Chapter Twenty-Three: Waiting on an Angel

Waiting on an angel
One to carry me home
Hope you come to see me soon,
'Cause I don't want to go alone,
I don't want to go alone

Ben Harper

…

Mark took a deep breath as he walked through Seattle Grace's main entrance the next morning. He wasn't the type of person to get nervous; he was used to being confident and so sure of himself. But a part of him knew it was just because deep down, nothing ever really mattered to him. Until now.

"Hey, there," he smiled as he approached the receptionist, who giggled and grinned back. "I'm looking for Addison Montgomery's room, please?"

"She's in room forty-two twenty-eight," she answered right away. "Dr. Montgomery's always got visitors going in and out. But believe it or not, I think she's actually alone right now."

"Thank you… Lacey," he said with a wink, reading her name tag. And of course, it sent her into another fit of girlish giggles, not to mention a few nurses who had stopped to stare at this handsome, mysterious stranger.

When Mark finally found his way to Addison's room, he didn't go inside right away. He had never been one of those people who planned what they were going to say, but he wanted to get this right. After a moment, he gathered whatever courage he could find and walked inside. "Hey, Addie," he smiled, and she completely took his breath away when she looked up at him. Even like this, she was still so beautiful.

"Mark," she sighed, but the look on her face wasn't the one she had back in New York. Instead, it was the look she'd worn in the elevator when he'd asked her to meet him at Joe's six years ago. It was the look of contemplation.

"Look, I already know what you're thinking. I'm me, so I can't be serious or actually mean what I say. But just hear me out, all right?"

"Fine," she agreed. However, she was hardly expecting what he was going to say next.

"I know that when it comes to you, I've made a lot of mistakes. I've hurt you over and over, and I'm sorry. But Addison, I love you. For a long time, I tried to fight it because the thought of caring about someone that much scared me, but I've finally realized that the only thing that can ever really make me happy is loving you. You make me a better person, Addie. You said it's complicated, but the way I see it… it isn't really."

That was the first time since she'd known Mark Sloan that he'd ever said anything with complete sincerity. Maybe he had changed in the time they'd been apart. Maybe he really did mean it when he said that he loved her. And maybe… she loved him, too. But that just made what she had to say next even harder. "But it is complicated, Mark."

"If you're worried about what Derek thinks—" he started, but Addison interrupted.

"I'm not, and even if I were, he's fine with this. With us. Hypothetically."

"So, what's the problem, then?"

"The problem, Mark, is that I have cancer, and I'm undergoing major surgery tomorrow and… Even if I do get better, it's going to take a lot to get there. And there's always the chance that… I just don't want to make any plans right now."

"I'd rather have a month knowing that you were mine than a lifetime knowing that you never were," he confessed. "I want to stay in Seattle with you; I want to take care of you, Addison. We'll just take it day by day, and whatever happens… happens. I just want to be with you for as long as we have together."

He was making it sound so simple, but she knew that it wouldn't be. "If it was just me, then maybe. But I have a daughter to think about now, and a relationship with me means a relationship with her. Elle is going through so much, and I refuse to put her through more pain than she needs to go through. How do I know that you're going to stick around when things get hard?"

"I know you don't have any reason to believe me, but I will," he promised her with a smile. "It's a mistake I won't make again, all right? And Elena is an added bonus. She's just like you. How could I not want to hang around for her?"

As much as she wanted to say yes, she still wasn't completely convinced. "Mark, I don't know. I'm sorry, but I have to think of Elena first. There are some things that will break her heart that I can't control… but there are some things that I can."

"Addie, just tell me what I can do to get you to believe that I'm not leaving you again," he sighed, sitting down on the foot of the bed. "I'll do whatever you ask."

"I need to know that if something happens to me, you'll still stick around for Elle," she replied. "I need to know that you'll be there for her no matter what."

He nodded. "Okay. I can do that."

"I mean it, Sloan. She needs an adult; she needs stability. You don't get to be cool Uncle Mark who buys her things and gets her out of trouble, who shows up out of nowhere every few months and leaves just as quickly as he came."

"Can't I just be cool Uncle Mark who buys her things and gets her out of trouble, but is still a reliable source of stability?" he wondered, grinning. "I think I can do that better."

"She doesn't have ballet today. Why don't you pick her up from school and spend the afternoon getting to know her?" Addison suggested.

"All right," he agreed, although he hadn't the slightest idea how he was going to entertain a six-year-old for an entire afternoon.

…

"I'm Mark Sloan. I'm here to pick up Elena Montgomery-Shepherd," he told the school receptionist awkwardly; he could honestly say it was the first time he'd ever played dad.

"Ah, yes, Dr. Sloan. Dr. Montgomery called earlier to say that you would be here for Elena. She's in classroom two-eighteen. I'll have her called, if you'll just wait one moment." He nodded, and while they waited, she continued, "You know, I'm so glad that Elena has so many people to look after her—especially now, with her mother so ill."

"It takes a village," he replied, and smiled when he saw Elena. "Hey, Peanut."

"Oh, God. What happened?" she asked, eyes wide with panic when she saw him.

"Huh? Nothing. I'm here to pick you up from school," he explained, but the little girl was still staring at him questioningly.

"Do my mom and dad know you're here?" Elena questioned skeptically.

He assured her that they did. "Your mom's the one who wanted me to come get you. She thinks it would be a good idea for the two of us to spend the afternoon together so we can get to know one another."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, seriously. C'mon, let's go," he answered, ushering her toward the door.

"That's your car?" she gasped in disbelief as they approached the black sports car—the type of car that her mother would absolutely never let her ride in knowingly. When he said that it was, slightly amused at her reaction, she traced the hood delicately with her tiny hand. "This is beautiful. I can't believe I actually get to ride in one of these!"

"You like cars?"

"I like this car," she replied and climbed in after he'd opened the door for her. "So, where are we going, anyway?"

"Actually, I was sort of hoping you'd be able to come up with something. I have to be honest—I'm not real sure what to do with you," he confessed. "I usually don't spend that much time around kids, you know?"

But Elena smiled. "If it helps, just think of me as a really short adult," she suggested and giggled at his awkwardness. "If you're hungry, I know a great place that you might like. But I have to warn you… it's not a five-star Manhattan restaurant. Can you handle it?"

Now, much more at ease, Mark replied, "Kid, you're talking to the guy who used to have contests with your dad to see how many Sloppy Joes we could put down in five minutes. I can handle it."

"I hope that was when you were kids," she teased, although he had caught her interest. Apparently Mark and her father had been friends for some time, but he had never mentioned Mark to her before. Or at least not by name.

"Yeah, it was when we were kids. Your dad and I pretty much grew up together; my parents weren't exactly the family type, but the Shepherds—they were my family."

"You know what? I'm not really hungry anymore. Can we go for a walk in the park instead?"

For the next two hours, Mark indulged Elena with stories from his and Derek's childhood, with the little girl clinging to every word he spoke. "Oh, and I'll never forget the first time your dad introduced me to your mom. I swear, it was hate at first sight."

"Seriously? You two really hated each other at first?" Elena questioned, finding it hard to believe.

"Oh, yeah," he nodded, grinning at the memory. "I thought she was going to steal my best friend, and she thought I was an arrogant jerk. It was probably six months before we were actually civil. She came to me when she couldn't figure out what to get Derek for his birthday. We looked for two weeks for an original copy of that book he liked so much."

"The Sun Also Rises?" she wondered, thinking of the tattered book from which her father had taught her to read.

"Yeah, that's the one. I wonder if he still has it."

"He does," she told him and watched him smile. "He gave it to Leni, but she brought it with her to Seattle. When I was old enough to learn to read, he gave it to me."

"Why don't we sit down for a while?" he suggested, noticing an empty bench.

"What's the matter?" she wondered, noticing the look on his face. Personally, she'd been having a very nice afternoon and until then thought the same was true for him.

"I'm just not real sure how all this is gonna work out, Peanut. I've spent the whole afternoon reminiscing about how things used to be, and I know that no matter how hard I try, things won't be that way again. I made some mistakes that I'm not real sure how to fix."

"Everything changes, Mark. And it's okay to make mistakes; how else can you learn? If you're worried about my daddy, then you should just talk to him. Tell him you're sorry for whatever you did, and if you really mean it, he'll know," she advised.

"Maybe you're right."

"My mommy being sick has put things into perspective for him, I think," she said suddenly. "It has for everyone, really. We don't have enough time to waste it on being angry; I think he knows that now."

For the hundredth time that day, Elena amazed him with her wisdom and maturity. It completely bewildered him how a child her age could be so grown up, but she just was. With everything that she was going through and everything she must have been feeling—because she was obviously well aware of the situation—she handled herself so gracefully.

"Mark, will you do me a favor?"

"Yeah, of course. Anything."

"All of my mommy's doctors… they're all strangers. I don't know them, but I know that she's just a surgery and not a person to them. I can't be in there with her tomorrow, so will you? Will you help me look after her, Mark?" she asked.

"For the rest of my life, if that's okay with you," he promised, and Elena nodded.