Buffy Big Brother Season 2

by Larbo

The sequel to Buffy Big Brother season 1. I think it's fair to say that while the first season was played mainly for laughs, the second particularly the final two days are a lot more dramatic in tone. Again, a collaborative effort!

4. Day 4

Buffy Big Brother - Week 2 - Day 4 (morning)

Xander's eyes opened reluctantly. He moaned, grunted, stretched, scratched (consciously this time), yawned, and finally felt able to sit up in bed and take in his surroundings. Life in the Big Brother house had started out well - he'd viewed it as a chance to get close to Buffy, blow off Sunnydale High for a while (Xander had been surprised when told that other schools didn't sit on the mouths of Hell) and generally just hang out with not much to do.
Of course, that had been before his grand plans had been hijacked by the pulse-impaired mob. First the Master last week, who'd scared him half to death, given him a massive bruise, but most heinously of all had granted Cordelia some actual basis on which to base her air of superiority. Then Spike and Drusilla...ergh. The rotting Romeo and Juliet had really gotten on his pectorals since their arrival in the house. Plus -you'd think two people who had spent centuries being English could have developed a more convincing accent.
But most of all, chief saboteur of Xander Harris' plan for happiness, was -
"What time tonight?"
The familiar voice drifted through from the wall outside. Xander felt every syllable twang a separate heartstring; but this would never be a tune he would get to play on his own instrument...
"Usual. If you're not too busy, that is."
He could hear her smile, hear her eyes twinkle. "Could happen. You know, given the right circumstances."
"Such as...?"
"Satan getting a part-time job as a snowplough driver in Hell, that kinda thing."
There was a pause. It wasn't an awkward silence pause. Xander knew very well what was filling that heartbeat. He thumped his pillow.
"Whaaasa?" Giles mumbled.
"Shut it, Captain Bookworm," Xander muttered back. Giles was a truly astonishing sleeper. Right now he was spreadeagled diagonally across his meagre single bed, like someone trying to make a snow angel out of duvet. During the night he would hold entire conversations with unseen others, from his superiors at the Watchers Council ("no, Mr Travers, frankly put you can kiss my arse") to an unseen audience ("this song is from my third hit album, We Who Watch").
The bedroom door opened. Angel stepped in, casting a cursory glance at his two roommates before making his way over to his own bed. Xander stole a glance at his watch. It was 5.34am. Just before sunrise. They'd probably been out in the garden most of the night. Probably just watching the stars. Probably nothing had even happened.
"This really is lovely tea, Mrs. Wyndham-Price," Giles blathered.
Angel grinned at this. Xander caught the grin out of the corner of his supposedly-sleeping eye. He glowered fiercely in the vampire's direction. Well, that settled it. All the probably in the world couldn't hide the fact that it would normally take nothing short of a blowtorch to make Angel produce a smile, and here he was grinning away like a moron, like the cat who got the Buffy-flavoured cre-
"Morning Xander," Angel offered casually.
"I'm sleeping, do you mind?"
"Sorry."
"Trying to keep my strength up. Gonna go out and get some sun later."
"Really," Angel replied neutrally, settling in to his own perfectly-made bed. "Well, tell Buffy I said hi."
"I hate you. I hope you know that."
"Gee, like it's not obvious."
"I'm glad it is."
"Pass the biscuits please."
"You're going to let her down, Angel. And when you do, I'm going to be there for her."
"Well what can I say? Must be great for her to have a friend like you."
Things happened very quickly after that. Xander was up and out of his bed in a flash, eyes flashing venom, arms raised, his brain caught between a desire to pound Angel's face and the sneaking realisation that he was very probably about to die. Angel, his reactions typically enhanced, was more than ready to meet the charge, rising to meet the teen from the opposite direction.
And in the middle, suddenly no longer concerned with tea or biscuits, was Giles, his arms outstretched. He grabbed the two men by the scruff of the neck and accelerated their impetus into one another -
- there was a single white flash and a whoomph noise -
- and Giles was standing alone, regarding the prone, unconscious bodies of Xander and Angel.
"That's for Captain Bookworm," he told Xander, and wandered off to fix himself breakfast.

Buffy Big Brother - Week 2 - Day 4 (afternoon)

"What's up with Giles?" Willow whispered to Buffy. "He's seems... different today. All burly and 'me-big-librarian, crush you good!' which is kinda odd, 'cos you know, librarians, not renowned for their troll-like qualities."

Buffy's quizzical frown was down to a minimum. She nodded in assent. "I think maybe the Sanctuary spell is letting him be the big dog. Something tells me that the boys room is getting interesting."

"Not that we'd be at all interested in the boys room," Willow countered, all but drawing a golden halo over her head.

"Boys," Buffy curled her lip in apparent disgust, "ick."

Willow protuded her tongue a fraction from between her teeth, a sure sign that she was happy. Buffy was glad to see her friend's mood improving vastly over the coccoon-like state she'd sometimes slipped into the previous week, and she had a sneaking suspicion that she knew preciely what, or who, was most responsible...

"So - Oz."

Willow bit her tongue. "Omf?"

"Or Omf, if you prefer," Buffy allowed graciously. "Tell me all, Willow Rosenberg, and don't spare the details or it'll go the worse for you."

She expected Willow to curl up into a small, horrified ball. Instead, all she got was a measuring gaze. "And in return for my confessionage?"

"In return?"

"I want full disclosure on you and Angel's little night meets."

"Half disclosure," Buffy stated firmly, her eyes twinkling merrily. "I don't want your ears to melt...and I'm sure Oz doesn't, either."

----

Cordelia cast a disgusted look at the giggling pair of Willow and Buffy. She was glad, however, that no-one was around to gauge the amount of genuine venom behind it; they would have noted that the Ice Queen seemed to be having difficulty keeping her temperatures as low as normal.

The truth was, Cordelia was lonely. Having Harmony in the Big Brother house had given her some sense of security that the old world order was still going strong - namely, Cordy at the top and Cordy-wannabes all the way down to the nerds and the nobodies. Harmony's eviction had reinforced this. But with her gone, who was there to chime in with unthinking agreeement at appropriate moments? Who could she count on to look almost as good as she did, thereby keeping her sharp and ahead of the pack? Certainly not the Nearly New Gang.

It was more than that, though. Being alone these past few days had shocked Cordelia in a way she'd never expected. Not because it had felt isolated and lonely, but because it had felt familiar. She realised now, more than she had ever suspected, that even with Harmony and her lesser lackeys around, even with her saccharine-saturated sychophants, she had been alone. Watching Buffy and Willow giggle now, she felt a pang of envy which almost made her howl in shame. If only someone would reach out to her, give her a chance, an opportunity to end the friendless, empty existence -

"Hey Cordelia," Xander said.

"Crawl away and die somewhere."

"Why don't I borrow your broomstick and I could fly there?"

"Anything that gets you out of here faster."

"This coming from the girl who wants my vote?"

"Big Brother had something to say about that."

"No sticky treats..." Xander made a face, then cheered up, "...on the other hand, no you. Every sugarfree cloud has a bitchfree lining."

"You can just f-"

"Xander...Cordelia...please attend the Diary Room."

The announcement brought everyone up short. Until then, everyone had been called to the Diary Room individually - with the exception of Willow, who had yet to be called at all.

"Do I have to share a room with him?"

"What she said, except with dimension in there."

"Yes. You do. Anything else would be a violation of the rules, and you don't want that..."

With that, the entrance portal spot activated. What appeared there, however, was not the fairly placid pulsing white gateway through which they'd all been deposited. Instead, this new portal was black, veined through with crimson red. Flames licked hungrily around its circumference.

"It's pretty, Spike! It's pretty! Oh I want to go - please say we can!" Drusilla squealed in delight, clapping her hands together.

Spike, wearing a more cautious expression, placed his hand on her shoulder in a quiet restraining movement. "Let's not be hasty, luv. Hell's a nice place to visit but I wouldn't wanna live there, and that thing looks pretty bloody one-way to me."

Cordelia turned to Xander. "What do you know," she beamed, as the gaping maw of the hell dimension imploded on itself, "someone found the one thing it would take to get me alone with you, Xander Harris."

"Funny," Xander mused "I thought it was a portal to hell, not twenty bucks."

Buffy Big Brother - Week 2 - Day 4 (pre-nominations)

There was precisely one chair in the Diary Room. It was big enough for precisely one person. Xander and Cordelia stood in silence for a moment regarding it. All that was missing was a piece of tumbleweed cliché-ing past.
Xander inclined his head. Cordelia examined the gesture for sarcasm, found none, and (after a moment's judicious hesitation) sat herself down on the chair, trying to keep her surprise from showing. It was an uncharacteristically chivalrous gesture from Harris, and one that threw her off guard slightly. But then, she reflected uncomfortably, she didn't really know Xander well enough to be certain if it was uncharacteristic. Maybe -
"Move over," Xander grunted, shunting her across the seat's surface. They teetered on the edge of balance for a second. Cordelia felt the cold hard edge of familiarity again - she just wished it wasn't pressing painfully into her calves.
"There are things," Cordelia declared, as they shifted for pole position, "that live on the backs of ticks that I rank higher in God's great chain than you, Xander."
"Coming from someone who might make a living someday on her own back, I take that as a complimenttttoowwwww," he trailed off, rubbing the spot on his forearm where she'd just smacked him.
"Xander, Cordelia?"
"What?" they chorused, slightly annoyed at being interrupted.
"You've both been called in here to discuss your socialisation with the housemates."
"Which housemates in particular would this be?" Xander shot back, feeling like he'd had enough. "The bloodsucking fiend from hell - no offence, Cordy - or his lil' corpse of necro-bumpy-and-grindy? Or forehead-umbrella guy?"
"We assume you mean Spike, Drusilla, and Angel. And if you think this refers to them, it doesn't. We didn't expect you to socialise with them, Xander. But the isolation from your friends is becoming a worry."
"Aww, did you get nominated for eviction from Super Friends?" Cordelia cooed in mock sympathy. "Who are you going to talk about the changing face of loserdom in today's world with now?"
"Cordelia, you're in no position to lecture. Your warning for vote-tampering yesterday was, quite frankly, the icing on the cake."
"What do you care?" Cordelia replied acidly. "As long as the public love me; and, if they have minds and aren't complete morons - no offence, Xander - they surely do, I don't have to explain my actions to you."
"Me neither," Xander echoed. "I haven't broken any of your rules, so don't threaten me with that portal crap."
"Do not presume to dictate to Big Brother."
Cordelia stood, flicking her hair in a gobsmackingly regal fashion and almost tipping Xander off balance. Her every syllable dripped authority. "You listen to me," she hissed, "you may be Big Brother, but I am Bigger Sister. I am Cordelia Chase. If I sound superior when I say that, it's because I have damn good reason to. Look at me, Ms Disembodied Voice. Look at these breasts...these legs...this hair. I was born to dictate. It's not just my role, it's my duty."
Face flushed, speech concluded, she waited for the response. It never came. Cordelia numbly unclenched the fists she hadn't realised she had made.
"I think you broke it," Xander said. His voice sounded a little strange.
"It needed said," Cordelia said simply. "Now get up and let me out of this grotty little broom cupboard."
A momentary flash of anxiety flitted across Xander's features. "Um, I'll be out in a second," he said. "You go on ahead."
Cordelia shrugged and stepped over him, her blood still roaring in her veins from the euphoria of her speech. It must have thrown her co-ordination off slightly; her heel caught a looping metal armrest and suddenly she was sprawling forward, headfirst -
Arms were around her. Xander's arms. He plucked her from inches above the suspiciously-thin looking carpeting and set her back on her feet again. Her brain eventually managed to tell her that she was thoroughly repulsed by this much physical contact with Harris. Absolutely thoroughly repulsed. Totally.
"Enjoy your little grope?" she tossed at him. It was a weak jibe, but it was all her bitch-mechanisms could produce at the moment. She was trying not to dwell on how surprisingly strong his grip had been, or the ease with which he'd deposited her right-way-up again. She was especially not thinking about how she'd suddenly discovered the real reason Xander had been reluctant to stand up.
"Even in my life, it didn't rank as a highlight," he retorted. For his part, Xander was positively nowhere near reminiscing about how lithe she'd been in his arms. The trouble had started when she'd demanded Big Brother take a look at her breasts. For Gods sake, he'd practically cried out, I'm seventeen. You can't give me a legitimate excuse like that, you bastards.
In short, they were never ever going to come together into a deep and passionate kiss.
Nor were they about to discover how impractical the Diary Room chair really was for comfortable two-person seating...

Buffy Big Brother - Day 4 - (Nominations)

Its been an eventful day in the house, possibly due to a high percentage of adolescent hormonal lust running through the majority of the housemates. Xander and Cordelia have returned from the Diary Room, both are quieter, less sarcastcic and more reflective than usual. Buffy and Angel are spending time together in the Girls Bedroom where again talking isn't being given exactly a high priority and Willow and Oz are out in the Garden feeding the chickens, whilst Oz tries in vain to evade the attentions of the psychotic Mr Cluck, who seems to have taken an intense dislike to him and is chasing him gleefully around the chicken pen trying to peck his ankles, much to Willows distress who had "just wanted the two guys in my life to get along."

Spike and Giles are in the kitchen trying to make something that according to Giles "is at least edible and by compromise that has neither blood nor weetabix in it." Drusilla is standing in front of one of the many Big Brother cameras in the hallway holding Miss Edith - who for the occasion has been given a new dress and blindfold - and is gently swaying in a semi-hypnotic fashion "look Miss Edith, they're all watching us now, all the little boys and girls, (giggles madly to herself) see we have to behave in the proper manner for young ladies or else we won't get any supper or be able to gouge out their little television watching eyes" she is interrupted, (much to the delight of the disconcerted Big Brother team behind the cameras), by an announcement to the housemates.

This is Big Brother - It is now time for your weekly nominations, all please assemble in the Living Room and await your call to the Diary Room.

The housemates all assemble obediently in the Living Room, Giles mentions that "Big Brother has a decidedly feminine voice and quite a nice one too," Spike overhears him and snidely retorts that "as a Libararian, Watcher and quite possibly the most boring git i've had the misfortune to be stuck with for the past century, it's the closest you may get to a meaningful relationship, (he contemplates this for a moment), other than your right hand of course." The housemates learn that the sanctuary spell stops not only physical violence from individual housemates, it also has the power to stop an extremely heavy book hitting its target when thrown by an incredibly p'd off watcher at a certain smirking bleach blond vampire.

Now now housemates, Big Brother would like to remind you all to play nicely with each other, as you are all aware this week we've brought in our own portal to hell, and we're not afraid to use it. Now Angel, please come to the Diary Room.

Angel enters the Diary Room and sits down into the chair only to find that it's broken and listing to one side. Big Brother assures him the the chair will be either fixed or replaced at the earliest convenience. When asked for this weeks nominations he has no hesitation in nominating Drusilla and Spike for eviction, when asked for his reasons he states that "Spike is just an Angelus wannabe with delusions of grandeur and none the style," when asked for his reason for nominating Drusilla he replies simply "Guilt, I did that to her, I took away everything she had, drove her mad then turned her so she could live forever in that insanity and I did it all for my own pleasure - I can't see her everyday and not feel the pain of doing that to her... plus the doll's kinda creepy too, feels like its watching me."

Thank you Angel, you may leave the Diary Room.

One by one they all enter the Diary Room to give their nominations. Buffy also nominates Spike and Drusilla citing her reasons as "They're like Eddie and Mayilyn Munsters inbred kids, plus I keep having this urge to stake them everytime they go into their bedroom... must be a slayer thing... right, 'cause its not like I'd be jealous of Elviras insane older sister and her Billy Idol wannabe boyfang?"

The rest of the housemates also nominate Spike and Drusilla for eviction as none of them feel comfortable with the vampire couples presence in the house, especially as it "worked out so well last week when The Master went 'fruit de loop' and tried to massacre the entire house" Giles points out. Miss Edith is also given as a reason on a number of occasions and even Willow who owns and loves the mangled FrankenBarbie remarks on the creepiness of the blindfolded porcelain doll.

Drusilla refuses to go into the Diary Room without Spike and despite threats from Big Brother is finally allowed to make her nominations with Spike comfortingly draped over her, she nominates Buffy first as "She's taken my darling boy away from me and now Daddy doesn't want to play in the shadows anymore, he's no fun, no teeth, no Grrrr, he's like a big soft puppy and he's on the Slayers leash." Her second nomination is for Giles "He's a Watcher they're all the same, all stuffy and musty and dusty, they all leave a nasty taste in my mouth.. of words and ink that gets stuck between my teeth."

Big Brother thanks Drusilla for her nominations and asks Spike if he'd like to make his, he nominates as Drusilla did - when asked for reasons he replies "Hey Cutie I'm the Big Bad here, I answer to no-one and my reasons are my own," (he looks at Drusilla who is again swaying to music that only she can hear and scraping her black and white nails down a mirror in which neither vampire has a reflection), "besides what my baby wants she gets, ok? and if it makes her happy I'll damn well do everything in my power to make sure it happens!"

Big Brother thanks you for your nominations you two may now leave the Diary Room.

Spike and Dru return to the Living Room to await the results of the nominations. After a few minutes of waiting Big Brother, (again in a feminine voice that Giles is pleasantly attracted to), makes the announcement.

This is Big Brother - the nominations have been counted and the housemates up for eviction this week are as follows... Drusilla and Spike.

The housemates are on the whole unsuprised to hear this with of course the exception of Spike and Drusilla who don't exactly react with good sportsmanship.

"Bloody Gits" from a disgruntled Spike. A high pitched hum followed by wailing is all that can be heard from Drusilla

Whilst the housemates are still assembled Big Brother makes another announcement.

As it's Buffys 17th Birthday tomorrow, you are all invited to a party in the evening to celebrate, it will start at 7pm. Big Brother will make arrangements for appropriate refreshments to be made available.

"Wow, thanks Big Brother" Buffy is visibly happy at the thought of a birthday bash, the rest of the housemates disperse to other areas of the house to discuss the upcoming party, evictions and in Cordelias case "Fashion options that won't be wasted on the undeserving of the house."

The house is again quiet for the moment as the various groups go about their business but as usual in Big Brother land it never stays that way for long, the nominations are done and this week it's Drusilla and Spike up for eviction, who stays... who goes... you decide!!