Happy NEW YEAR!!
Disclaimer: Do I ever own anything?
Summery: What if Sanzo was actually a woman? How long will she able to keep it a secret? And how will the others react when they find out? Read what it would be like if Sanzo was actually a woman!
Pairing: Sanzo x Just about everyone
Note: This is just going to be the basic original story in the books, with a few minor changes.
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Sanzo laid in bed unconscious while Hakkai and Gojyo stared at her.
"...Gojyo." said Hakkai after a long silence. "Why don't you rest a bit? You haven't slept since last night."
"Sleep? Gimme a break." said Gojyo as he ran a hand through his hair. "I'm afraid if I go to sleep I'll wake up surrounded by the living dead. I couldn't sleep if I tried. Besides, there's no way I can sleep with a beautiful woman just a few feet away." Hakkai was just silent as they both stared at Sanzo.
"Hunh. I wonder what happened now." said Gojyo as he ripped his cigarette carten.
"I know how you feel. I suppose that initially we could have just ignored 'Kami-sama' and continued on our way." said Hakkai. "But now he's taken Sanzo's sutra. We can't let that lie. I'm far more worried about Sanzo than us."
"Damn. I feel like such a pussy for running away." said Gojyo.
"I agree it wasn't optimal. I'd tear him apart and feed him to the dogs if I could." said Hakkai. "But let's be realists, Gojyo. If we honestly evaluate the power he controls... We cannot beat that man."
"Maybe not." said Gojyo. "But we're going again anyway, right?"
"Well. There's no way around it, really." said Hakkai.
"Huzzah! We'll go down like men and leave pretty corpses." said Gojyo as he threw the carten pieces in the air.
"Take your asses down a notch." said Sanzo suddenly as she sat up. "This is my problem. I don't want your dirty fingers in it."
"You aren't exactly one to complain of conceit, Sanzo." said Hakkai.
"Damn straight. We've come this far; Who care whose problem– Hey! Siddown and listen, Moron!" Gojyo said as he grabbed Sanzo's wrist.
"Eat shit and die!" Sanzo growled. Gojyo gritted his teeth.
"Then try and kill me, asshole!" he yelled as he punched Sanzo across the face. Sanzo, in her weak condition, fell back a little.
"Gojyo!" yelled Hakkai as he grabbed Gojyo's shoulder.
"Forget her, Hakkai– Girl or not, the Holy prick doesn't know when to quit. She's useless to us if she's lost her goddamn mind." Gojyo yelled. Sanzo suddenly jumped back up and puched Gojyo in the gut.
"Try saying that again." she hissed.
"I'll s-say it 'til your ears bleed." Gojyo growled. "I'm not afraid of some pansy-ass Priest who passes empty threats." Suddenly Sanzo tackled Gojyo to the ground.
"Sanzo!" yelled Hakkai. "You're in no condition to do this. Sanzo?! Stop it right now! San--"
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Sanzo snarled. Just then Goku threw the door open. They all stopped fighting and looked at him.
"Goku... Where've you been?" asked Gojyo. Suddenly Goku set up a mahjong board.
"I wanna play Mahjong." he said. The others looked at him like he was nuts.
"But... Grah! Why the hell would we--" Gojyo started.
"All right." interrupted Hakkai. "I'll take this side."
"Hakkai!"
"You too, Gojyo."
"Wha?! Are you insane? Don't deadpan me! What's wrong with you?!" Gojyo yelled. Hakkai gave Gojyo a warning look. Gojyo then sat down with a growl.
"C'mon, Sanzo." said Goku, not really looking at her.
"Like hell." she growled as she held her shoulder. "You're blocking the door. Move it."
"Oh my. It must have been such torture for you to accompany us this far." said Hakkai. Sanzo growled.
"You bastard..." She tried to walk away, but Gojyo grabbed her and pulled her down.
"If I play, I'm takin' you with me." he said.
"Hands off! Unless you want me to rip out your--"
"Time ta start." interrupted Goku. "Can I be th' chiicha?"
"Sure, if you'd like." said Hakkai. Sanzo put a hand to her head.
"...And I'm left talking to a brick wall." she growled.
"Wow. It's been a long time, hasn't it?" said Hakkai as he set up his tiles.
"Hey. What's in your brain this time, monkey?" asked Gojyo.
"Huh? Nothin'." said Goku actually looking serious. They played for awhile, Sanzo and Gojyo smoking their cigarettes.
"Pinfu." Goku suddenly said.
"Huh?" said the others as the looked up at him.
"Pinfu, 1,000 vpoints! Wait– I'm oya. 1,500 points!" Goku cheered.
"Big whoop. Flunkes ain't worth dancing over." said Gojyo, although he was a little sore about losing.
"A win's a win, Gojyo. 1,500 points!" said Goku.
"This is bullshit." growled Sanzo as she stood. "I don't have time for this!"
"...Sanzo. You really wanna leave a loser?" Goku asked, still not looking at her. Sanzo stared at them, then sat back down and began playing again.
Goku began playing and winning every game!
"Okay! Let's play again!" said Goku after he won the tenth game.
"Shit. Since this morning... Goku's won ten damn games in a row." cursed Gojyo.
"You've been doing pretty well yourself." said Hakkai.
"Well, compared to someone. Goku keeps winnin' with Sanzo's tossed tiles. It's almost like he planned it." said Gojyo. "Wait a sec, Hakkai. You're not plotting something with the monkey, are ya?"
"That's rather rude. First of all, there's no merit in my doing anything of the--" Hakkai started.
"Chiitoi Dora-Dora! 6,400 point. Yay!" yelled Goku.
"Ah, ha, ha. Very nice, Goku." said Hakkai as he dropped the tiles he was holding.
'Crap– He's pissed. This could be bad.' Gojyo thought.
They played again and again, but Goku kept winning.
"Look–Tsumo!" said Goku as he won another game.
"Chanta Sanshoku Mangan?! What the hell kind of strategy are you using?!" exclaimed Gojyo.
"It's not me playin' strong, Gojyo. It's you all bein' weak." said Goku.
"What?!" yelled Gojyo.
"It's easy to win against guys who decided to lose." continued Goku. "Not me. I don't plan to lose anymore."
"Don't lecture us, you little prick! That Kami-sama guy kicked your ass just as hard as he kicked ours." yelled Gojyo. "All the positive thinking in the world doesn't change the fact he's stronger than us."
"But there's no point in playin' to lose! I don't get you guys! All th' stuff that psyco sprouted was crap!" yelled Goku as he stood. "What's wrong with wantin' to live? Isn't that normal?! If we just give up and die, then we lose to him! I don't think I'm forcin' myself through life an' I don't think I'm cool. We just do things th' way we want. If ya think I don't get it 'cause I'm a stupid kid, fine. Maybe I'm a stupid kid. But I still know he's wrong an' I'm right! Sittin' here's like losin' to what he said. It's stupid an' I hate it! That guy can go suck himself! I'm never going to lose to a jackass like him! And... um... Crap, I ran outta thing to say."
"...Perhaps you're right, Goku." said Hakkai. "No– I'm sure you're right. What we all need is– Oh. Tsumo."
"Ha?" said Gojyo.
"It seems the wheel of Fate has turned. Men Chin Tan Pin Ryanpeikou." said Hakkai. "Perhaps we need rethink our strategy. Let's first set success as our goal and then discover how to reach it."
"Ack! When'd ya do that?!" exclaimed Goku.
"Triple full score. 24,000 points." said Hakkai cheerfully.
"Bah! I don't remember anyone saying they were ready to die." scoffed Gojyo.
"I thought you did earlier." said Hakkai.
"Can it, pretty boy. And forget all that. Riichi!" said Gojyo. "Tsumo. How do you like them apples? Tsumo right after Riichi, 3 omote, 3 ura, oya-bai! And I'm just getting started, boys. 24,000 does have a nice ring to it."
"Hey! Crap, now everrybody's winnin'!" whined Goku.
"I suppose it's important to make up one's mind." chuckled Hakkai. Suddenly Sanzo began to laugh. "Um, Sanzo?"
"Shit– I think losing made her finally snap." said Gojyo.
"...Quit staring and get ready. We're going again." Sanzo told them as she gathered up the Mahjong pieces. "And this time I'll win."
//Later//
"It's finally quiet in there. I wonder if they've finished? I can't believe they played Mahjong all night in their condition. That's just unhealthy!" said the Barkeep as he walked up the stairs. He knocked on the Sanzo Party's door. "Hello? I'm coming in. ...Hm?" he said as he opened the door. He saw the whole party fast asleep. "Good grief. Maybe I should fetch some blankets. Huh?" then he notice Sanzo's tiles. "She has Kokushi Musou."
//The Next Day//
"Well, what should we do now?" asked Hakkai.
"How about you fill me and Goku on the little secret you two have. How long have you known Sanzo was a... a girl?" asked Gojyo. Hakkai sighed.
"You just won't let that go, will you? Very well. I've known since the whole incident in the forest. Sanzo and, er, someone else were talking and I walked in on them." he said.
"Someone else? Who?" asked Goku. Suddenly a man with long shaggy black hair in a ponytail and brown eyes came from the air vent and landed right in from front of Sanzo.
"Hey, San-chan! Sorry, I'm late, but you guys are hard to find! I thought you were headin' west and here I find that ya are headin' back east! Make up your minds!" Tsuki said as he dug in a bag, not noticing that Goku and Gojyo were right behind him. "Oh, and I got somethin' to hide your breast from those naive idiots, because the bandages are not workin' out for me and--" He stopped. "The naive idiots are right behind me, aren't they?"
"Afraid so." said Hakkai. Tsuki turned and came face to face with the two very confused naive idiots. "Oh... Hello, naive idiots... Eh, heh, heh..." Then he pulled out a hat and put it on. Nothing happened. "Hey! I'm not disappearing!"
"Of course you're not, idiot!" said Sanzo as many anime veins appeared on her.
"But it worked for Chichiri on Fushigi Yugi!" whined Tsuki. Sanzo twitched and whacked Tsuki on his head.
"Baka!" Little stars were flying around Tsuki's head.
"Ooh, look... It's the constellation of Suzaku..." he muttered.
"Uh, hello! Still here and very confused!" yelled Gojyo. "Who the hell is he?! And do you know each other?" Tsuki shook his head and stood.
"You shall call me Tsuki Yami! And as for how we know each other..." he slung a arm around Sanzo's shoulder. "We're lovers." Sanzo hit him so hard with her fan, he went through the roof. "OW! I was kidding!" he yelled as he held his head, when he landed back in the room. "God! You never change! I wish I never gave you that thing!"
"Baka!" cursed Sanzo. Hakkai laughed.
"Now, now Sanzo!" he said.
"You seem familiar..." said Goku as he stared at Tsuki.
"Hm? Yeah. We met before, don't you recognize me? Oh, right. You wouldn't. Sorry, I keep forgetting. Maybe this'll help ya." Tsuki went behind a changing rack. Ten seconds later she came out looking exactly like Sanzo! "Remember me now?" he winked.
"HOLY SHIT! You're that dude from that day!" exclaimed Gojyo. Tsuki laughed.
"You haven't seen anything yet, boys! Watch this!" He went behind the changing rack again, and came out looking just like Goku!
"Whoa! You look just like me!" said Goku and Tsuki at the same time. "Hey! Stop copying me!" They glared at each other while Hakkai laughed.
"Shit... Now there's two of them." said Gojyo. Sanzo stood, then grabbed both Gokus by the ears.
"OW!!" They both cried.
"Cool it, you two. Tsuki, change forms. Now." Sanzo ordered.
"Okay, okay! Just Let go! Let go!" Tsuki cried. Sanzo released them and Tsuki went behind the rack and changed into a woman with long black hair and almost glowing green eyes.
"So... How long have you been following us?" asked Gojyo.
"For... Let's see, months I guess." said Tsuki.
"Months?!" exclaimed Goku and Gojyo.
"Yup!" winked Tsuki. "You boys are such idiots! I've been following you for months and you never noticed me! Even when I was following you in that flying city!"
"Wait! That was you with the city?" asked Goku. "I knew we weren't seeing things!"
"Well... Kinda. I found it with San-chan here actually." said Tsuki.
"HUH?" asked Goku and Gojyo as they stared at him. He sighed. This was going to take awhile.
//3 and ½ hours later//
"And that's basically what happened." finished Tsuki. When he was done the boys all stared at him, then Gojyo turned to Sanzo.
"We leave you alone for 2 hours and you awaken a lost city that flies? Damn. We're going to have to keep a closer eye on you." he said with a sweat drop.
"Don't blame me. It's all the fault of the idiot over there." said Sanzo as she pointed accusingly at Tsuki.
"Do you always have to be so mean?" pouted Tsuki. "But more importantly, what are you all plannin' to do about Kami-Sama?"
"How do know about him?" asked Goku.
"Hello! What part of 'Sanzo's personal stalker' do you not understand?" asked Tsuki.
"Then why didn't you do anything to help us?!"
"Couldn't. It's forbidden for people like me to get involved in other people's battles. And besides, I just had my nails done."
"You–!" Goku growled. He did not like Tsuki at all.
"Now, now you two." said Hakkai in his motherly tone.
"And besides... It wasn't my fight in the first place." continued Tsuki. "Now, here's the question... What are you going to do now?"
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I know the captures have been getting more crappy lately, but they'll get better soon! The next one is the big fight with the crazy dude!
Polls:
Goku-15
Hakkai-13
Gojyo- 15
Kougaiji-6
Tsuki- 8
The polls will be ending soon, so if you haven't gotten your votes in, get 'em in now.