MissNavi: It's chapter 2! I know that I'm supposed to do this at the end, but PLEASE REVIEW!!
Link: God, can't you wait?
MissNavi: NOPE!
Navi: Wow, I really have nothing to say today..
Link: Well, you never have anything smart to say..
Navi: Then why am I your conscience?
Link: Because I'm smart and you're not, so I help you?
Navi: NUH UH!
Link: YUH HUH!
Navi: NUH UH!
Link: YUH HUH!
MissNavi: Shut up!
Link and Navi: MAKE US!
MissNavi: No thank you... Now, here's chapter 2!
-MissNavi backs away from Link and Navi who look fairly threatening in an I-wanna-smack-you kinda way-
The Legend of Zelda: Betrayers
Chapter 2
As Link awoke, he heard shouting. He looked out the window and there were three children waiting outside for him..
"Hey, wake up, Link! It's morning already!"
"Ugh, do I have to??" Link muttered to himself.
"Yes, you do!" Navi responded. Link got up and headed outside towards the little people.
"Oh, Link! Didja hear?"
"Hear what?" Link responded, sounding annoyed.
"They're selling a slingshot at the store right now! A SLINGSHOT!"
"They woke me up to tell me this? A slingshot? That was it? I COULD'VE JUST SLEPT!"
"I wonder how powerful it is... I... I need... I must try it..." The Malo wondered.
"Talo, if you and Malo want it so badly, just buy it at my parents' shop!"
"Do you see any Rupees in my hand? I can't afford that thing! C'mon, Beth, can't you just loan it to us for a while?"
"Wow, and I thought I had problems.."
"Well, you do Link!
"SHUT UP NAVI!" The sounds of argument fell from the air, and there was a moment or two of silence.
"What are you doing, Link?" Beth asked.
"Umm.. Nothing," Link said, looking down at the ground. Link had never actually SEEN Beth. "I was just saying that," Link looked up at Beth,"SOOO HOT!!!"
"Excuse me?" Beth asked, chuckling slightly.
"Ummm.. Nothing, I was spacing out.. Continue your childish rants.." "Except for Beth.. Children aren't that hot! OoOoOh ya..." Link began to drool. Everyone was staring at Link in fear.
"Okkkkkk... Anyway, can't you just loan it to us?" Talo carried on.
"You know I'd get in trouble for that! If you two want it, save up your allowances or something."
"YOU TELL 'EM BETH!" Everyone stared at Link again.
"Thank you," Beth replied, giggling and laughing girlishyly.
"EWW!! LINK SHE LIKES YOU!! EWWWW!"
"That's because I'm hot, now step aside Navi!"
"Link... I'm not even physically there.."
"Oh yeah.. I knew that..."
"But our allowances are terrible... Aww, I wish I was born into a family with a slingshot instead of one with a waterwheel..." Malo whispered under his breath.
"C'mon, Beth. We just want to LOOK at it a little! So can you get it? The slingshot? From the shop?"
"... Yeah, and if you can't do that, let's just trade families, ok?" Malo muttered.
"KNOCK IT OFF!" Beth screamed in frustration. Link ran into town in search of the slingshot. He found a strange man looking up at a bee's nest.
"Well hey, 'morning Link. Got a day off from work today, m'boy?"
"Yes... How about you?" "Why does everyone know my name?!"
"Not me. The wife's been hassling me... Today's the day to restock our store. Look! See that? Up in that tree... Yeah, some Ordon bees built themselves a fine nest up there, and I was thinking about knocking it down..."
"Yeah, then you get stung smart one!"
"Our cat hasn't come home since yesterday, so the wife's in a bad mood. At the very least, I need to bring something home to her..."
"Oh god, people and their problems!" Link headed over to the shop to go get the stupid slingshot.
"I'll buy the slingshot so the little twerps can't have it.. That will be fun..." Link saw a fat lady name Sera sitting at the counter.
"Ohhhh... Awww..." Sera moaned and groaned.
"Ummm... Hello?" Link attempted to get Sera's attention, and Sera looked up.
"... Oh, my... It's young Link..."
"Yess... I am Link.." Link said slowly and carefully. He wasn't sure she would understand him, being that she seemed so slow.
"... Welcome, m'dear. You... You didn't happen to see my little cat out there, did you?"
"No, why?" "OH MY GOD! WILL EVERYONE STOP ASKING ME TO HELP THEM?! I MEAN REALLY! DO I LOOK LIKE SOME KINDA LEGENDARY HERO?! Oh wait, I was one.. Hahaha... BUT THAT WAS MY PAST LIFE!"
"He ate the fish we were going to have for supper last night, and I gave him a good scolding... but then he went out and hasn't returned... I have been fraught with worry for him..."
"Okkk.. Later!" "Your negativity is killin' my vibe.."
"Do you know nothing about the 1960's?"
"YES I DO!! That's when the dinosaurs were around, right?"
"... Sure, whatever you say, Link.. Whatever you say.." Link walked around, and as he was walking, he heard his name being called..
"Hey! Link! Up here!" Link looked up to find a strange looking man calling him from a ledge with vines growing alongside the wall. He told him that there was the grass that he whistles growing up there, but Link found this piece of information useless and moved through the town. He found a woman with a baby, and talked to her.
"Oh, um, good morning to you. If you are looking for my husband, he took his sword and left early this morning."
"I wasn't looking for him. But being that he's not here, maybe we ca---"
"But I must ask, Link..."
"But I wasn't finis---"
"You have not seen a cradle come floating by here, have you? It is a baby's cradle made of finely woven tree bark..."
"Is this a trick question? I have NOT seen a cradle, sooo... yes? Or would it be no.. Actually, I can say 'No I have.' or 'No I haven't.' That's really weird.. Or 'Yes I have not,' or 'Yes I have.' That's like, really freaky and REALLY consfusing... wOaH..." "No, I haven't.."
"Oh, such a misfortune... How far could it have drifted, I wonder.."
"Why did you throw a cradle in the water?" Link ran back over to where the man was screaming his name and Link used the whistling grass. He saw a monkey on a large rock in the distance, holding a cradle. He used the grass and a hawk came and landed on Link's arm.
"AHHHH!!"
"CAWW!!" The hawk sounded. Link aimed the hawk towards the monkey, and the hawk took the cradle right out of the monkey's hands. Link ran over to the woman with the baby and gave her the cradle.
"Oh! Link! That cradle! Did you go to the trouble of finding it for me?"
"Uhhh, no.." Link said seriously, although the woman who was supposably Colin's mother took it as sarcasm.
"My thanks to you! Oh, that reminds me! There is something I am supposed to give to you..."
"Lots of lovin'?"
"EWW LINK!"
"Do you think you could carry that cradle and come with me back to my house?"
"Sure!" "Told ya Navi! She thinks I'm hot!"
"Dude, she's married. GET OVER IT!" She began to walk to her house.. A few minutes passed. Then about a half hour.. An hour.. A few more hours.. Almost half-way there.
"OH MY GOD! COULD SHE GO ANY SLOWER?! IT'S LIKE SHE'S SHUFFLING THERE! EVEN THAT WOULD BE FASTER!" They had finally arrived at the house.
"My thanks to you , Link."
"Yeah yeah yeah, that's great.. Now, you wanted to give me something?"
"Yes, yes... I had nearly forgotten... I am supposed to give you this..."
"Ok, now give it to me!"
"All right... Here you go!"
"FINALLY! I'm gonna get what I deserve! If only it was Zelda though.. Ohhhh yeah! I could go all night with her!"
"DID I NOT TELL YOU TO SHUT UP?! SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU!! If you were paying attention, you would know that she's trying to give you a fishing rod!"
"Oh, thank you.. For the.. fishing rod.."
"It is a little... unpolished. My son, Colin, made this under the instruction of his father. You can use it if you like."
"Well, isn't that why you gave it to me? GOD!" Link immediately wanted to try out his fishing rod, so he ran over to the lake area to fish. Sera's cat was sitting there, watching him.
"ONE FISH!! ALRIGHT!! I'm the master!"
"Yeah, one fish! Whoop-dee-doo Mr. Genius!"
"Hey! That's pretty good for a starter! I'm the Master of the Starters! YEP!"
"Ok, that's kinda barkwards, dontcha think?"
"No."
"Riiiight... The cat is staring at you. It probably thinks you're schitzo.."
"NO I'M NOT NAVI!!" Navi did not respond. Silence fell upon the water.
"ANSWER ME NAVI!" Link looked at the cat. The cat was indeed staring at Link like he had 5 heads. Four that the cat believed had fish brains. The fifth one had no brains, and that was everyone's belief. Link the cast his pole out again and caught a second fish. The fish flopped on the ground, and Sera's cat stole it and brought it back to the shop.
"Oh, my, Link! You simply MUST hear this!"
"Umm, with ears like mine, it's kinda hard NOT to.." Link lightly touched his ears. They were pointed like a elfs' ears..
"Just take a look! My little kitty Link came back!"
"She named the cat after me? WOAH WEIRD!"
"And he brought a fish back with him. He was worried about me being angry!"
"Well I'm pretty angry at you're 'little kitty' right now! HE STOLE MY FISH! WAAAH! IT WAS MY FISHY!!"
"Ohhh, just look... Isn't he so cute, the way he laps up that milk?"
"Doesn't she realize that the freakin' cat was in the neighborhood? I MEAN REALLY!"
"Say, m'dear, why don't you have some, too! I'm in a good mood, so it's on the house today!"
"Well, this is ALMOST as good as a fishy... Fishy fishy, they're really swishy.. If you catch one, then make a wishy.. I like that song, sklee!"
"Link... What was that..?"
"Uh... Nothing Navi.. Forget it..." After Link had obtained the bottle of milk, he asked how much the slingshot was. It was 30 rupees. Link had 2.. Link ran outside and talked to the person staring at the bee's nest again.
"... Huh?" The man began to acknowledge Link's presence.
"Ya, hi!"
"Oh! Sorry! Sorry! Didn't realize it was you, Link."
"It's ok, it's ok.. It's all good.. Now.. what are you doing?"
"I was thinking maybe I could knock it down by throwing rocks at it... But, of course, it's so high up... It makes that pretty hard to do..."
"Riiiiight... And why are you doing this again?"
"I want to knock that nest down so I can get the bee larva inside! The wide's in a bad mood today... so I don't want to do anything that would make her even angrier..." Link decided he wanted to help, so he started to climb up the vines leading to the bee's nest. As he was walking up the hill to the vines, the old man hit the nest. The bees all flew after him, and he ran into the water. Link ran over to go laugh at the poor guy.
"EEEEEK! AAAAACK! OUCH! ... Ow. They don't hold back with the stinging, do they?! I guess... rocks won't work... Hack! Haff!" The man used the last of his energy to speak while treading water. Link still climbed up the vines, and when he got to the top, a hoard of bees swarmed after him.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" People stared at Link as he ran away from the bees and into the water. For some reason, everyone knows that bees won't go in water. Even Link.
"THOSE BEES ARE MAD! THEY'RE CRAZY!" Link shouted. He sounded mental. Anyway, he used the whistling grass to call the hawk. He flew the bird into the nest, and the nest dropped to the ground.
"SWEET! AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT WAS ME!" Link celebrated his luck, and got some bee larva. He later rummaged around in the grass and such, looking for rupees. After he had gotten enough rupees, he went back to the store and bought the slingshot.
"Are you sure you want to buy the slingshot?"
"Uhh.. Yes?" "Is this a trick question or something?"
"What are you doing buying a slingshot, you naughty thing! You're too old for toys!"
"I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys R Us kid!"
"Will you at least let the kids play with it?"
"BUT THE WHOLE REASON I BOUGHT IT WAS SO THEY COULDN'T!" She looked at Link sternly.. Link finally gave in, "OH FINE!! BUT I WON'T BE HAPPY ABOUT IT!" Sera smiled at Link as he walked towards the door of the shop.
"Oh, I should tell you, if you happen to run out of pellets, you can also use pumpkin seeds."
"Wow, thanks... Really.." "Yeah, I REALLY needed to know that!"
"See you again soon!"
"I hope to see you again, too!" "NOT!" Link thought to himself, trying to avoid Navi's mind reading powers, and left Sera's shop and headed back to his house.. He saw Rusl as he walked into the area.
"And, just in time, Link! I just delivered something to your room!"
"Thanks, and look at this 'neat' fishing rod! OH BOY!" Link sounded sarcastically overjoyed. I don't know how that's possible, but trust me, it is.
"Oh, I see you got the fishing rod. Colin will be pleased. And it works better than you would think, right?"
"Psh, I didn't think it would work at all!"
"Well, have a good one..."
"Yeah, you, too!" "AND DON'T COME BACK!" Link nodded and Rusl walked away. Link ran over to talk to the brats.
"Link has a slingshot! WHOA!" Talo screamed to let everyone in Hyrule know.
"Wow! You had enough money to buy it, Link?" Beth asked Link flirtatiously.
"Somebody's got a cruuuush.. OoOoOoO!," Talo began singing. "Beth and Link, sittin' in a tree! K-I-S-S-I----"
"SHUT UP YOU LITTLE TWERP! Now, Linky.. I mean Link. That is so cool, you had enough money?!" Beth blushed.
"Uhh.. It's not that hard... I just kinda, rolled around in the grass to get some.. I just--- WOAH!" All of a sudden, there were targets surrounding Link. They were everywhere. Up, down, left, right.
"Preparations complete..."
"Ok, wow, this is great!" Talo shouted. "Let's see how powerful that slingshot it! Hit the targets AND those scarecrows!"
"No problem little people!"
"What did you call me?" Beth asked in an angry tone of voice.
"Except for Beth.." Link quickly responded.
"Anyway, I can't believe you two brats are so obsessed about this. It just both shows what little boys you both still are." Beth retorted.
"HEYY!!" Talo screamed in fury.
"These two idiots will never shut up about it, so I guess you'll just have to show them, Link."
"Uhhh.. I'll just hit the targets now..." Link averted his attention to the targets and scarecrows. He thought about hitting Talo and teaching him a lesson, so he gave it a try. He hit Talo, and Talo bent over and clutched his stomach in pain. Link hit Talo multiple times, but then shot the scarecrow.
"Whoa! You hit it! You hit it!"
"I didn't need to kill it with a slingshot! I could've BURNED it with my hottness!"
"I looked at the manual in the store, and it said that it's easier to hit nearby targets if you focus when you're aiming." Beth informed Link, like he hadn't known that.
"I thought you weren't interested, Beth..." Talo asked suspiciously. Link continued to shoot the targets. There were no more interruptions, thank god! Now that he hit them all.. Time for the amusement gasps of the children.
"Whoa! Amazing, Link!" Talo screamed.
"Hyahh! Thanks, Link!"
"Anytime! Actually, nevermind not anytime... Forget that.."
"Riiight.. Gee, you really are amazing, Link!"
"Yes he is," Beth agreed, and began to drool. Everyone stared at her, and she woke up from her Link daydream. Beth chuckled in embarrassment and blushed.
"By the way, Link... Were you expecting Colin's dad to bring something by here? 'Cause he did."
"No, I wasn't. But thank you Beth." "Even though I had known that already.. But she's SOOOO hot, I'll forgive her!" Beth began to twirl her hair and dig the toe of her shoe into the ground.
"Oh, yeah! That's right... What was that, anyway?!" Talo screamed and shouted and questioned. He was a very loud and obnoxious child.
"I command you to tell us.." Malo had spoken, for one of the first times.
"What did Colin's dad bring?"
"Ooh, yeah! I can't stop thinking about it! Show me!"
"I'll show you anything, Babe.."
"Hurry up... Hurry up!" Malo screamed softly.. Link was about to run into the house when...
"AHHHHHHHHH!!! SPIDER!!!" Everyone stared at Link. "I mean, uh, cool! A spider! I can take it out with my slingshot!" Everyone looked away and continued with their own business. Link shot down the spider and skittishly hopped away from the spider in fear. It died and fell to the ground. It disappeared in a puff of smoke, and gave Link an extra heart.
"Thanks.. BUT I DIDN'T NEED IT!" Link walked into the house and found a box. Inside the box, was a wooden sword! Whoopee! Link ran back outside to show the little people the sword that Rusl had given to Link. He gave it to LINK, not the KIDS! But the children failed to realize that..
"Ooh, my! Isn't that a wooden sword, Link?"
"Why, yes it is Miss Obvi---"
"Whoa... She's right! Hey, can I see it for a sec?" See what I mean now?
"You're kidding me, right?"
"Seriously! Lately these monkeys have been coming out of the woods and playing tricks on us! We want to get them GOOD!"
"Ok.. Umm.. Thinking thinking thinking NO!"
"C'mon, teach us how to use a sword!"
"NO!"
"What?! Aw, gee, why not?!"
"Get off your high horse. Just show us." Malo demanded. What a demanding little ugly thing he was..
"Please? Linky? Plese show us your hot, manly sword skills? Please, for me?"
"Well.. Ok.."
"Thanks Linky.." Beth twirled her hair with her finger.
"Anytime time, baby." Beth got excited that he had called her 'baby.' She loved him, and everyone could tell.
"YES!" Talo cheered.
"All right! First off, we wanna see THAT move!"
"..." "Do these kids think I'm psychic? Psychics psychos. Psychos are not hot. Therefore, there is no way on the face of this sane earth full of hot chicks that I am psychic!"
"Calm down Link, no one was accusing you. And ew."
"Thank you Navi! Now, let's get started!"
"The slice!" Talo told Link.
"Thanks for actually TELLING ME NOW!"
"Uh.. You just swing, right?"
"Sure, make my sword skills seem so simple!! WELL THEY'RE NOT!" Link targeted the scarecrow and sliced.
"Yeah!" Talo screamed in excitement. "A vertical slive! Was that it? Was it?"
"Well, you're telling me what to do, you should know!"
"I've definitely seen you do a horizontal slice before, too. You know, where you just swing. All right, next!"
"Ooh! Ooh!" Beth shouted for attention. "I wanna see that other move, Link!"
"Oh, you mean 'this' one?" Link asked confusedly. He had no idea what they were referring to.
"Yeah!"
"Oh, that helps..."
"The one where you lean in while targeting and swing to flex you muscles and... stab!"
"Wow, sounds bloody."
"Blooooooooood..." Malo sounded possessed.
"Yeah! That one!"
"... Oh, please. The stab?" Malo whispered to himself, looking to the side down at the ground. Link attempted the stab.
"Ooh! That was SO great, Link!" Beth praised.
"But that wasn't the stab." Malo informed Beth.
"What are you mumbling about?! Link did that on purpose! I mean, right, Link? You were just getting ready to do the stab, right?"
"Yeah! Duh, of course I meant to do that!"
"NOT! You perverted liar!"
"Yes, but she doesn't know that, now does she?! SO SHUT UP! DON'T TELL THEM, PLEASE!"
"Link.. They can't even hear me.. THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW I EXIST FOR GOD'S SAKE!"
"JEEZ! You didn't have to go and get all defensive about it.. I'm sorry.."
"Woah! You said sorry! IT'S A SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE! RUUUUN!" There was a silence in Link's thoughts.
"Navi? NAVI!!" Navi had actually run away. Getting back to reality.. Link attempted the stab again.
"Ooh, Link! Just amazing!"
"Well thank you, Cutie pie.." Beth blushed.
"Since you're at it, how about you show us that other move..."
"... Yes? THE NAME PLEASE!"
"Y'know.."
"No, I don't know! Now tell me!"
"I wasn't finished silly boy! Huh huh huh huh HUH!" Beth laughed very girlishly. "Y'know, that little twirly thing you do! I love that! What do you call it? A spin attack?"
"Well, that would make a lot of sense now, wouldn't it?!" "Yes, it's a spin attack. My little Princess, you're so smart!" Beth laughed girlishly.
"Like it's hard to just build your strength and release to spin.." Malo muttered.
"C'MON BETH! ENOUGH FLIRTING!"
"I WAS NOT!"
"Fine.. -cough YES YOU WERE cough- Wow, I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. That cough was just.. I don't know!" Talo gave Beth a look full of revenge with a mix of OoOoOH-WHATCHA-GONNA-DO-NOW!.. "Just do the move, Link!" Link did the spin attack with ease.
"Ooh, WOW! Thanks, Link! I'm sorry you have to waste your time with these little brats when you must be tired from doing all the important stuff you do!"
"Well, I can do some pretty important stuff with you.. Wanna come back to my room--"
"LINK!! SHE'S A CHILD!! DO NOT EXPOSE HER TO YOUR PERVERTEDNESS! TELL HER THAT YOU DON'T LIKE HER LIKE THAT RIIIGHT NOW!!"
"Sorry, I'm too busy showing off.."
"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"
"Well, I was gonna ask her if she wanted to make out later, but..."
"Link! NO!! BAD LINK!!"
"Haha! You can't smack me now, can you?!"
"WELL! I WILL IN THE AUTHOR'S NOTES!"
"Oh yeah.. I forgot about that... Uh oh.."
"Mmhmm!"
"You've gotta show us the jump attack before you go!" Talo shouted.
"Thanks kid, you ruined the moment!"
"You know, the one where you go 'HYAAH!' and leap through the air!"
"Do I really sound like that?"
"You mean the one where you just jump and slash? Oh yeah, real tough." Of course that was Malo muttering that. He's the only one with criticism on their amusement. Link did the jump attack and it tore the scarecrow apart.
"WHOA!" They all shouted in amazement. The screen went white..
"OH NO!! WHAT HAPPENED?! I'M BLIIIIND!!! I CAN NEVER LOOK AT MY HOTTNESS AGAIN!! NOOOO----"
"Ummm.. Link? Yeah, I didn't mean to interrupt your breakdown, but we're still here. And you're not blind.."
"It's a miracle.. I CAN SEE!!" Everyone stared at Link like he was some sort of mental case.
"Anyway... Thanks, Link! So, uh, I... I think I get it... Kinda... Hmm... Maybe not..." Talo reluctantly told Link.
"So I just did that for nothing? Well, I got to win Beth over, yeah... She's hot, oh yeah.."
"So this means that anytime one of those naughty monkeys shows up..."
"Like Beth? I bet she can get pretty naughty.. Ooooh yeahhh! Naughty like a monkey, baby!"
"WAH!" Talo turned to see a monkey standing at the front of the path to Faron Woods.
"C'MERE, YOU!" Talo and the other children ran off after it. Link hopped on Epona and rode into the Faron Woods...
Link: -drooling- Beth is sooooo hot..
Navi: Liiiink! I'm baaaack!
Link: Huh? What? ... AHHH!!! NAVI!!
Navi: I have a little present for you.. HOW'S A KNUCKLE SANDWICH?!
Link: Well, I am quite hungr---
Navi: RUN!! NOW!!
Link: Ok.. AHHHHHHHHHH!!
-Link ran from Navi-
Link: MISSNAVI!! STOP HER!!
MissNavi: But I'm the one that made her go after you in the first place! Remember? I wrote that she was gonna smack you?
Link: No way...
MissNavi: Way..
Link: YOU?! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!! YOU EVIL, CRUEL-HEARTED PERSON!!
MissNavi: Well, if you're giving me the credit, I'll take it! Thank you! Now, please review!!