Chapter Twelve: Better Days

And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
'Cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And designer love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

The Goo Goo Dolls

…

All the commotion coming from the Shepherds' house could only mean one thing: It was Christmas Eve. Derek, his brothers-in-law, and his nephews had spent the past few days decorating the yard and the house—which had come to be known as Santa's Freakin' Village, in memory of the interns' first Christmas together.

Meanwhile, the house was now beginning to fill with the wonderful aromas of what was to be their Christmas dinner. Addison and Meredith—both of whom had been forbidden from the kitchen because everyone else was all too aware of the damage they could do to food—busied themselves decorating the tree.

"So, Elle tells me that you two are going to New York in a few weeks," Meredith commented.

"Yeah, I promised an old friend that I'd be there for moral support during a surgery," she smiled as she hung an angel ornament that Elena had made a few years ago.

With a coy grin, Meredith said, "Dr. Milo." And when Addison looked at her with a "how in the world did you know that?" kind of expression, Meredith explained, "Elle told me. She seems really excited to see this Dr. Milo guy."

"Elle adores Milo, and he's so great with her," she smiled, although after a moment, she realized what Meredith had meant. "And before you say anything else, he's married."

"Well, it was worth a try," she shrugged just as the doorbell rang. However, before she could make a move toward it, Hayden and one of Lizzie's sons dashed past them and ran straight for the front door. "There were two kids just now, right?"

Laughing, Addison replied, "Yes. Hayden and Caleb."

"Okay, just making sure I wasn't starting to see double."

"Guess who's here!" Alex called out jokingly, followed by Izzie, Lydia, and Sophie. "Something smells great… and that makes sense because Mer isn't in the kitchen."

"Ass," she laughed and threw a small plastic Santa at him, which he caught easily. "Iz, you can just put the desserts in the kitchen. Apparently, I'm not allowed in there, but I'm sure you're more than welcome. And Hayden—" she started to say, but as though reading her mind, he took each twin by the hand and led them off to play with the other children.

"I'll be back in a second. I want to make sure Elle has a jacket on because I think she's starting to come down with something, and I want her to be well for our trip to New York," Addison excused herself, leaving Alex and Meredith alone for the moment.

Meredith noticed that he had picked up an ornament was distractedly moving it back and forth in his hands. She also knew him well enough to know that if she didn't ask what was wrong, he wouldn't say anything. "What's on your mind?"

Alex sighed. Out of all the friends he'd ever had over the years, Meredith was the one who seemed to know him better than anyone else. Of course, he and Izzie understood one another in a way that no one else could, but it had taken time. Meredith seemed to just get him right away; he knew that it was because deep down, they were, and had always been, just alike. "I'm worried about Izzie. She's acting really… I don't know. Weird, I guess."

"Izzie always acts weird around Christmas," Meredith pointed out.

"I know, but this past week, it's been different. It's like she's got something on her mind, but she won't tell me what's going on. Did she say anything to you?"

She shook her head. "Sorry, Alex. She hasn't mentioned anything to me. Whatever it is, I'm sure she'll tell you if it's really important. Maybe it's nothing," she offered, and he forced a smile.

"You're probably right," he agreed, looking a little more relieved than before. Then, in true Alex fashion, he grinned and said, "Okay, enough chick talk for me. I need to be around testosterone."

As Alex walked away, Meredith heard many of the guys come inside and make somewhat of a commotion in the kitchen. However, before she could go to see what all the fuss was about, Nancy's oldest daughter walked into the living room. "Aunt Addie asked me to come in here and help decorate the tree until she gets back. Dylan and Jacob smashed into one another when they were playing football, and she's helping with the whole bloody-faces thing," sixteen-year-old Eden reported as she walked up to Meredith.

"Are they okay? Do they need any help?"

But Eden shook her head. "I think they've got it under control. There are, like, ten doctors out there. Uncle Derek thought that Jacob might need stitches because his lip is pretty bad, but now that they've cleaned him up, it's not as bad as it looked."

"Okay," Meredith nodded as she heard another of her nephews yell out, "Ew! Gross!"

Both she and Eden burst into laughter. Despite the chaos that was inevitable with so many people under one roof—even though two of Derek's sisters and their families were staying with Addison and Elena—one thing was certain: There was never a scarcity of laughter. Or at least, not yet.

…

"Oh, I've got one," Nancy volunteered, hardly able to keep from bursting into laughter. They were now all sitting in the living room, recounting memorable tales of Christmases past. It was a yearly tradition, but everyone always had the best time laughing at the childhood antics of the Shepherd children. "Do you remember that Christmas when you were ten and I was eight, and we decided to do a live nativity play?"

"Let's just say that I learned the hard way that Mrs. Henderson's cat did not want to be wrapped in swaddling clothing," he replied, and everyone erupted into laughter once more.

"Mommy, I wanna open presents!" little Aaron decided with a mischievous grin.

"We'll open presents after dinner, remember?" Cristina told him, trying to hide her smile as he started to pout.

"Speaking of dinner, someone should probably go check on the turkey," Meredith suggested, and Izzie readily volunteered.

It was more than obvious that something was definitely on Izzie's mind. While the others were lighthearted and cheerful, she seemed as though every smile was forced. Even when Derek and Cristina happened to be caught under the mistletoe that Lexie and Elena had conveniently positioned—to which Cristina simply looked at her friend's husband and snapped, "Hell, no," and walked away—she hardly made a response.

"George, go check on Izzie," Meredith urged, and their friend rose and followed her.

"Hey, Iz. You okay?" George asked upon finding Izzie alone in the kitchen. She was absently reorganizing various items around the kitchen.

She just shook her head. "No. I don't think I am, George."

"What's wrong, Izzie? You can tell me."

Izzie paused briefly, then asked, "Can you keep a secret?" When George nodded, she sighed and confessed, "I have a daughter."

He looked at her for a moment, completely at a loss for what she was talking about. "Okay, two things. First, that's not a secret. And second, you have two daughters."

But she shook her head. "Actually, I have three."

"Izzie, what are you talking about?"

She looked as though she was about to cry as she told him her story—the story that she had kept a secret for so many years. "When I was sixteen, I got pregnant and gave the baby up for adoption. A few weeks ago, she turned eighteen and contacted me, and we met. And now she wants me to be a part of her life—which I'm totally grateful to be—but I still haven't figured out exactly how to make this all work."

"Have you told Alex yet?"

"No."

"You need to tell him," he insisted adamantly. "I mean, this is a big deal."

She sighed loudly. "I meant to. I really did. God, I meant to tell him so many times. But I could never find the right way to do it. How do you bring it up? 'Oh, by the way, Alex, I've been meaning to tell you something. You see, I've got kids that aren't yours.'"

Unfortunately for Izzie, Alex chose precisely that moment to walk into the kitchen.