Buffy Big Brother - Week 2 - Day 3 (morning)

The housemates are settling into a routine whilst in the Big Brother House, Buffy and Giles are training outside in the garden, Cordelia is on a sun lounger topping up her tan and dreaming of her eventual global domination, Willow and Xander are feeding the chickens whilst trying to avoid the attentions of the now notorious "Mr Cluck" alternatively know by the name Chicken Psycho by the rest of the housemates. Spike and Drusilla have retired to a special private bedroom that Big Brother has been forced to give them after numerous complaints from the other housemates regarding as Giles put it "Public displays of affection that are possibly only fit to be screened on late night cable not a reality tv show". He is not impressed when Xander asks him if he's missing his cable subscription to "Bountiful British Booty" whilst in the house. Angel and Oz are in the living room having as lively a conversation as possible given their natural taciturn states and trying to avoid mention of the noises eminating from Spike and Drusillas bedroom.

"So…. Oz, what type of music does your band play?" Angel asks.

"Well 'play and music' are kind of loose terms for us, between us we only know 4 maybe 5 chords."

Angel thinks about this for a moment and says hopefully "Right….. so do you know any Barry Manilow songs?"

Before he can reply Oz is called into the Diary Room for a chat with Big Brother.

Hello Oz, how're you feeling about your time so far in the Big Brother House?

"Its OK I guess, not too sure about the vampires and all – cause y'know potential for bloodloss there."

What do you think of your housemates so far, is there anyone you're getting on with well?

"I like Willow, she's kinda sweet and shy, then again sometimes she's y'know… Willow."

And your other housemates, how are you finding them?

"They're ok I guess"

Is there anything else that Big Brother can do for you Oz?

"Well, actually… it's kinda silly, but just before I came into the house I was playing with my little cousin Jordy and he bit me, doesn't seem to be healing and it feels all….. itchy."

Don't concern yourself with it Oz - it's probably nothing.

Buffy Big Brother - Week 2 - Day 3 (afternoon)

Cordy: "Xander, can I borrow your jacket, it's kind of chilly out here in the garden."
Xander: "What happened to yours?"
Cordy: "You're looking very... very... tall this evening"
Xander: "Oh really? and I suppose you think my vote can be bought?"
Cordy: "Two days supply of sickly fattening cakes, sweets and biscuits?"
Cordy: '...and ooky sugar drenched breakfast cereals?
Xander "You've got yourself a deal."

Buffy Big Brother - Week 2 - Day 3 (evening)

Cordelia is called into the Diary Room by Big Brother

Hello Cordelia

"Hi Big Brother, you're sounding amazingly good this evening"

Ummmm right...Cordelia, you are aware that Big Brother are able to see and hear everything that goes on within the house and grounds?

"Sure, thats why I always make sure I look my absolute best, hey I can't disappoint my legions of devoted fans can I, it's my duty to be as good as only I can be, you know for the sake of all the little people out there who're poor or ugly or y'know... like Willow" (she pulls a disgusted face towards the huge mirror and the cameras behind it) "people expect so much more of you when you're beautiful you know... it's kinda hard on me"

I'm sure it is Cordelia... anyhow as we said, you are aware that Big Brother can see and hear everything that goes on between the housemates

"Aha... so you'll be soundproofing the Billy Idol wannabe and his Ladyfreaks bedroom then.. whew cause that was getting really annoying not to mention gross and disturbing on a national scale".

No, Cordelia were you attempting to sway Xanders vote for the upcoming nominations using bribery and a not unimpressive amount of cleavage in the garden earlier?

"Ummm... (she smiles brightly) No"?

Right, Cordelia Big Brother is giving you an official warning. Any attempts to buy or sway others votes will be seen as a direct contravention of the Rules and you will be evicted from the house as we see fit... you have seen the portal that goes to an unspecified dimension of hell, haven't you?

"Yes" (shamefaced and sulky) "Sorry Big Brother"

Thank you Cordelia, you may leave the Diary Room

She is called back into the Diary Room shortly thereafter when having again found evidence of Mr Cluck (this time in her Prada backback), threatens Willow with the imminent dismemberment of FrankenBarbie down the kitchen waste disposal shoot.

We later see Willow and Oz giving Mr Cluck extra helpings of Chicken feed and congratulating him on a job well done.