Disclaimer: I don't own Wally, or Bruce, or Terry, or……
This Ain't the Golden Years
Chapter 14
From: John Stewart
To: Bruce Wayne
Date: November 16, 2058
Subject: Revenge
Shayera told me what Wally had a certain trio of women do to you. By the way, do you have any idea what That Unmentionable Thing is? I've heard the women mention it, but they always shut up whenever I'm around.
If you're looking for a way to get Wally back, I have some things you can show his wife. The Kid doesn't know I have these (So don't tell him you got them from me!). Shayera wants to come visit you tomorrow, if that's okay. She wants to talk to Terry too, she thinks he needs some of her influence (Instead of Wally, Dick, Ollie's…). I'll bring up the items then.
John
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From: Bruce Wayne
To: John Stewart
Date: November 16, 2058
Subject: Terry and Wally
I would welcome the assistance. Tell Shayera that she has my permission to do what ever it takes to undo the damage that those hooligans have wrought. I also welcome whatever dirt that you're going to give me on Wally.
Oh, and tell her that Terry's friend Max is also badly in need of Shayera's influence.
I'll have tea ready when you get here.
Bruce
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Excerpt from the diary of Maxine Gibson:
Date: November 17, 2058
These people are crazy. Shayera Stewart tied Terry and I up yesterday and lectured us on the dangers of listening to Mr. West, Mr. Queen, and Mr. Grayson. Mr. Wayne and Mr. Stewart sat and drank tea the whole time that they were watching us. (The following language has been edited out for its obscene nature.) I think she's the craziest one of them all.
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The Justice League Daily Service Announcement
Date: November 18, 2058
Fellow Comrades:
Beware of a young red haired Girl Scout that goes by the name of Helena Szasz. She is to be considered armed and dangerous. She is known to be working with a criminal infidel that goes by the alias of the Question. Comrades, beware. They are not what they seem.
By the way, buy her cookies. They're very good.
Oh, and Superman is still an arrogant Capitalistic dictator. He and the other Imperialist elitists must be overthrown.
Have a nice day.
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The REAL Justice League Daily Service Announcement
Date: November 18, 2058
Fellow Leaguers:
The last announcement was the false announcement of pro-Communist rebels. Anyone known to be siding with this insurrectionary group will NOT be given Christmas leave.
If these antics are not stopped soon then our resident telepath will be forced to conduct mandatory scans.
Have a nice day.
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The Green Arrow Society Daily Announcement
Date: November 18, 2058
Fellow Comrades:
The elitist Imperials have declared war. We must unite against this common foe.
Let it be known that if these mandatory telepathic scans should commence, then we will confiscate and destroy every Oreo on the station and within a 100 meter radius of Administrator J'onn J'onzz.
Have a nice day.
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November 19, 2058
The Green Arrow Society has now truly revolted against the powers that be. I think Clark's ready to tear his hair out. That's what he gets for threatening them, especially since Kara's the one who's been posting the last few Service Announcements from the GAS.
Operation Get Clark Drunk is also getting ready to commence. Dick and Roy managed to talk Aquaman into giving them some Atlantean alcohol in exchange for a video tape of Clark and some of Mrs. Harper's Famous Double Fudge Brownies. Even Arthur can't resist the lure of those things, they're dangerous.
Donna also gave them three bottles of Amazonian wine. I'm still waiting to see how they get Clark to drink any of it. We tried to get the other Titans involved, but Raven only called them a couple of fools and told them not to waste her time. Then she asked for a video tape if they actually succeeded.
Cyborg is still in space, the bastard. He lost a bet to me and owes me a free pizza. We couldn't get a hold of the other Titans for this. Oh well, their loss.
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An excerpt from Roy Harper's Telephone Conversation with Dick Grayson:
Date: November 20, 2058
Dick: How're we going to get Clark to drink all of this?
Roy: Trick him?
Dick: How? He's too busy trying to deal with Ollie and the others.
Roy: Yeah, I think Clark's about had it with them.
Dick: Maybe this isn't a good time to get him drunk. We have no idea if he'll be a happy drunk or a mean drunk.
Roy:…I didn't think about that. We might end up destroying the world.
Dick:…
Roy:…
Dick: I think we need to pull in some outside assistance on this.
Roy: Who? Bruce?
Dick: No, although he might be amused if we succeed.
Roy: And don't blow up the world.
Dick: That too.
Roy: Then who?
Dick: I'm thinking!
Roy: While you do that, I'm going to email Ollie. Maybe if I tell him we're ready to make a move, the Society will calm down and let us seek revenge for them.
Dick: Clark will get suspicious.
Roy: Damn. Come to think of it though, now's probably the best time to do it. He'll be distracted.
Dick: What about Terry and Max? They're two college students, I'm sure they have some ideas.
Roy: Wait, Virgil and Richie might help.
Dick: I've got it! Let's call Lois! She'll help!
Roy: Let's do it!
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November 21, 2058
My spider sense is tingling. Bruce is up to something and I think John is helping him. I'm not as stupid as they think I am. I have sources.
I'd better be careful. Where's my faithful bodyguards when I need them? (Wally is referring to Terry, Virgil, and Richie.) Maybe I should talk one of my granddaughters into joining the Girl Scouts. That might be better for them than hanging around with the Amazons. Diana tried to brainwash them.
Oh yeah, I forgot! Donna knows what That Unmentionable Thing is! She hasn't told me yet, but she says that she actually has it on video tape. She, Terry, Max, Dick, Roy, Kara, and Barbara are coming over tomorrow so we can all watch it.
Which reminds me, I need to go buy some popcorn.