Recap: This is a first season story that starts the day after the girls defeat Beryl. It's only stated in the original (japanese) version, but when she died Usagi wished for a normal life, a wish the crystal granted. So this is my take on what would happen if only those who wanted to remember would remember. But why doesn't Usagi remember?
AN. Wow, thanks for the reviews! I wasn't sure if this story would go over well so thank you! Looks like I'll have to continue. Many of your questions are actually addressed in this chapter. And yes, I liked PGSM. It was hokey and went off on the weirdest tangents but I really grew fond of the actors. I could totally picture that Motoki speaking his lines when I wrote this. I could say the same thing for Mamoru. PGSM also made Venus more serious. The anime focused more on her ditzy side. So my Venus is the manga one, a nice balance between the two.
Don't expect the next chapter for a while. It really needs tweeking. In fact, this chapter is a rough draft. I fixed it up to make it presentable but it needs editing and is waaay too long. There's also a small plot point or two I might change depending on where the story goes. I shouldn't post an unfinished draft but I'm just feeling so generous 'cuz I saw Serenity this weekend! Best movie ever. It's also said to be better (and clearer) the second time around, too. Everyone see it so there can be sequels! I won't update ever again unless at least one of you promises to see it! (no, of course I'm not insane and fanatical, stop looking at me like that!)
On PGSM - In case you missed my first chapter spiel, PGSM is Pretty Guardian Sailormoon, the Live Action version with real actors and not so real cats.
In a barren, battle-torn land a brilliant, flashing light that had shown so brightly moments before slowly faded into dust. It seemed to have been emanating from a delicate, bruised body lying in the wreckage of a costly arctic battle. The young girl looked barely strong enough to stand the harsh climate of her surroundings. Too weak, to even lift a finger, she stared silently out at the expanse of white surrounding her. A sense of accomplishment filled her. It was done. The world was safe. She had suffered greatly and lost more than she would like to think about but she knew that she would soon be joining them. The ones she had fought for. The ones she had lost.
Yes, she was done.
The great heroine of Tokyo had no purpose left in her life. She could leave this world without feeling regret.
Still, as the light faded from her eyes, she had one last wish.
Memory
by moonangel
Chapter 2
"What do you mean she doesn't remember?"
"How did this happen?"
Poor girls. Makoto and Ami looked so distraught.
As she listened to Rei calmly answer the barrage of questions she was facing, Minako winced. So much for her happy ending. When she had walked up the temple stairs that morning she knew Rei had some bad news to tell them. Too much was happening to her in too little time. Two days ago she had died. Yesterday she was reborn. Her life was so weird.
When she had woken up that day she'd promptly burst into tears. That wasn't a great way to start the day but those were tears of relief. Ironically, she had never felt so alive in her life. That was an odd morning. She was glad to be alive, thrilled that her friends were okay and the world was still in one piece. It almost didn't feel real that the enemy was truly gone. But she knew. She just knew that Beryl was gone, that Usagi had saved the day and that everyone she loved was fine. So maybe she was just too overwhelmed to know what to do with herself.
When she had seen Makoto walking her way she'd screamed and wrapped the girl in a giant bear hug. When she'd seen Ami she'd nearly burst into tears and strangled more than hugged the poor girl. But when she saw Rei she nearly fell over with the wave of emotions that hit her. Just seeing the miko's face had been a huge relief but the look in her eyes had told her everything she needed to know about the fifth member of their little group.
So Usagi didn't remember. Hearing Rei say it somehow made it hurt more. Still, even as Makoto babbled on in shock and Ami stuttered in confusion, Minako couldn't even fake her surprise. Considering that not long ago their very lives were on the line, this wasn't a big issue. But at the same time it was heartbreaking that the one person that changed them all and led their lives in new directions didn't even know who they were. More importantly, Minako knew that the consequences of Usagi's memory loss wouldn't just affect them. Yes, that one little wish that had saved them had its price.
"This was her choice. It was her wish," Rei told them softly.
"I don't understand," Ami stammered. "After everything we lost why did she want to start over with such a large hole in her life?"
Putting a comforting arm around her troubled friend, Makoto sighed sadly, "I guess this is her ideal life: Living a carefree existence without any reminders of her old destiny. We can't deny her this if it was her wish."
Rei cast a curious glance at Minako and the other two girls followed her gaze to give the blonde the final say. What could she do? As acting leader of the senshi, Minako knew she had to be careful about how she handled this situation. No matter what they chose to do, something would be lost. The important task to do now was to figure out just what was worth losing and what wasn't. She knew what she wanted to say, what she should push for, but she held back. She needed time to think and she had a visit or two to make. Making this decision, Minako solemnly looked up at the girls.
"Then for now we leave it to Usagi to remember."
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His voice. He'd only spoken one simple word to her and yet she just couldn't get his voice out of her head. And his eyes! Those shimmering blue eyes just captured her the moment they caught her in their gaze. Why were they shining so brightly? Why did he look so sad?
Why did her heart beat so hard when gazing into a stranger's eyes?
A pajama clad Tsukino Usagi plopped down on her bed, glancing at the roses resting in a colorful vase on her nightstand.
She remembered when she had been at the florist to buy daisies. But instead of finishing the job she had just stood there for who knows how long, staring at the bright red roses. The florist had thought she was insane. Or retarded. After meeting him her brain just shut off. She could barely hold onto a single thought for a few seconds before thinking about him.
Her mother had just given up on her when she'd haunted the house like a zombie all day.
On the bright side, at least she probably wouldn't be assigned any more chores for the week.
Fingering a soft rose petal, Usagi wondered, how could a stranger do this to her? What about Motoki? He was the love of her life! The apple of her eye! Or something like that. Wait, that apple thing sounded funny. Well, he was her guy. The one she wanted. Wasn't he?
The persistent memory of striking blue eyes told her otherwise.
Tonight was going to be a long night.
---------
Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid. He was supposed to avoid her. He couldn't deal with her right now and he knew very well that she had wished him out of her life. And what was the first thing he did when he remembered? Sought her out. Well, maybe not consciously, but his heart had led him to right her barely moments after leaving the hospital. She probably didn't even understand why he had said sorry to her, apologizing for ruining her day with his presence. Because she didn't know anything. Because she didn't remember who he was.
It had been her choice and he had to respect that. Even if he was dying inside.
"Geez, Mamoru. I can't believe they discharged you from the hospital so fast. Must be handy having connections so high up in the medical field, huh? Thank Kami-sama you weren't seriously injured. Not a single bruise. That's so weird. Brought in unconscious and you're healthy as a daisy. Wait, is that the right phrase? Cuz 'daisy' is an odd choice. Why can't it be lilies or tulips? I would have gone with tulips. They're so fancy and oooh, 'Fresh as a daisy'. That's the phrase. Okay, now that doesn't fit what I was saying... Wait a sec, what was I saying?
"Sure."
"Oh yeah, do you think your minor blackout was a result of all that weirdness that was going on the other day? I swear, I thought the world was going to end..."
"Uh huh."
"... and you have no idea how traumatic it was. Only Kamekichi was there to comfort me in my darkest hour but I braved through it somehow..."
"Sure."
"... Uh, Mamoru? Aren't you going to start harping on me about my over-reliance on a stuffed turtle?"
"Uh huh."
"Oi, Mamoru, you even listening?"
"Sure."
"Ooook. Well, as I was saying, me and Kamekichi want a nice, pleasant wedding. You know, nothing fancy. Just a few thousand people from the far reaches of the galaxy and a dozen gallons of jello for a cake."
"Uh huh."
"Ok, that's it! I'm throwing my milkshake at you, consequences be damned!"
In hindsight, Motoki realized it was never a good idea to go through with any threats made to Chiba Mamoru. But, unfortunately, that thought never occurred to him until after his friend grabbed his offending arm and knocked him down with a sharp blow to the solar plexus before he could even lift his cup.
Looking down at his wheezing, milkshake drenched friend, Mamoru slowly shook himself from his dazed state, unconsciously retracting his outstretched arm.
"Uh, Motoki, what are you doing on the ground?"
"How can you even ask me that? What the hell are you talking about? You've spent the last twenty minutes ignoring me and when I, er, offered you my milkshake you knocked me down!" Motoki gasped, clutching his stomach.
"Oh. How odd. Do you need some help?" Mamoru asked politely as Motoki slipped on some milkshake while pulling himself up. But when he offered his hand to his friend, Motoki jumped back and violently shook his head.
"No! No touching! You could have broken my arm! My poor, innocent arm!"
Mamoru blinked then shrugged at his friend's odd behavior, taking out a handkerchief to wipe a speck of milkshake off of his sleeve before meticulously folding it and returning it to his jacket pocket. "Heh, yeah sorry about that. Must've been a reflex."
"Reflex? Reflex? You knock the wind out of me in one blow and you call that a reflex? Seriously, where was your head off to when I was talking to you?"
Wincing, Mamoru shrugged again, replying, "Just another research paper I need to work on. You know, the usual."
Motoki groaned as he dried himself with his cleaning rag, "Figures. You're so boring. Don't you ever care about anything other than school?"
"Motoki-onii-chan!"
Momentarily distracted, a grinning Motoki sat up, turning to the entrance just in time to see a bouncy blonde enter the arcade. "Usagi-chan!"
In brighter spirits, he turned back to Mamoru, he asking, "Hey, Mamoru, have you met Usa-"
Blinking, he stared at his friend who'd suddenly buried his head in a newspaper, his back turned towards the door.
Weird guy.
"Wow, Motoki-onii-chan, you won't believe how horrible yesterday was! You know how my mom made me run a bazillion errands for no good reason? Well I got, like, half of them done more or less okay and she got totally upset. I mean, I really, really tried. What ever happened to rewarding effort?" Usagi huffed as she approached the counter, glancing curiously at the silent man whose head was lost somewhere in a newspaper.
Turning her puzzled gaze back to Motoki, she watched him stand up, dusting himself off.
"Ne, Nii-chan, why are you on the ground, covered in milkshake?"
Rolling his eyes as he reached for a clean apron, Motoki sighed, "Don't ask. Just another fun-filled day at the arcade. Let's just say I need new friends."
Nodding sympathetically, Usagi said, "I see. Some hyper kid ran into you? You poor thing. But you know how kids are."
Was it just her or did the newspaper guy just flinch?
"Usagi-chan?"
Feeling rude, Usagi turned her gaze away from the mysterious stranger. Trying to focus her full attention on Motoki, she continued, "So yeah, yesterday, things were going not so great with the groceries but that's not the big thing. You see, there was this gu-"
"Usagi-chan?" Motoki questioned again, confused when the blonde froze mid-sentence. Following her gaze, he turned to see Mamoru folding his paper, finally turning around.
Completely ignoring the shell-shocked girl, Mamoru gave a swift nod to his friend, "Motoki, I have an errand to run. Ja ne."
Nodding blankly, Motoki watched his friend's curt exit, raising an eyebrow when Mamoru nearly ran into some poor school girl. The girl just stared at him oddly while Mamoru paused, probably to apologize, then mumbled excuses and hurried away. Motoki frowned, "That was odd. I mean, he's known for being kinda odd and mysterious and all but, well... ok, maybe that wasn't as unusual as I thought. Well, I've got my share of odd friends anyways, ne Usagi-chan?"
Motoki blinked.
"Usagi-chan?"
He poked her head.
No response.
"Not you, too! And people wonder why I'm so attached to my Kamekichi. Isn't anyone around here ever going to pay any attention to me!"
---------
"Makoto!"
"What?"
"We're doing flower arranging here, not weed-whacking!"
"Sorry, but I don't see why we have to do your chores. This festival is weeks away. Didn't you say you wanted to speak with us today?" Makoto grumbled.
Rei gave her a pointed look tuned the girls out as Minako started teasing Makoto about her laziness. Rei had gathered the girls together again in the late afternoon, hoping to distract the girls with some chores after dropping the big bomb on them. Unfortunately, Makoto's expertise at flower arranging seemed to be suffering from her constant bickering with Minako who Rei had been stupid enough to assign to loading good luck charms into boxes. Rei wasn't blind, though. She could tell that Minako was only trying to keep Makoto from brooding over Usagi's absence from what should have been a fun gathering between friends. All of them had been fairly depressed after hearing about Usagi's memory loss. The fact that they had all agreed to leave her alone while they figured things out seemed to be even more of a downer for them. Somehow their rebirth didn't seem to be going as well as she could have hoped.
Also, she was becoming more worried about Mamoru. When she had stopped by the arcade earlier, Motoki had recognized her but wasn't the least bit helpful in dishing out information on the guy. She had managed to find out a that Mamoru had been recently released from a hospital after suffering through a long ramble about how beautiful life was when the world wasn't ending or something equally annoying like that.
"You know, this isn't forever, ever. I mean, come on, we'll just weigh the pros and cons for a while then give up and ambush Usagi, right?" Minako was saying, her gaze directed at Rei as she nearly dropping a fairly large box on Artemis's tail, all signs of her previous seriousness completely gone. The poor cat squealed and hid behind Luna.
Ami shook her head in disagreement as she delicately separated a boxful of brightly colored of good luck charms into groups. "It's not that simple. She chose to forget for a reason. And until we understand that reason we should not act so hastily. Weren't you the one saying we shouldn't bother her? What if our presence in her life brings back unwanted memories of the past? She has two lifetimes of memories ending with watching us all die. I'm actually not surprised she chose to forget. It's just too painful. In addition to that, it would be hard for us to keep up a friendship with her while keeping secret about such a vastly important piece of our lives."
"Well, yeah, not yet anyways. But don't you think you're thinking too much?" Minako whined.
Makoto snorted, flicking a "wisdom" charm at the blonde's forehead, "More than you at least."
Luna gave the girls a sharp look stopping Minako in mid-sputter before adding in her thoughts, "Ami-chan has a point. We have to consider what is best for Usagi-chan."
"But what about us? I miss her! This is stupid. I bet she'll be thrilled when she remembers that she's friends with a great girl like me," Minako huffed.
"Okay, first of all, can we talk about someone other than you?" Makoto asked, rolling her eyes.
"Uh, no."
Makoto turned to Rei in frustration, "Hey, isn't it your job to knock all the blondes in our group down a peg?"
Rei shrugged, saying, "She might have a point, even if she is going about it the wrong way. Usagi loves us. Just the thought of losing one friend should sadden her more than anything. There's definitely something we're missing here, some other reasoning behind her wish."
'Because Minako's not as idiotic as she seems,' Rei added, mentally. The senshi of love seemed dead-set on restoring Usagi's memories and Rei wanted to find out why. Just that morning, Minako had practically ordered them to leave their friend alone. And now she wouldn't let up about doing the exact opposite. So Rei needed to know what was going on in that ditz's head. Unfortunately, Minako seemed to be enjoying playing up her air-headed persona at the moment. Deciding it was time to get to the bottom of the situation, Rei suddenly stood up.
"Minako, how about being useful and helping me carry those boxes out of here to give the others some more room?"
As Minako obediently hopped to her feet to follow Rei, holding an armful of boxes, Luna mouthed a silent thank you before whacking a snoozing Artemis who was drooling on some of the charms. Ami cast the girls a curious glance but kept quiet and Makoto let out an exaggerated sigh of relief before poking her head into Ami's corner. Rei noticed that though she seemed to love to badger the blonde, Makoto's insults were all made in good fun. Even when talking shop talk the girls still seemed overly giddy about of being together again. It was good that they were staying positive.
Minako was surprisingly silent as she followed Rei down the hall towards the fire room. Once they were out of earshot, Rei turned to her and demanded, "Ok, talk."
"I was wondering when you'd start bugging me. I swear you're the only one that can read me this well," Minako responded with a smirk. The girl was just too annoyingly smug sometimes.
Rei dumped her stacked boxes into a storage closet before leading Minako into the fire room. The Great Fire hadn't been very responsive recently but she felt most comfortable there. The girls sat down facing each other, Minako stubbornly remaining silent, giving her a blank, cheeky smile.
After a particularly sharp, wordless glare from Rei, Minako sighed, deciding to jump straight to the point, "You're worried about him too so I'm surprised why you haven't figured out why I've become so adamant about Usagi getting her memories back."
Rei was caught off guard. It wasn't just the fact that Minako knew what "adamant" meant that shocked her. It simply hadn't occurred to her that Minako would be so concerned about a guy she had practically never spoken to.
"Don't look at me like that! He's not just our prince. He's a good guy and I feel bad for him," Minako exclaimed defensively.
"How? You two have barely met and half the time it was as enemies, whether he was a brainwashed henchman or a foreigner forbidden on the Moon. I actually befriended him and I always, at least unconsciously, knew how he felt about her. But you! I'm surprised you even remembered we had a prince."
"Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence!"
"Minako…"
Minako tossed her hair out of her face in an overdramatic act of annoyance. But when she looked back into Rei's eyes she sighed and dropped the act.
"I felt him."
Rei started. The wording wasn't the best but the meaning hit her hard as Minako continued talking.
"I felt when he remembered. At the time there was so much information to process that I dismissed it as another mood swing. Cuz I kept jumping from laughing to crying all day. But it kept bugging me. When I told you guys to leave Usagi alone I was still sorting it all out in my head. Still, sooner or later I realized the feelings of despair that kept pelting me weren't mine. Stop looking so surprised. You may be connected to us with all your crazy miko powers and all but, when it comes to love, we're entering my area of expertise," Minako stated, seriously.
"I really did think it was the right thing to do to give Usagi her space," Minako continued. "Then I walked by the arcade as I was coming here and guess who I literally ran into? Looks like they've met already and being so close to him, it was kind of hard to deny Mamoru's pain. Seriously, that boy can brood. He looked like he was going to say something to me but I could just tell that he was too upset to talk so I let him go."
Minako sighed, deciding to get straight to the point.
"Look, before I really was willing to say, 'Ok, let Usagi forget.' But now that they've met again that's not an option. She may not have her memories but that's the only thing that's changed inside of her from a week ago. I only saw her briefly but I felt it. She's not the Usagi that you first met. She's changed, even if she doesn't remember what it was that changed her. And even if her mind doesn't, her heart surely recognizes him. They're connected. They've always been and they'll keep running into each other until they die. Maybe on that last day Usagi really did wish to forget but that doesn't mean she made the right choice for herself. "
Rei smiled ruefully, "Run ins 'til the day they die? That sounds kind of painful. Destiny really is that hard to thwart, huh?"
Minako gave her a mischievous grin, "You think it's destiny that's doing it?"
Rei gave her confused look before she realized what she meant.
"You think it's them," she breathed.
"And you don't?"
Rei couldn't argue with that.
"Maybe it never was destiny. For any of us. Maybe we'll all always be searching for each other. Our minds just are late in catching up with what our hearts want. So I'm going to trust Usagi's heart more than her head. 'Cuz that's the one thing she's got that no one can beat," Minako said, softly.
"So you suggest we try to get her to remember and just ignore wish?"
"I think it's safe to say that whatever she was thinking that day is not the big issue here. And that despair I felt earlier? It wasn't just from him. She's not aware of it but I think she misses him, too. So yeah, I was briefly considering having us all confront her but I think we can back off for now and let things happen naturally. Because I wonder if, at the rate they're going, maybe we might not even have to."
---------
Usagi returned home from the arcade without even remembering how she'd left. Poor Motoki. First she'd neglected him then she'd suddenly pelted the poor guy with a million questions per second. When she was leaving the arcade he really looked like he could use a break.
At least something good had come out of it. After some in depth questions, she'd gotten some helpful information about the mysterious black-haired stranger out of Motoki. Well, it wasn't so much a conversation as an interrogation. Maybe she could have been more subtle by saying something other than, "Name. Birthday. Details. Now!" She'd probably scared him a bit when she'd started asking for his measurements, blood type and astrological sign. But, as her mother always said, it never hurt to be thorough.
Chiba Mamoru.
That was his name. Such a pretty name.
Kami-sama, this was so pathetic. She could probably count on one hand the number of words he'd spoken to her. On one finger, actually. And yet she just couldn't get him out of her head. It wasn't his looks. She knew she could stare at him all day but it wasn't just that. There was something else. Something in his lonely blue eyes called out to her. A part of her wanted to reach out to him, to find out what made those beautiful blue eyes so lifeless.
She wanted to save him.
So obviously she was a complete idiot. Save him? Save him from what? Loneliness? A cool college guy like that didn't need saving. Certainly not from a ditzy little high school girl like her. Motoki had made it sound like he was a frigging genius. An overachiever and a perfectionist. A guy like that wouldn't last a minute with her before reaching for a noose and strangling himself. Or her. Perfectionists usually pulled their hair out whenever they came within ten feet of her. And overachievers? She gave them rashes. Even if she looked hard enough she couldn't possibly find a guy who was more wrong for her than this guy. He was too wonderful. Too perfect.
And yet her stupid heart couldn't let him go. Wasn't she supposed to be in love with Motoki? It felt like so long ago that she came to the arcade only for him but in all honestly, that was probably like, what? A day or two ago? Now all she could think of was that stranger. Two meetings and one word and already she was head over heels.
Yes, Tsukino Usagi knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she needed mental help.
---------
Mamoru wanted to bury his head under his pillow and never leave his room again. Everywhere he turned she was there. Two days with his memories intact and already he'd run into her twice. Maybe destiny was telling him something... maybe she was...
She doesn't want you.
Of course. It was hard to argue with the cold, hard facts. When the love of your life wishes to forget about ever knowing you, it's probably safe to say that you're no longer wanted. So let go. Give her space. Let her live her life.
Without you.
--- to be continued ---
AN – Gah! Stupid document manager's messing with the format. Oh well, it's fixable. Heh, all that hope and then I ended with Mr. Depressing. It's both fun and challenging to write for Usagi and Mamoru in this story, considering their relationship. I'm always surprised by where the story leads me when I write those two. I tend to focus mostly on them but the senshi just became so crucial to the storytelling process. So they're getting more attention than I planned. And the Minako bit just seemed so natural. I love how complex her character can be. I find it to be kind of ironic that Usagi's the story's most mysterious character.
Ok, so feedback! Tell me what's awkward and what to cut. As long as you're not rude about it I'd totally appreciate constructive criticism! Even if it's just one word that seems out of place or awkward, I'd like to know. Ooh, I probably don't need to explain this but Mamoru, and maybe Usagi, was the "visit or two" that Minako mentioned wanting to make in the beginning, and yes, she was the girl Mamoru ran into when escaping the arcade. Hm, I'm getting pretty good at not rambling too much in these ANs. 'Course it would help if I stopped rambling about how great it is that I'm not rambling.