Disclaimer: Do I ever own anything?
Summery: What if Sanzo was actually a woman? How long will she able to keep it a secret? And how will the others react when they find out? Read what it would be like if Sanzo was actually a woman!
Pairing: Sanzo x Just about everyone
Note: This is just going to be the basic original story in the books, with a few minor changes.
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"After all... People like you shouldn't be monks."
"And what the hell is that suppose to mean?!" snarled Goku. Kami-sama blinked.
"You don't know? You really don't know, that's so funny!" he laughed. "You should see your friend for what she really is!" Just then a string of prayer beads attacked Sanzo and... tore off her clothes, so now she was only wearing her undergarments(A/N: That sick Pervert!!)! Sanzo immediately turned redder than Gojyo's hair as the boys all stared.
Goku and Gojyo's eyes were wider than saucer plates as they stared.
"HOLY SHIT!!!!" cried Gojyo as he pointed, his hair standing like a cats. "He's a...! He's a...!"
"OH MY GOD!! HE'S A WOMAN!!" yelled Goku as he pointed and stared. Mainly stared.
"Now, now you two..." said Hakkai, who was blushing. "It's not polite to point and stare."
"You don't seem too shocked, Hakkai!" yelled Gojyo.
"Well, I've actually known Sanzo was a woman for a while now." said Hakkai. Sanzo, who was instinctedly covering her bandaged chest, continued to blush violently.
"You knew!!" yelled Goku as he now started to blush, finally calculating that a half naked woman was in front of him. "What other secrets have you kept from us?!"
"Yeah, how bout you let us in on the secrets next time, huh?!" yelled Gojyo, also blushing. He had a hot gorgeous woman traveling with him and he never knew?!
"Can we talk about this later after we kill that sick bastard over there?!" Sanzo growled. Kami-sama was so gonna die!
"Yes, this conversation can wait until later." said Hakkai as he handed Sanzo the green part of his shirt to cover herself up. Sanzo took it and slipped it on. She then turned to Kami-sama with demonic glare.
"You are so dead!" she growled as she shot at him. Kami-sama dodged.
"Ha, ha! Ooh, the pretty lady's mad now! Does that mean I'm right?" he laughed.
"Eat this!" Goku yelled as he attacked. But Kami-sama dodged, so he hit the wall, putting a big hole in it.
"Wow. I'm glad I dodged that." said Kami-sama as he appeared behind Goku.
"Goku, get down!" Hakkai yelled. Goku ducked and Hakkai released a chi blat that destroyed the wall. Kami-sama landed on a piece of rubble.
"Darn. I hope you're plan on paying for that." he pouted childishly.
"Stop running, you pussy!" yelled Gojyo.
"That's not very fair– You're fighting me four on one." said Kami- sama pretending to be scared.
"Quit talkin' an show us what ya got!" yelled Goku as they all charged forward. "We wanna real fight!" Kami-sama smirked.
"I guess I'd better. But just a little, okay?" He something appear in his hand(what is it called? Oh well. If you've read the book, you sa know what it is.), and then prayer beads shot like bullets at the Sanzo party, shooting right through them.
Sanzo's eyes widen as she, and everyone else, fell back.
'What just...?' she wondered as she hit the ground, bleeding badly. She began to cough up blood now.
"There." said Kami-sama as he bounced his weapons. "Are you happy now?" Goku screamed in pain as he held his leg. "Oh, boy. There must still be a bead inside you. You poor thing." Kami-sama walked over to Goku and reach in his leg. Goku's eyes widened in pain as he began to scream.
"Goku...!" gasped Sanzo.
"There– I got it!" said Kami-sama cheerfully as he held a bead. He stood. "Did you think you could win if you attacked me together? I feel bad for weak people who think they're strong."
'Dammit– I can't move. Sick bastard must have aimed for the joints.' Sanzo thought with a curse as she tried to move. Kami- sama continued as he walked over to half dressed Sanzo.
"I'm guessing that's the way you are. You know– Rushing into things like you have a chance." he said. "Hey. Do you know what muichimotsu is?"
Sanzo's eyes widened.
"My Sensei told me about it. 'If you meet the Buddha, kill him. If you meet the patriarchs, kill them. Free of all, bound by nothing...' Have you heard of that? It means you should keep from getting trapped by desires." said Kami-sama. "I think you're all too attached. You want to live... and you want to win. Don't you know that when a person goes into battle they have to be ready to lose everything? That's what I mean." Suddenly Kami-sama snatched Sanzo's scripture off her shoulders. "You're a bad priest. The title of Sanzo's not for little girls like you." Sanzo's eyes widened and she brought up her gun, but Kami-sama did a upper kick. She fell back. "I bet it's weird for you. Dying in a place like this, I mean." he said as he placed her sutra over his shoulders. "Everyone's like that. They think they're ready for death... But when it comes, they still resist. I bet you don't want to die. What a pathetic way to go. Although..." suddenly he had some beads wrap around Sanzo's wrists and lifted her up. "You're such a pretty thing. Too pretty to go to waste. I really think you'll be such a pretty toy." He pulled her face close and...(A/N: The readers are going to kill me!)kissed her, hard on the lips(Readers: WHAT?!?!?! Noooo!! Damn him!!!). Sanzo's eyes widen as she felt her lips being bruised.
Gojyo's weapon suddenly sliced the beads that were holding Sanzo up, then it wrapped around Kami-sama's leg and threw him into a wall. Sanzo fell to the ground, unconscious.
"G-Go to hell... You piss drinking fuck." Gojyo gasped as he shakily stood.
"Whoa– You surprised me! I guess really can't underestimate an insect's will to live. Cool." said Kami-sama, who wasn't even scratched. He grabbed the chain. "But I'm sure it was all you could do to get up." He said a spell and the chain wrapped around Gojyo's arm and pulled him to the ground hard. "You should've gone to sleep like a good boy. Don't you think?" Kami-sama said as Gojyo coughed up some blood. "'Bad children must be punished.'" Gojyo pushed himself up with a growl.
"Son of a--"
"Hey!" Kami-sama suddenly yelled. Gojyo looked up and saw Hakuryu attacking Kami-sama! "Ow! What the heck is– OW!" Kami sama yelled as Jeep scratched at him.
"Jeep?!" exclaimed Gojyo. "Jeep, transform!" Then he grabbed Goku and Hakkai and dragged them over to Jeep, who had just transformed.
"What do you think you're doing?" Kami-sama asked as Gojyo lifted Sanzo in his arms.
"What's it look like, asshole?!" he growled as He jumped in the driver's seat after setting Sanzo in her seat. "I'm running the hell away!" Then he drove out past Kami-sama, out the doors. Kami-sama followed them.
"No fair!" he yelled. Suddenly Hakkai woke up and sent a chi blast at him.
"Hakkai!" yelled Gojyo.
"K-keep driving!"Hakkai gasped as he held onto the side. As they drove, they heard Kami-sama's laugh echo around them.
"Scaredy cats!" he laughed after them. "You scaredy cats!"
//Four Days Later//
Gojyo kept flickering his lighter. His wounds were all bandaged up, but he still felt like shit.
"Are you feeling any better?" the bar keep asked as he entered the room.
"Hi, barkeep." greeted Gojyo.
"You should get some rest, you know." the barkeep told him. "You lost a lot of blood."
"I'll live. By the way, sorry for all the trouble. This was the only place open late." said Gojyo.
"Heh. I'll admit I was scared when you all came in all bloody. But make yourselves at home. Since you knocked out those hoodlums the other day, our town's been rather peaceful." said the barkeep. Then he looked over at Sanzo, who was laying in bed in the other room, wearing only a long white shirt. "Still though... I'm worried about your blond friend. She's been out for four days now. I know she need to rest... But the doctor said if she doesn't wake up tonight..."
"That's not very good news." said Hakkai from the other bed. "I wished I could have helped sooner. Unfortunately, my condition wouldn't have permitted that."
"Your healing powers uses up too much of your chi. Use it when you're injured and it'll kill you." Gojyo told him. Then Hakkai noticed Goku wasn't there.
"How is Goku?" he asked. Gojyo ran a hand through his hair.
"Pissed. Worse than ether of us." he replied. "The little dingbat won't let us treat him. And when we touched him, he freaked and lashed out. He won't even eat or talk. How's that for taking it hard?"
"He's reacting like a wounded animal." said Hakkai as he petted Jeep. "Goku's always been strong. Perhaps he's never experienced absolute defeat before."
"Absolute. Y'think?" said Gojyo.
"We really lost, Gojyo. Really." said Hakkai. Gojyo was quiet, then said,
"Yeah, well. I think he's more angry about the fact that Sanzo's a woman. You know how he feels about secrets and Sanzo kept the biggest one of all from us. And you knew. Why didn't you tell us?"
"Gojyo..." Hakkai started. Just then Sanzo's scream pierced the air.
"What's that noise?" asked Gojyo, barely recognizing Sanzo's screams for it was in her female voice.
He ran to her room and saw her thrashing violently.
"Sanzo?! Hey, what's wrong?!" Gojyo asked as he entered the room. Sanzo just continued to thrash as she screamed in agony. "Damn! I think it's a nightmare. Calm down, man!" Gojyo yelled as he pinned her down.
"Hold her down! I'll get a sedative!" the barkeep said as he left the room. Sanzo continued to scream.
"Shit! Where the hell's that monkey?!" growled Gojyo. "He should be here!" Just then Hakkai ran in.
"What's wrong with Sanzo?" he asked.
"Hakkai? S-She's fine– Just go to bed." Gojyo lied as Sanzo continued to thrash. Hakkai stared at Sanzo sadly.
"...Maybe it's not the wounds she's suffering from. You know Sanzo." he said. Gojyo stared down at Sanzo's thrashing form.
"...No. No I don't." he said.
//Dream//
"Kouryuu. Come over here." Koumyou beaconed. Kouryuu, walked over to her master and his friend. "This is Priest Sanzo, an old friend of mine. He's brought his young disciple with him." A kid with short yellow hair and blue eyes stepped forward holding a doll. He held it out to her. She took it. Suddenly it's head fell off and it became Koumyou's.
"Wh-wha..." she gasped as her hands suddenly became drenched in blood.
"Aw. It broke." said Kami-sama in her ear as he touched her head. "If you stay weak, everyone will die." Suddenly she became surrounded by Goku, Gojyo, and Hakkai, who were dead. "The title of Sanzo's not for people like you." Kami-sama said as he ripped the scripture off her shoulders. Sanzo whipped around to shoot him, but instead she founf that she had shot her master. His blood splattered on her face. Kami-sama's laugh echoed around her as she suddenly found herself on a battle field of corpses. A further ways she saw a man with long purple hair, nailed to a black cross and tied with barb wire. She couldn't see the man's face, but she felt as if she knew him.
Suddenly a woman with golden eyes appeared next to her.
"You called me a beast, but you have killed too. For every ounce of blood that stains my hands there are ten on yours! You live off the blood of others! The only reason you are here now is because you let others die in your place! What are you Genjyo Sanzo? Hm? Human? Ha! That's funny! Really funny! No human would kill as much as you do without any compassion! Nor would they sacrifice as many as you."
"Shut up!" Sanzo yelled as she shook violently and covered her ears, trying to block out the woman's words. Her words... They seemed to be stabbing her like daggers. She knew the woman, and yet... The woman continued.
"Kenren, Tenpou, Koumyou Sanzo, Shuei... Who next of your so called 'friends' will be sacrificed because of you? How many will die... Because of you?" she asked. Sanzo froze where she was not knowing what to say. The woman smirked as she hugged Sanzo from behind.
"And what about him?" she said, motioning to the man on the cross. "He has suffered so much because of you. And he is still suffering because of you. And you don't even remember him." Suddenly a shadowed man began to whip the man on the cross and he began to scream in pain and agony.
"NOOOO!!!" Sanzo screamed as she fell to her knees and covered her ears. "STOOOOOOOOP IIIIIIIIIT!!!"
"It's all your fault!!"
"NO!"
//End dream//
Sanzo shot up in bed, sweating and panting. She took a breath and then she started to crawl. Gojyo, who heard her awake, woke up.
"Hey. What're you doing?" he asked she shakily got out of bed.
"...Going." Sanzo said as she forced herself to stand. "H-He took... what's mine." Gojyo continued to smoke, not really looking at her.
"Hunh. Fine, then– Go." he said. "If you can, that is." Suddenly Sanzo fell to the floor. She tried to get up again, but she couldn't. She then tried to crawl, but it was hard. Finally her body couldn't take it anymore. She passed out. Gojyo walked over to her, and picked her up and took her to her bed. Then he slid down the side.
"Damn. Just... Please?" he said almost crying.
//Meanwhile//
Goku sat in a alley, trying to hide from the moonlight. He didn't know why, but it seemed to be mocking him, and he hated it.
"You are so pathetic." a voice chuckled. He turned his head and saw a man with short black hair and sliver eyes. "What's wrong? You look like a wounded animal. Oh, wait. You are a wounded animal."
"Shut up! Just who the hell are you?!" snarled Goku. The boy looked thoughtful.
"Hm... Who indeed. Maybe I'm a angel. Maybe I'm god. Or maybe I'm human. Or perhaps... a ghost. Who knows?" he said. Goku growled.
"What do you want?!"
"To laugh at a weakling like you. You really are pathetic, I mean look at you. I'll admit, I've seen worse, but still."
"Shut up! What do you know?!" snarled Goku.
"That you're a stupid monkey, who's throwing a fit because his girlfriend kept a big secret from him, and he got his butt beat by a psycho freak." smirked the man.
"It's not like that at all!!" yelled Goku.
"Then how is it?" Goku was quiet and the man smirked. "How pathetic. These are the people who are suppose to stop Gyumaoh? Ha! You can't even beat a psychotic freak! How can you beat a demon lord?"
"Shut up! So what if lost one fight?!" yelled Goku. "We just have to get up and try again! And maybe try something a little different! But the only way we'll really lose, is if we give up!" The man smirked.
"Oh, really? But your friends have already given up. And how can Sanzo fight him? She's only a girl."
"So what?! She's still Sanzo! And Sanzo's always been strong! Boy or girl, she'll always be strong!" Goku yelled. The man continued to smile.
"But... she's already given up. And it's easy to win against those who have already given up."
"Then I'll just have to change that!" said Goku.
"Can you do that?" asked the man.
"You bet." smirked Goku. The man smiled.
"Well. We'll just have to wait and see, won't we?" Then he turned and walked into the shadows. Goku turned and punched the wall.
"Got it." he said.
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This one was no fun at all. No funny parts really.
And just for the poll thingy, I would just like you all to know that...
I DON'T CARE WHO SANZO ENDS UP WITH!!
I like Goku, because he's cute and innocent and when you think about it technically, he older than Sanzo. And if you guys have a problem with him being a kid, I can make him more mature people.
I like Gojyo because he and Sanzo are funny together.
I like Hakkai, because he seems to understand Sanzo.
And I like Tsuki because I have to. I created him(LOL). And because he really loves Sanzo and seems to understand her. He also completes her. He's all fun and San-chan's no fun at all.
Okay, and the polls are now:
Goku-12
Hakkai-8
Gojyo- 12
Kougaiji-5
Tsuki- 7
And no one vote twice! One vote per person!