Disclaimer: Do I ever own anything?
Summery: What if Sanzo was actually a woman? How long will she able to keep it a secret? And how will the others react when they find out? Read what it would be like if Sanzo was actually a woman!
Pairing: Sanzo x Just about everyone
Note: This is just going to be the basic original story in the books, with a few minor changes.
♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♀♂♀♂♀
The Sanzo party continued their journey west, with one less member of their team. Goku stared at the sky.
"...Hey." he said after a long silence. "I'm hung--" he started.
"Silence." Sanzo said before he could finish.
"Hey! I wasn't done talkin'!" whined Goku.
"And yet my ears are already exhausted." replied Sanzo.
"Don't worry, Goku. We'll reach a town before long." Hakkai assured him. Goku sighed and flopped into the backseat. He stared into the sky.
"So vast and empty..." he said as he remembered what happened after Hakkai told him Gojyo was gone.
//Flash Back//
"Gojyo's gone?" asked Sanzo after Hakkai had just informed her and Goku.
"Maybe he's just in th' bathroom or somethin'." said Goku being optimistic.
"I'm sorry, Goku." said Hakkai. "I don't think that's the case." Sanzo was quiet.
"Hang on! He didn't go after that crazy guy, did he?!" exclaimed Goku worriedly.
"One can only assume." said Hakkai. He turned to Sanzo. "I need your opinion on this, Sanzo. What should we do?" Sanzo was quiet, then replied,
"I couldn't care less. We're still leaving this afternoon."
"I thought as much." said Hakkai.
"Wha?!" exclaimed Goku. "You really mean that?! We'd be leavin' Gojyo behind!"
"Goku." Sanzo said sharply. "Maybe you forgot what I said yesterday. When I said no more setbacks, I mean no more setbacks."
"But--" Goku started.
"Gojyo decisions do not concern me." Sanzo cut him off sharply. "Can you grasp that? Or would you rather go keep his sorry ass company?"
//End Flash Back//
The remaining Sanzo party entered the next town.
"This town seems peaceful enough." said Hakkai.
"Mm." was all Sanzo said. Dammit. What was wrong with her? She wasn't having her period, so what was wrong?
"Now all we need is--"Hakkai started just as Goku cheered,
"Woo! Takoyaki stand, Takoyaki– ACK." He started to run towards the stand, but Sanzo stopped him by whacking his face with her fan.
"Behave yourself, dimwit." she told him.
"Oooow! That hurt more'n usual!" complained Goku.
"You're imagining things." said Sanzo.
"Liar! It hurt twice as bad!" Sanzo stared at him, then sighed.
"...Fine. Hakkai, I'm going to go feed him something." she told Hakkai as Goku cheered.
"By all means." said Hakkai as they left. Now he was all alone. "There no avoiding some chores, is there?" he sighed. "Gojyo, would you mind carrying--" Then he remembered no one was there. "Ah. Never mind." he said.
"Need a hand?" someone suddenly asked. Hakkai turned and saw a young boy around Goku's age with short black hair and silver eyes.
"Oh... Yes. Thank you. And you are?" Hakkai asked.
"Don't recognize me, Hakkai? Oh, well I guess you don't now that I think about it. It's me. Tsuki Yami." said Tsuki as he jabbed his thumb at himself. Hakkai's eyes widened.
"Ts-Ts-Tsuki?! B-but I thought you were a woman!" he exclaimed.
"Well, half time I am. Sometimes I'm a woman, sometimes I'm a man, and sometimes I'm even a cat." said Tsuki as he took some bags from Hakkai. "Lemme help you with those."
"O-oh... I see." said Hakkai nervously with a sweat drop.
"Surprised? I told you I was the master of disguise." said Tsuki with a wink. "Now where are you guys staying? I'm not going to stand here all day."
"Oh. Yes... Um, this way." said Hakkai awkwardly as he led the way. Tsuki followed him.
"...So how's Sanzo lately?" he asked after a few minutes.
"Hm? Oh, he's, er, she's fine. Just a bit more moody since Gojyo left." answered Hakkai.
"I see." was all Tsuki said.
//Later//
"Nyaaaa. My guts're all stuffed up!" said Goku with a satisfied sigh. "It's been forever since we ate so good." Hakkai laughed as he sipped his tea. After Tsuki had helped him with the bags, he had left.
"I guess it's because you don't have any competition." he said. They all went quiet.
"Ya just reminded me, Hakkai." said Goku suddenly. "Whaddya think happened to Kougaiji?"
"Well, he said he was collecting Sutras. Didn't he?" said Hakkai. "And I suppose if that 'Kami-sama' is a real Sanzo Priest... He should be carrying a sutra as well." Sanzo hand her hand to her chin.
"There are five Tenchi Kaigen Scriptures. I inherited two of them. The other Sanzo Priest we heard about was eaten by that youkai in the desert." she said. "Which means that, besides me... There are one or two other Sanzos out there."
"Ya don't know th' other ones?" asked Goku as he and Hakkai looked over at her.
"Isn't there a 'Sanzo Union' or something?" asked Hakkai.
"No." said Sanzo with a anime vein.
'But that reminds me. It was ten years ago, back at Kinzan temple. Another Sanzo came to visit. He had come to meet with my master, I think. The only thing I really remember is his cruel, twisted mouth. And that he... he...wait.' she thought.
"Sanzo?" said Hakkai bringing Sanzo out of her thoughts. "Are you all right?"
"Huh? Oh. Yeah." she replied.
'What the hell was that? I almost remembered something. There was a reason I didn't like that priest.' she thought as she pulled out a smoke. She dug in her robes for a lighter, but couldn't find one.
"...Oi. Somebody give me a light." she said. Then she realized that nether of the other two smoked, so they wouldn't have a smoke. She took her cigarette out of her mouth broke it. "...Shit." she cursed. Then she stood and left the room.
She went upstairs to the room she was staying in.
"Need a light?" said Tsuki as he sat on one of the beds. Sanzo looked at him, then 'ch'ed as she sat at the end of the bed he was sitting on.
"I get rid of one nuisance only to get another." she said as she grabbed the lighter he was holding out.
"Don't be mean!" pouted Tsuki cutely. "I'm worried about you."
"Why? I'm fine, aren't I?" asked Sanzo. Tsuki looked a little sad as he pulled his legs to his chest.
"Maybe I shouldn't have told you. I should have kept it to myself." he said sadly.
//Flash Back//
That night Tsuki was disguised as a woman with short red hair and violet eyes.
"Sanzo... There's something I want to tell you, but... I'm not exactly sure I should." he said.
"What? Just say it already." said Sanzo impatiently.
"Well, I would, but I don't want you to take it as a threat or anything like that." said Tsuki. Sanzo gave a irritated sigh.
"Just spit it out. If you wanted to kill me, you would have already. God knows you've had plenty of chances. I know you pretty well by now and I know you would never do anything to intentionally hurt me on purpose. So just spit it out already." she said. Tsuki stared at her surprised. It was like she had just said, 'I trust you'. He smiled.
"Okay." he took a deep breath. "Sanzo, I don't know how to put this gently, so I'm just going to say it. Sanzo... You're going to die really soon." Sanzo stared at him. "Now before you get mad, let me explain! I can't tell you exactly how I know, but I can tell when someone's going to die, and pretty soon you're going to die. I'm sorry, Sanzo. I really am! I tried to find a way to prevent it, I really did everything I could... But there's nothing I can do. I tried but... I'm so sorry." Sanzo turned away from him as her eyes shadowed.
"...How long do I have?" she asked.
"Until the eclipse. That's 15 months away from now. I'm really sorry, Sanzo. I tried everything, but..." Tsuki trailed off looking as if he was about to cry.
"How?"
"Huh?"
"How am I going to die?" Tsuki looked away.
"I can't tell you. It's forbidden." he said.
"So that's it then?" said Sanzo as she began to shake. "I'm just going to die? And there's nothing I can do about it? Nothing at all?" She knew Tsuki wasn't lying. It was just too cruel to be a joke. And Tsuki would never lie about something like this. Tsuki looked away looking so sad it made even Sanzo want to cry.
"No. I... Looked and studied everything I knew but... But..." he clenched his fists so tight they began to bleed from his nails digging into his hands. Sanzo looked at him and sighed.
"Look. It's fine. It just means I'm going to have complete this mission before the eclipse. Stop that. You're hurting yourself." she said as she walked over to him. "Have you told anyone else?"
"No..."
"Good. Keep it that way." said Sanzo. "I don't want them to know, got it?"
//End Flashback//
Sanzo let out a breath of smoke.
"Look. I told you it's fine. It means I can't let myself get distracted anymore." she told him. "I will complete this mission." Tsuki stared at the floor.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you. I don't know what I was thinking. It's just..." he trailed.
'I was so scared when I heard you were going to die. And I was so sad when I found there was nothing I could do. So like a child I ran to you, hoping you would tell me everything was okay. Even though you were going to be the one to suffer. I'm such an idiot.' he thought. Sanzo glanced at him, then put a hand on his shoulder. Then she whacked the back of his head with her fan. "OW!"
"Stop obsessing. I told you it was fine. If I have to tell you one more time, I'll kill you." she said. "You said I have 15 months. That just means I'm going to have to not waste anymore time. That's all. All humans die eventually. That's why they have to live everyday to the fullest. I'm human as well, so I could die any day now as well. But unlike most humans, I know exactly when I'm going to die, so I can make plans and all. Everything's going to be fine so don't worry about it." she told him. Tsuki blinked at her, then smiled a little.
"Yeah. I guess you're right. Everything's going to be fine." he said, even though he wasn't sure.
//Later//
Tsuki had left when the other two had entered the room. So now, Sanzo and Hakkai were making plans.
"How about this? The route is outlined here. It seems we've traveled about half of it." said Hakkai. "If all goes well, it won't be long before we reach India."
"Fine." said Sanzo as she read the paper. "Assuming we can avoid any more painfully unnecessary detours." Hakkai stared at her.
"'Fine.' I wonder." he said.
"Wha?" said Sanzo as she looked at him.
"Oh, nothing. But really, Sanzo." said Hakkai as he fanned the air. "Your smoking is getting out of hand. You're turning our breathing air white."
"Then open a window and leave me alone." retorted Sanzo. Hakkai stared at her. "How about a refill?" she said as she held up her cup. Hakkai slammed a whole jug of coffee in front of her.
"Help yourself." he said pleasantly. Sanzo glared at him.
"...Dam it all to hell." she growled. "If there's something you want to say--" she started. Just then Goku cried in pain.
"What the heck're you doin'?! Stoppit, Jeep!" he yelled at a upset jeep.
"What's going on here?" asked Hakkai as Hakuryu flew to him.
"I was playin' with him and he bit me!" whined Goku.
"You can't just interrupt his sleep, Goku– It upsets him." said Hakkai. Goku looked at him as he hugged a pillow.
"Man. But I'm bored." he said. "An' everyone's gettin' all weird. Sanzo! Do we really--"
"Can it." interrupted Sanzo. "Another inane word out of you and you're dead." But Goku continued.
"I know there's more room in Jeep now... But it still feels smaller, y'know?"
"If you want my attention, make some goddamn sense." Sanzo hissed.
"Hey! I'm just sayin' that--" Goku started.
"Come now, Goku. Don't lose your temper." said Hakkai. "And Sanzo please stop taking your frustrations out on Goku."
"Frustration?" repeated Sanzo. She was not taking her frustrations out on Goku! She had Tsuki for that!
"Or haven't you noticed?" asked Hakkai. "You're smoking 3 times as much as usual, and the wrinkles between your eyes are deeper."
"See? Even Hakkai thinks you're weird!" cried Goku.
"I wouldn't call it 'weird.'" said Hakkai. "We have a real problem on our hands. The closer we get to India, the greater the Danger we're in. Even I wonder how we made it here without a quarter of our party." Sanzo let out a evil chuckle.
"You're the one with the frustrations. Get real, Hakkai." she sneered. "If you're so damn concerned, you might as well jump ship like your pal. Unless that's not it. Maybe you're mad at yourself for knowing he'd go and still letting him?" Hakkai had a very dark aura.
"...I'm worried out of my mind, Sanzo. And you dare talk to me like that?" he said with anime veins.
"Uh... Hakkai?" said a frighten Goku.
"I don't remember asking you to care." said Sanzo as she blew out some smoke.
"Fine! Think what you will! I'm not trying to take sides here– What do you want me to do?!" yelled Hakkai. "You know we can accomplish this mission with one or two people!"
"I already said I'm not asking for your help!" yelled Sanzo. "And why should I give a damn about someone who'd up and leave?!"
"Tell us the truth for once, Sanzo!" yelled Hakkai. "You're worried about Kami-sama, aren't you?!"
"Don't put words in my mouth!" snarled Sanzo. "You and the junior high Newspaper committee can go screw yourselfs!"
"Quit it, guys! I'm not done talkin'!" yelled Goku. "If we go back and look for Gojyo, it won't be like this anymore!"
"I never want to hear that name again! Can't you get that through your thick skull, monkey?" she snapped.
"Just listen to me!" Goku yelled as he threw a pillow in her face. When the pillow slid off her face, she looked like a angry lion. "Uh... wh-whoops?" said a frighten Goku as Hakkai laughed.
Just then the windows all shattered and demons attacked.
"We finally found you, ya dirty priest." said one of them. "We're under direct orders from Lady Gyokumen Koushu! Prepare to hand over the sutra and die a miserable--" Suddenly Sanzo shot two of them without warning. The rest of the demons squealed in fear.
"...Hmph. This is imbecilic." she said in deathly voice. "You know what I just realized? This all started because that shit for brains bailed on us."
"Indeed." agreed Hakkai looking just as frightened.
"Man, now I'm gettin' mad!" said Goku. "That... That..."
"Goddamn Stupid Kappa!" they all yelled as they started slaughtering the demons.
"Argh! Who's the moron who said this'd be easier because they're missing one?!" one of the demons yelled.
"Don't look at me!"
"Hakkai, Goku!" yelled Sanzo. "We're cleaning up this mess and then back tracking again!"
"I agree!" yelled Hakkai.
"We're going to find that son of a bitch... so I can blow his brains out!"
Outside, Tsuki was watching from a tree with a sweat drop.
"Ooh... I'd hate to be Gojyo when those three find him." he said.
♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♀♂♀♂♀
Okay, big surprise, huh? Sanzo's going to die soon. I thought this would be more exciting for later.
Tsuki: You're just mean!
GWNL: Zip it!
Pole results so far are:
Goku-6
Hakkai-4
Gojyo- 8
Kougaiji-3
Tsuki- 6
Tsuki: Ha! And you said no body liked me!
GWNL: Okay, I was wrong! But everyone seems to like Gojyo better.
Gojyo: Ha! Take that!
Sanzo: There's no way I'd want to be paired with him!
GWNL: That's for the readers to decide.
Merry X-Mas!