Chap. 20

Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam….

"I told you it was amazing." Tierra said, as the group exited the main doorway of the Empire State Building.

"Yes, but you didn't say it would be so tall." Sokka muttered, his face still pale from his first view of the top; Sokka's first reaction upon reaching the roof and looking over it had been to stare for about ten seconds, then cry out in surprise and horror, then move back to the wall and cling to it until the group had left.

"How was I supposed to know you had a problem with heights?" the dog asked. "You spent the last few months riding around on a flying bison!"

"Yeah, but I can tell Appa to go down if I want." Sokka replied.

"Hey, I love the ground and the view didn't bother me." Toph replied.

"Yeah well, I'm not like….. oh wait." Sokka said, as he realized just what Toph had said to him.

"How many times is she gonna get you with that one?" Trueno said with a laugh. Sokka just muttered something and looked away.

"Don't worry about it. I even forget she's blind sometimes." The ram said back. He would've said more, but then Trueno took a look around and noticed something. "Where's Zuko and Jin?" he asked aloud.

"That's strange. I saw them come down in those doors from the top." Iroh said.

"They're probably just getting stuck with other stops on the elevator." Agua suggested. "It's a large building after all."

But that theory was shot down a few moments later, when Katara said, "Actually, I think they just had one stop, Agua; the bathroom." And then pointed to the main doors. Everyone turned then to see Zuko groggily making his way out, supported by Jin.

"Zuko, I told you not to look down." Iroh said with a shake of his head as his nephew made his way over.

"I'm guessing this has happened before?" Jin asked.

"Oh yes. Zuko has always had a problem with heights. They make him extremely sick. He's had that problem every since he was little. I remember one time just before a great feast that…."

"They… don't need to hear…. About that Uncle." Zuko said between breaths, as he got back on his own feet. "Besides, I did better this time."

"He did too." Jin added. "He was fine until we got to the ground, then he ran into the bathroom. He stumbled out a minute later and I helped him over here."

"Well, at least Sokka isn't alone anymore." Oscuridad added, gesturing over to the pale-faced Water-Tribesman. "So, any idea what's next?"

Tierra started to answer, but before he could, Hierro popped in. "Actually, I've got something that should be fairly entertaining. After Bosque and I took care of the money, he snuck back to the Square and looked over the ticket booth. Guess what's back in town, and at a discount price?"

"Oh God, please don't tell me we have to see Cats again." Luz moaned. "I have never wanted to die as much in my life."

"Hey, I liked it." Agua argued.

"Why am I not surprised to hear that?" Toph said.

"OK, OK, it was a bad choice." Hierro admitted. "But I managed to get something better- Spamalot!" the spider said, as he whipped out his arms, tickets in each hand.

"Are you serious?" Aire said, dashing forward and grabbing one of the tickets. "Dear God, I've wanted to see this forever! Finally, I'll be able to put those coconuts to good use!"

"When did you get coconuts? We've been in a much more then temperate zone, the coconuts' subtropical." Oscuridad asked.

"A swallow." The falcon replied.

"Not that I'm horribly uninterested and all, but what is Spamalot?" Sokka asked.

"It's a musical that's based off of this…. I guess story is the best word, called The Holy Grail. It's written by a comedy troupe called Monty Python, and it's friggin' hilarious." Tierra replied, taking back the role of tour guide. "I can't describe it to you in words, and you probably won't get all of it, but I can promise a good time. Even Toph will enjoy it, because most of the jokes are spoken, not acted."

"Sounds good to me." Aang said. "Where is it playing?"

"Better yet, when is it?" Iroh asked.

"It's maybe twenty blocks from here, and there's a special show starting at three today. What time is it now?" the spider asked, looking at Fuego. Checking the watch, the red man said, "Well, it's about four hours later then when we started, and that was at noon. So, it's about three o'clock I guess."

"Hmmm. And we've got a bit of a distance." Tierra said. "If we want to make it, we'd better start now. Come on, it's this way." The dog said, as he began to walk down the street, Aire bounding towards him in his eagerness.

"Come on guys, before we lose them." Oscuridad said, as he started to walk. The others followed suit, though Jin stayed behind a minute to make sure Zuko was ok.

"You sure that you're ok?" she asked the Fire Prince as he started to walk.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just not terribly happy." Zuko replied.

"Why? This sounds like fun." Jin said.

"It's a play. Back home, I hated going to plays and theatre; it was so stiff and boring."

"Well you're not home now, so maybe this will be different." Jin suggested. "Besides, Aire seemed pretty happy about it and he's a lot like a kid. If it was boring he'd hate it."

"Good point." Zuko added. "And besides, you seem pretty interested."

"Well, I didn't get to a lot of theatre. My parents spent most of their nights working, so I had to entertain myself. It'll be nice to let someone else do it for a change."

Twenty blocks later………

"This… had better….. be the …..greatest….play in the world." Jin gasped, as they finally reached the building where the play was taking place and gotten on line after being handed their tickets. The girl's face was drenched in sweat, even the cool weather, and she had been leaning on Zuko for the last five blocks. He had not grown tired; the time traveling with Iroh had given the former prince plenty of endurance.

"Are you ok now?" Zuko asked.

"I will be…. Once I sit down inside." Jin answered. A moment later though, she said, "Chiron, this had better be worth…. Crossing a dimension and walking across a city for."

"It will be." Aire said from the side. "Besides, the exercise is good for you."

"Oh knock it off." Jin replied. "I'm tired, ok?"

"Jin, you just have to look at things positively." The falcon said. "Remember, always look on the bright side of life." Promptly after saying that, the crowd whistled a melody.

"Sorry, I forgot about that." Aire said.

"What was that?" Zuko asked.

"Well, this story has a bit of a cult. You'll be surprised to see some things."

"Such as?" Jin asked. Instead of answering, Aire pointed to a man in the front of the line. The pair looked on at the man who was dressed in a full suit of armor who was simply standing there as if nothing was wrong.

"OK, that might be a little much." Jin said.

"Indeed." Zuko added. "Are there going to be a lot of those?"

Aire shrugged in reply, and turned his attention back to the line. Jin and Zuko did the same, as the line moved quickly and the group got inside the theatre. From there, it was a simple matter of finding their seats, and waiting for the show to start.

Finally, the curtain went up as the music began to play. As the group watched, a man in a suit and tweed jacket walked out onto the stage and over to a large map in the middle of it. Pointing to the landmass in the center, he began to speak, he voice echoing from the rafters.

England 932 A.D. A Kingdom divided. To the West, the Anglo-Saxons, to the East, the French. Above, nothing but Celts, and some people from Scotland. In Gwynned, Powys, and Dyfed- Plague. In the Kingdoms of Wessex, Sussex, and Essex, and Kent- Plague, with a 50 chance of pestilence and famine coming out of the Northeast and twelve miles per hour. Legend tells us of an extraordinary leader, who arose from the chaos, to unite a troubled kingdom. A man with a vision who gathered Knights together in a Holy Quest. This man was Arthur, King of the Britons. For this was England!

Just as the man finished, the screen behind him went up and revealed a group of strangely dressed people who began to sing about Finland. The Knights laughed hysterically as the performers began to slap each other with fish, while the Avatar Gang looked on in amused curiosity.

"Well, this definitely isn't like the theatre back home." Zuko said.

"Didn't that guy say England?" Toph asked.

"Just wait." Aire replied, as the man came out and said, "I said, ENGLAND." The performers quickly apologized and left, as the scenery changed to the setting of two large castle towers. The sound of hooves could then be heard, as the group anticipated a horse walking out on stage. Instead, they saw a man hopping along and pretending to ride a horse, while another man followed him clapping coconuts together. The Avatar Gang stared and laughed at that, but they laughed harder as the guards in the tower began to ask the man where he'd gotten the coconuts. "Now it makes sense." Katara said, as she giggled.

The play progressed onwards, moving from various scenes. The first depicted a man attempting to add to the annual cart of dead people, even though the addition claimed 'I'm not dead.' To the point where he went into song about it. As the group kept watching, they began to enjoy the play more and more, as they met the voice of God, the Knights Who Say 'Ni', The Black Knight, and all the other lunatics that populated the world of Spamalot. Even Zuko began to laugh after a while, and when the play finally ended, the entire group stood up and gave a standing ovation to the cast.