I Never Wanted to Be This Way
A/N: I do not own anyone from Fire Emblem, or anything else I shouldn't own. This story will be in Sain's point of view. And yes I do have a pairing in mind for Sain, and it will not be Yaoi. I hate that kind of stuff, it's disturbing. It's basically the only pairing I was able to do so far in the game for him. So it will be Sain and Fiora in the end, but there will be other mentions of pairings
(Personal Opinions)
"Dialogue"
Ch.2
Now how I became to be the scoundrel that I am. My father with a very broken heart, vowed to teach me the ways of extreme chivalry. I was only 7 at the time I started and I didn't know any better to argue with him.
My father started to beat the chivalric ways into my character, teaching me how to be the perfect knight and the beliefs of extreme chivalry. It was almost as if it was a religion, technically it was, but it was banned a while ago, I don't know where my father got it from. I really didn't believe any of the crap he fed me, but he kept pounding it into me until it became first nature. Then he sent me to do chores for the women around the village and I acted all knight-like. The older women thought it was cute for a 7 year old to act like the old chivalrous knights. When I met girls my age, they thought I was weird and they ignored me.
If I could get all of my father's teachings out of my head, I definitely would take any chance I got. He thought being chivalrous would help me not end up like he did. He must have lost more than his heart to think that. I ended up just like him when I reached 14 years. I was literally get slapped four times a day or more, depends how long my father sent me outside. My mouth seemed to run on its own when my mind would want to say something completely different, meaning I got slapped again and again and again.
My father then enrolled me to be a knight of Caelin. I didn't object to that, probably because I thought it would be better than how my life was already turning out. I was soon moved into Caelin Army Boot Camp with very few of my possessions. I was one of many being trained and we were being split into groups of what kind of soldier we would be. There was knight, cavalier, soldier and archer. I was chosen to be a cavalier, but it was very close between that and a soldier, and I sure as hell didn't want to be a soldier, they were seriously weak. Of course, I bet my father, being a former knight of Caelin, had said something to convince them. Becoming a cavalier also boosted my chivalrous ego.
Thankfully there were no women or girls around, so I didn't have to worry about my chivalrous way acting up and I could be who I wanted to be. Except for the fact that most of the boys in training knew who I was and gave me a hard time for it. I just made them look a lot worse by showing them up in just about everything.
I showed almost everyone up; there was one who was better than me or my equal. He was a boy about my age with orange-red hair. His name was Kent, and soon both of us were good friends and we helped each other train. Our teacher, General Eagler, said we were at the top of our class. This only made us want to train harder to become the best. Kent was faster than I was and had more skill, but I made up for that with my strength and defense. I knew he would become better than me, because it was only a matter of time until my Chivalry becomes my better judgment, meaning I won't be able to control it. I just hope someone will be able to help me when that time comes.
During boot camp, I was able to keep my mind off women. That only lasted until women were recruited to be trained for the army. The first time I saw one of them, she was wearing gray training armor and she was tying her horse to a post. She was a very pretty girl, I have to say, wait…I think just about every girl is pretty, well anyway, she had purple hair, yes purple, which was about shoulder length, wearing a gray headband to keep the hair out of her face, and she was smiling, that was until I started talking to her.
Now I tried to stop it and just walk by but the personality hadn't been let out in about 5 months, and it took over. I knew girls were allowed to join the army, but my Chivalry just didn't except it. "Excuse me miss, it would seems that you are visiting the camp, would it bother you if I were to escort you around," I had said very knight-like, and hated myself for it. "Yes it would bother me," she said, slightly annoyed that I didn't pay attention to the fact she was wearing training armor and obviously there to train. "And I am here to train so I don't need an escort," The very pretty purple haired girl finished. I would have apologized and walked away if these thoughts would have some effect on my chivalry but that was for naught. "Surely you mustn't be here for the army. It is a knight's job to protect women, not for women to become the knight" I argued. "Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I'm weak" she said pretty angrily, probably one of those women who hate men who discriminate against them, mainly me. Before I could say something that was even more stupid, she continued talking, or yelling at me, doesn't make a difference, the same meaning is implied. "If you think I'm a weak little girl, than I challenge you to a jousting match to prove I'm not weak." I really wanted to say that I didn't think she was weak and that I was sorry for saying my last statement, but that never happened because I wasn't in control. I'm starting to think that I'm more of the consciousness than the real Sain, but I'm not entirely sure.
And of course there was a rule at boot camp that if you were challenged, you had to accept the challenge. Now there I was, on top of my horse facing off against the very pretty purple haired girl who I made the mistake of pissing off. I had hoped this would be a little more private than it was. Kent was there to see how much I would win by; everyone else was there to see if I would attack a girl. Mostly everyone's thoughts became reality when I wouldn't attack, and received hit after hit after hit, I didn't even try to dodge. Lucky for trainees, we trained with wooden weapons, so I was only bruised in a lot of placed.
Loosing did much to harm me in a way, and much to help me, and as always, bad news comes first. My reputation, as one of the best in our class, was considerably lowered. Kent was quite angry with me for not fighting at all and loosing against a new recruit. General Eagler lost some of his faith in me as one of the best trainees. The other Trainees mocked me constantly for loosing to a woman. The only good that came of losing was the was that I finally dawned on me that if I was fighting a woman, I would probably end up dying if I just stood there not defending myself. So that's when I was able to go against my chivalry, and never held back anymore when fighting against women, but I was a complete chivalrous knight otherwise.
Kent forced me to tell him why I lost, which I really didn't feel like telling anyone, but I was forced. He was the only one who didn't know about my chivalrous upbringing. I did tell my upbringing as a seven year old, and he showed me some sympathy, ugh damned sympathy…never helps. He tried to help me out with my problem, he only made it worse. His plan was basically what my father did in the past, women hunting. He thought that if I got rejected enough I would stop being a womanizer. Turns out it only made me want women more and soon it became a Saturday night tradition for me. Every Saturday I had at least one new black eye, a very red face, and thought I lost the ability to have kids. There was this girl that was obsessed with me, but she was insane, and enough that it scared my womanizer behavior away so I could run away (A/N: If you know Ranma ½ then think of Kodachi)
When I had lost the challenge with that girl, I said that I was mocked by the other trainees. What I meant by that is they dressed up as girls and challenged me to a fight. Now they had no clue that my sentiments had changed after that fight, but for mocking me as well, they were beaten 3 times as hard for it. My chivalrism wouldn't take that lying down. Sometimes even Kent would help me out.
After we finished boot camp, we became knights of Caelin, and that boosted my chivalrous ego, and I lost some more control over it. A few days after I was knighted, my father needed to see me. He told me his very sad story about how I was born and I haven't talked to him since. I yelled at him a lot for screwing me over as well as he screwed up his own life, and that I would probably end up like him, hopefully not. I still have never told anyone the full story, only parts, and I will never tell anyone the full story, I don't need anymore sympathy. It only makes it worse.
A/N: Yes I like doing authors notes before and after the story. Don't expect the next chapter as soon as this one came out, I was on vacation, and thanks to the support of the 3 reviewers, that inspired me to get it out faster. I will have other pairings in this but they won't be the main concern. And I'm sorry for adding a few things from Ranma, I'm just addicted to it so please don't get angry with me. Please RR