I didn't want to leave you guys hanging for too long, so here's a quick update!

Chapter Twenty: Seasons Change

Hurts me to see you feel this way but it won't be always
Don't you know everything got to change?
Feels like all your hope is gone, you can't carry on
But there's nothing
You don't have to pretend with me
Don't you know that, that patience is a virtue?
And life is a waiting game
Don't you know that peace must be nurtured?
All the money in the world can buy you nothing
All these things happen, all these I've done for a reason
Don't you go on throw it all away
When the seasons change

Corinne Bailey Rae

…

"What?" he questioned in absolute confusion. Had she really just asked what he thought?

"I asked you if you were having an affair, and I want the truth," she answered very calmly, although he could see that she was liable to burst into tears at any moment.

The thought of being with any woman other than her had never once crossed his mind since the day they got back together. She was the love of his life… the only person he ever wanted to be with for the rest of his life. "Meredith… of course not. I love you more than you could ever possibly know, and I would never, ever throw away what we have."

"Then why have you been sneaking around with Addison? Working late nights? And Addison never leaves Elle anywhere longer than she absolutely has to," Meredith pointed out, although she was starting to breathe a little easier.

Derek sighed and ran his hand through his hair, just like he always did when he needed a minute to think. He promised that he wouldn't say anything, but he was sure that if Addison knew the situation, she would understand. They were planning on telling Elena soon, and Burke would need to be notified of the situation as well, so it would all be coming out anyway. "Addison has cancer."

Those three words left Meredith absolutely speechless for a moment. That wasn't at all what she expected to hear. "Oh, my God, Derek," she managed, completely forgetting everything she was feeling moments before. "Where? And how advanced?"

"Stage three breast cancer," he replied. "She didn't have the stomach flu; she was dealing with the effects of chemo. I've been trying to help her and keep her secret and… it's just too much. I'm sorry I haven't been here, but I've—"

"Derek, it's all right. You don't need to apologize," she interrupted, immediately feeling guilty of her accusations; she should have known better, she realized. "I'm the one who's sorry."

He stared at her for a moment, and it hit him just how much he had missed her those past two weeks. He hadn't even realized the impact of her support in his life; even when she didn't have an answer, she still had a shoulder to offer. She was so strong, and her strength is what helped him to pull through. Finally, he walked up to her and, still without a word, wrapped his arms around her tightly.

Meredith couldn't help but notice that it was exactly the same way that Elena had clung to her earlier that day. Despite all the ways that Elena was like Addison—who, after all, had been her primary influence for most of her life so far—there were some things that were purely Derek… the expression she got on her face when she was in deep thought, the way she could say everything without saying a single word, and especially the way she adored ferryboats. But then she realized something. "Elle doesn't know yet, does she?"

"No, she doesn't. Addison didn't want to scare her with this… God, Meredith, how much is that little girl going to have to go through in her life?" he wondered in exasperation. "She's practically still just a baby, and she's already gone through more than most adults. And there's nothing I can do to protect her."

"She's strong," Meredith whispered, although she had been wondering the same thing. How much more could their little girl take before she lost that innocent, beautiful light in her eyes?

…

"Cristina, your phone is… making noise," Burke told his wife sleepily late that night. A quick glance at the clock showed that it was almost two a.m. "Cristina…"

"All right. Okay," she finally agreed and leaned over to grab her phone, which had fallen off her bedside table. When Meredith's number showed on the screen, her heart sank a little; she was expecting the worst. "Hey, how are you?" she wondered, getting up and heading into the kitchen.

"I'm fine. Sorry, I didn't realize it was so late; I just need to talk for a minute," she answered, not really making much sense.

"Meredith, it's two o'clock in the morning, and my attention span is pretty much nonexistant. You're gonna have to try harder to actually say something. What's going on?" she questioned, rummaging through the refrigerator before finally settling on leftover Chinese food.

She paused for a moment. She had promised that she wouldn't tell anyone about Addison yet, but there was so much on her mind. "Well, I can't tell you everything, but you'll find out soon enough. But… Derek isn't having an affair."

"I knew Evil Spawn was full of crap," she answered. "So, what was he doing sneaking around with Addison, then?"

"Fight Club, for now," Meredith replied simply, and Cristina knew not to ask anything more about it. After a minute, she added, "Aida's crying… I should go. But thanks for letting me ramble."

"Any time. That's what friends are for, right? Good night, Mer."

A moment later, Oliver walked sleepily into the kitchen. "Hi, Mommy," he smiled, taking a seat beside his mother.

"You should be in bed," she told him as he leaned against her shoulder and wrapped his arm around her free one.

It was almost amusing just how different all her children were. Lillian was eternally curious, always looking around at the world with her big brown eyes; as soon as she learned how to speak, Cristina knew, she would be the one to ask the never-ending questions. Aaron was her little mischief-maker. She knew that he did what he did just to get a laugh out of people, but all the same, he would be the one on whom they would need to keep a close watch.

Then there was her oldest. Oliver was quiet and thoughtful, patient and intelligent. He had brought an entirely new and amazing aspect to her life—motherhood. In the tiniest ways, he changed her; he made her better. He showed her a part of herself that even she never knew could exist.

"I can't sleep," he sighed. "Then I heard you in here, so I decided to come hang out."

She smiled and held out her fork, offering, "Want some?"

But he crinkled his nose and shook his head. "Mommy, do you think that maybe this weekend, we could go to dinner. Just you and me?"

"I'd like that, Oliver. Just you and me. It's a date, okay?" she agreed.

"Okay," he grinned and leaned over to give her a kiss on the cheek. "'Night, Mommy. I love you," he said before hurrying upstairs back to bed.

For most of her life, Cristina hadn't wanted to be a mother. However, as she watched her little boy, she knew that her three beautiful children were the best things she had ever done with her life.

…

"Hey, Elle, what are you reading?" Hayden wondered, taking a seat between his sister and his mother on the sofa the following evening.

For the first time in a while, the Shepherd family was spending a quiet evening at home. Both Derek and Meredith knew that soon, there would be little normalcy in any of their lives—particularly Elena's—and they didn't want to take any opportunity for granted.

"William and I have a school project, so I'm reading up on it," she smiled and began to explain. "We have to explain to the class about a career, and we've decided to talk about what surgeons do. We're even going to dress up in scrubs and wear surgical caps."

"Cool!" he exclaimed in pure admiration. Of course, there was nothing that the little boy didn't idolize about his big sister. To him, she was the most amazing person in the world.

"Have you decided what you're going to say?" Derek wondered as he sat on the floor playing with little Aida, who was lying on her back and chewing on one of her toys while she babbled happily.

"I'm going to talk about neonatal and neuro, and William is going to talk about cardiothoracics and ortho," Elena explained. "We're only gonna talk about it a little bit, though—like what each specialty does and that kind of stuff—because most people who haven't grown up in the gallery of an OR won't really get it yet."

"Won't get what?" Hayden wondered.

"What it feels like to know that you hold someone's life in your hands," she whispered, and Derek could already see in her eyes that she had a passion for surgery, even at such a young age. Her enthusiasm was a breath of fresh air, and he hoped that no matter what she decided to do with her life—surgery or otherwise—she would always keep that sense of passion.

"Okay, my little surgical junkies, I think it's time to get ready for bed," Meredith laughed, noting that both Hayden and Aida were beginning to get heavy-eyed.

"Aw, Mommy, not yet," the little boy pleaded, giving Meredith exactly the same look that Derek did when he wanted something.

When either of them gave her that look, she found it incredibly difficult to say no; those big blue eyes staring back at her tugged at her heartstrings like nothing else. "Derek, a little help here?"

"How about once everyone changes in to their pajamas, I'll read you guys a bedtime story?" he offered.

"Can we listen in your room? It's so comfy," Hayden commented. "Please, please, please?"

Even before he said yes, Derek knew that he would inevitably end up with three sleeping children crowded into the middle of his bed. And an hour later, that's exactly what he got. But as he looked at their peaceful little faces, he realized just how lucky he was to have those three children to crowd his bed and cause a sleepless night.

"Derek, look at Aida," Meredith whispered, trying to stifle a giggle as she pointed to the little girl asleep across her chest.

He couldn't help but smile when he saw the grin on his daughter's face. "Wonder what she's thinking about?"

"That is the billion dollar question, isn't it?" Meredith replied, smiling gently at Elena, who was curled up next to her father with Amélie securely in her arms. "But we're good at this, right? I mean, we're the kind of parents that our kids will feel comfortable talking to about anything, aren't we?"

"I'd like to think that we are. Of course, when we've got a bunch of teenagers around the house, maybe not so much," he laughed.

"Okay, let's not even talk about that," Meredith said quickly. And although the tone in her voice hinted at a joke, she was just the tiniest bit serious; her babies were hardly babies anymore—especially Elena and Hayden—and it terrified her. However, her heart soon sank as she realized that not being around to see them grow up would be far worse.

"Hey, are you all right?" Derek wondered when she suddenly grew quiet.

But Meredith just sighed. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just that… right now, they're safe and happy, and we can protect them. Right now, at this moment, nothing can hurt them. But tomorrow… all that's going to change. And I feel helpless."

"That's what we get for becoming surgeons… Everything we know about control completely goes to crap outside the OR."

"Isn't it the truth," she whispered.