I Never Wanted to Be This Way

A/N: I do not own anyone from Fire Emblem, or anything else I shouldn't own. This story will be in Sain's point of view. The idea for this came from the fact that maybe Sain wasn't as bad as he always acted, and maybe there was more behind it. Now on with the fic.

(Personal Opinions)

"Dialogue"

People always think of me as a hopeless romantic, probably because I always hit on any girl I end up meeting. Chasing them until they agree to date me, slap me in the face, or call me very unflattering names I never wanted to be called. I never wanted to be like this, and still don't want to be like this. But now, it is a part of me, and I can't seem to get rid of it.

It all started when I was seven. My father, being the first hopeless romantic of the family, and also a believer in Extreme Chivalry, wanted to pass the legacy down to me. And how I hate him for teaching me this before he told me his very emotional story of how I came to be. He waited until after I became a knight of Caelin to tell me this.

My father, like I said before, believing in Extreme Chivalry, would go around villages trying to be the perfect knight to all women he could find who were not married. Of course, he believed that women shouldn't fight or work for themselves, which had about every woman in town giving him the cold shoulder. This is when he met my mother. Now, my father loved my mother very much, and did his best to make her look like the innocent one, but I knew better than to believe my father on this.

This is how I translated my father's very sad story. My father was 20 years old at the time, and was on one of his women hunts. Now I know it sounds weird, but it is the best explanation for it. He was slapped twice, sent 3 women into hysterics, kicked in a not so comfortable place, and was beaten by a guy who he had mistaken for a girl (How in all of Elibe he did that, I have no clue. I've never done that in my life). Walking around a bit more before he gave up for that day, he came across a young girl about 17 or 18 years old.

The girl, supposedly had long blond hair, down to her waist (seriously, I don't know how she could stand that) was very beautiful he told me, and was wearing simple blue robes. She was carrying boxes or crates for her father, who was a merchant, and my father, being the extreme chivalrist (A/N: I know it is not a word but please bear with me) he was, decided to help the pretty girl. Now it turned out that my mother was a very lazy and demanding person.

Instead of just helping her, my father ended up doing all the work, while my mother, sat on her Lazy GOOD FOR NOTHING ASS! …Sorry, I just get a little ticked at that last part, because it's the start of all the hell my poor stupid father went through. Then the father of my mother showed up, seeing a knight help his daughter, and I mean doing all the work for his daughter who should be doing some of it, decided to try and make profit out of it. He probably wanted to get rid of his lazy daughter. The merchant dragged my father into his tent.

"Would you like to marry my daughter?" the merchant asked, awfully excited about something. My father, like I said before, being a hopeless romantic replied "Yes sir, I would be greatly honored." Now I thought my father was smarter than this, and would get to know how she really was before he married her, I was completely wrong. They were married the next day.

Now you could say that the marriage started out happy, being that they both were happy for about two weeks. But still it wasn't as happy as it should have been, if my mother wasn't greedy, lazy, and didn't want to have kids. The last thing I mentioned put a crack in my father's heart, but he didn't argue, and still loved the crazy woman with all his heart, which is a ton more than she deserved, and nothing close to what he received back.

Now my father married my mother because he was a hopeless romantic, and he found someone to love. My mother had other reasons. One; she wanted to have a reputation. Two; she wanted to treated how she thought she should be treated, nothing less, but more if one could. Three; She wanted to not have to do any work at all.

She only got one of those things, and that was my father doing every little chore for her, if she asked him, he would have given his all to let her be Marquess or any other leading role in Elibe. For having a reputation, she had one all right, just, she was known as a lazy man user. She would brag to her friends about how her husband did everything for her. After she bragged for about a month, her friends started to drift away from her, and tried to give my father advice on how to leave my mother, but he didn't even listen to them, or did, but loved my mother too much to try it.

To be treated how she wanted to be treated, she didn't get that. Sure, she was treated as well as my father could treat her, but it wasn't enough for her. She had to be rich, have many servants wait on her hands and feet, live in the largest house she could find, and have as much clothes as she could. And of course, she blamed my father who wasn't rich enough to afford all those luxuries, along with the fact that she blamed him for loosing her friends too.

A few months later both of my parents were drowning their sorrows, by getting drunk. My father, for his lovely wife hating his guts, and my mother, for not having her dream life. Now when two people get drunk together, things happen, and in my mother's opinion, the worst happened. She got pregnant.

Now this was a dream come true for my father. My mother thought otherwise. "You bastard," she started. "How dare you take advantage of me when I'm drunk and then make me go through this Hell!" Specifying that pregnancy is hell, to her. And to top that off, she went and got herself drunk more often to deal with the pain of having a kid. Every time she would be hurting, she'd scream at my father telling him she hated him. Now finding out that he was having a kid mended the tiny, not very noticeable crack in his heart, but there were more to replace it. And for the mood swings, oh boy, she never got sad or sorry, no, she only went from anger to hatred and back to anger.

Now when I came in to this world, somehow I still remember the first three words she said to be. "I Hate You," she had said with a lot of venom in her voice. Now I had now clue what those three words meant at the time, and I probably don't remember how I reacted to it. Now to my name, Sain, if it wasn't for the fact that Pain wouldn't have been a very good name, she would have named me that. But she chose something very similar in spelling and sounds the same. But when I was born, she started to get some responsibility, yup, she got someone else to feed and take care of me, instead of her.

A year later, my mother finally got fed up with my father. "You worthless idiot," she said with a ton of venom and anger. "You call yourself a knight! I can't believe I married you. It's over; I'm leaving you for someone better. You can keep that disgusting creature to; I don't need anything to remind me of my stupid past." And with that she left my father, taking all his money and anything worth money, for instance, his knight crest. With my mother gone, my father's heart shattered into pieces.

Then my father vowed to train me in the chivalrous ways to avoid having a life like his. Of course, my father never did have very good judgment. I was having problems disagreeing with him, probably the brain damage from when my mother was drunk during her pregnancy, which was about a third of the time. The fact that I didn't die from that is surprising.

Now I vowed, after I heard his story and translated it to myself, that if I were to meet my mother, I will not hesitate to make her death slow and painful. And there will be no force large enough to stop me from doing it. It is only a fraction of what she deserves for putting my father through hell for her, and the life she gave me.

A/N: This Idea came from the last support conversation between Sain and Fiora where at the end of it he talked to himself about why he always says embarrassing things. That got me thinking on maybe Sain never wanted to act that way, maybe it was part of him he wanted but couldn't change. It went a little farther back than I had planned but still I think it was a good start, Please Read and Review.