Chapter Seventeen: Sky Is Falling

I'm alive, but tell me am I free
I've got eyes, but tell me can I see
The sky is falling and no one knows
We shouldn't be hard to believe
Shouldn't be this difficult to breathe
The sky is falling and no one knows

Lifehouse

…

"Elena Amélie Montgomery-Shepherd… Go. To. Sleep," Addison said to her daughter, who was sitting upright in her bed staring at her, just as she had been doing for the past three hours.

"I'm not sleeping until you tell me what's wrong."

"I already told you it was nothing," she replied, but she knew that Elena would keep asking until she was answered. However, it wasn't something that Addison felt like discussing at the moment, and she knew better than to jump to conclusions before she was absolutely certain. Although, it was pretty hard to miss what had been so obvious.

"Is something wrong with me? If something's wrong with me, I should know about it, don't you think?" she questioned.

With a sigh, she sat up and looked Elena in the eye. "According to your chest x-ray and your blood test, you have acute bronchitis. Luckily, we caught it before it turned into pneumonia, although it's bordering. I've started you on a course of antibiotics, and you'll be good as new in about two weeks. Of course, if you don't sleep, then it'll take longer."

"Then is something wrong with you?"

"I thought I saw something, but I misread the test results," she insisted for the hundredth time. "And you say I'm the worrier? You're going to give yourself a stroke by ten years old, Elle."

Elena grinned. "Wonder where I got it? And strokes happen when a brain artery gets clogged. Daddy told me."

"Come here, you," Addison laughed and took her little girl into her arms as Elena giggled. There was nothing in the world like holding your child in your arms and relishing the moments when they were still children. From the very first moment that Elena had been her daughter, she promised herself that no matter what, she would never hurt her child… that she would be the kind of mother that she had wished for.

However, she wondered now whether or not keeping a secret like this was for better or worse.

…

"Thanks again for keeping her. I hate dragging her to the hospital when she's sick, and I've got back-to-back surgeries all day," Addison said to Meredith when she arrived at their house later that morning.

"It's no trouble at all," Meredith insisted. "Aida isn't feeling well, either, so I was staying home anyway. And Elle is always so easy to look after."

Elena, who was fast asleep in her mother's arms, was draped in her winter coat although still in her pajamas as indicated by the fuzzy pink slippers on her feet. It also looked as though it was going to rain soon, and Addison was glad that they had gotten there before the storm began.

"I've packed her a change of clothes and her schoolwork in case she's feeling up to it later. She'll probably sleep for most of the day, though, because I couldn't get her to sleep last night," Addison began. "Her antibiotics are also in the bag, and I've written down the dosages; she's good about taking them, so you shouldn't have any trouble. Am I forgetting anything?"

But Meredith shook her head. "You can always call if you remember," she smiled, taking both the bag and the sleeping little girl into her arms. "We'll be fine, and I'll call you if there's any change."

"Okay, then," she nodded and ran her hand gently over Elena's dark hair before turning to leave. However, the only procedures in which she would be involved that day were her own.

…

When Addison arrived at Seattle Grace, she immediately went to the OR board. Of course, she wasn't scheduled for any surgeries because she was technically not working that day. However, her eyes scanned over each name until she discovered that Derek's wasn't on the board, either.

"Hey, Dr. Montgomery," Lexie smiled as she approached Addison. "Anything good today?"

"No, I don't have anything today. But if you tell me where I can find Derek, I'll let you in on whatever I get tomorrow," she offered, and Lexie's face lit up eagerly.

"Oh, thank God. If I have to spend another day in the pit, I'm going to lose my mind," she grinned and reported, "The last time I saw him, he was headed up to room twenty-seventy-eight to check on a patient. He's probably still in there—twelve year old girl in a coma for the past three days… really sad."

"Thank you, Lexie," Addison waved as she started off to find Derek.

Just as Lexie had said, Derek was in room twenty-seventy-eight, sitting in a chair by the bedside of a young girl surrounded by tubes and machines. He didn't notice her standing there and continued speaking to the child as though she were awake and listening to every word.

After a minute, however, he looked up and saw her standing there, smiling at him. "Hey. Kayla and I were just hanging out, but I'm sure she won't mind if you join us," he offered.

For an instant, Addison forgot why she was there and focused her attention on the little girl lying motionless in the bed. "What happened to her?"

"Her mother's boyfriend was high on… something, I don't know what, and shot her before shooting her mother and himself. We just got in touch with her father today; her mom took her when she was Hayden's age, and he hasn't been able to find her until now," he sighed, and the story broke Addison's heart.

She could never imagine putting a child through that; her own childhood had been less than perfect, but it was practically a dream compared to what some children went thought. "This poor little girl. Do you think she'll make it?"

"I hope so. She's regulating her own body temperature and she isn't brain-dead, so there's a chance. The sooner she wakes up, the better, though," he answered and then wondered, "Did you need something?"

Suddenly, Addison remembered what she had come to ask. "Derek… I need a favor," she requested hesitantly.

The tone of her voice caught his attention; it wasn't like her to be tentative about anything, and the way she was asking was cause for concern. "Okay. What kind of favor?"

No matter what happened, she was determined to be brave. Or at least not to panic until she knew for sure. Of course, a part of her didn't even want to know, but it wasn't something to ignore. With a deep breath, she looked him in the eye and revealed, "Yesterday, I had a mammogram done and it showed that there's a mass in my left breast. I have a biopsy scheduled for later this morning, and… well, it would make me feel better if you were in there with me. As a friend, you know?"

"Addison," he whispered in alarm, the worry beginning to overcome him. He knew it could be nothing, but from her voice, he got the feeling that she didn't believe that it was nothing. "Yeah, of course I'll be there."

…

"Mommy?" Elena called out sleepily as Meredith went to check on her a while later. She had put the little girl in their bedroom so that she wouldn't be disturbed as she was dealing with Aida.

"It's just me," she whispered.

"Meredith," she realized and then looked around in confusion. "How did I get to your house?"

She smiled and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Your mom brought you a few minutes ago, so that means you're stuck with me for the day. Is there anything I can get you?"

"No, I'm okay," she answered as a chill overtook her tiny body.

Meredith pulled back the covers and climbed in next to Elena, who smiled and put her head on her stepmother's shoulder. In all honestly, she had never really pictured herself becoming a mother; she had been sure that she would be a lost cause when it came to children of her own because she'd had no example to follow.

However, she vividly remembered the first time it had been just the two of them. She and Derek were visiting in New York. Addison had an emergency at the hospital, and Derek had gone to get more baby formula. Of course, Meredith had been a nervous wreck at the prospect of the tiny baby being her sole responsibility, even if only for an hour. But when Elena looked up at her with her bright green eyes and smiled, Meredith knew that they would be just fine. And they had been just fine ever since.

"Meredith, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course you can."

She paused for a moment before she said, "You can't tell Mommy or Daddy I asked about this. Especially not Daddy. Okay?"

"Okay," she agreed, although she was a little worried. Elena rarely asked her things that she was so adamant about her parents not knowing.

"A man named Mark came to see Mommy in New York, but she wouldn't tell me about it and said not to tell Daddy. Do you know who that man was?"

Of course Meredith knew exactly about whom Elena was speaking: Mark Sloan. He had been Derek's best friend for years before he and Addison had been caught having an affair. Mark had been the reason Derek left New York. In a strange way, Mark had been part of the reason that she and Derek had ended up together in the first place. "He used to be your parents' friend back when they lived in New York."

"Why aren't they friends anymore?"

Meredith sighed. "Sometimes things happen that cause people not to be friends anymore. Sometimes people make mistakes," she answered vaguely, feeling that it wasn't her right to say more than that.

…

As soon as Derek walked into the room with the test results in his hand, Addison knew. "I called Meredith to let her know that you needed Elle to stay at our house for the night," he said, taking a seat beside her. "And I want you to know that I'm here for you, okay? Whatever you need, I'm here."

She nodded somberly and admitted, "Deep down, I knew I was sick, Derek. I'm a doctor. I don't know why I didn't have this checked earlier, but now… If I was afraid before, then now I'm terrified." As she attempted to continue, her panicked tears obstructed her words. "All I can think about is Elle… It isn't fair that she's going to have to go through this, Derek. She's already been through so much. It isn't fair!"

Reassuringly, he put his arm around her, and she suddenly let go and began to sob into his shoulder. "Shh… It'll all be okay. We'll get through this, all right?" he whispered, but the truth was that he was terrified, too.

"You can't tell anyone about this, Derek. Promise."

"Addie, you have to talk to Elle about this eventually. I don't wanna scare you, but this is a big deal. This is going to affect all of our lives, and you can't hide something like this from her."

She nodded, fully acknowledging that she knew that what Derek was saying was right. "I will. I'll tell her soon. I just need some time to think… I need to figure out how to say it. I mean… how are you supposed to tell your six-year-old that you might be dying?"