Chapter Twenty-Nine: My Wish

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walking 'til you find the window
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile
But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish for you is that this life becomes all that you want it to

Rascal Flatts

…

"Make a wish and blow out the candles," Hannah urged Lydia and Sophie after a rendition of "Happy Birthday" sung by twenty preschoolers. The eighteen-year-old and her fiancé, Scott, had flown in from Chicago, and the girls fell in love with their big sister immediately. She, of course, had adored them as well.

"I wish for a pony," Sophie said loudly.

Lydia, however, looked at her and stated, "You can't tell it!"

"Fine," she huffed, closed her eyes for a moment, then blew out her candles. "Now I didn't tell it."

"Okay, why don't we cut the cake?" Izzie suggested, and the all the children eagerly agreed, gathering closely near the table.

"I'll help," Scott offered, leaving Hannah and Alex to themselves for the moment.

"Alex, the girls are so adorable. Thanks again for letting us stay here," Hannah smiled, so grateful to be welcomed into this part of her family.

"We're glad to have you, Hannah. And I'm not gonna lie, I'm really enjoying all the free time Izzie and I have had with you offering to baby-sit the girls."

"I love spending time with them so much," she assured him. "And by the time the next baby is born, Scott and I will be living here full-time. We'll be glad to baby-sit anytime."

"Did I mention how glad we are to have you?" he joked, and Hannah laughed.

Izzie and Alex were such wonderful people, and she was so thankful that fate had let her find them. "So, have you decided on names yet?"

"Izzie really likes Riley Paige for a girl, so we'll go with that… well, if it's a girl," he revealed. He and Izzie had actually been talking about names since the day he told her, and they had finally decided on that one. "I have no idea what we're gonna name the kid if he's a boy. But some testosterone around the house would be nice."

"You're hoping for a boy, then?"

But Alex shrugged. "Doesn't matter really. A boy would be nice, but I've never loved anybody like I love those little girls. Either way, it's a win-win situation."

Hannah smiled at him; in a way, he reminded her of her own father. "I've always liked the name Joshua. You could always use your name as a middle name," she suggested.

"Joshua Alexander," he repeated. "You know, I think that's perfect."

Meanwhile Meredith, who had offered to help supervise the party, was sitting down while she refereed a game of tag. "Hey, Elle. Is anything the matter?" she wondered as the little girl approached.

"Nope," she answered, taking a seat on Meredith's lap.

"Okay. How's the cake?"

"Really good. I got a piece of each. You want some? I can't eat it all," she offered.

"Maybe I'll try some of the chocolate," she decided. After all, she never had been able to resist anything that Izzie baked.

"Good?" the little girl wondered as Meredith took a bite.

"Oh, so good," she answered, her tone causing Elena to giggle.

With a quiet, content sigh, Elena leaned back and rested the back of her head on Meredith's shoulder as they both watched the younger children playing happily in the living room. So many thoughts were running through Meredith's mind just then, and none of them were pleasant. Meredith knew about Addison's cancer, and soon, Elena would know as well.

The thought of Elena in anymore pain broke Meredith's heart; she knew how devastating it would be for her to lose her mother. However, in an act that touched her heart and broke it at the same time, Addison had asked her to adopt Elena should anything happen to her. Meredith, of course, had agreed although she knew that even she could never replace Addison in Elena's life. But for the moment, the little girl was safe in Meredith's arms, completely unaware that her life was, once again, about to be upturned.

…

"Mommy, I'm back!" Elena called out from halfway up the stairs, each hurried footstep audible as she ran all the way to her mother's bedroom. She then kicked off her shoes before climbing up into the bed, finally crawling under the covers and cuddling next to her mother. "It's freezing outside."

"Come here, my little Ellesickle," Addison joked, wrapping her arms around Elena and holding her close. "You are freezing, Sweetie. Didn't you have a coat? And where is Mark?"

"I did. It's downstairs," she assured her mother. "It was just really cold. And Mark is in the living room watching The Philadelphia Story. You know, I think he might like those movies just as much as you do, Mommy. But don't tell him I said that."

"Okay," she laughed; Elena's happiness was contagious. "So, tell me all about the party. Did you have a good time?"

She nodded enthusiastically and began to give her mother every detail of her day. "Well, Lydia wanted to have a princess party—you know, pink and sparkly and all that. And Sophie wanted a Superman party because she said he's her boyfriend."

"How'd they manage to pull that off?"

"They each had their own cake, and the decorations were sort of… mixed. It was kind of funny. Izzie did a really great job with the cakes, though. She baked and decorated them herself, and they looked awesome. I brought you and Mark each some because it was so good," she said, happily chatting away. She had no idea that in only a few moments, she would be once again hit with a devastating blow.

"It sounds like a really great party, Sweetie," she smiled, running her hair through her daughter's soft dark curls as the little girl's head rested securely on her shoulder.

"Oh, and I met Izzie's other daughter, Hannah, and her fiancé, Scott. They're really nice." After a tiny pause, Elena added, "There was also a boy from my class there—Caleb. His little brother is in Lydia and Sophie's class at preschool."

Addison had a feeling that she knew where the conversation was headed. "You've never mentioned Caleb before," she remarked.

"Well… William told me that he heard from Jenna that Caleb told Cooper that he likes me," she said, then added, "I think my life just got more complicated. But I'm way too young for a boyfriend, and Daddy and Mark would probably freak out."

It took everything in her not to break down into tears. She didn't want to miss all the crushes and boyfriends and dances and everything else that Elena was going to run home and tell her all about. She wanted to be there to give advice and wipe away the tears of a broken heart. To be there when Elena finally found the love of her life. To be there for every precious moment in her little girl's life.

However, she decided to instead focus on the things she had gotten: her daughter's first steps and first word, her first smile and first "I love you." She had watched a tiny, fragile newborn grow into a beautiful, brilliant little girl. And even if she didn't get to see that little girl grow into a woman, she knew that there would be more than enough people to help her along her way. For six years, at least, she had been given the most precious gift anyone could ever hope to receive.

"Mommy, you're kinda staring off into space. Are you okay?" the little girl asked, looking up at Addison.

She took a deep breath and sat upright, moving so that she and Elena were face to face. "Baby, there's something very important that we need to talk about."

Her tone worried Elena, and the little girl grabbed her mother's hand, only to notice the ring that was now upon her finger. "He proposed!" she exclaimed, already beginning to gush about how excited she was for both of them. "I'm so glad you said yes."

It was so hard to break her daughter's heart when she was so happy. However, when she looked up and saw Mark standing in the doorway, it gave her the strength that she needed to get through this revelation. He was right; she wasn't alone in this at all. "Yes, Mark proposed, and I said yes. But… there's something else."

"What is it, Mommy?"

"Sweetie… my cancer is back," she forced herself to confess.

"What?" Elena just stared blankly back at her mother, as though she couldn't quite decide if she had heard correctly, although the fear in her expression showed that she was almost certain that she had.

"I'm so sorry, Elle," she apologized, feeling as though it was her fault that her child was going to have to go through all of this. As a mother, all she wanted was Elena's happiness and safety, but with her single remark, she had taken away both.

"No," she whispered, shaking her head in horror and disbelief, the tears starting to well up in her beautiful green eyes. "No, Mommy, it can't. Please, no, it can't be back."

Addison took Elena's face into her hands and looked her in the eye. "I want you to listen to me, Elena Amélie. Are you listening?" When Elena nodded, albeit tearfully, Addison continued. "I love you more than I ever thought I could love another person. When Leni gave you to me, I swore to her I would give you the life she dreamt of for you. And I will do everything that I can—I will fight until I don't have an ounce of strength left—to stay here with you. But… there's a chance that I may not be around as long as we'd like. I want you to understand that."

"You can't die, Mommy. I don't know what I'll do if you die. Leni is already gone, and I don't know what I'll do if I lose you, too."

"You'll be sad," she whispered, surprised that she could manage to find the words. "You'll cry and mourn for a while. But one day, you'll take a deep breath, and look at the world and realize that even though you're hurting, you can go on. You'll find strength and support in all the people who love you. With every day that passes, you'll find it a little bit easier to get through; one day, you'll even find yourself smiling. You'll chase every dream you've ever had for yourself and see them come true.

"But there are too many memories that we won't get to have together, Mommy," she pointed out tearfully. "We need more time."

"There's never enough time, Sweetheart, but that isn't our choice to make. All we can do is cherish the time we do have. In a way, you and I are lucky; some people go their whole lives without having what we've had."

"'Sometimes, you're supposed to fight, and sometimes, you're supposed to let go. Being strong means knowing the difference.' That's what Leni said, right? I want to be strong, Mommy, but I don't know which choice is right. I just know that I don't wanna let go."

"You don't have to tonight," she whispered while Elena clung to her tightly, sobbing gently onto her shoulder.

Addison knew that in her life, she had made her share of mistakes; however, Elena made up for all of them. Despite everything else, Elena was something that she had done right.

And even if she had been given the chance to do things over, knowing what she knew now, she still wouldn't have changed a thing.

…

One chapter to go, and there's a wedding… but whose? And, of course, what will happen with Addison? Hmm…