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Joy and Pain

Chapter 2 : Invisible little heart

Of course Mary Lou was right and I had to tell him.

Gosh, soon I would show.

For a moment I stood in front of my mirror and looked at my stomach, fascinated by the thought of our baby growing inside of me.

Our baby.

Ranger's and mine.

Oh my god!

I lay down on my bed, trying to decide when to tell him.

Or maybe I should tell my parents first.

Oh, my mother would drown all alcoholic products, my grandma would be ecstatic and my sister would ramble about me getting all the good looking ones. And my father…

My father would offer me silent support, like he always had.

But I had to tell Ranger first.

That was the right thing to do.

He would meet me for dinner at his appartment tonight and then I would tell him

But right now I would make an appointment with the doctor Mary Lou recommended, to check if the baby is okay.

My baby.

Who would have though that I would become pregnant.

Huh, I guess miracles do happen.

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At 6.50 I drove into the garage.

I was sweating and my hands were shaking.

So much for telling him during dinner.

Ranger would see immediately that there was something wrong.

Hell, maybe he could use his supernatural power and see the problem, too.

So I wouldn't have to tell him.

I sighed and got out of the car, the bag with the tests in my hand.

I crossed the garage, took a deep breath and went into the already waiting elevator.

Up to the lion's den!

------

Two minutes later I was standing in front of Ranger's door. I just wanted to knock, when he opened the door.

I smiled but the smile vanished when he just said "Hey, babe" already turning his back to me and moving to the bedroom.

Confused I closed the door behind myself and followed him.

Could he already know everything? Was he angry because I was pregnant?

No, he couldn't know. Only Mary Lou knew and she would never tell anyone.

When I entered the bedroom, I heard him open and close doors in the walk-in closet, so I sat down on the bed.

I laid my hand down on the sheets and picutres of our love-making instantly came to my mind.

He was right, we were good together. More than good.

Maybe together they would be good parents, too.

"I'm sorry, babe."

"Huh?" Ranger was standing in front of me. He had clothes in one hand and a hounded look on his face.

"I have to fly down to Miami in an hour. I won't have time for dinner."

He looked at me for a few seconds then he turned around and walked to the living room. I followed him, again.

He was packing clothes into a bag as neatly and concentrated as he did everything.

Okay, now I was truly worried.

"What happened?"

"I can't tell you."

And there it was. The sentence that kept me from saying that we were in a relationship.

During the last days I had been hopeful, because he had started to tell me about his day or about a job.

I hadn't wanted to push, so I had kept the private questions to myself, always hoping that soon he would tell me.

But I guess, that had been wishful thinking.

Pain and sorrow gipped my heart and my eyes became wet.

I quickly turned around so he wouldn't see it.

"When are you going to be back?" I heard him quickly moving around behind me.

"I don't know. Call Tank if you have a problem."

Suddenly he was behind me. He slipped an arm around my waist, turned me towards him and gave me a fierce kiss.

Then he took his back and was out of the door without even looking back.

I stared at the door.

When had my emotions become secondarily?

I had always thought of Ranger as the one who thought of me first and the job second.

Was I too sensitive? Was that the influence of the hormones?

No, I guess not.

Poor, invisible little heart.

I walked out of the appartment like in trance, passing Ella without even recognizing her.

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Lying on the bed in Ranger's bedroom was a bag.

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