Chapter Fifteen: Ballad in 2-D

Cut through the sky; it still looks overcast
No edits when you're rewriting the past
Maybe the rain will come and wash us clean
Some things are better left unseen

Bill Ricchini

…

When Derek spotted Meredith standing alone at the Nurses' Station, he smiled and stared for a moment. She was busy writing something in a patient's chart, looking as beautiful as she ever did. Maybe even more than she ever did. He wasn't sure how long he stood there, examining her every detail, from the way she tucked a misplaced lock of hair behind her ear to how her forehead crinkled in concentration as she paused to reread what she had just written.

Finally, he walked up to her, wrapping his arm around her waist and placing his chin on her shoulder, his cheek pressed gently next to hers. He breathed in the scent of lavender, which would forever remind him of her.

"You better not do that; my husband might see," she teased, knowing that it was him. She knew his touch by heart by now, and the way their bodies fit so perfectly together—like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle—was unmistakable.

"Hmm. Funny… you're very funny," he whispered, kissing her cheek and smiling as she laughed. "You free for lunch?"

"I might be," she answered, turning so that they were now face-to-face. His smile always got to her, even in the very beginning. That smile and those gorgeous blue eyes were her first memories of him.

"In that case, I will see you at twelve-thirty," he said with a wink, kissing her on the cheek before walking away.

With a loud sigh, Alex announced his presence. "So I see it's still all lovey-dovey in the Shepherd house."

"It would be all lovey-dovey in the Karev house if you'd stop acting like a four-year-old who couldn't have cookies before dinner," Meredith answered without hesitation. He had been moping around the hospital for the past two weeks. Not to mention the hours spent on the telephone with Izzie and George and even Cristina trying to figure out how to fix things. And the problem shouldn't have been Meredith's to fix; she had actually tried to stay out of the whole thing. But, as always, a problem for one of them inevitably came to involve them all; that was the blessing and curse of family.

"It's not like she overcharged on a credit card or something, Meredith. She freaking has another kid that she didn't tell me about. And I'm just supposed to pretend like it's nothing? Like the fact that she didn't tell me doesn't matter?" he demanded in frustration.

Meredith had done her best to be a supportive friend to both Alex and Izzie throughout their fight. She didn't like to take sides. However, she knew a thing or two about keeping secrets and could understand, maybe in a way that Alex couldn't, why Izzie had chosen to keep Hannah's existence from him. "Okay, so she didn't tell you. She didn't tell anyone until that night, Alex. She was a scared kid who gave up her baby and has had to deal with that. And, if that's not enough, now that kid is back in her life. Did you ever think that maybe it's screwing with her emotions just the smallest bit? And to add onto that, her husband who promised to stand by her for better or worse, in case you've forgotten—and I was there and heard those words come out of your mouth—is being totally insensitive."

For a minute he just stood there in silence, staring at her as her words sank in. Of course, she was right. But the fact that she had stated it so point-blankly was a harsh realization. "Dude, you're mean. If I wanted to get yelled at, I'd go home."

"As your friend, it's my job to point out when you're being an ass. I take that job very seriously," she replied, grinning. "By the way, in case you didn't catch the subtlety, you're being an ass about this."

"What's your problem?" Cristina questioned as she approached them, Lillian asleep in her arms. "You look like Meredith killed your puppy or something."

"Mommy Meredith just yelled at me and put me in time out," Alex answered, still pouting a little bit. But he knew that with her harshness, Meredith was really only looking out for him and his marriage. She was right; it was their job to keep one another in line, and he was thankful for the friendship. He then turned his attention to the sleeping child in Cristina's arms. It was time for another post-op checkup, and since Addison was in New York, it became Alex's responsibility.

Cristina handed her daughter into her friends arms, and she followed them into an exam room. On the way, Lillian woke up and stared up at Alex in deep concentration for a minute. "Morning, Lily," he smiled, and she cooed in response.

"You're like 'The Baby Whisperer' or something, Evil Spawn," Cristina teased. "She usually freaks out when she first wakes up from her nap. I guess she's just not a good judge of character."

"Lillian, don't grow up to be like your mom. She's a nutcase," Alex told the little girl as he placed her onto the exam table. "Okay, let's have a look at that scar."

"Oh, the scar's fine. It's basically healed," Cristina replied, and Alex gave her an "I'm the doctor; you're the mother" look. "What? I brought her in for a checkup, didn't I? You and Izzie seriously need to make up or whatever because you are in need of getting laid. You're so grumpy."

Normally, Alex would have quipped some smart-aleck reply right back, but something else caught his attention. A small lump over one of Lillian's ribs was concerning. "I think we're going to need to do a biopsy and a CT," he said, trying to be calm.

"Oh, God, Alex," Cristina gasped, all of those feelings of terror rushing back to her. "You think the tumor is back?"

He sighed; it was hard to tell his friend this kind of news. "The original tumor was benign, and we've caught this early. It'll be okay, Cristina," he said, handing Lillian to her mother.

"Yeah, it'll be fine," she whispered, holding her daughter tightly. "Everything will be okay."

…

When Alex arrived home from the hospital that evening, he wasn't surprised to come back to a dark, still house. It was late, and he knew the girls were asleep by now; chances were, Izzie was, too.

Since Christmas Eve, things just hadn't been the same around the Karev house. There had been many sleepless nights for the two people who once swore that they would never go to bed angry. It hurt him so badly to lie next to her at night and not be able to just ramble on about the insignificant details that she listened to so attentively. It hurt not to be able to hold her next to him and listen to her slowing breathing as she fell asleep It was so painful to cross her in the hallway and not be able to say what he was feeling; it was so hard not to have the words to say what he was feeling.

He walked quietly to the girls' room to give them a good-night kiss, but to his surprise, their beds were empty. Izzie's car was in the garage, so he knew that she was home. She was upset, but she would never take the girls and just… leave.

Alex breathed a sigh of relief as he stood in the doorway of his bedroom and saw the three of them, cuddled together and fast asleep. They were all so breathtakingly beautiful, and he smiled because he knew just how fortunate he was. For better or worse, he would never have changed a moment because every moment had led him here.

He knew that Meredith had been right; he'd known that even before they'd spoken. Finally, he decided, it was time to put his pride away and be the rock that his wife and children needed him to be. After all, his job was to keep them safe and to love them, no matter what.

Gingerly, he leaned over and kissed each of his daughters on the cheek. However, as he gently kissed Izzie's lips, her brown eyes fluttered open, and she smiled up at him, just barely awake. "I didn't mean to wake you. Just wanted to let you know I was home," he whispered.

"Are you hungry? I could make you something for dinner," she offered sleepily, though now fully awake.

But Alex shook his head and replied, "That's all right; I'll throw together something. You just go back to sleep, okay?"

"Alex, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Hannah sooner. I was wrong not to say anything," Izzie apologized. Earlier that day, she, too, had decided that she would rather be wrong than be without him. If the past few weeks had been a glimpse as to what her life would have been like without him, then she never wanted to experience the real thing.

"No, Iz… I was wrong, and I'm the one who should be sorry. I was a jerk, and I had no right to act the way I did. I just…" He started to say but again found himself struggling to find the words. With a sigh, he sat down on the edge of the bed. "I don't know why I've been this way. I guess I always thought that if something that big was going on in your life, you'd come to me. If you're hurting, I want the chance to help make it better. And even if I can't, I don't want you to hurt alone."

"Let's never fight again, okay?"

"Okay," he nodded. "So, do you have any other kids I should know about?"

No," she said, rolling her eyes. But she was smiling. "Wanna help me put the girls back in their beds? Apparently, Sophie convinced Lydia that there was a purple sheep living in their closet that would eat them. Or something."

But he just smiled and said, "Let them stay."

"Seriously?"

He nodded and grinned. "I don't want them to get eaten by a purple sheep."

"You make a good point, Dr. Karev," she laughed, a sound that he had gone entirely too long without hearing. "Are you coming to bed?"

"In a minute. I have a few things to do first."

"Okay. I love you, Alex."

He kissed her cheek and whispered back, "I love you, too, Iz."

Downstairs, he fumbled through a stack of papers by the phone until he found the one he'd been looking for, the one with Hannah's name and number written hastily in his own handwriting.

Obviously, Hannah was going to be a part of Izzie's life, and would consequently be a part of his life, too. It was time for him to do his part, to take the initiative to be supportive and understanding. After all, if Hannah was part of Izzie, then he knew that she had to be amazing.

"Hello?" her cheerful voice answered on the other line.

"Hannah, this is Alex Karev. Izzie's husband."

There was a brief pause. "Alex? Hi! It's so good to hear from you." It was easy to recognize the mixed excitement and gratitude in her voice. "Is everything okay? You and Izzie and the twins? Everyone's fine, right?"

He hadn't realized it the first time they'd spoken, but she sounded just like Izzie. "Yeah, everyone's great," he answered, already feeling himself starting to open up. "I don't want to keep you for too long, but I just wanted to call and say hi. And, um… to let you know that if you ever find yourself in Seattle, we should all get together and do something. You know, the whole family."

"Thank you, Alex," she whispered, and he knew that his acceptance had truly meant more to her than she could say.

…

Over 100 reviews. Have I mentioned that you guys are amazing? You guys are amazing! Seriously, thanks so much to everyone who reads and reviews.

I hope you enjoyed the (somewhat) happy fluff of this chapter; I figured it was time for one of those. Because, as you've probably guessed by now, I love writing drama. It's fun. And starting next chapter… well, you'll see.