We talked for a couple more hours... and the fact that he had a girlfriend, didn't daze on him one bit. He was as flirty as a single guy could ever get. It was two o'clock when we both decided that we were going to bed. He left after he gave me another long tight hug. And i sighed and leaned against the door. Tears found their way out of my shut eyes. And i slid down the door.
"Why do I always get my hopes up" i whispered softly to myself. I sat on the floor for what seemed forever until i was able to get up and stumble to my room. I made my way through the darkness and slipped my pants off from my waist, and pulled my shirt above my head and unclasped my bra and pulled the covers down and crawled in to bed. I slowly drifted into a sleep, that i wish I'd never wake up from.
Next Morning
There's no combination of words i could put on the back of a postcard
and no song that i could sing, but i can try for you're heart
our dreams, and they are made out of real things like a shoe box of photographs with sepia tone loving
Love is the answer at least for most of the questions in my heart
why are we here and where do we go
and how come it's so hard
it's not always easy and sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing
it's always better when we're together
Mmm it's always better when we're together
yeah, we'll look at the stars when we're together
Well, it's always better when we're together
yeah, it's always better when we're together
And all of these moments just might find a way into my dreams tonight but i know that they'll be gone when the morning light sings
or brings new things for tomorrow night you see
that they'll be gone too, too many things i have to do
but if all of these dreams might find their way into my day to day scene
I'd be under the impression i was somewhere in between
with only two, just me and you, not so many things we got to do
or place we got to be, we'll sit beneath the mango tree now
Mmm it's always better when we're together
yeah, we'll look at the stars when we're together
Well, it's always better when we're together
yeah, it's always better when we're together
I believe in memories, they look so, so pretty when i sleep
and when i wake up, you look so pretty sleeping next to me
but there is not enough time
and there is no, no song i could sing
and there is no combination of words i could say but i will still tell you one thing
We're Better Together.
I sighed as I listened to the words of the song go off on my alarm clock. After the song was over, i managed to roll over and hit the snooze button, and get out of bed. I jumped in the shower and just stood directly under the water for five minutes. The water poured down my face and blended with the tears that we're fighting to come out of my eyes. I collapsed on the floor of the tub, and sobbed. "I loved you" i said in between sobs. "Why did you do this to me?"
"You pushed me til i broke... before i could even show you how i felt" I said to myself in the shower... nobody listening but myself. I'm the coward who pushed away the pain for three years... and now we're both face to face. And he doesn't even seem to remember the pain he caused me. I sat on the tub floor with my knees to my chest and my head tucked in between, remembering the events that happened between Randy and myself before we both went our separate ways.
Flashback
I was sitting on my couch watching tv when i heard my phone go off indicating that i had a text message. I opened my phone to see who it was.
NEW TEXT MESSAGE
Randy
Sun. Feb, 19 3:08
I looked at the name... Randy. Randy! I was shocked that he texted me, we usually didn't text each other that often it was usually talking on the computer a lot. I opened the text and read what he had to say
Hey what are you doing?
-Randy
Nothing.. What are you up too?
-Rach
Nothing, I'm cold
-Randy
Me too... come over
-Rach
Alright... I'll go ask
-Randy
Alright we're going to come over
-Randy
Ok but me and my mom are running to the store fast.
-Rach
Ok
-Randy
It was the middle of winter... it was freezing and we lost power. So our families decided to come to my house because we had found a heater. The Orton's came over and we hung out for a while. Me and Randy had made our way into the separate living room. We talked for a while, and some how ended up holding hands under a blanket.
We cuddled for endless hours... and made out, for a while too. It was one of those electrifying kisses... that just pulled you in for another one, and another. His family ended up leaving around midnight.. We didn't want to say goodbye. We tried to get my parents let him sleep over, and they were alright with it, but his parents wanted him to come home because their power was going to come on soon. So he left, after we kissed one last time. And that one last kiss... would be our last kiss ever.
I always secretly loved Randy as we grew up together, our mothers always believed we would one day realize that we loved each other, but obviously i was the only one, since i didn't hear from him after that. We saw each other, sure.. But it was awkward and weird. He claimed that it was just too weird to be with me. I laughed at his excuse. I wanted to kill him, but i loved him, so much.
The months flew by... and i didn't talk to him. I loved talking to him, because it was just comfortable, we told each other everything it seemed like. Over that following summer, things were different. We saw each other, and he had actually hugged me one day, which would be the last time i got a hug from him for a couple of years. We weren't as silent with each other as we were in the beginning... but other than that... nothing changed. I went on with my life and i forgot about him, but i always seemed to have a place in the back of my mind for him. He told me that he wanted to hang out with me, and he told me this and that, but all he did was just leave. He didn't say that he was going to stop talking to me, he didn't tell me that we weren't going to hang out anymore... i was left on my own to figure it out the hard way, to be ignored by him when i tried to ask what was going on, so i gave up.
Flash back over.
I regained my posture and got up from the floor, and washed my face in the water. I shaved my legs and washed my hair and got out of the shower. I walked in my room and dropped the towel and wrapped it around my long brown hair. I locked my door just incase somebody decided to barge in and see me butt ass naked. I walked around my room wondering what to wear. I looked at my suit cases on the floor and threw one on my bed and searched through my freshly washed clothes.
I picked out a pair of American Eagle capris and threw on a low cut button down shirt that had a black tank top underneath. I blow dryed my hair and straightened it quickly. And then I slipped on a pair of wedges and grabbed my purse and phone.