge for someone?
Oh, well. I guess I'll enjoy the moment being close to her before my world crumbles down. Sure sucks a lot.
"Sara, you look cute when you pout."
"I beg your pardon?"
"I said you look..."
"I know what you said. But why are you saying this to me?"
"Being cute and all?"
"Yes, Catherine. You're confusing me."
"And how am I doing that?"
True. How is she confusing me? Alright then. I don't do well with flattery. Four in a row is a lot. Calling me smart and talented, followed with beautiful and funny. Then she adds 'cute'. This is too much for me to handle. Is this what friends do to each other? Compliment and flatter each other? I guess so then.
I'm so behind times. I guess I should try it sometime.
"I don't know. I'm not used to being complimented especially when it's coming from you, Catherine."
"Well, I guess we should hang out more often so you'll get used to me complimenting you."
"If you're just being nice..."
"Sara, when I say something nice it's because I find something in you worth complimenting. Got it?"
"Ummm, sure."
"Sara..."
"I got it. I'm sorry, I'm just a bit.."
"...insecure?"
"Yes."
"Don't be, Sara. There are so many things in you that is so admirable. Your dedication and determination to name a few."
Dedication and determination. Now that's ironic. Six years of wanting her, that's dedication. And I'm determined for her not to find out. It would mess up our so called blooming friendship... Dedication and determination, yeah, that is me.
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