Athrun was ushered through the kitchen, the informal dining room, and into the landing on the first floor. Kira was pacing about, a mobile phone held to his ear, his shoes squeaking on the marble tiles. Nearby, a young woman whom Athrun recognized as one of Cagalli's official press team was at a desk, also taking calls and scribbling notes. Kira caught sight of him and gave a nod of recognition while saying "Yes, well, if the official press statement says so….Eeto, that's out of topic. I'm sorry but I have to disconnect." With a look of disgust he cut off the call and paced towards the raven-haired Coordinator. "Athrun! I'm glad you made it here quickly. Sorry about having to transport you in the fruits and vegetables truck."

"It's all right." Athrun laughed. "Although I haven't had to travel in secret for a very long time. You've become quite the public relations officer."

Kira sighed, a vein almost popping from his forehead. "I can't believe how snoopy the media is around here! The press team was forced to release a statement of illness to explain why Cagalli's absent from her duties. Now that I'm here, the reporters are harassing me as well." At this point they had gone up the stairs to Cagalli's door. "Miriallia and Dearka are in there, so I guess she's awake. She's calmed down some, but she seems so…ano…out of touch. Talking to you might help her."

"I hope so. Thanks, Kira. For telling me about it."

The former Freedom pilot put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Please help my sister, Athrun. I don't know what to do anymore."

Athrun's shoulders slumped a little. "I don't know either, Kira. Right now I have more questions than answers."

Just then Kira's phone rang again, and with a murmur of "Excuse me for a minute", he walked down the hall.

With a heavy sigh, Athrun knocked on the carved double doors and pushed them open.

"I'm really sorry that you had to do all the work because of me, Miri. If I'd known I would leave so much paperwork behind, I wouldn't have killed myself." Cagalli's voice drifted through the doorway, followed by a sarcastic laugh. "Or maybe doing all that bureaucratic junk would've killed me sooner!"

"Now, don't talk like that, Cagalli," Miriallia replied gently. "Oh, Athrun, there you are."

"Here's the prince to see his lady love," Dearka teased, receiving a sharp elbow from Miriallia. The two were sitting near Cagalli, side by side.

Athrun almost swore that the room grew quiet as he went toward the bed where the blond princess was sitting. The effect of her clean white nightgown was marred by the thick bandage around her wrist and the blank look on her face. "Hi…." Hi Cagalli, you're not dead, which is great news. And just what were you thinking, cutting your wrist like that? "Um, I got you some. Flowers." He held out the large bunch of elegant Casablanca lilies. He knew they were her favorite kind.

She accepted the bouquet without a word, placing them in her lap and staring down at the pink-white blossoms.

"Aren't those pretty?" Miri chirped. "Dearka, why don't you give Athrun your chair? I think," and she stood up as well, "that these two have a LOT of catching up to do and WE had better get going. Time and paperwork wait for no one!" With bright smiles at the "two" being spoken of, she dragged a very confused Dearka out of the room and closed the doors.

Then, the room was silent.

Athrun sat in one of the vacant chairs, not quite believing that the girl sitting in bed was Cagalli. She seemed thinner than before. Her hair was quite scraggly, and there were dark circles under her eyes. She used to have such a determined expression on her face; today, there was only defeat.

He wondered if he ought to wait for her to speak, when she finally did.

"I told Kira not to. But he told you anyway." She was still staring at the lilies.

"He felt that it was the right thing to do. I agree with him."

"Hn." A sniffle, then Cagalli's fists clenched on the bedspread. "You shouldn't…have to…." she choked, "…see me like this!" Then her head slumped over the flowers, a large tear dropping over the lily leaves.

"Cagalli…." Instantly he was beside her, resting her head against him. "It's okay. I'm here."

"NO!" she sniffed. "It's not okay! I said I could be strong, but I'm not strong. Would a strong person do this?" She thrust out the bandaged wrist. "And I even did it TWICE!" She ran a finger over the scar on her left wrist as she cried like a repentant sinner.

Athrun tightened his hold on her, unsure of himself. She was sobbing so much that she was coughing. What should I do? he wondered. Well, what CAN I do?

"I'm messed up," she groaned, burying her face in his chest. "Oh, good Haumea, I'm all mixed up."

"Athrun seems to be so busy these days. It's been ages since we last saw him," Lunamaria mused, tucking her daughter Sophelia back into the baby pram. The child had been born with a full head of shiny red hair, the genetic heritage of her parents.

Shinn snorted. "He's always going off somewhere. I always knew there was something sneaky about him -ow! Why are you hitting me, Luna?"

"If I weren't across the table from you, Shinn, I'd hit you too," Meyrin scowled. "Bad-mouthing someone like that when he's not here to defend himself."

"Err…." Shinn gulped, suddenly caught between the evil stares of two redheaded sisters in a very posh restaurant. "Sorry."

"Good," Luna nodded in self-righteous satisfaction. "But seriously, Meyrin, you give Athrun too much attention. It's bad for both of you."

"I do not!" the younger Hawke sister declared, crossing her arms. "Not really."

"I'm sure there are other men out there just like him. Why don't you give yourself a chance to like somebody else?" Luna persisted.

Meyrin felt her eyes prickle, and she shifted her gaze to Sophelia, who was peacefully sleeping in her pram. "You're wrong," she said at length. "There is no one else like him."

"Ssshhh. It's over now. You're safe." Athrun hoped he sounded convincing as he rocked Cagalli gently and patted her hair. She had quieted down somewhat, though her narrow shoulders still shook from the force of her sobs.

Kira's head popped in from the doorway. "Is-is everything all right in here?" he asked nervously, as though expecting to see his sister in a wild rampage.

"We're fine," Cagalli mumbled grumpily, trying not to hiccup. "Are you going to watch me break down again, huh?"

Athrun had to smile as her personality surfaced. "It's fine, Kira. I've got her."

Kira pondered for a moment, then shrugged. "Well, okay. Now I have to ward off some annoying media people. I'll get back when I can." Then he closed the doors.

"He always tries to do the right thing," Athrun chuckled. Then nuzzling Cagalli, he murmured, "I see that your bad temper has returned."

"Hmph," the injured girl huffed, nuzzling him back. Her slightly swollen brown eyes looked up at him. "Let's go to the window seat."

He offered her a hand to get up, but she waved him off. Reluctantly he paced to the window seat, sat down – and stared in shock as Cagalli reached into a nearby drawer and fished out a pack of cigarettes, a pink lighter, and a bright red ashtray.

As she lit up a stick, he said carefully, "When did you start smoking?"

"Since the job of being Head Representative started to piss me off," Cagalli answered, plopping into the window seat and placing the ashtray and lighter on the windowsill.

"Hrmmm." The green-eyed Coordinator sighed. "You could have told me about it."

"If I did, you'd tell me to stop smoking and I can't. I've been lighting up for quite some time." She blew a puff of smoke out the open window.

"I wasn't talking about your smoking." He looked at her gravely. "Running a country is a tough job for anyone. But you don't have to suffer the problems alone. You can always talk to me about them. I thought I was the one who knew you best." Gently he touched the ashtray. "But it turns out that I'm always the last person to know."

Cagalli flicked some ash into the small red bowl. "If I had told you that I was sick of politicians trying to prove that I was no good, or that I was fed up with trying to enforce a truce on warring states, or that the other Orb reps are advising me to marry men that I couldn't care less about, what would you have done? Would you rush to Orb in your Gundam, pick me up, and run off with me to the edge of the universe?"

"I could do that. Or I could resign from Martius, and stay by your side like I used to."

She snorted. "That's no good. Everyone already knows who Alex Dino really is." She inhaled sharply from her cigarette. "Besides, I know you can't leave your job, just like I can't leave mine. I mean, look at Dearka. He left ZAFT to be here with Miri, and he's been reduced to a used-car salesman. He doesn't complain, but Miri knows he's not really happy. Also, you and I have too many responsibilities that keep us apart, for the sake of changing Earth and the PLANTs." She lowered her lashes and tugged at her necklace. "It's like there's you…and there's me…and the universe is in between."

Athrun reached towards her and lifted her necklace pendant. It was the ring he'd given her, so long ago. "But you wear this still."

The blond princess gave a quick, sad laugh. "Oh, I guess I sort of promised myself that I would keep wearing it until the day I died." She laughed again, shaking her head in mock disbelief as she stubbed out her cigarette. "Until the day I died."

He took her right arm and gazed pointedly at the bandage on her wrist. "So you weren't planning to wear it for a very long time."

She drew her arm back. "Look, maybe I'm just TIRED of everything, okay? I'm tired of being trapped in this stupid life of mine. I had to take matters into my own hands." Quickly she lit another stick.

"Well, what about me?" He couldn't keep his voice from rising. "Did you ever think about how I would feel once I found out that you were dead? That I was all alone?"

Cagalli dropped her gaze. "There's always Meyrin," she murmured, casually blowing smoke out the window.

"Leave Meyrin OUT OF THIS!" He clenched his fist at his side, fighting the urge to knock that annoying cigarette out of her fingers. "How can you say something like that? Meyrin isn't you…Cagalli. It's not the same thing. She's not the girl I met once on an island. She's not the girl I gave that ring to." His vision turned cloudy. "If you were gone, I…I wouldn't know what to do anymore. I've lost too many loved ones. I'm not ready to see another gravestone, especially not yours."

She looked straight at him, wide-eyed.

He leaned back against the window, fighting back tears, and noticed the brownish bloody spot on the carpet. "Did you think that if you died, the world would stay the same? What about the people you left behind?" Miguel…Nicol…Heine…so many others lost in the war…. "Would they go on living their lives as though nothing happened? Everyone is important to someone. You CAN'T just decide to die." He looked at the cigarette butt in the ashtray. "It's selfish."

Furiously Cagalli threw her half-finished cigarette out the window. "Well, maybe I AM selfish! But so what? I've given up my time and energy for the people of Orb. Can't I be selfish, even just a little? Don't I own my life anymore? If I make the lives of many citizens happy, but I can't reach my own happiness, what's the point?" Her fingers raked through her hair. "I can't take it anymore! If I can't be with you, then what's the point of even staying alive, huh?"

"Cagalli…." What did we ever do to deserve this pain? We only wished to love. Slowly, his arms reached to gently embrace her. She struggled against him for a moment before breaking down in tears. "I'm sorry." He hadn't seen her this sad and angry since the time when they both believed that Kira had died by Athrun's hand. "I wish I had all the answers now, but until I do, until WE do, you can't die on me."

She sighed in exhaustion. "I don't know, Athrun." Her shaking hands grasped his. "I'm just so tired. I wish I could just fly away and leave everything. But so many things weigh me down."

"You could do that, you know." His cheek rested on her shoulder. "Fly away. I'll take you far away from here."

She shook her head, as though refusing. "I can't leave Orb, really. What would happen if I did? Miri's the only sensible government official I know."

With sudden inspiration, Athrun stood up. "We'll see about that."

She watched him nervously. "What are you planning to do?"

He opened that door and looked around the hallway. Kira was just coming in from the top of the stairs. "Where are Dearka and Miriallia?"

Kira looked surprised. "They just left the estate."

"I need to call them back. It's about Cagalli." I'm getting her out of here, no matter what.

"Absolutely NOT. Out of the question." Kisaka frowned and leaned back in his chair, arms crossed.

Kisaka, Athrun, Cagalli, Kira, Dearka, and Miriallia were seated around a table in the library beside Cagalli's room. Kisaka's reply to Athrun's suggestion definitely increased the tension in the air.

Athrun threw his hands up in emphasis. "Sir, it's just for a month. Surely your press team could make up an alibi for her, like, hmmm, she was going on charitable missions around the world and preferred to remain anonymous?"

"That sort of story won't hold up for a day!" Kisaka leaned on the table. "I don't think you fully understand Lady Cagalli's situation. There are political families in Orb who would take steps to undermine her authority if she were absent for merely half a day." He glanced at the blond girl who sat quietly beside Athrun. "She is a responsible leader and she understands the burdens she must bear for Orb and the world. I'm already risking much by tolerating your relationship with her. But what you ask is unacceptable."

"You're the one who doesn't understand!" Athrun grabbed Cagalli's right arm and held it up for all to see the thick bandage. "Fine, I get it, she's got political duties. Is that all she is now? Duty?" He put her arm down. "And speaking of duty, YOU were supposed to look out for her. Yet you just stood there and let her try suicide TWICE! Is dying the only way she can take a break, huh?"

"Yo, Athrun, calm down." Dearka made a placating gesture with his hands.

Kisaka looked contrite after Athrun's outburst. He sat back and rubbed his forehead. After a long pause, he said, "I admit that I was remiss in my duties and I can assure you that it won't happen again. But for her to leave her seat for a month…. The fact remains that she is the Head Representative."

"The fact remains that she is human. A 21-year-old human," Athrun argued. I'm wasting time. I WON'T take no for an answer. He sat back, as though thinking hard, then suddenly he pulled Cagalli to his chest, making her gasp – and pointed a pocketknife to her throat.

Miriallia choked back a scream.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Kira shouted.

"If you won't hand her over nicely, then I'm going to have to kidnap her! And you'll NEVER see her again. The media will definitely enjoy that! Then you'll have REAL problems," Athrun explained through gritted teeth, a manic gleam in his eye. "Nobody move! Or she's dead."

The blond princess didn't struggle in her captor's arms, just closed her eyes, as though death was no longer a threat to her.

"Please, Mr. Zala, this isn't necessary-" Kisaka began.

Everyone else sucked in his or her breath as the knifepoint was pushed higher, almost cutting into skin.

The green-eyed Coordinator sneered. "Oh yes, it's absolutely necessary."

"I'm going with Athrun."

All eyes were on Cagalli as she spoke for the first time during that meeting.

Athrun blinked. "What did you say?"

In a firmer tone, she repeated. "I'm going with Athrun. That's what I've decided. So everyone please shut up and stop shouting. I hate it when people fight. And Athrun, don't you dare point a knife at me again. Ever." Hurriedly, a surprised Athrun put his pocketknife away and released his hold.

Cagalli shifted back into her seat.

"But what about-" Kisaka argued.

With her bandaged hand, she waved him off. "It's just for a MONTH. Just have my press team make up a good, believable story. And Miri is an excellent Secretary of State. She can handle my paperwork better than I ever could."

"Yes, don't worry about a thing," Miri nodded quickly.

Cagalli Yula Attha, Head Representative, stood up and grabbed Athrun's arm. "Let's get out of here."

Still not completely comprehending, Athrun stood up, leaving four very stunned people in the room.

When the two of them reached the hallway, the raven-haired Coordinator pulled Cagalli close and looked at her with admiration. "I can't believe what just happened. You were amazing back there."

Her brown eyes shimmered as she hugged him back. "So were you. Although I didn't expect you to do something that weird." She laughed softly. "Would you really do that? Kidnap me, I mean?"

"I would," he replied earnestly. "But, what made you decide to go? You didn't think it was a good idea before."

"There was a knife at my neck, and I didn't feel scared at all. So I thought, if I'm not afraid to die, there's nothing else I should be afraid of doing." She rested her cheek against his chest. "But Athrun, you could have it so easy. You could have any girl you wanted. A girl who wasn't suicidal and wouldn't give you a hard time."

He sighed into her hair. "Maybe I don't want my life to be easy. And having a hard time is fine. If it's you, then it's fine."

She tried to pout. "I hate it when you're being so nice."

"You still call me nice even after I stick a knife at you?"

She didn't say anything, just hugged him tighter. I wonder, how long can you really put up with me?