This chapter's title is a play on the titles of Scrubs episodes. The show is often self-reflective while being comedic. That's why I chose it for this particular story.
The edits made Luffy not "American" anymore. Her name is now Kana. A flamer pointed out there was no America in Naruto and he's right, so I'm making it a little more realistic. Village of the Clouds for the win! I adore Yugiito Nii, she's a KITTY! I was so depressed when she died.
You do have to give me some credit. This was my very first fiction. So I didn't understand all the "rules" yet, nor was I as far into Naruto as I am now. So bear with me, that is why I make these edits. I didn't know what a Mary-Sue was or how fanfiction worked.
Temari and the Sand Sibs are in Konoha on another ally mission or something. They are analyzing Konohagakure's Academy techniques to instill in their own training regimen.
Main Pair: Naruto/Sakura
Secondary Pair: Sasuke/OC
Featured Pairs: Ino/Shikamaru, Temari/TenTen, Neji/Hinata
Mentioned Pairs: Asuma/Kurenai, Jiraiya/Tsunade
Warnings: If you consider NejiHina incest, then there's incest and if you consider yuri bad, then there's some TemaTen. So suck it up. There's a little language and some light sexual humor. *faux gasp*
Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto
Fiction & Shikai Kana © LuffyKun3695
Chapter 2: My Ramen
Sakura slipped into Ichiraku as inconspicuously as possible. She scanned the room. She noticed Naruto sitting at the bar eating with Iruka. Her heart flew to her throat and she felt suddenly choked. She was quickly beginning to regret her decision to confess. She wasn't ready for this. What if he turned her down? What if he laughed in her face? What if—
"Sakura-Chan!" a familiar voice called her name. Sakura plastered a smile on her face, turning to find Ino waving at her, trying to get her attention. "Come sit with us!" Sakura bit her lip and wandered over to the table. She stole a glance at the bar just in time to see Naruto stealing a glance at her.
She turned to her tablemates and nearly vomited on the table. It was a table of competition: Ino, Hinata, Temari, TenTen, and her newest acquaintance, Shikai Kana. The five gorgeous women smiled, exchanging greetings. They beamed at her with their pretty faces and flipped gorgeous hair. She felt a surge of jealousy shoot through her, an impending fear of losing what she had yet to gain.
"This is Kana." Ino indicated the young lady to her left. "She's from the Village of the Hidden Clouds." She tossed her hair when she spoke, a habit Sakura loathed. Her eyes shot towards the bar, checking to make sure that Naruto didn't notice the golden-maned goddess she intermittently called her best friend.
"We've met." Kana grinned, her fang-like teeth glinting in the light. She winked at Sakura. The pink haired girl turned crimson. Was Kana flirting with her!?
Sakura turned to Hinata, who smiled shyly. She looked nervous. She glanced in Naruto's direction, blushing ferociously. Sakura's heart went out to the girl. After all, she was harboring the same feelings for the blonde-haired genin. Yet at the same time, she hated Hinata. What if Naruto didn't like her anymore? What if he liked Hinata now? She always harbored feelings for him. She hadn't fluttered between affections like Sakura. Hinata's emotions hadn't flitted from Sasuke to Naruto to Lee and back again. She felt like an awful person.
- 0 -
Naruto & Iruka…
At the bar, Naruto shot sly glances towards the object of his love. God, she was beautiful. She looked particularly delicious today, her blue top offsetting her petal pink locks. He sighed; she wasn't interested in him after all. She loved Sasuke.
Iruka eyed him curiously, "What's wrong?" he asked politely. Naruto looked back at him. For a moment he wondered if he should tell Iruka what was going on. It had been ages and ages since his sensei was a thirteen year old boy. He probably couldn't even remember what it was like.
Iruka eyed him. "What's wrong?" he asked politely, putting his arm around Naruto's shoulders.
"It's this girl," Naruto stared at his ramen, stirring it absentmindedly with his chopsticks. For the first time in his life, he wasn't that hungry for it. "I like her, but she likes someone else."
"You like Sakura, but she likes Sasuke," Iruka stated plainly. Naruto stared, dumbstruck. Iruka laughed, "Seriously, did you think you were hiding it well? You're transparent." He poked his forehead with his chopsticks. Naruto pushed his lower lip out in his signature puppy dog pout. Iruka flicked his forehead again.
Rubbing his forehead furiously Naruto said, "She's totally in love with Sasuke and I don't know what to do about it." He sighed. Naruto shot a glimpse at Sakura's table again. She was deep in conversation with someone Naruto didn't recognize. "Who's that?" Naruto asked Iruka, gesturing at the dark haired kunoichi.
"Shikai Kana." Iruka informed him, "She's a Genin from the Village of the Hidden Clouds. We just signed a treaty with them and we're basically using her time here as an act of goodwill to seal the deal." He explained, "Kana will be staying in Konohagakure and joining a three-man team temporarily to get a feel for our village. Her Kage is very interested in how our Ninja Academy is run. We're looking to combine our strengths and produce more skilled and successful shinobi." Naruto pretended he understood the explanation by nodding slightly. Iruka could see through it, but he thought it was funny so he let him continue with his little charade of intelligence.
"Whose team will she be on?" Naruto asked, slurping up more ramen noodles. A few splashed onto his chin. He wiped them away with the back of his hand.
"Yours," Iruka smiled.
"WHAT?" Naruto choked on the noodles in his mouth. Iruka laughed and nodded, patting him on the back. Naruto considered it for a second. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, he shouldn't judge someone before he got to know them. He scratched his head absentmindedly and winded another bite of ramen around his chopsticks.
A small bell tinkled the arrival of a new costumer and Naruto instinctively turned to see who had just entered the shop. Dark hair and a brooding manner, God no! Sasuke! Naruto flinched involuntarily. This was bad. Sasuke looked around and then seated himself at the bar, one seat away from Naruto.
Iruka smiled slyly, "I'm gonna go." He whispered in Naruto's ear. Naruto tried to beg him to stay, but Iruka held up a firm hand. "I think you need to sort this out by yourself." He advised Naruto.
He handed Naruto a little money, 'to pay for the ramen,' and left.
- 0 -
The Table…
"Oh my GOD!" Ino squealed, a noise Sakura could never quite get used too, like
"OH MY GOD!" Ino squealed, "There's Sasuke-Kun! He's SO hot!" She sighed, dramatically. Temari and TenTen smiled. Ino took it as an agreement. Hinata didn't move, nor did Sakura. "What's wrong Sakura?" Ino asked, staring at friend. She'd prepared herself for a fight, but there was none, "Sasuke-Kun's here! Why aren't you reacting?"
Sakura didn't know what to do, "I—I don't feel that great." She hoped the excuse wouldn't fall flat. Ino raised her pale eyebrow, but didn't question further.
"What do you think?" Ino turned to Kana.
"Of what?" Kana asked she tucked her raven hair behind her ears. Ino's eyes widened, it was impossible. No one could be stupid enough as not to notice the sexiness that was Uchiha Sasuke.
"Of Sasuke-Kun!" Ino gestured to the raven haired Uchiha seated at the bar. "Isn't he just the cutest?"
Kana glanced at him with little interest, her eyes traced Ino's gesture slowly following it up to the boy at the bar. Her gaze met with Sasuke's. The electricity between them made the thin pink hairs on the back of Sakura's neck stand up with the static. She stared at Kana, then Sasuke. She could almost see the chemistry.
- 0 -
The Bar…
Naruto turned to Sasuke to find that he was staring across the room. At whom? At Sakura? That bastard! He followed Sasuke's gaze to Kana. OH MY GOD! He gasped despite himself and Sasuke turned to face him. Naruto grinned uncomfortably.
"Hi," Naruto smirked. He knew a secret, but more importantly Sasuke didn't love Sakura, which meant she was up for grabs. Unless… she loved Lee! Or Shikamaru! Or Kiba! Or Chouji! God forbid. Or worse… what if she refused to give up on Sasuke? He shuddered at the thought.
Sasuke glanced back at the girl's table, "Who's that?" Sasuke asked. His voice was low, emotionless. His obsidian eyes refused to meet Naruto's. Naruto grinned, his white, fanglike teeth flashing with his smile.
"Her name's Shikai Kana. She's a ninja from the Village of the Hidden Clouds. She's going to be here for a while." Naruto told Sasuke, winding his ramen around his chopsticks. He snuck a glance at Sasuke, trying to read his emotions. It was impossible.
"Is she…" he couldn't voice it. He was confused, Naruto could tell that much. He finally felt that for the first time in his life, he could relate to Sasuke.
"What?" Naruto queried.
"Is Kana um… involved?" his voice dropped until it was barley audible.
Naruto smiled. He scooted over one seat. He understood exactly what Sasuke was going through. He felt the same way about Sakura. "I don't think so." He replied, "Iruka-Sensei told me that she's going to be on our team."
Sasuke's eyes widened ever-so-slightly. "Really?" he sounded almost excited, Sasuke fell silent. He was experiencing an emotion unfamiliar to him, one he hadn't felt since before Itachi slaughtered his clan. He could barely remember the name of it. The annoying blonde was seated at his side, stirring his ramen while sneaking hurried glances at him. And for once, in the throes of such complicated thought, he found that Naruto didn't annoy him at all.
Naruto was also quiet. He was contemplating whether or not to ask Sasuke the question that was on his mind, a question that was constantly biting at him. He decided that in Sasuke's infatuated state he could ask it and avoid being called an idiot.
"Sasuke?" Naruto found his voice to be choked and stuttering with fear, "Can I ask you something?" he tried to be polite because, seeing Sasuke like this, in love, he couldn't hate him. He almost saw him as a friend…
"What?" Sasuke inquired.
"Does this mean that you're not in love Sakura-Chan?"
"WHAT!?" Sasuke seemed surprised, or, as surprised as an emotionless Uchiha could seem. He ran his fingers through his raven hair in a confused fashion, trying to regain his composure.
"Sumimasen," Naruto apologized, turning his eyes to his ramen. A stray fishcake floated through it, he followed it with his eyes. "She likes you, you know." He found himself confessing, "I was just, wondering because I— I—" he stopped speaking. He couldn't say it, not to Sasuke. Not to the love of Sakura's life.
Sasuke stared at Naruto, "I'm not in love with Sakura." He stated plainly, "Do you remember our first day with Kakashi-Sensei? He asked us what we liked. I don't like much, and Sakura is not one of those things."
"Oh," Naruto was on the verge of tears because without knowing it, Sasuke had just said the right thing. He'd just made Naruto's day. Naruto finished his ramen, paid the waitress, and left.
"Arigoto," was all he could say…