I'm SOOO HAPPPYYY!!! People really like this story! I'm so happy! Thank you for reviewing! You don't know how much they mean to me! My fanfics are all I have and it makes me really happy to know people reads them.
Gojyo: Sheesh! You need a life!
GWNL: But all the good lives are taken!
Thanks to kenihiko, Shnickerdoodles, Black-Ryo, Storm Herder, Cace Hope and, paranoidcharlotte who noticed that I got a little help from the Lioness Quartet. I didn't really think anyone would notice. Thank you all so much!!
Disclaimer: Do I ever own anything? Well, I own Tsuki I guess, but that's it.
Summery: What if Sanzo was actually a woman? How long will she able to keep it a secret? And how will the others react when they find out? Read what it would be like if Sanzo was actually a woman!
Pairing: Sanzo x Just about everyone
Note: This is just going to be the basic original story in the books, with a few minor changes.
♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♀♂♀♂♀
It was just like any other day. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and Goku and Gojyo were bickering as usual.
"Ah! Time out!! You switched cards just now, didn't you?!" yelled Goku. He and Gojyo were currently playing cards while the other two sat in front, trying to ignore them.
"I did not! Maybe you're hallucinating?" said Gojyo.
"Okay, then show me the card you just threw away." said Goku.
"No." replied Gojyo simply.
"You perverted Kappa!" Goku yelled.
"Whaa?! You want a piece of me chibi monkey!!" yelled Gojyo.
"Bring it on!" Sanzo twitched as the fought. She was feeling better now and her period had pasted... But that didn't change the fact those two were annoying as hell!!
"Take your fight out of the car!!" she yelled. Hakkai laughed.
"It's shaping up to be another lively day, isn't it?" he said. Gojyo then pushed Goku, and he fell right in front of Hakkai!
"Ah! You idiot! Are you trying to get us– Killed?" yelled Sanzo as they suddenly drove off a cliff.
"Oh dear." was all Hakkai said, his eyes wide.
"EEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!" they all yelled as they pursed into the river. After a few minutes they all came up.
"Damn! It's cold!" cursed Gojyo as he came up. "Hey, this is your fault, you stupid monkey!!"
"Why is it my fault?! You're the one who..." Goku trailed off as Sanzo pushed both of them under water.
"Die! Just die!!" she growled. She had always hated rivers, since she was young. It was a good thing she wore big clothes, or her figure would be showing right now, although if you looked really closely, you could see a bit of her figure. Suddenly they all heard laughing. They turned and a beautiful woman, holding a basket of clothes.
"Oh... I'm sorry. You all seemed to be having so much fun, I just..." she trailed off. Sanzo let out a low growled as she put a hand to her head.
"Don't group me with them." she said.
"Are you doing laundry, Miss?" asked Hakkai. "I'm sorry. We've dirtied the water."
"Ah, hell. What're we going to do now?" mumbled Gojyo as he looked at soaked, mad at being wet. "Even our spare clothes are soaked."
"-Ah. If you need to dry off, why not come to my place? I'll make tea. My apologizes for laughing." said the woman. "I'm Shunrei by the way."
//Later//
The Sanzo party were now at Shunrei's house.
"Were there enough towels?" Shunrei asked as Sanzo and the boys came out dressed in different clothes.
"Yes. You're a great help." said Hakkai. "Sorry to impose. We're even borrowing your clothes."
"Not at all. I'm just glad they fit." said Shunrei.
"I don't see why you had to go into the bathroom to change, Sanzo." said Goku to Sanzo, who went into the bathroom to change instead of into the other room with the others. "It's not like you have anything we haven't seen before. I mean, we're boys too."
'Wanna bet?' Sanzo thought as she scowled at him.
"Come to think of it... I don't think Sanzo's ever undressed in front of us. What's the matter, monk-chan? You hidin' somethin'?" Gojyo asked. Sanzo glared at him.
"Do you realize how sick that sounds? And in any case, if I'm hiding it's my disdain for you." she said shortly.
"Now, Now." said Hakkai. Just then there was a knock at the door.
"Shunrei! It's me. Can I come in?" a voice called.
"Oh, it's Pan. Come in!" called Shunrei. An elderly woman entered the house, carrying a pot. "This is Auntie Pan from next door. Her cooking is amazing." introduced Shunrei.
"I brought lunch! There's plenty for everybody." said Pan.
"It looks so good!! We can eat this?! Really?! Really?!" asked Goku excitedly.
"Of course you can, my boy." said Pan.
"Alright!" cheered Goku.
"You stupid monkey! At least put some on a plate first!" yelled Gojyo.
"They're not my friends, I just want to point that out." Sanzo said to Shunrei and Pan.
"Oh, my. Aren't you all handsome!" said Pan as she looked at the boys. "If only I was ten years younger."
"Or 20, aunty, but who's counting?" said Gojyo.
"I'm going to check the laundry now." said Shunrei as she walked towards the door.
'That's weird. I half expected Tsuki to walk through that door. Come to think of it, I haven't seen her since last week. I wonder where she is. Ch. Like I care ether way.' she thought. 'I just wish she hadn't told me what she did last time we talked.'
//Flash Back//
"So how long am I going to be... you know..." Sanzo asked, using her male voice as she took a sip of tea.
"Having your period?" asked Tsuki with a large grin. Right now she was disguised as a middle aged woman with long white hair and brown eyes.
"Yeah..."
"Well, a period is also known as the fertility cycle. It will come stop now and again for same months at a time, maybe weeks at a time." she answered as she took a sip of tea. Sanzo gave her a flat look.
"You didn't answer my question." she said through gritted teeth. "How long do I have to put up with this?"
"Until you're too old to bear children."
"WHAT?!" yelled Sanzo in her female, as she crush her tea cup in her grip.
"Shh!! Keep it down! Do you want your friends coming in here?" hissed Tsuki.
"Are you kidding me?! Tell me your joking!" Sanzo exclaimed, lowering her voice a little.
"Nope. Sorry." said Tsuki as she took another sip of tea. "You shouldn't worry so much! It's as normal as the full moon! You may as well get used to it."
"No!" yelled Sanzo as she jumped to her feet. "No, I won't let it!"
"Will you clam down! If you keep this up, that Hakkai dude will come to check up on you!" Tsuki hissed again. "You're a female, Sanzo! No matter how you change your voice and your clothes, in the end you're a woman! Deal with it!"
"But you can change into a man and woman at any given moment! Teach me! Make me a man!" said Sanzo earnestly, although it sounded more like frustrated. Tsuki sweat dropped.
"Do you know how sick that sounds? And I just disguise myself with a little help of magic. I can be anything... On the outside. But on the inside I'm still who I am. Sorry, Sanzo, but you can't change what you are! Or at least not your gender and all. I could cast many spells, and slap many costumes on you... But in the end, you are what you are deary. So here's my advice... That you stop being such a idiot, straighten up, accept the fact that you are not a man, and move on with your life!" she told her. She soften when she saw Sanzo's face, downcast.
"Look... You can always change your life, and you can change your destiny. But you cannot change who you are. The sooner you accept that, the happier you will be. Trust me, I know these things. Once you accept yourself, you'll be happy." she kyuued to Sanzo softly. Sanzo didn't reply. She just stared at the floor.
"Now, continuing our discussion on the fertility cycle; It comes once a month and lasts five days or so. Bathe each day and bandage yourself, you should be fine. And if you take those hormone pills I gave you at the temple, you'll be able to act normal. Well, almost normal. Oh, and the cycle won't come if you get pregnant. But I don't think you want to deal with a baby right now. Oh, man. Look this mess you made. I hope you know, I'm not cleaning this up." Tsuki said as she looked at the spilt tea and the broken cup.
"Will this... cycle slow me down?" Sanzo asked as she ran a hand through her hair.
"Not as long as you don't sleep with any men. A baby will defiantly slow you down, man." said Tsuki, running a hand through her long hair as well.
"I don't plan on children." said Sanzo shortly.
"Most don't, kiddo. It only takes once to get pregnant. And you've broken every other rule of monk hood, so it wouldn't surprise me if you lost your virginity."
"Shut up!" Sanzo snapped, cherry red. Tsuki laughed.
"Well, in case it does happens, I'll get you a charm against pregnancy. Better safe than sorry. And if you change your mind about having children, you can throw it away."
"Monkeys will fly." scoffed Sanzo shortly. Tsuki laughed a little harder.
"Well, flying's not that hard. Even Goku could learn, so it's possible." she said. Sanzo glared at her.
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"
"Very much."
"Don't you have any other hobbies?"
"Well... Now that you mentioned it, I do rather enjoy stalking people." Tsuki said with a straight face. Sanzo twitched. "That's not something you should admit. You're more perverted than Gojyo." she said.
"Well, you asked. And those are finghtin' words, bozu!" shrugged Tsuki. Suddenly there was knock at the door.
"Sanzo? Are you alright?" Hakkai asked.
"ACK!" Tsuki and Sanzo exclaimed as Tsuki then literally jumped out the window. Sanzo quickly threw the extra cup of tea after her just before Hakkai came in.
"Sanzo? I thought I heard someone else in here." he said as he entered.
"Ch. You must be hearing things. As you can see I am alone, or at least I was until you came in." Sanzo said calmly.
"But I could have sworn..." then Hakkai spotted the broken cup. "Um, Sanzo... Why is that cup broken?"
"Because I dropped it of course. Anymore dumb questions?" Sanzo asked as she sat at the window sill, looking at the window. She didn't see Tsuki, but she saw a small black cat, meowing. She vaguely wondered if that cat was Tsuki.
"I guess I really am hearing things." sighed Hakkai. "I'm probably tired. I'm going to sleep. Maybe I'll feel better in the morning."
"Yeah, whatever." said Sanzo as she continued to look at the cat. Tsuki really could disguise herself as anything.
//End Flashback//
'I wonder if that fall killed her. We were on the third floor.' Sanzo thought. 'Ugh. I don't know why I'm thinking about her so much. I just have a bad feeling when she's not around.'
//Meanwhile//
"Ouch! My back!" Tsuki moaned as she cut through some bushes. "Ugh! I've really gotta stop jumping out of windows on the third story. I keep forgetting that I'm not a god anymore." she groaned as she leaned against a tree. At the moment she was disguised as a traveling merchant with short black hair and brown eyes. She put a hand to her forehead as she thought of Sanzo. "Aw, well. You're worth all the trouble, kiddo. Although, if your aunt finds out, I'm dead." she said as she covered her eyes. "Then again, can she kill someone in charge of the Underworld? Hm... Eh, better not risk it. Anyway right now I have a bigger problem... Where the hell are you Sanzoooo!!"
//Back to the Sanzo party//
"So you four are headed west?" asked Pan. "Why not rest here for awhile? This village is a good place. You'll be right at home."
"We're on a tight schedule." Sanzo immediately turned down the offer. "We can't stay long."
"Yes, yes. You should travel while you're young." said Pan. "I need to thank you, by the way."
"Thank us?" asked Hakkai.
"For Shunrei. It's been a long time since I've seen that girl smile." Pan explained.
"...Eh? Why's that?" asked Goku as he ate a meat bun. Pan looked sad and sighed.
"Until recently, Shunrei had a very dear lover. But he... was a Youkai. Everyone knows that a union between a human and a youkai is taboo... But those two were such good hardworking children... That everyone in the village gave them their blessing." she explained sadly. "That all ended about a year ago. You probably heard the news... Youkai all over the world suddenly went into a rage. The rage tore at every Youkai in our village. I'm afraid her lover was no exception. When he felt the change and before he lost completely...he shook free of Shunrei and fled from her arms. He hasn't returned since. Shunrei never smiled after that."
"So these clothes... belonged to him." said Hakkai as he touched the shirt he was wearing. Pan nodded and said,
"They're freshly washed, you'll notice. Sweet Shunrei is always preparing for his return. To distract her from her loneliness... She's always doing laundry. Her loaning you those important clothes... isn't an apology for laughing at the stream. It's her thanks to you for bringing a smile to your face." Pan explained as she sighed again. "It's been hard on all of us. We only wish for Jien to come back alive." This caught Gojyo's attention and he looked up.
"Jien...?! The guy's name is Jien?!" he asked as he soon stood. Pan looked at little surprise at the suddeness but recovered and replied,
"Yes, that's right. He came to our village about four years ago, so I'm not sure if that's his real name. Why? Do you know him?"
"–No. Maybe..." Gojyo trailed off as he looked away. Sanzo and Goku were confused, but Hakkai seemed to understand.
//Later//
"Hey, where's Gojyo?" asked Goku.
"Who knows? I'm not his mother. Probably the bathroom." said Sanzo.
"Geh! What's all this?" asked Goku when he saw all the futons. Hakkai was reading his book while the other two stood.
"Well, they want to take care of us." said Hakkai. "We wouldn't want to reject their kindness."
"Hey. Come on and spill, Hakkai." said Goku as he sat on the bed. "Who is this 'Jien' guy... The one Gojyo's looking for?" Suddenly Hakkai stood.
"I think I need to use the facilities." he said.
"With your book?" asked Sanzo.
"Don't try to weasel outta this!" yelled Goku. "You lived with Gojyo so you're the only one that knows!"
"Why don't you ask him?" asked Hakkai.
"I like my head where it is." said Goku.
"You guys suck." grumbled Goku as he grabbed a pillow. "I don't have any stinkin' secrets. You don't tell me anything." Sanzo stared at him.
"...How old are you?" she asked.
"Leave me alone!" yelled Goku, a little red. "I'm still growin'!"
'He'd throw a giant fit if he ever found out I was hiding the fact that I was a girl from him. All the more reason I can't let him ever find out.' Sanzo thought to herself. Hakkai sighed.
"Well, Gojyo hasn't told me not to tell you." he said. "His name is Sha Jien. He disappeared when Gojyo was 8... after saving Gojyo's life. Jien's his older brother. Well, half brother to be precise. They had different mothers."
"So this 'Jien' guy. Is he a full Yokai?" Sanzo asked.
"Yes. I understand Jien was a legitimate child. He saved Gojyo when their father's legal wife tried to kill him." answered Hakkai."I'm sure she wouldn't have made a attempt on Gojyo's life if he were normal. As you know, Gojyo was born to a Yokai father. And a human mother. A half- breed. In other words... He's a child of Taboo."
//The Next Day//
The whole Sanzo gang was sleeping like the dead, Hakkai slept in the bed while the rest slept on the futons, all were wearing their usual clothes. Suddenly Pan burst into the room.
"Hey, all of you! You have to wake up! Hey!" she yelled. But no one was moving. "WAKE UP!!" she yelled as she whipped the blanket off Sanzo and Goku.
"Wh-Wha, auntie? It's six o clock in the morning!" groaned Goku.
"Forget the time! Do you know where Shunrei is?" Pan asked frantically. Gojyo suddenly looked serious.
"Did something happen to her?" he asked.
"I can't find her anywhere! She must have heard those rumors." said Pan.
"What rumors?" asked Sanzo, now wide awake.
"Lat night. They say Yokai attacked some humans in the forest. They say he looked like Jien!" she answered.
"Oh, man! But she didn't go alone, did she?" asked Goku.
//A few minutes later//
"Faster Hakkai! You drive like a old man!" yelled Gojyo where they were all in Hakuryu, and fully dressed.
"This is as fast as we can go." said Hakkai as he drove through the forest.
"If the rumors are true and it is Jien... we can't let Shunrei see him." said Sanzo.
"What's Shunrei thinking?!" asked Goku.
"How should I know?" replied Sanzo.
'Stupid girl! I know I would never do anything so stupid.' she thought.
"She not thinking of anything... Except the guy she loves." said Gojyo.
Then Hakuryu stopped in a front of a gruff of trees.
"This is it. We can't go any further by car. The forest's deeper than I thought." said Hakkai.
"We'll split up." said Sanzo as everyone jumped out of the jeep. "Gojyo, Hakkai, go that way. I'll take Goku and head north."
"Fine." grunted Gojyo.
"Jeep, please stay here in case we get lost." said Hakkai as he patted Jeep, who kyuued.
"Shunrei!" yelled Goku as he and Sanzo looked through the bushes.
"Where are you, Shunrei?!" yelled Sanzo as she looked for her. "Shun– WHOA!" Sanzo yelled as he was suddenly yanked into a bush.
"Shh! It's me you fool!" said Tsuki.
"Tsuki? Where were you? I thought you died." said Sanzo quietly.
"Ha! Not likely. Although I am very sore." Tsuki laughed. She had twigs and branches in her hair. "I need to put a tracer or something on you! It took me awhile to find you?"
"Sanzo? Hey! Sanzo! Where'd you go?" asked Goku as he looked for Sanzo. Tsuki stiffened as she cursed to herself.
"Shit! You're with the monkey?"
"You didn't notice?"
"No! Why are you two out here anyway?" Tsuki asked.
"We're looking for a woman named Shunrei. Have you seen her?" Sanzo asked her. Tsuki shook her head.
"Nope. But I did see three Youkai, but they weren't bugging me, so I avoided them." she replied.
"You didn't kill them?"
"Nope! Like I said, they're not my problem."
"Sanzo!" cried Goku, more desperately this time. Tsuki sighed.
"We'll talk later. For now, go back to your love child." she said. Before Sanzo could respond, Tsuki pushed her out of the bushes, into Goku's view.
"Sanzo! There you are! What were you doing?" he asked her. Sanzo straightened out.
"Looking for Shunrei, like you're suppose to be doing! Stop wasting time and look for her." she said.
"But–!" Goku started. Suddenly they heard a scream.
"Shunrei!" yelled Goku. They ran towards the scream and saw three youkai advancing on her.
"Damn, you're ever hotter up close! Today really is our lucky day!" said a demon with silver hair as he advanced on Shunrei.
"N-no! Don't!" Shunrei screamed as he grabbed her.
"Shunrei!" yelled Goku and Gojyo as they jumped out of they're bushes at the same time. Goku kicked the back of the demon's head the same time Gojyo kicked the front.
"Huh? Ow!" they exclaimed as all three of them fell to the ground.
"Oooh, what do they call that? A cross counter?" said Hakkai cheerfully as he slammed his fist on his palm.
"What are those idiots doing?" asked Sanzo with a growl as she went to Shunrei.
"Damn monkey!! Look where you're going before you jump into things!!" yelled Gojyo, holding his leg.
"I didn't hear you call it!" snapped Goku, holding his leg as well.
"Whaddya think you're doing?!" yelled one demon.
"You guys lookin' for trouble?" yelled another.
"That's not your man, is it? Hope not." asked Sanzo.
"N-no. I don't know him. He just looked like Jien from behind." said Shunrei. "Hey! You there! Do you know Jien? He has silver hair, like you!"
"Who's Jien? I'm the only silver haired Yokai around here." growled the silver haired Yokai. Shunrei looked both relieved and sad as she suddenly fell back.
"Shunrei? Shunrei!!" yelled Sanzo as she caught her.
"She's just fainted." Hakkai assured her. "She must be exhausted, having run all the way from the village." He then asked Hakuryu to turn into a jeep, and Sanzo set Shunrei in.
"Hey, you! Get your hands off our girl! We found her fair and square!" yelled the Yokai. "But as long as you're here... Maybe we should mince you up too."
"Wha?! I'd like to see you try!" yelled Goku.
"C'mon, you Goku. It's not worth it." said Gojyo dismissively. Then to the Yokai he said, "Look I don't really feel like cracking skulls today. So just go home, take a shit, and go to bed. Capicehe?"
"WHA...?!" yelled the silver haired Yokai.
"Let's go." said Gojyo, as they all began walking away, ignoring him.
"Auntie must be worried." said Goku.
"Hey are you making fun of us?!" the silver haired Yokai yelled after them.
"Hey, hold on a sec. Check out that red haired guy." said one of the Yokai. "I heard a long time ago... That when a man and a Yokai give birth to a child of Taboo... It's born with crimson hair and red eyes." The silver haired Yokai started laughing.
"What, so you're saying this guy is... A half-breed freak?!" he laughed. Gojyo tensed. "Your hair... Is red down there too? Well Freak?" Gojyo whipped around angrily, then was shocked by what he saw. Hakkai was practically breaking the silver haired Yokai's jaw, while Goku held one up by his shirt ready to strike, while Sanzo had his gun in another's.
"My. Do you remember the old adage... 'The mouth is the source of disaster?' You better heed it." said Hakkai, a frightening aura behind him. "Though if you'd like, you all may continue your speech in hell."
"Yeegh! S-sorry." said the Yokai he was holding. Goku dropped the Yokai he holding to the ground and Sanzo pulled her gun out of a Yokai's mouth.
"Next time you feel inclined to say something you'll regret... Bite your tongue and save yourself some humiliation. Idiot." she said as she wiped her gun and flipped the bird. Gojyo chuckled quietly. "Sheesh! You guys really are nut bags, aren't you." he chuckled as he pulled the last cigarette from the carton and ruffled her hair. They all started to walk away, when the demon yelled,
"You... You're frickin' dead!" Then they ran at the Sanzo party, knifes bared.
"Wow." said Gojyo as he summoned his weapon. "You're that interested... to get a peek at Big man.❤" Then he sliced all the demons up. "Sorry, fellas. I've gotta save it for the ladies."
"It's black! Right, Gojyo?" said Goku, suddenly. "I saw you in the bath."
"Shaddup, you." hissed Gojyo as he hit Goku on the head.
//Later//
After they gave Shunrei to Pan, the Sanzo party continued on their journey west.
"So, that Youkai... That wasn't your brother... was it?" asked Goku.
"Nah. My brother doesn't have silver hair." replied Gojyo. "Whatever. Life goes on. If we're both alive, maybe someday... We'll pass each other by and never even notice." Hakkai smiled at him.
"But damn. How come all the hot chicks we find are already taken?" he mumbled as he leaned back, not noticing Hakkai looking at him.
"Who really cares?" mumbled Sanzo. Being a woman, she wasn't really attracted to Shunrei. Plus she was a monk, so there.
"Hell, Sanzo! You'd have to be sick not to be just a little turned on by that girl." said Gojyo. "Unless you're a homo. Are you a homo? Better watch my ass." Sanzo twitched.
"May I shoot him?" she asked with a anime vein as she held up her gun.
"Somehow I doubt one shot will cut it." said Hakkai. Then Goku noticed a card stick out from under the cushion.
"AAAH! It's the card from yesterday! Ya did switch the cards, you cheating Kappa!"
"Oh, boo, hoo. Cut free of the ties of the past, monkey." said Gojyo as he kept Goku away.
"What was that?!" yelled Goku.
Just then Goku fell in front of Hakkai and jeep drove off a cliff again.
"Oy, not again..." said Gojyo. The boys fell into a river and Sanzo yelled loudly,
"I'M GONNA SHOOT BOTH OF THEM!"
Tsuki, who watching them from a tree, laughed.
"Oh, boy. They'll never learn." she said.