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Joy and Pain

Chapter 6: The talk

Ranger's POV:

Then I bend down and kissed her stomach, where our baby was growing.

Ella stepped into the room. She carried a tray with a cup of tea and a dry toast.

I raised an eyebrow as she put it down on the bedside table.

"That's for Stephanie. When she wakes up she has to eat this and stand up very slowly."

"Why?" I was confused.

Ella smiled. "Because she suffers from morning sickness."

I nodded and stroked my Babe.

"Is it bad?"

Ella became serious.

"Yeah it is, Ranger. She has problems because of the warm weather and she was worried and excited very often during the last days."

I reached down to stroke our baby.

My poor babe. She had been alone during these days.

Well she had had Ella but I guess, or rather I hope, being with me is something different.

Because I'm the father.

And I would be a good daddy, I would take care of her and out baby.

I kissed her once more and stood up. I went to my office, turned my computer on and started a research about pregnancy and babies.

One would think I already know all of this because I have a daughter. But I hadn't known that Rachel was pregnant until she was in 4th month because she had had problems to find me. I was stationed in Guatemala at that time.

I had only come back when she was 8 months far and we merried quickly. I saw her maybe 3 hours. The next time I came home Julie was already 6 months old. We tried living together for one month and then parted. I moved to Trenton. She got to know Ron and we divorced after a marriage that lastet 9 months.

An hour later I knew all about prenatal care, I had searched for preparation courses and I was just getting a subscription for "American Baby".

During the time Ella had come in and told me that she was going now. Stephanie was still asleep but Ella told me not to worry because she probably hadn't slept much last night.

Stephanie's POV:

I woke up feeling warm, protected and actually resteted for the first time during the last days. I looked around and noticed that I was lying on Ranger's bed. He must have carried me up here. Since I couldn't see him I guess he was already in hospital getting his back looked after. I winced at the thought of me being as big as a house, which was inevitable.

I slowly sat up and leaned against the headnoard.

There was a tray with tea and toast on the bedside table. I had to smile. My angel had been here.

I drank the tea and slowly ate the toast. I thought about the talk with Ranger, which was also inevitable. I was surprised to notice that I wasn't neravous at all. Okay, that may be an exaggeration but it wasn't too bad. I didn't even feel sick. I had to do this and I was going to do this. He seemed excited about the baby and we were going to have a serious talk. No emoitional breakdowns from my side. Serious.

I put the empty cup back on the tray.

I slowly stood up and leaned against the wall for a few seconds before I began to walk through the appartment looking for Ranger.

I found him in his office working on his computer. He looked up when I stepped into the doorway.

"Hey, babe. Did you sleep well?"

I nodded.

He stood up and came towards me and bend down to kiss me softly. Then he turned me around and steered me to the living room where we sat down on the sofa.

"Okay, babe, am I right that you wanted to tell me the day I left?"

I just nodded.

He looked at me for a few minutes that seemed like a lifetime.

Then he simply said "I'm sorry, babe."

And there was my plan to keep it serious.

Tears sprang into my eyes and I looked away so he wouldn't see them.

His arms came around me and he pulled me against him. I only struggled for a few seconds before I relaxed into his strong, protective embrance.

"Everything is going to be good, babe. I already told you I loved you on many occasions and that hasn't changed. We're good together and we will manage this."

I pulled back.

"Ranger this is more then just being good in bed. We're talking about a human being here."

He looked angry.

"Babe, don't you think I know that? I already have a daughter, remember? And why do you think I was talking about having good sex?"

"Because there hasn't been much more during the last time, Ranger."

I looked into his eyes. I had hurt him. I didn't want to feel guilty but I did.

"There hasn't been more, Stephanie? What about the dinners,the phone calls and the talks. It was hard for me to open up, you know."

I was really feeling guilty now. But part of what I had said was right.

"Yeah, Ranger, but we never went out together. Dinner was always either here or at my appartment. Maximum at Shorty's. And you told me about your jobs and your days but I don't know about your family. You didn't tell me why you had to go. And you didn't call me. That was a step backwards don't you think?"

"We never went out because I was worried about your safety. The same goes for not telling you why I had to go. And I just didn't have time to call nor was it safe enough."

"Ranger if we are going to have a relationship, which I really hope, this has to change. I only feel safe when I know where you are and why and that you are feeling well. Besides you always have time to call. I would have been happy about a "Yo, babe. It's me. I'm neither dead nor hurt."

And when the baby is born. What's then? Do you want to lock our baby up in here so it doesn't get hurt?"

Ranger sighed and leaned back.

"That is completely different and you know it."

"No, I don't."

"I just want you to be safe, babe. It would kill me if something happened to you because of me."

"I know, Ranger, but I want to be part of your life and I hope that the baby will be part of your life, too."

He sat up.

"Of course it will, babe. I love this baby as much as I love you. I wouldn't want to miss any of you in my life. I wouldn't survive."

I breathed a sigh of relief. Good.

I leaned forwards and snuggled into his chest. His arms came around me and he started stroking my back.

"Did you doubt it?"

"I had a few doubts, yes. I though you might feel pressured. With your life not leading…"

"Babe, we already have a relationship. And I will change, I will become father and family material."

I leaned back.

"But what if that makes you unhappy. I don't want you to hate me or yourself because you had to give up so much."

"The only thing I would hate to give up is you and our baby, babe."

I looked into his eyes. He was serious. I smiled.

"Okay, but we're going to take it slow and we will talk if there's a problem. And you will have to open up."

"I will."

"Will you tell me why you went to Miami."

He buried his face in my hair.

"Please, Ranger."

"Yes, I will but not now, okay?"

I looked into his face and noticed how tired he was. More than tired. He was exhausted.

I nodded. "You have to sleep."

He smiled. "Yes."

"I have promised Mary Lou to come over, today."

"Does she know?"

"Yes. She, Ella and you."

He raised an eyebrow.

"No, I didn't tell my parents yet."

"Afraid?"

"No…" he raised the eyebrow even higher "well, maybe a little bit. But I wanted to tell you first."

He smiled and kissed me.

"Okay, now you get some sleep." I stood up. " I will call you tomorrow."

"Babe, I want you to stay here."

I looked at him.

"That will be our next talk but not now. You're exhausted. Go and sleep for a few years."

He smiled and stood up. He followed me to the door where he kissed me goodbye.

"Be careful."

I nodded and went into the elevator.

I had to talk to Mary Lou.

I hope you liked it.

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