Link: Yay! Now I find out what happens to me!
Navi: And me... I'm scared...-Navi bites nails in nervousness-
MissNavi: Uhhh, Navi? You kinda don't have any nails, so.. What are you biting?
Navi: Uhhhh, I don't know, really..
MissNavi: Riiight.. Now, Link and Navi are really gonna change in this chapter, so let's get it started!
Link: Let's get it started.. HA! Let's get it started in here! Let's get it started.. HA! Let's get it started in here! Uh huh! LOSE CONTROL! OF BODY AND SOUL!
MissNavi: Link, you're not the Black Eyed Peas!
Navi: -mumbles- Yeah.. More like the Blue Eyed Pervert...
MissNavi: Ok, on with chapter 4!!
Chapter 4
Link was writhing in pain for a few moments, and felt very strange. Link had transformed into a wolf. He was later dragged away and by the shadow creature and locked up in a cell. Link the wolf was laying in the cell, chained to the floor. He had awoken from his state of unconciousness and began to run around. He couldn't escape his chain. After a while, a twilit creature had come forth. She smiled and sprung up high into the air.
"I found you!" the creature shouted, speaking in some strange language that was thought to be Hylian. Link began to growl at the creature.
"Oooh! Aren't you scary! Eee hee! Are you sure you want to be doing that? Snarling and glaring at me?"
"Grrrrrr..." Link continued to growl at the twilit.
"Well, that's too bad... I was planning on helping you... if you were nice." Link quickly stopped growling, and decided to listen.
"Eee hee! That's much better! You humans are obedient to a fault, aren't you? Oops! But you AREN'T a human anymore, are you? You're a beast! Eee hee!" Link became really pissed off, and snapped at the strange creature. She jumped back.
"There, there. You be a good boy and calm down. No need to bite!" She formed a red glowing ball of energy in her arms and cut Link's chain. "You look kind of surprised! Eee hee hee! So I bet you want to know where you are and how to get out, right? Well, I'll make you a deal. If you can get over here, maybe I'll tell you! Eee hee!" the creature flew to the other side of the bars, which was out of Link's reach. She signaled for him to come, and she let out a small yawn. Link found a pile of debris and attacked it. He dug under the bars, and out of the cell. The twilit jumped on his back and Link ran in circles in a failed attempt to catch her.
"Hmph! I guess you're not completely stupid after all!" The twilit patted him on the back as if to say, 'good job.' "Listen, I like you, so I think I'll get you out of here." She pulled Link's right ear backwards, meaning there was a catch and she wasn't finished speaking. "But in exchange for my help," and apparently she wasn't finished, "you have to do EXACTLY as I say! If you need anything from me, just give me a sign! So, are we all clear? Good. Now, come on! Get moving!" The creature kicked Link's sides telling him to go. Link couldn't open doors as a wolf, so he headed into the next cell and pulled a chain down which opened a bar door. Link and the twilit creature traveled down until he saw a floating, glowing light.
"So hi, I'm Midna," the creature said, and then she turned to see a floating light. "Oh... Well, well... Eee hee hee! Want to see something interesting?"
"Maybe.. I think I'll pass though... Woah, I can still think!! SWEET!"
"Link, I don't like this 'thing.' I dont' trust her.. And she looks like a sl--- I mean, I like milk.."
"Riiiight... She can't be all bad, right Navi?"
"I don't know Link.. But here's some advice for now: Trust no one, not even yourself.."
"You're a beast, remember? Well, being that you're a canine, you can hone your sense and poke around! You never know what you might find!" Link 'honed' his senses and saw the spirit of a soldier. He listened to it.
"Huff... Huff... Can't... run... any... farther... That's... far enough... right? I'll be safe here... I think... What was that noise?! Don't... Don't anything come near me!" The soldier spirit seemed very paranoid. It was frightened, and acted almost as if it were... alive. It seemed alive, and yet did not seem to notice Link and Midna.
"That was a soldier's spirit. Maybe it's someone from the other world? Eee hee!"
"How the hell is that funny?!"
"Link, I told you... Be careful..."
"Psh, whatever Navi, I can take care of MYSELF! Although, Zelda might need a little protection... From Mr. Big Bad Wolf! DAAMN! I'm HOT as a wolf!!"
"Oh god Link... Can you please shu---" Navi had been abruptly cut off. Link turned to look up at Midna.
"Silly wolf, what are you doing?" She asked in her 'oh-you're-so-stupid' kinda way.
"There are lots of other spirits roaming about here, you know. Hone your senses to see them. They might know things..."
"Navi? Navi please answer me! Please! I'M SORRY!!" There was no response. Something had been fighting her... But what? Link was worrying about Navi. As he worried, they tried to get out of the strange place that they were in. As they traveled through, Midna stopped Link so she could say something.
"I doubt you're used to your new body yet, so I'll just tell you... Think about how you fought enemies in your human form... Just because your shape has changed doesn't mean your instincts have as well!"
"Well, I still think Zelda is hot and Navi still calls me perverted.. Navi.. Where is she?" Link continued through the shadowed building and found a chain hanging from the ceiling, similar to the one he had used earlier to escape the cells. He pulled it and it opened another door, in which a shadow creature came forth.
"Oh sure, I figure out how to open these freakin' doors and then I get attacked as a present! Oh yes, real nice!" They continued to search around the chambers. Link saw spikes and tried to walk across them.
"You stupid wolf! What is wrong with you? Those are pointy! Pointy DANGEROUS!" Midna giggled at his stupidity.
"Yeah, and Link HOTTNESS! See? I can do the math!!" Link waited for Navi to come in and think a message to him. He missed her telling him to shut up. Link found another chain. He bit and hung onto it. The chain opened a door on the ground level which let water in, and made the water level rise.
"COOL! Now I can swim over the spikes!! And now all the hot little evil shadow girlies can watch my smooth moves in the water!!" Link swam over the spikes to the other side. He attacked a shadow creature, and honed his senses to listen to another soldier spirit.
"What are these black things," the soldier asked himself. "Where are they coming from... And how do we get out of here?!"
"DON'T BE SO SELFISH!! What ever happened to the saying, hottness before age? Or was it age before beauty... Well, all this hottness shouldn't be contained in such a small area without a hot girl!!" Link explored and killed a few more enemies. When he ran down a path, Midna suddenly jumped off Link's back and disappeared behind a barred door.
"This way! Over here!" Link looked over to where Midna had disappeared to. "I'll be waiting for you, but you'll have to help yourself for a change!"
"BUT YOU DIDN'T HELP ME AT ALL!" Midna sat behind the bar and yawned. Link had no choice. He had to find his own way out. "Bitch..." Link decided he would do this calmly, and rationally...
"GAH!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!" Link thought as he ran around in circles like a rabid dog. He pulled down some more chains and eventually pulled one that opened another door which let the water out. Near that chain, he saw another soldier, and Link was now calm enough to listen to him.
"What are these black monsters... I've never seen anything like them..." Yeah, all the soldiers sounded the same. Link scurried away from the supposably crazed soldier spirit, in search of a way behind the bars. He then found a place to dig near the cell that Midna had deformed and reformed behind.
"Wow, being a wolf is awesome! I can crawl through holes in the wall! But this place REALLY needs a makeover.. I mean, chains hanging from the ceiling? COME ON! It looks so cheap!!" After Link had crawled through the hole, he saw another soldier.
"Please... I am but a lowly soldier. Please... Someone save me from these evil creatures... Ahhhh!"
"Jeez, what happened here? Everyone is a spirit, there's no people.. Only these twilit creatures and---- CHEESE! I want cheese..." Ok, yes, that was random for Link. But Link is strange, so moving on. Link searched around for some cheese, and then saw Midna and remembered he was to meet her behind the bars. Midna immediately jumped on his back.
"Eee hee! Awww, did the detour tire you out, little wolf?"
"No, still strong and hot!"
"By the way... Are you honing your senses like you should?"
"What is this, some kinda interrogation?! Well DUH! I'm a dog, that's what I do! And I drool over Zelda... And Ilia... And Beth... Why do I even like Beth, she's younger than me... Oh yeah, she's just hot... In my eyes... Haha... But now I have hot wolf eyes... Blue-eyed wolf, yep!"
"It looks like the spirits in here... They're all soldiers. Where in the world could we be? Eee hee!" Midna said in a teasingly voice. She knew exactly where they were. She HAD to know.
"If she says 'Eee hee' ONE more time, IT'S MIDNIGHT FOR MIDNA!!"
"You want out of here, right?" Midna asked Link, while slapping him on his front shoulder. "Ok! We're off!" Link ran into the next room where there were stories and stories of broken and collasped stairs. At the bottom of the room was a shallow pool of water. Link attempted to jump over a large gap and when he reached the other side, the stairs collapsed and Link fell into the water.
"Ugh... What are you doing?" Midna asked. Link fought the two little 'shadow maggots' and put them to their shame. He ran back up the steps to where he had fallen. Link stopped, wondering how he would get across.
"I guess I have to do EVERYTHING for you..."
"BUT YOU DO NOTHING! YOU YAWN ALL THE TIME!!"
"Look, I'll show you all the small ledges, so just target me and jump to where I am!"
"Actually, that's pretty cool..." Link tried it, and it actually worked. "Wow, I thought she was gonna make me fall on my ass so she could have a good laugh about it.. You know, 'Eee hee!' Grrrrrrrr..." Link ran up the rest of the broken steps, with Midna's help of course. Link got to a rope, and cautiously climbed across it. He ran up the rest of the steps afterwards. And FINALLY, he had reached the top.. As soon as he walked into the center of the room, 3 bats came flying at him. He had brought down all three. Link climbed the boxes and ledges to enable Midna's help. He was starting to become quite fond of the little... thing. He appreciated what she did for him. Sorta.
"God, I mean, her powers are kinda cool, but seriously! She just leaves me there at random times!!"
"So... You know where we are yet? Eee hee!"
"Oh no she didn't! She said it, didn't she?! Grrrr! And even if I did know where we were, how would I answer her? I mean REALLY!" Midna looked up to see a door swaying in the wind and banging against the wall.
"Well... if you go to the top, you might figure it out!" Link became slightly curious and decided to follow her advice. He climbed to the top near the door, and walked through. When he came out, he saw a large castle with dozens of towers. There were evil creatures flying around the palace. Where was he you may ask? I'm sure you have a pretty good idea. "And look at the sky! Isn't the black cloud of twilight looking beautiful today?"
"No."
"Do you know where this is? You STILL don't know? Eee he---"
"LALALALALALALA!! And how does SHE know that I don't know?! Didn't Zelda live in a palace like this? Oh wait... That means.. That she's... And I'm... YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!! But wait.. I'M A WOLF! NOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Look, there's someone I want to introduce you to... but I'll need you to go to that tower to do it!" Link ran through and over the roof tops as fast as he could. He saw another spirit while he was on his way their. Midna immediately recognized it.
"So there are even spirits up here, huh? This whole spirit thing is pretty new to you, isn't it?"
"Uh, not really. I was a hero in my past lives, I've seen scarier things.."
"Even though these guys can see those monsters, they don't know a thing about you!"
"Seriously? SWEET!"
"If you think I'm lying, why don't you check it out? Hone your fine senses... Eee hee!" Midna giggled... again. Link growled softly in anger, and listened to the spirit.
"What... What are these monstrous birds? What in the world is happening here? Ah, our poor Hyrule Castle!"
"Hy--- Hyhyhyhyhyhyhyyy Hyrule??? YES! I WAS RIGHT!! Oh my god, I was right."
"Eee hee! That wasn't the person I wanted you to meet, by the way... Well, let's just try and get to that tower." Link came across the monstrous birds, and took them out with just two strikes each. He knew who Midna wanted him to meet, and he didn't want to wait any longer. He ran up the path and onto a platform.
"Look! Just a little farther!" Link jumped to a very narrow roof, where he had to fight two more monstrous birds. After they were defeated, Link dashed down the narrow roof top and up onto a ledge and through a door. He came to stairs, which he jumped onto and ran up as quickly as possible, and maybe even faster. He came to two doors, one which was slightly ajar. He walked in to find someone draped with a cloak, looking out the window. Link began to growl, but Midna made him stop.
"...Midna?" the cloaked, girl I'm assuming, asked.
"Eee hee! You remembered my name? What an honor for me..." Link looked up and smiled at the cloaked girl.
"Wait, who the hell is this? I sense hottness, but I can't see it!!"
"So, this is the one for whom you were searching..."
"He's not exactly what I had in mind, but... I guess he'll do," Midna replied. The girl bent down to look Link straight in the eyes, and Link looked back.
"Wait... I know those eyes... Who's hot eyes..."
"... You were imprisoned?" The girl looked down in guilt, as if it were her fault. "I am sorry."
"Poor thing, he has no idea where this is or what's happened..."
"YES I DO!! This is Hyrule Castle, that is a hot girl from my past life, I turned into a wolf! I think I kinda noticed a little bit of what's going on!!"
"So, don't you think you should explain to him what you've managed to do? You owe him that much," Midna asked. "... Twilight Princess! Eee hee!" Link was still smiling idiotically, but the girl looked down at the ground, as if she was thinking about something.
"Listen carefully," she said, looking Link straight in the eyes. "This was once the land where the power of the gods was said to slumber. This was once the kingdom of Hyrule."
"Well ya, I knew that much!"
"But that blessed kingdom has been transformed by the king that rules the twilight... It has been turned into a world of shadows, ruled by creatures who fear the light." Her story then began. Soldiers were standing in the castle chambers, as hundreds of shadow creatures entered. They took all the men down, and the Twilight King had entered the room with two shadow creaures by his side.
"It is time for you to choose: surrender or die."
"Wow, doesn't exactly sound like a win-win situation..." Link thought to himself. He continued to listen to the story.
"Oh yes, a question for all the land and people of Hyrule... Life? Or death?!" the Princess felt that she had no choice, and dropped her sword. She surrendered the precious land that was once called Hyrule. People in the town watched at the castle seemed to burn. They had no idea what was going on, but then they had all turned to spirits. They had no idea what was coming, and what was being left behind.
"Twilight covered Hyrule like a shroud, and without light, the people became as spirits. Within the twilight, they live on, unaware that they have passed into spirit forms... All the people know now is fear... Fear of a nameless evil..."
"Jeez, I'd say it's you! It's your fault everyone's scared to death, even though they're already spirits!" She had finished her story. She turned back from looking out the large window.
"The kingdom succumbed to twilight, but I remain its princess..." She took off her hood, and revealed her true identity in quite an overdramatic way, "I am Zelda."
"YES! I KNEW IT WAS PRINCESS HOTTIE!!" Link howled at her in excitement.
"You don't have to look so sad!" Midna cried out to her. "We actually find it to be quite livable! I mean, is perpetual twilight really all that bad?"
"For you maybe not... Grrr..."
"Midna... This is no time for levity." Midna got off of Link and sat floating in the air with her back turned to Zelda. "The shadow beasts have been searching far and wide for you. Why is this?" While Zelda was speaking, Link was thinking something else..
"Hmmm, what's that smell? It smells gooood... It smells hot!" Link's nose had drifted him over to Zelda, and he began smelling her butt.
"Midna, what is he doing?" She asked, and chuckled slightly.
"Zelda, he's a dog. They do stuff like that. Now get over here you silly wolf! Eee hee!" Link growled at Midna. Midna shrugged at Zelda's question. "Why indeed? You tell me! Eee hee hee!"
"Time has grown short. The guard will soon make his rounds," Zelda said while looking at Link.
"She's so hooooott!!" Zelda pet Link, and rubbed his belly. His leg started to move uncontrollably. "Oh yeah.. Riiiight there baby... Ooooh, to the left... Awwww yeaaaah... That's the spot, right there... Ohhh yeahhh..."
"You must leave here, quickly." Midna hopped onto Link's back, and they left Zelda to herself, in her room. All alone. After they left the room, they ran down the stairs and heard the guard come through the door.
"Not that way! The guard's coming! Boy, he's prompt!" Midna looked around and remembered the door that they came in, and brought Link up there. She flew out to the roof, and Link followed. "Eee hee hee! Well? Do you understand where we are now?"
"Well DUH! Have I not been here for the past hour?!"
"I guess a promise is a promise, so I'll let you go back to where you first tumbled into the twilight..."
"Now I can be human again, thank god!! Being a wolf really sucks sometimes!"
"But... are you really sure you should be going back?"
"Ya duh!"
"Are you sure you aren't forgetting anything important?" Midna then morphed into an imitation of Ilia and Colin. Link gasped at her power. "Eee hee! Do you want to save them?" Link nodded, and Midna still hadn't morphed back to her orignial form. "Well, in that case, little Midna would be happy to help you!"
"... Ok, no seriously, what were you gonna say?"
"But..."
"Yes, of course, there's always a 'but.' I wish it would be Zelda's every once in a while... Or everytime actually... She's hot..."
"Well, you'd have to be my servant... and like a servant, you'd have to do exactly as I say!" Midna morphed back to original form. "Why don't you go back, take a little time, and give it some thought. Eee hee hee!" Midna transported Link back to the regular world.
"I'M A REAL BOY!!!! I'M A REAL BOY!!!! I'M A RE---"
"Oh, that's right. I forgot to mention one thing... Though you may have left the darkened realm, you haven't transformed back to your former self... and you won't anytime soon! Now why could that be?"
"AL BOY! I'M--" Link looked around, and then at himself. He was still indeed a wolf. "-- not a real boy..."
"Eee hee hee! See you later!" Midna had left, Link was in the regular world, and he was stuck there, as a wolf..
Link: Navi! Why did you just break off like that?
MissNavi: I thought she was avoiding you...
Link: SHUT UP! Now Navi! Please answer!
MissNavi: Link... You're still a wolf... How are you talking?
Link: No idea... I'm special :)
MissNavi: Yeah, special -cough ed cough-
Link: AM NOT! Now, Navi, please, just tell me why you stopped talking?
Midna: Who's this Navi you speak of? Eee hee hee! And little wolf, it's so nice to hear your actual voice! Well, not really!
Link: Midna?! What happened to Navi???
Midna: I know nothing of a Navi. Except for MissNavi, but that's basically it.
Link: Do you not read these stories?
Midna: You read?!
Link: YES I DO!! I'm not stupid!!
Midna: Well, first impressions are everything... And chill, I just got here! How am I supposed to read the other chapters that fast??
Link: Whatever... Wait, why are you here now?
Midna: Silly wolf! I am here because you are here and I need to watch you! Remember? I help you!
Link: No you don't! All you do is float there on your fat ass...
Midna: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
Link: I said I don't like crab grass.. Yeah, that's it!
Midna: Stupid wolf, I should've let you fall so I could have a good laugh about you falling on your ass.. Eee hee hee!
Link: I KNEW YOU WANTED TO DO THAT!!
Midna: Whatever... Navi isn't here, and I am now, so get used to it, Link!
Link: When does Navi come back?
Midna: Now that I help you, I don't think Navi will come back! She's gone! Buh bye! Now... Please review!
MissNavi: You just got here, how did you know to say that?
Midna: ... Have you NOT observed my power?
MissNavi: Okkk, whatever she means by that... Please review!!