Chapter Six: Complicated Questions

Tear me from these complicated questions
Taking all the empty spaces inside me
But complicated answers never did you any justice anyway
Complicated as we are, we're going have to burn it all away

Finger Eleven

…

"Addison, are you going to tell me what's going on?" Derek demanded as they finally arrived at Seattle Grace Hospital. The only thing she'd told him was that they needed to get to the hospital, although she wouldn't say more than that.

"Yeah, Mommy, you're seriously freaking us out," Elena added worriedly.

Addison, however, took a deep breath and did her best to remain calm as the elevator doors opened. "I just have to make sure before I say anything; there's no point in worrying everyone over nothing."

"Is everything all right with Cristina and Preston's baby?" Derek questioned; however, Addison's silence said it all.

In Cristina's room, Addison, Derek, and Elena were met by the smiling faces of their friends who were anxiously awaiting little Lillian's birth. It was obvious that none of them knew what was really going on, and the others forced a smile so as not to worry them.

Alex Karev, however, was the exception. His eyes met Addison's and while everyone else chatted away cheerfully, they inconspicuously walked out of the room and into the hall. Wordlessly, he handed her a printout of the ultrasound and confirmed her worst fear.

"So I was right, then?" he asked, and she nodded.

The mass on baby Lillian's right lung was painfully obvious as Addison stared at the ultrasound printout. From the image and Alex's report of the baby's slowly decreasing vitals, she was only all too aware of the potential consequences. "Why didn't you diagnose this earlier, Karev?" she demanded.

"Whoa… Calm down. I'm not Cristina's primary physician; hers is out of the country, so I took over for her. I've seen the scans, and the growth wasn't there two months ago. Whatever it is, it's growing fast."

Addison sighed. "All right. We need to deliver this baby and operate as soon as possible to avoid further damage. Would you like for me to tell them or…?"

"I'll tell them. Cristina's my friend, and I'm her doctor… so I should be the one to tell her, right?" he said, although it seemed as though he was trying to reason with himself. However, he was finding it difficult to come up with the words to tell his friend that her unborn daughter could possibly be dying. With strangers, it was like a routine. Like a script read off of a page. But when it was a friend, all the rules changed.

"Cris… Chief Burke… Can I talk to you guys… alone?" Alex said hesitantly, causing everyone to look up at him in concern. It wasn't like Alex to be at a loss for words.

"Alex, what's going on?" Izzie questioned, her unease growing as she saw the look on her husband's face.

Cristina, however, didn't seem to care whether or not there were other people in the room. "Is something wrong with my baby?" she demanded fearfully, taking her husband's hand into hers.

"I'm sorry, Cristina, but we found a mass on Lillian's right lung," he explained regretfully, handing her the ultrasound image so that she could see for herself.

"Oh, God…" was all she could manage to whisper.

"But there was no mass on the last ultrasound," Burke stated, as though trying to convince himself that this was impossible, even though he knew that it was true. After all, he was holding the proof in his hands.

Addison put her hand on his arm in reassurance as she said softly, "It's obviously very aggressive, Preston. The sooner we operate, the better her chances will be. We'll take good care of her, all right?"

"Come on, you guys. I think we should give them a minute," Meredith said suddenly, ushering their shocked circle of friends out toward the waiting room. It broke her heart to see her friend that way, but she knew Cristina and understood that she would want some time alone for the news to sink in.

"Mommy, I need to go potty!" Sophie announced urgently, pulling on her mother's skirt. The twins were just beginning their potty-training regiment, and anyone within a twenty-foot radius knew that.

"Okay. Lydia, do you need to go?" Izzie asked, but Lydia shook her head and continued playing some sort of block game with Aaron and Hayden. "What about anyone else?"

Meredith stood and took Aida from Derek's arms. "She needs a diaper change. And Elle, I brought you a change of clothes so you can be more comfortable while we wait," she offered.

Elena nodded and took Meredith's outstretched hand; the tension and worry in that waiting room was almost overwhelming, and she was thankful for the chance to get away for just a moment.

…

"Elle, I just realized that I completely forgot to ask about your interview," Meredith remarked as the little girl sat on the bathroom counter, tying her pink Converse sneakers.

"It's okay; there's a lot going on," she assured her, then grinned. "But I got in. I'm gonna be in William's class." Howeer, before Meredith could even praise her, she wondered, "Is Cristina's baby gonna be all right? Mommy and Alex looked worried and… well, I guess it just makes me worry, too."

"We just have to hope for the best, Sweetheart. That's all we can do. Your mom and Alex are great surgeons, and they'll do their best. We just have to wait and see what happens… and go from there," she whispered, doing her best not to start tearing up. She heard Izzie force back a sniffle, and she felt a sharp pang of fear run through her chest.

The only thought that was running through Meredith's mind was that Cristina and Burke's baby had to be all right. Things like this happened to other people, not them, right? As a doctor, she knew that her reasoning made absolutely no sense; but as a friend, she hoped desperately that wishing would be enough.

Then, in true Izzie form, she suggested, "Why don't we go to the gift shop and pick something out for Lillian? I saw the cutest teddy bears that come with a little pen so you can write messages and things. Wouldn't that be nice?"

Elena nodded and agreed, "I think that's a really good idea. Shopping as always a good idea."

"So, we're going teddy bear shopping, then," Meredith stated, and Sophie clapped excitedly.

"Teddy bear!" the little girl echoed excitedly, and the others smiled, too. Her cheerful innocence reminded them that, no matter what was to come, very rarely is anything ever really as bad as it seems.

Twenty minutes later, the five of them had virtually invaded the gift shop and began searching for the perfect gift for Lillian.

Immediately, Elena spotted the bears that Izzie had spoken of and held it up. "Found it!" she announced, holding the big pink bear up for Meredith and Izzie to see.

However, she also attracted the attention of another member of the Grey family who just happened to be walking by the gift shop at precisely the moment Elena spoke. "Lamb, what are you doing in the hospital, huh?" Lexie questioned, catching the little girl's attention.

Lexie Grey was a second-year surgical resident and, like her older sister, already had a reputation for being one of the most promising future surgeons in the program. She was like her older sister in other ways, too, but Meredith made sure that her little sister stayed out of trouble. Lexie often joked that Meredith was in the running for the title of "the Nazi," currently held by Dr. Miranda Bailey, but all the others would have pinned the title for Cristina Yang.

"Lexie!" Elena exclaimed happily. For the short amount of time that they'd known one another—Meredith hadn't fully reconciled with her father until shortly before Hayden's birth—the two were extremely close. Since the distance wasn't very far between Cambridge and Manhattan, Lexie often went to New York for some much-needed "family time" with her sister's step-daughter. And ever since, Elena had been Lexie's "Lamb."

"Hey, shouldn't you be with your resident?" Meredith questioned, completely surprised at the fact that she was now a grown-up and a voice of reason.

But Lexie only grinned and let Aida grip her tiny hand around her forefinger. "My liver transplant patient was discharged today, so I was just walking her out to say good-bye. I don't have a new assignment yet, but I was on my way upstairs to get one when I saw Lamb and wondered what was going on. So, what's the deal?"

"Cristina's in labor," Meredith revealed.

"Whoa… I bet the Chief is freaking out royally," Lexie joked but, upon seeing the grim look on her sister's face, her smile faded. "Mer, what's wrong?" But before anyone could speak, Lexie's pager went off. "It's a 911 from maternity," she whispered, and though no one said anything else, they all knew who it was.