Song in this chapter is "Best of You" by the Foo Fighters.

I've got another confession to make

I'm your fool

Everyone's got their chains to break

Holding you

Nick sighed and swore under his breath when he felt the sharp pains in his ribs. He was very annoyed by the whole situaiton. He hated not being able to move and being too tired to care. He hated the constant pain that he was starting to get used to, and he was really starting to hate being awake. He wanted to sleep for a very long time and wake up when he wasn't so tired. But most of all, he hated looking at Warrick. He hated seeing the pain in his best friend's eyes, hated seeing the fear he knew was there because of him. He hated not knowing what to say or do, because there was very little he was capable of right now. He hated the fact that he was very well aware of the fact that if he died, Warrick was gonna be the one watching.

Warrick could easily tell Nick was fustrated. He was obviously having great difficulty breathing and controling the shaking of his body. He watched silently as his brother tried to move, even though it was causing more pain. Warrick knew Nick too well. If someone wouldn't let him do something, or told him he couldn't do it, it just made him want to do it even more. And 9 times out of 10, Nick did it.

"This is fucking ridiculous." Nick said in annoyance. "Why the hell can't I move?"

Warrick took a deep breath to keep his tears at bay. "You're just tired man, you've been through a lot. Just relax, you don't have to move. You're probably making it worse anyway, it obviously hurts you to move."

"Breathing hurts. Everything hurts." Nick said. He tried one last time to move his arms, then his legs, before he gave up. "Whatever." He tried taking a deep breath, but stopped when he felt one of his ribs crack. He closed his eyes for a minute before opening them and looking over at Warrick. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

Warrick frowned. "For what? You didn't do anything wrong...I should be apologizing to you."

Nick shook his head slightly. "This isn't fair to you...you shouldn't have to stay here and keep me awake for 2 days. I know I made you promise me you wouldn't...but you can leave."

Warrick squeezed Nick's hand when he realized he was still holding it. "Why the hell would I want to do that? I made that promise because I intend to keep it. I'm sorry to tell ya Nick...but you're stuck with me for the remainder of your stay here."

Nick smiled. "That won't be so bad." He said before they both fell silent.

Warrick just couldn't get one question from his head. He knew why Nick had done so much to save him and Catherine. He's Nick. But he couldn't figure out why... He let his thoughts trail away from it. It was definitly not the right time to ask him anything, especially that. He swore to himself when Nick read his mind.

"Something wrong?" He asked before laughing slightly. "I mean, other than this..." He looked around the room and at the machine next to his bed to show what he meant.

Warrick smiled at Nick's never ending sense of humor. "No...it's...just forget about it."

"You can tell me bro."

Warrick laughed. "You never let anything go, do you?"

"No, I really don't. You should know that by now."

Warrick gave in, as much as he didn't want to. They needed something else to talk about. Over the past 17 or so hours, they had covered virtually every topic except the one on Warrick's mind right now, so he really didn't have a choice. "I was just...I wanted to know...it was just kinda weird when you..." He had no idea how to say it, so he just said it. "Why did you tell that guy...Sam...to kill you?"

Nick didn't remember doing that at first, but then it all came back to him. He remembered feeling the metal barrel pressed tightly against his temple as his knees started to give out. He remembered telling the man holding the gun to just do it. He hadn't thought about the fact that Warrick and Catherine...not to mention Brass and Grissom...had been right in front of him. He had to give Warrick an answer, so he decided to go with the truth. "I just...I wanted to see if someone would actually have the guts to go through with it. For 26 years...ever since I was 9...I've been waiting for someone to finish the job...for someone to just get it over with, but they never do." Nick said the last part almost in a whisper. He looked down at his pale arms and appeared to forget that Warrick was there.

Warrick let Nick's words sink in before he asked another question he was fairly sure he didn't want to know the answer to, but at the same time he needed to. "Did you want him to?" There was no emotion in his voice. It was flat, and sounded very odd coming from Warrick, even to him.

Nick looked up and met Warrick's dark green eyes. He opened his mouth to answer, but closed it again when he realized he didn't have one. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from crying when the realization that he had to actually think about it dawned on him. The look in Warrick's eyes when he didn't respond right away with a confident 'No.' wasn't helping too much either. Nick looked back down at his arms and let a few tears fall from his eyes and slowly roll down his cheeks. I didn't want to die, not there, not like that in front of them. I don't want to die...do I?

Warrick's breath caught in his throat and his hands started shaking slightly. "Nicky...man...please answer me. Say something."

Nick closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to look at Warrick. He was thinking about all of the horrible things that have happened to him over the last 35 years of his life. The babysitter...Kristy...Crane...Gordon...and those were just the major ones. He knew he would give anything to never have to think about those things ever again. He didn't want to sleep only a few hours a week because he's still afraid of the dark and have dreams about being six feet underground in a plexiglass coffin. He didn't like not being able to date because everytime he had sex with someone, it inevitably reminded him of when he was 9 and more times than not, he'd freak out. He didn't want to have to check his attic every night before he went to bed to feel safe, even though he was still unable to fall asleep. He didn't want to feel so worthless and pathetic anymore.

"I guess I sorta did...I have nothing to live for, Warrick." Nick said softly.

Warrick gripped Nick's hand firmer. "Then you have everything to fight for." Nick opened his eyes and forced himself to look at Warrick. "Nicky...I know a lot of awful stuff has happened to you that you in no way deserved...but you somehow keep going. I don't know how you do it, but you do. So why give up now? I don't care what the doctor says your chances are, you can do this."

Nick smiled sadly. "I'm not sure I want to do this...it'd be better for everyone if I just..." He trailed off and looked at the foot of his bed.

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, or say anything remotely close to it ever again. You obviously didn't hear anything when the entire team, Brass included, came in and each told you how much they would miss you if you didn't make it. I don't know where you get the idea that anyone would be better off without you, but you had better get it out of your head pretty damn fast." Warrick took a deep breath so he wouldn't start yelling at Nick. He kept his voice low and steady. "You can't give up on me now man...you know I can't do this without you."

Nick let his eyes switch back over to Warrick. He smiled, this time a real Nick Stokes smile. "I never said I was gonna give up...it was just an appealing idea."

Warrick smiled back at Nick. "Yeah, well being my best man at my wedding better be more of an appealing idea than that."

Nick's smile widened, and all the pain seemed to disappear. "You asked her? She said yes?"

Warrick nodded. "Yeah...you were right...again..."

Nick laughed, but stopped abuptly and winced in pain. "Owe...but that's great man. I'd hug you...but that's apparantly not an option."

"That's okay...you just sit there and relax. But that's what you have to promise me."

Nick's smile faded. "Given the cirumstances-"

"Nick." Warrick cut him off.

Nick sighed and nodded. "Yeah...of course." He smiled slightly again. "I promise."

My head is giving me life or death

But I can't choose I swear I'll never give in

I refuse

Catherine ran down the hall towards Grissom's office, almost knocking Hodges over in the process.

"Make a siren noise or something to give people a heads up." He said as Catherine ran past him, ignoring his presence. She threw the door open and ran up to Grissoms desk, who was staring at her open mouthed.

"Catherine, what the he-"

"Nick woke up!" She said breathlessly.

Grissom's mouth hung a little lower. "He did? When? Is he gonna be okay?" He was now standing behind his desk and had completely forgotten about the paperwork he had to get done so Ecklie wouldn't flip out.

"Like...I don't know...a little while ago...Warrick just had Dr. Kahys call me, but..." Her voice trailed off.

Grissom's excitement turned to fear. "But what?"

Catherine sighed. "He has to stay awake for at least 48 hours, or he'll never wake up again. There's still a chance of another heart attack or a collapsing lung. He can't move at all really...but he can talk and remembers what happened and everything."

Grissom took a deep breath and nodded slowly. "Okay. We have to tell the rest of the team, they need to know." Catherine nodded in agreement. "We also should think about calling his parents."

Catherine this time shook her head no. "His parents don't want to know."

"What do you mean?" Grissom said with a frown.

"After Nick was kidnapped," Catherine explained. "His mom and dad said they don't want to know when his life is in danger anymore. They only want to know after he's fully recovered or if he..." She didn't finish the sentence. "Jenn is who we're supposed to tell."

Grissom nodded. He knew Nick's sister, they all did. She visited Nick a lot. They were only 2 years apart, her being the older of the two. Out of the 7 siblings, they were the closest. Over all the times she's been to Vegas, her and Catherine have gotten very close. They would spend a lot of time together shopping, going to dinner and movies. Nick joked that coming to visit him was an excuse for her to visit with Catherine. They had become like sisters to each other, and Nick was very grateful for that. "Okay. Do you want to call her while I go tell the rest of the team?"

Catherine sighed again. "Yeah, better get it over with." She slowly left Grissom's office for the break room, where she could call Jenn, and Grissom paged his team members to come to his office immediatly.

I was too weak to give in

Too strong to loose

"Hello?" Jenn answered in her usual happy tone.

"Hey Jenn, it's Catherine."

"Oh my God, how are you?"

"I'm fine..."

Jenn picked up on Catherine's obvious concern and nervousness for something. "What's wrong? Is everything alright?"

Catherine closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "It's Nick."

Jenn gasped. "Oh my God...not again...is he okay?"

Catherine shook her head even though she knew Jenn couldn't see her. "It's a long story...we were held hostage at a crime scene, and he took a pretty brutal beating. Then when he was at the hospital...he had a heart attack and fell into a coma for a couple days..."

"You've got to be kidding me." Jenn thought out loud.

"He woke up a few hours ago, but it's not looking too good. He could have another heart attack, one of his lungs could collapse, or he could fall back into a coma. Warrick's with him right now...he has to stay awake for at least 48 hours. The doctors don't think there's a very good chance of him living...but you know Nicky."

Jenn laughed softly. "Yeah..." Catherine bit her lip when she heard Jenn sniffle quietly. She was fighting back her own tears. Jenn took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Okay...I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Okay. Call me and let me know when you're gonna get in, I'll pick you up at the airport."

"I will...thanks Catherine."

"Anytime sweetie. I'll call you if anything changes."

"Alright. I'll talk to you later."

"Bye." Catherine slowly hung up and sank into a chair. She thought about getting up and joining the rest of the team in Grissom's office, but decided against it when she realized she was shaking. She took several slow, deep breaths and rested her head against the wall behind her, closing her eyes. Her closed eyelids did nothing to stop the tears from finally falling from her eyes.

My heart is under arrest again

But I break loose

Grissom stood behind his desk, not moving from where he had stood when Catherine had told him the latest on Nick. Sara, Greg, Brass and Doc Robbins were in front of him, all eagerly waiting for him to tell them what was going on. They knew it had something to do with Nick, and they didn't like the fact that Grissom was being so quiet.

Greg rolled his eyes when Grissom didn't say anything after they'd been waiting for a good 3 or 4 minutes. "Grissom, what the hell is going on? You're killing us, man."

Grissom broke his stare from his fetal pig and looked at his team. He sighed heavily and cleared his throat before repeating to them what Catherine had just told him. The team stared back at Grissom silently, none of them speaking after he had finished.

"This, by no means, indicates that we're giving up any hope whatsoever. We all know how strong Nick is and what he's capable of doing. We've gotta be strong for him, and each other." Their supervisor looked back and forth between each of them, glancing at them over his glasses. He hoped his words could somehow encourage them and keep their spirits up, no matter how heartwrenching their current situation was. Losing Nick would tear them apart, something they coulnd't afford to let happen.

Has someone taken your faith

Its real the pain you feel

You trust you must confess

Nick struggled at keeping his eyes open and breathing at the same time. It was hard enough handling one or the other, nevermind at once. He was feeling very claustrophobic due to the fact he was unable to move and/or breathe. He was very grateful, however, for the fact that he was not surrounded by plexiglass and being eaten by ants.

Warrick wished he could snap his fingers and make everything go away. He would be fine with it if he woke up and this had all been a very messed up nightmare. The cold, shaky hand in his and raspy voice coming from his best friend contradicted that wish.

"Did you ever find out why they did that?"

Warrick didn't understand what Nick meant at first, then he figured out he meant the guys that had held them hostage and almost beaten him to death. "Actually...no, we didn't. They were both taken out by the snipers...except for..." Warrick trailed off when he remembered Ray hadn't been outside when the other two had been shot.

Nick looked at the table next to his bed. "I...uh...I killed him..." Nick said quietly.

Warrick swore to himself. "What happened?"

Nick didn't look back up at Warrick. "After he pulled me back inside, he pulled a knife and held it against my neck..." Warrick glanced down at the thin, scabbing cut just above Nick's Adam's Apple. "Then I got away from him...but he stabbed me...so I fell over...and stabbed him in the chest when he ran at me..." Nick tried to laugh it off, but it was hollow and forced.

Warrick gently put his other hand on Nick's arm. "It's not your fault Nick, you had to protect yourself."

Nick looked up at Warrick. "I know...pretty stupid that I feel bad for killing someone who would have killed me, huh?"

Warrick shook his head and smiled. "Considering your personality, no. It's normal Nick, not stupid."

Nick nodded slowly. "I know...at least he didn't hurt you or Catherine."

"I never thanked you enough for that." Warrick said.

"It's no big-."

Warrick shook his head. "No, it is. You didn't have to do that. You took care of her for me when I couldn't, you'll never know how thankful I am for that."

Nick smiled. "I'd do it all again if I had to. I think it's in my job description somewhere anyway."

Warrick laughed. "I wouldn't be surprised at all man."

They fell into a comfortable silence for a few minutes. The urge so sleep was starting to become too much for Nick. He was glad when Dr. Kahys walked in, giving him something else to distract himself from the pain and urge to close his eyes for good.

"Hello gentleman." Dr. Kahys greeted cheerfully. "I've gotta hand it to you, Nick, you're doing very well. How are you feeling?"

Nick tried to shrug, but ended up swearing instead. "God damm it...better I guess..."

"Well that's good. You've made it very far..."

Kahys voice started to fade and Nick's vision was getting cloudier than before. Suddenly, his entire body went numb. He looked down at his arms and saw they were still shaking, but couldn't feel anything. The blurryness around his field of vision was slowly turning black as his lungs stopped taking in air after one last exhale. He looked over at Warrick, who was staring down at him in horror. He was saying something, but Nick couldn't hear him. Nick focused on Warrick, waiting for his vision to clear and hear what he was saying. His throat and lungs were burning from lack of oxygen, and he couldn't control anything anymore. He kept his eyes on Warrick as he tried to speak, his words strangled and forced. "I'm sorry." He croaked. His eyes slowly started closing, still focused on Warrick. He kept his eyes on his brother, the horror on his brother's face was the last thing he saw before his eyes closed.

The life

The love

You'd die to heal

The hope that starts

The broken hearts

Hope you enjoyed. The next chapter should be up in a couple of days. Thanks for all the reviews as well.