OMAKE 03: Punishment - Part 1

Starring Gendo Ikari, Kozo Fuyutsuki, Rei Ayanami, Asuka Langley Sorhyu, Shinji Ikari, and Jack O'Neill Jr.

The four Evangelion pilots stood in the dark, depressing office of Gendo Ikari, all in hard, uncomfortable chairs. Rei sat there as emotionlessly as ever, Asuka was indignant, and Shinji was looking down at his feet next to Jack Jr., who was looking apprehensive.

"Why did you think it was a good idea to take the Stargate with you on this last mission?" The Commander of NERV asked flatly, barely restrained fury behind his eyes.

"Well…" Began Shinji.

"HEY! It got the job done, right?" Asuka asked flatly. "Right, Baka?"

"Right," replied both Shinji and Jack, who then blinked and looked over at the red head.

"Which one did you mean?" Jack asked.

"Yeah… You call us both Baka…" Asuka glowered.

"And that means it doesn't matter who I call what, huh?"

"Rei. Why did you take the Stargate with you?" Gendo asked, effectively silencing everyone else.

"I believe the idea arose when Pilot O'Neill speculated on the feasibility of using an Evangelion umbilical cable as a jump rope," Rei answered truthfully. "From there, the hypothetical discussion between Pilots Sorhyu, Ikari, O'Neill, and myself progressed to what items could be used in the proper scale while operating within their Eva units, to substitute for human-sized objects."

Gendo stared at the pilots. The pilots (except for Rei) looked elsewhere. The blunette continued.

"Among the substitutions suggested were public buses for roller skates, a train for the martial arts weapon nunchuks, the public reservoir for a bathtub, a 'jumbotron' for a TV, the cables from a suspension bridge for strings for an instrument, such as a violin-"

"Enough. I get the idea." Gendo assumed his trademark pose, and looked over the four pilots speculatively.

"Who came up with the Stargate as a Frisbee?"

"I did, Commander," Rei volunteered. Gendo blinked.

"… You did."

"Yes. I noted that the shaping of the Stargate would facilitate it's effective use as an Evangelion-sized recreational flying discus analog."

Gendo blinked, before blinking again. Rei blinked back. The other pilots watched Rei and Gendo stare back and forth at each other, while Fuyutsuki hid a grin behind his gloved hand.

"… Very well. You are all dismissed." The four pilots got up and headed out. With the closed door, Gendo sighed deeply, while Fuyutsuki let go of his chuckle.

"So Ikari, what are you going to do in regards to this 'incident'? Think the old men won't be amused?" The former college professor asked, still grinning. Gendo groaned.

"I'd be more disturbed if they were…"

OMAKE 04: Punishment - Part 2

Starring the lovable members of SEELE

Elsewhere, the twelve members of SEELE reviewed the footage of the latest 'battle' between NERV and the Angels.

"Ayanami, pass me the Frisbee!" Unit 00 brought the Stargate back in it's powerful right arm, and threw it at Unit 04. The spinning gateway to the stars overshot the American Eva's outstretched hands, before ramming with an audible crunch into the bright red core of the Angel, which had been sneaking up behind the four Evas while they had enjoyed their game.

"… Uh… My bad?" Offered the pilot of 04.

"I was the one who threw the discus, Pilot O'Neill. I believe it would be my bad, in this case," responded Unit 00's pilot.

"Feh. Wondergirl never does do anything right, unless she's ordered to," scoffed the pilot of Unit 02.

"Hey! Don't talk about her that way!" Argued Unit 01's pilot, which produced a laugh from 04.

"Aw, isn't that sweet… Shinji, sticking up for his girlfriend." Stammering ensued from 01.

"She-She's not my girlfriend!"

"Denial is not a river in Egypt, Shinji," observed 04's pilot.

"… What?"

"It means you're obvious, baka! You've got the hots for Wonderdoll! It's all over your face!" Cackled the Second Child.

"It-It is not! Shut up!"

"Oh, so cute-He's blushing! Hey Red? Help me out here… Ahem. Shinji and Rei, sitting in a tree-" Began the Fourth Child.

"K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Answered the Second.

"Agh! Shut up! Quit it!"

"First comes love, then comes marriage," continued the Fourth and Second Children, "then comes Shinji with the baby carriage!" Unit 01 began to chase Unit 02 and 04, as the pilots of those Evas laughed and continued singing.

"Hey! Quit it! It's not true! Ayanami, help me out here!"

Ayanami made no response, but the live feed from her cockpit as her Eva pulled the Stargate from the Angel's core revealed the unthinkable-She was blushing with a small smile on her face, obviously thinking no one could see.

The SEELE members finally lost the battle against their laughter, breaking out into snickers, chuckles, and giggles at the extremely odd spectacle they'd just witnessed.

"It appears… That the scenarios will have to be modified somewhat from now on," SEELE 01 noted after getting his giggles under control.

"Bah… Let them have their fun. It's been a while since I had something to laugh at…" SEELE 03 scoffed.

"Hey. Haven't the pilots entered the locker rooms now?" Asked SEELE 05.

"FOOL! SWITCH TO LIVE FEED!" Ordered SEELE 01. Which locker room they were watching was anyone's guess…