Disclaimer: Do I ever own anything?
Summery: What if Sanzo was actually a woman? How long will she able to keep it a secret? And how will the others react when they find out? Read what it would be like if Sanzo was actually a woman!
Pairing: Sanzo x Just about everyone
Note: This is just going to be the basic original story in the books, with a few minor changes.
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"Too... Hot!" groaned Goku loudly as the Sanzo party drove through a hot desert. "An' what's with the blankets in this sun? Blah!"
"Ditch it if you want to be covered in sand, monkey." said Gojyo. "Goddammit! You made me get sand in my mouth!"
"Scoot over. It's too hot for your crampin'!"
"There's no room to scoot, you fried monkey!"
"Wha?! Then you're a... dried out Kappa!" Suddenly Sanzo made her gun click as she stood.
"The grave is pleasantly cool." she said in deathly low voice.
"W-we'll shut up." they both said. Hakkai laughed.
"I'm afraid they would rot before they could enjoy it." he said.
"Hakkai, is this desert really a short cut?" asked Goku.
"The map says it isn't as big as it seems. Though it does interfere with one's sense of direction." said Hakkai.
"Sand, sand, sand. Bah." grumbled Gojyo. "Just looking at the heat waves is making me hotter."
"Would you like a scary to cool you off? I know plenty." suggested Hakkai.
"Uh, no. The last person I want freaking me out is you, Hakkai." declined Gojyo. Then Goku suddenly spotted someone.
"Huh? Check it out." said Goku. Walking, he saw a kid covered in a blanket like them. "Hey! Guy in th' blankets!" Goku yelled. The kid turned. "Do ya live around here?"
"And do you know how further this desert extends, please?" added Hakkai.
"Sure." said the kid as he looked at the map. "Your map's a little out dated. The desert's bigger now. You should be through in another night."
"For real?! ARRGH!" growled Goku.
"That does cause some problems." said Hakkai.
"You're travelers, right?" asked the kid. "My village isn't far from here. Come on– I'll show you a place to stay."
They went to the child's place with was in a small village, that wasn't that impressive.
"Thank you for all the help, both of you." said Hakkai to the kid's father.
"Travelers get lost in these parts a lot. Lucky this fella bumped into you." said the kid's father.
"Pardon me for asking... But why is there a village out here?" asked Hakkai as he removed his blanket.
"Hm. Right. This place used to be a decent town." said the kid's father. "A year ago, the desert suddenly expanded and swallowed the village up. We're just the ones who can't leave."
"Is that right?" asked Sanzo.
'I guess that's another form of spreading Chaos. But something's not right. I feel as if there's something bigger than Gyumaoh's resurrection going on... But what?' she wondered as she removed the blanket from her. The boy's eyes suddenly widened as he stared.
"Whatsa matter?" asked Gojyo noticing the frightened looks.
"Those robes you're wearing! Don't tell me... Are you a Sanzo Priest?!" the boy's father asked.
"Who wants to know?" asked Sanzo.
"I'm sorry, but you can't stay here. Find another place to sleep!" he said as he suddenly threw them out on the street.
Gojyo twitched.
"Whaa? Why the hell--" he started. They were all quiet for a moment. "What was that?"
"How should I know?" retorted Sanzo. Hakkai noticed the kid looking at the ground sadly.
"Do you know something of this, little one? We'd appreciate you sharing." he asked him. The kid was quiet then he said,
"...About a y-year ago. When this place was still part of the town... a Sanzo priest came through. He was resting from a rip– Like you guys. The whole town heard about it and wanted to come see. But a Yokai from the desert heard about him too. She came to eat the Sanzo Priest."
"Wow! She came all th' way here to eat a Sanzo?" asked Goku. "Sanzo's must taste awesome." Gojyo sweat dropped as he looked at him.
"I wish it sounded like you're kidding."
"The spider demon we fought said something like that." said Sanzo as she pulled out a smoke. "'Eating a priest will extend your lifespan'. She said it was sort of a Yokai legend."
"Ah. That would make a Sanzo, the highest priest... Like the best medicine in the world." said Hakkai.
"Shit. Is that really true?" Gojyo asked Sanzo.
"Hell if I know." replied Sanzo irritably. "Having never been eaten, I wouldn't know."
"So? What happened to th' Sanzo?" Goku asked the kid. "The monks with him tried to fight the youkai. They didn't stand much of a chance, so the Sanzo ended up taken. Though the Youkai left us alone after that... the desert's gotten wider since then." the kid answered.
"The nimrod let himself get eaten? But he was a frickin' said Gojyo.
"A Sanzo isn't necessarily powerful." said Hakkai. "I'm sure he was a proper, upright, normal Sanzo."
"Ooooh. So that's why." said Goku and Gojyo in comprehension.
"Are you implying something?" asked Sanzo angrily.
"That'd make us being here a danger to the villagers." said Gojyo. "Makes sense. I don't blame 'em for being dodgy."
"I'm sorry. The people here are nice, really." apologized the kid.
"Nah– Ya can't help bein' scared. 'S okay!" assured Goku. Hakkai sighed.
"We should probably leave soon, then." he said, not to eggar to go back in that desert. Sanzo was quiet. Too quiet.
"Is something wrong?" Hakkai asked her.
"Sort of." said Sanzo. Then to the kid she said, "Hey, kid."
"Yes?" said the kid as he looked up at her.
"Do you know where that deserts Youkai's base is?" she asked.
"Um, I have an idea." he replied.
"Then take us there."
"Wait a second!" interrupted Gojyo. "You wanna kill that thing? Since when are we heroes?"
"That thing's probably way out of the way." added Hakkai.
"An' she's gonna wanna eatcha, Sanzo!" put in Goku. Then Hakkai realized something.
"Wait. That's your 'ulterior motive' face." he said with a frown.
"...Maybe." said Sanzo.
'Where's Tsuki? She's good at finding stuff like this. Ugh. That's just like her. When I actually want to see her, she's never around.' she thought.
//Meanwhile//
Tsuki panted as he crawled across the desert sand.
"Mer...Merciful Goddess, my ass! This desert is HOT! And here I thought Ama-chan was asleep!!" he cried. Today he had short blue hair and blue eyes. "If it wasn't for the tracker I put on Kozen, I would have lost her!" he moaned as he pulled out a tracking device. "Now let's see... Where is she...? Oh, they're just on their way to get eaten by a desert Youkai... WHAT?!"
//Back to the Sanzo Party//
The Sanzo party stood and stared at the unending desert wasteland.
"Is this really th' place?" asked Goku. "It's just a whole lotta nothin'."
"The boy said five kilometers north by northeast– That's here." said Hakkai as he looked around.
"It's suppose to be in the sand, right? The Yokai castle, I mean." asked Gojyo.
"For real?" asked Goku. "How the heck're we suppose to get in?"
"Oi, Sanzo. Tell me why we're wasting our time again?" Gojyo asked Sanzo. Sanzo sighed.
"The kid said a Sanzo priest was taken here. If he was really killed by that Youkai... His belongings should still be in that castle, Including the Tenchi Kaigen Sutra every Sanzo carries." she explained.
"It seems that Gyumaoh's force is gathering Sutras." said Hakkai, understanding.
"Right. Which is why we need to find it first." said Sanzo. Just then Goku began to sink in the sand.
"What the– NYAGH!!" he yelled in surprise. "Hey! M-My body's sinkin'!" The others whipped around.
"Goku!" yelled Hakkai. Just then Gojyo began to sink too!
"What the hell's--" he started. "Wha?! You're shittin' me!"
"Watch it, Gojyo!" yelled Hakkai. Sanzo cursed as she grabbed Goku's arm.
"Dammit!" she cursed. She tried to pull him out, but just then she began to sink too! "Great. Is this a trap?" she exclaimed.
"I'd say that's a reasonable guess." said Hakkai as he began to sink too. "Goku! Gojyo!" he yelled as the other two completely sank. Hakuryu tried to pull him out, but he couldn't.
"Jeep?! No, don't! Let go before you're pulled in with us!" Hakkai yelled before he two sank.
//Later//
When Sanzo awoke, she was lying in a bed, numb.
'Where the hell... Am I?' she wondered. She tried to move, but couldn't. 'I guess that Youkai's looking for company. ...And my arms won't move. Great. Come to think of it, I move a thing. Drugs, maybe.' she thought to herself. She then heard a door open.
"Are we awake already? It's alright; There's no rush. If you're stuck in that bed, you might as well enjoy it." said a voice as someone entered. "I'm Lian Li, Master of this castle. And how are we feeling, dear Priest Sanzo?"
"Like... shit." was all Sanzo could manage.
'Damn, even me mouth barely moves.' she silently cursed.
"That's too bad." Lian purred.
"Where... are they?" Sanzo tried to ask.
"Your friends? Being entertained elsewhere. But forget about them." Lain continued to purr as she crawled towards her. "I admit I'm surprised. You're the second Sanzo to wonder into my home."
"...You ate the other one?" asked Sanzo.
"With Relish. He tasted better than he looked." said the demon. "You don't seem afraid. Why?"
"N-no reason." said Sanzo. Lian smirked.
"The other Sanzo chanted a sutra and almost wet himself. I thought all high priests were straight laced old men. A pretty young thing like you's a treat." she said as she leaned closer to her. "I think I like you."
"So you're already... immortal." said Sanzo. "Why bother eating me?"
"After you came all the way here? Not eating you would be rude." said Lian.
"T-tell me. What's the draw of being ageless?" asked Sanzo. She never saw the point in being immortal. What was the point?
"I see you're not an expert on women." said Lian. "We want to stay beautiful forever, Sanzo."
'Not all of us!' Sanzo inwardly grimaced.
"G-Great. But you're not fooling anyone, faggot." she sneered.
"Excuse me?" growled the youkai.
"Your makeup's pretty... thick. But not thick enough." Sanzo sneered. "You're absolutely vomit worthy." Suddenly Lian smacked Sanzo hard across the face.
"Take that back, Priest." she hissed. "You're in no position to throw around insults. I can kill you whenever I want!"
"Just g-get going." said Sanzo unfazed. "You're stuck in that ugly body for eternity. I'm not the loser here."
"H-How dare you!!" the demon growled as she began to hit her over and over. And all could do was lay there. As she beat her, a memory flooded into her mind.
//Flash Back//
"I don't think it's possible, master." Kouryuu told her master one night. "Thank you for the thought... But I'm not worthy to be a Sanzo Priest. And plus, I'm a girl. I'm not suppose to a monk, much less a Sanzo Priest." Kyoumyou bowed his head and said,
"Listen to me, Kouryuu. There never were ant criteria for becoming a Sanzo. It's been 13 years, but I think I see now. A Sanzo needs a strong body... But, more importantly, he needs a strong spirit." He then looked up at her and smiled. "It's time for you to be strong... Priest Genjyo Sanzo."
//End Flash Back//
'It was the last smile he ever made. And those words of his were the last he ever said. My priesthood was my Master's final wish. Kyoumyou Sanzo. My teacher. My father. The first person who ever loved me... The only one... He was the only Sanzo Priest I ever acknowledged. The fact that I now carry my master's name... Serves to remind me of my own fallibility.' she thought as she spat up a little blood.
"You're a cocky little bastard aren't you?" Lian said as she lifted Sanzo by her hair. "You're all the same in the end. There's no power in stupid humans reading sutras! What's so great about a Sanzo Priest?!" Sanzo suddenly chuckled.
"...Maybe you're right." she said quietly.
"You're nothing but food to me! Dinner's all you are--" The youkai started. She was cut off when Sanzo suddenly punched her. She fell to the ground.
"Wh-what? But you shouldn't be able to move!" she exclaimed.
"Your bitch slaps were enough to wear the drugs down." Sanzo spat. "You're right by the way. A Sanzo's nothing but a human. But humans are great killing, torture and all that good stuff." The yokai laughed.
"Forgetting something? I'm immortal, Sanzo. You can't kill me!" she said.
"Give me a break. You actually believe that stupid rumor?" asked Sanzo. "Anyone who thinks eating a human will make you ageless is a moron. I'm guessing you've never had any proof of your immortality." Suddenly Sanzo pulled out a gun. "Care to test that theory out?" She looked frightening right now. Like a Devil. Suddenly Lian looked scared.
"N-NO!" she screamed. Suddenly Sanzo shot her arm. "OW!" she cried.
"Look at that. I guess immortals can feel pain like the rest of us." said Sanzo in a way not like her at all. "If I hit your head or heart... I bet it'd hurt like hell."
"No! Please don't!" Lian begged. But Sanzo ignored her as she continued to shoot her.
'This is stupid.' she thought as she tortured the demon.
'This is really stupid.' she thought with a grin.
'But you know what? Who cares.'
Just then the door swung open to reveal Goku, Gojyo and Hakkai.
"What're you doin', Sanzo?!" yelled Goku. Then they noticed the tortured Yokai. Gojyo suddenly grabbed Sanzo's shoulder.
"Shit, man! Torture? This isn't like you!" he said.
"...Not like me...?" asked Sanzo. Then she looked up at Sanzo with a evil grin. "Then what is like me?" Gojyo stared in shock at her.
"What's that suppose to..." he started.
"Just what it sounded like. You know nothing about me! You don't know anything at all! I don't even know. For all you know, this is like me! This is exactly what I am. If this is not me... Then what pray tell is like me?" she asked coldly. Suddenly Goku walked towards them and kicked Sanzo in the shin.
"OW!" yelled Sanzo. "That hurt! What the hell are you ding?!"
"Hit me." said Goku. "Hit me with th' fan and call me stupid monkey. Okay? That's what Sanzo's like." Sanzo didn't say anything. She just turned and walked towards the yokai.
"You. Answer me something." she demanded, back to normal. "Where are you hiding the sutras? I want mine and I want the other Sanzo's. So get talking."
"Th-the Sutras?" said Lian as she shook from blood lost. "The old one's s-somewhere around the castle. Yours is in the chest. The one right behind you." Sanzo turned.
'There?' she thought. She turned and just then Gojyo yelled,
"Sanzo, watch it!" Just then the yokai stabbed her through with her claws. Sanzo's eyes widened as she coughed up blood.
"SANZO!" yelled Goku as he caught her as she fell forward. "Are you okay?! Hakkai, fix him!"
"Calm down, Gok--" Hakkai satrted. Then he found he couldn't heal Sanzo! "What?" The demon chuckled.
"Heh, heh. Do you like my scorpion claws?" she laughed. "The poison in them's fatal." Goku glared her.
"You... You stupid creep!"