Sitting On The Baby By HPOD sufferer
Date: Saturday, 29th April , 8:39PM
Rating: K+ (Scary and Supernatural themes may scare young children, includes character death)
Summary: Sirius bounded into the compartment, making to sink into the seat next to Lily. The seat in which a sleeping baby...well, slept.Eyes popping, James grabbed his friend's wrists, stopping him from sitting. Sirius Black was frozen in a strange, half-sitting, half-standing position. Lily grabbed the baby quickly, and James released his friend."You know," said Lily " Baby sitting doesn't usually consist of actually sitting on the baby."
A baby has appeared. Where from? Why? Who does the baby belong to? Harry travels to Marauder Era. AS A BABY! Something went seriously wrong on that Halloween night.
Chapter 4: Never Have Children
One piece of advice, that no-one ever listens too
Is to never have children, you don't what they'll do.
In these dark times, we don't have time enough,
To let the next generation loose, the world is too tough.
But Mysteries arising, from unfortunate things;
Be wary my friends, of what the future brings.
It had only taken the ring of the bell to convince James to leave the desk- with a grumble he shouldered his bag and scooped up Harry in his spare arm. As he ducked into a secret passageway that would lead his right outside the Transfiguration classroom, he spared himself a moment to think.
It was probably some fluke. There were heaps of Potters, his family couldn't be the only one.
A niggling doubt remained though- James had only one aunt on his father's side, who had married a Muggle-born. The boy, Harry, could not possibly be related to him. Remus was right- James's parents would not be having anymore children.
James knew it was impossible for a child to be born without certain things happening...and since he himself was as virginal as baby Harry probably was (to stop his thoughts wandering down that path any further, he started shaking his head like an enraged bull, receiving looks from his friends) it was impossible that he was the father.
It was most definitely a fluke. Or a joke.
He wanted to meet the mastermind behind it.
He shuffled into the classroom, eyes still glazed and sat. Harry sat peacefully in his arms.
It was when the looming shadow of the professor that he was dragged from his thoughts.
With a jump of surprise, he found the whole class was sniggering-at him. Looking around, checking his glasses were on properly, he found nothing out of place.
"Ahem."
James twisted around, to find himself looking into Lily Evan's eyes. Harry giggled.
James had not realised, in his daydream, that the tables had moved around since last year. He had sat down where his legs told him he should sit. Unfortunately (or fortunately, if you looked at it his way), he had sit in the Head girl's unsuspecting lap. She glared at him.
James jumped, apologising profusely and wondering why he always acted so stupid around her. He slipped meekly into his seat beside Sirius-who happened to have his head under the table in an effort to stem his laughter. Strangely, everyone was still snickering, looking at him and talking behind their hands.
"Puffy!" Harry laughed, clapping his small hands together.
"You're hair's white," Remus whispered into James hair. James looked at Remus, with a 'tell me your joking' look.
Feeling most foolish, James got out his wand and pointed it at his head. The white powder disappeared, and with a piercing look from professor McGonagall, the class settled down.
While James turned Peter into a rat (Peter was actually using his Animagus abilities, but it was not as if McGonagall knew any better) he formulated a slightly different scenario of the beginning of the lesson- for one, Lily was on his lap, as they relaxed on a patio. They both had white hair, and wedding rings worn out form years of wear on their fingers. Babies, lots of them surrounded the couple.
James smiled goofily.
"Mr Potter, could you please restrain your charge!"
James glanced around. "Pardon?"
"POTTER!"
James found McGonagall, standing at the front of the class. And there, hugging her legs together so tight she was about to fall over, was Harry. "Kitty!" Harry told James gravely. "Bad kitty."
James tried very hard to not crack a smile, honest.
And that's what he told his stern-looking Transfiguration professor at the end of the period.
He had used all his effort not to laugh, he really did.
He continued to explain.
He didn't think it was funny, not at all, he swore on his son's grave.
McGonagall gave him a night's detention.
James growled and went on a monologue about the cruelty of yesteryear's generation all the way to potions. "I mean, I think she actually enjoys giving me detention, I swear!" James gasped as he pulled out his Advanced Potion Making and setting it on the desk with a snap. Sirius and Remus nervously sat down, feigning interest as Professor Slughorn waddled into view. James took the opportunity to glare at everyone in the room bar Lily. Yes, that girl over there had probably done him some wrong, as had Frank Longbottom (neither had been anything but kind to him, but in his foul mood, James did not take this in) and as his eyes settled on a greasy haired boy in the corner, scribbling furiously in his potions book, James felt his stomach flip with dislike. Severus, commonly known as 'Snivellus' Snape.
"Oho, alright!" Slughorn boomed. James tore himself away from trying to kill Snape with a mental laser beam to listen to the instructions. Baby Harry sat quietly, eyeing the Potions master with a wary sense, most likely because last time they had met, he had been held up a good six feet form the floor by the man.
James propped Harry on the desk and pulled out his ingredients, turning to page 312.
Woman's Root Brew, also known as The Contraceptive Potion.
James nudged Sirius and they exchanged a rowdy grin, quickly kindling their fires and making sure the water was set to boil.
"Now, as this Potion actually originated from the Americas, there are some ingredients you will not have, so they will be left out here for your use!" Slughorn warned the class, waving a podgy hand at a bunch of dried, wrinkly, shrivelled or hairy ingredients. With a glance at the list, James made his way up to the front of the class.
He left Harry behind.
"One of them...and three of these...maybe a bit more..." James quickly calculated how much he needed as he grabbed the items. Someone jabbed him hard in the shoulder as they bent to get a root, and James sneered at the back of Snape's head. "Hello, slime ball, surely you've tried one of those hair cleaning potions by now, since you love them so much!" He sneered.
"I haven't the time, blood traitor!" Snape hissed through his teeth, taking a pinch of evaporated milk.
"Hark who's taking...you're not even pure-blooded!" James said, lowering his voice as not to be heard by a nearby Lily. He noticed Snape's fingers twitching toward his pocket, where James knew his wand was burning to be used. With a smirk James turned and returned to his table. It was a sign of self-confidence that he let his back be turned on the steaming Slytherin.
But what he saw when his eyes latched onto his table was hardly more pleasant than what he'd left behind.
Little Harry, delight in his eyes, had decided to take his hand to Potion making.
James thought, much later, that it was probably a lucky thing too. The boy could have played with the fire.
Nevertheless, James was not pleased to see the pink liquid burbling away in his cauldron. Heart pounding (with anger or fear he was not certain) he removed Harry from the desk and put him under the table, out of harm's way. He sank into his seat, wondering what to do. It was too far into the class to start again: he would fail. Continue with what he had: he would fail. It was a lose-lose situation.
And it was getting worse. James could hear Slughorn's momentous footsteps coming his way to survey his progress. He prepared for a scolding as the large man paused, peering over his shoulder.
"Oho. OHO!" Slughorn exclaimed.
James cringed.
"My dear boy, may I have a word?" Slughorn questioned, his voice growing soft and serious. James nodded, still staring at his hands. He could feel the man's hot breath on his neck. He felt miserable.
"Have you made this before?" Said the professor's voice.
"N-no, sir. Never seen it before sir," James stammered (although it was not entirely true, it was in effect, honest for the most part).
"Well, my, my, my!"
James dared to look up. He almost fell out of his chair in shock. Slughorn was glowing down at him, a look a young child gives a cookie jar just after they've been told they can eat the whole lot shining in his eyes.
"Gather around, boys and girls, Mr Potter's Potion….well, see for yourselves!" Slughorn said, beckoning the rest of the class over. Sirius and Remus stared flabbergasted at James. They had been watching his despairing last few moments and now…
Snape sniffed the potion. "Doesn't smell right," he grumbled.
"Now, now Mr Snape, don't be too harsh!" Slughorn said, clapping James merrily on the back- nearly sending the thin boy head first into his cauldron.
Slughorn declared it was time for people to cork and bring a sample of their potion for testing to him, and to pack away. Grinning like a Cheshire cat, James deposited the phial on the desk and packed his cauldron away. His grin faded when Lily pushed past him out the door.
"How did you do that?" Sirius asked for the up tenth time as they sat down for lunch. Peter parked himself across from the two dark haired young men and glanced at them briefly. "Got that baby off your back did you, eh Prongs?" he commented cheerfully, tucking into his ham and cheese pie.
James's head lifted, and his stared dumbfounded at the porky boy.
Ten seconds later he was running to the oak doors, screaming "Shit, HARRY!"
"I guess not?" Peter said amiably, seemingly unaware of the panic he'd caused.
Prongs: Never having children…ever.
Sirius peeked at the note James had passed him.
Padfoot: But that means no s-e -
Moony: Don't write that word, Sirius!
Padfoot: -x. Calm down Moony.
Prongs: I am calm!
Padfoot: Is your name Moony?
Prongs: No.
Padfoot: Hangman?
Prongs: Only if I get to go first.
Remus heaved a sigh as his friends played hangman during History of Magic. He honestly didn't know why they had done the subject, except it was one of the few Peter had scraped a pass in. Friends stick together.
Little Harry had become his object of care for the period after a foolish suggestion that he help James. As much as the little boy didn't bother him, he still wouldn't be extending the favour again. He prayed he would remember to untie his shoelaces before he endeavoured to stand up. Harry had made sure they were fixed together pretty tight, and Remus didn't want to fall over.
"And as you know, Morgan Le Fay was a blurhhhhhh…….." Remus's ears had switched off.
He bent down and picked up the boy. The boy looked up at him.
"Hawwy wikes Moomy."
"Yes, we'll find you're mummy soon." Remus smiled kindly.
"Hawwy wants play wif Moomy." Remus suppressed a chuckle.
"Let's see, judging on how you say mummy, I'm guessing you're from the north, am I right?" Remus asked.
"Moomy goes AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The little boy imitated a wolf poorly.
Remus smacked a hand over the child's mouth, but the damage was done. The class turned to the pair (except James and Sirius, so ingrossed in their game of hangman they were) and locked their eyes on the howling black haired baby. Professor Binns continued to drone, totally oblivious to the class' change of occupation.
"An den he go GRRRRRRRRRRR and-" Harry bit down hard on Remus's hand. Remus yelped, shaking his hand, but Harry was latched on tight, his five little teeth sinking in deep. James and Sirius looked up as Remus jumped around, the toddler's body flying.
"AWWWW SHIT...AKE MUSHROOMS! OOWW OWW EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Binns finally glanced up form his notes. James, bounding to the rescue grabbed the toddler around the round waist and tugged hard. Harry let go. Remus fell to the ground as his shoelaces remembered that they were tied together, a small circle of dust rising around him. Remus frantically fixed them and stood.
He picked up his belongings and stormed away, slumping next to a pimple-faced girl. James returned timidly to his seat.
"No, Morgan Le Fay did not eat Shitake Mushrooms, I think you are confusing her with Mei Lee Fay, the Chinese healer of the third century who…"
Remus tuned out the rest of the speech as he nursed his hand. He would have the scars of the teeth marks for a long time to come.
"He bit you? Like, teeth and everything?"
"Oh, sweet Merlin, did it hurt?"
"Do you need ice?"
"And you just gently took the sweetie away?"
"And he was pretending to be a werewolf, did you hear?"
"Maybe he is...you never know. I mean, Who-Know-Wo's getting stronger, and kids are getting younger and younger."
"His parents probably sent him away, the poor darl."
"I can't imagine, being abandoned at such a young age. You're so kind and noble to be caring for him."
"Isn't he just adorable?"
Remus sighed as he turned the page. The girls walked away, a few winking over their shoulder. Remus wasn't really one for all the attention.
Harry was in the hospitable wing, being checked for any signs he might be a werewolf. Remus knew the boy wasn't. He could smell it.
James scrutinized the map morosely, his eyes locked on the spot where Harry Potter sat, being prodded by Madam Pomfrey. A young student hanging around in the wingwas sent from the hospitable wing, making their way to the Library. James stood up, tucking the map in his pocket.
"Gotta pick up the mini wolf," he joked as he shouldered his bag.
Ten minutes later, a little girl was asking around for James Potter. "No, not here, left a few minutes ago," Peter told her, and she skipped away.
James pushed the doors to the wing open, and entered the sterile ward. Harry sat on a bed, looking bored. The matron bustled over. "He's fine, not a werewolf, thank goodness."
"Had a feeling he might not be," James quipped.
"Nevertheless, could you take this note to the Headmaster?" She asked, pressing an envelope into James's hand. James picked up Harry and walked out.
The matron gazed after them. For a second she would have sworn the little boy was the splitting image of the older one when he was the same age.
James walked around the corridors and soon found the Head's office. Being a head boy had its perks: he didn't have to guess the password. With a "Pecan Nougat" he was on his way. He knocked on the door, and heard only two words in return.
"Please enter."
With a deep breath, he turned the handle.
A/N: I love this story: offically. It's so fun to write! Anyway, I have a poll. Would you like this to be an AU story where somehow Harry grows up and the world is changed from canon, or proper time travel fic or...I could be evil and stop it when it gets exciting. Your choice! Please review. I'm also running out of ideas for the havoc Harry could create...so any plans, or things you really wanna see? Tell me!