It was the worst day of my life.

I was going to the grocery store, getting a much-needed carton of milk (I was out of it). I put a fake beard on, disguising myself from the fangirls. BUT THEY STILL NOTICED IT WAS ME!

Now, I can't buy milk or else they know who I am! AAAAGGGGHHH!

I tried sending my servants over in the private jet, but…

The fangirls took them down. The servants were tortured till they told where my house was…. Aagggh…

Then I decided to go to Japan. I decided this would be a good place to hide. I met up with Yoh.

"Yoh, can I live in your house for a while?"

"No, it's under construction right now. One of the fangirls took it down in an attempt to find you. Anna is not pleased with you right now, just so you know."

"AAAAGH! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!"

When Anna saw me (I was trying to find a grocery store that was not infiltrated by fangirls) she said (er, screamed):

"YOU WILL DO THE ELECTRIC CHAIR! OR ELSE-"

"OR WHAT? YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER!"

"I know… I can get you some milk…" she grinned evilly, "but you must do five-hundred years of the electric chair!"

I seriously thought about this offer for a while, but decided against it.

"THE FANGIRLS INTERROGATED US! I WAS FORCED TO USE MY LEFT-HANDED SLAP ON THEM!" she suddenly screamed.

"Ow." I winced. Did the fangirls really deserve that?

Wait. Yes, they did.

I thought of moving in with Lenny for a while (because, you know, the fangirls don't like him at all…) but I remembered how if his voice was annoying enough to drive off fangirls, I probably couldn't bear it for more than two seconds.

Then I thought of moving in with Horohoro. But I realized I probably couldn't stand that baka's company in concentrated doses for much longer than I could stand Lenny (maybe, like, five seconds).

Then it hit me. I could stay with the X-Laws! They don't approve of teenage dating, so they wouldn't let a single fangirl near me!

But Iron Maiden Jeanne didn't want me to stay. "WE ARE HOLY PEOPLE AND YOU ARE… UM…. NOT HOLY!"

Then Ryu (for about the trillionth time) came over and asked me for girl advice (this was pre-Mary Sue... which is a whole 'nother story...).

I had an idea!

"Uh, Ryu… put this costume on! Girls totally dig it!"

Ryu looked at it dubiously. "Ok, if it works!"

I smirked. That dummy fell for it hook, line, and sinker!

So Ryu put on the Ren costume and went out to the hordes of fangirls.

"OMG IT'S REEEEEEN!" they cried.

"Hey," cried one of them, "this isn't Ren!"

"Hey, you're right!" cried another.

They tore him to bits and he ran away crying and begging for mercy.

I shivered. The fangirls are ruthless. I had been planning to sneak out, but there was no hope.

So now I stay in my house. Even though it takes constant jiang-si protection to keep them from tearing down the manor, at least they don't bother me.

And, thankfully, Jun brought home a whole lot of milk that night, so I didn't go without my milk.

Actually, I think they would have taken her hostage but for Bailong. No, Bailong was not stronger than the fangirls… it's just that the Bailong fangirls are pretty darn tough, as well, and they won't let my fangirls hurt him.

So all is well. I guess. I get to drink milk and watch my soaps. Living in constant fear of fangirls is not good, though…

I wish I wasn't so hot.