Sorry for the delayed update. I had several papers that I had to write for my classes. Updates are going to be a little slower now that the spring semester has started. I'll try to update Resurrecting the Red as soon as possible. I may end this story after January 1st, I don't know. It depends on how much time my classes will take up. I was planning to end the story in about their September, since that's when it started. I'll see if I can still do that.
On the bright side though, I do have some one shots in mind, as well as a future humor fic starring young Wally and Dick, as well as some other less than thrilled Leaguers.
Here's a possible sample of that fic:
Shouldn't you two, I don't know, go save Diana?
"Why? She'd kill us," Wally said. Dick nodded his head sagely.
"Diana's a bit on the cranky side," he pointed out. (Isn't that an understatement Dick?)
Uh, Diana could be in serious trouble you guys. Besides, this is a fairy tale. You're supposed to rescue the princess!
"Diana can take care of herself," they answered.
Some heroes you are.
"Hey!"
This Ain't the Golden Years
Chapter 18
December 2, 2058
Oh. My. God.
I'm still in shock from yesterday. Seeing Clark in the buff is something that I NEVER want to do AGAIN!
On the bright side though, it was rather hilarious. Clark was mortified after he got over his hangover yesterday. He's been hiding out in Smallville since the "Incident". I hear that Bruce sent him a blistering email about his "damn gullible Boyscout nature". (Kara managed to get a copy of it and showed it to me.) I think Clark's going to stay out of the GAS's way for a while.
The Green Arrow Society is already printing up banners to hang in case of an emergency. They now have plenty of blackmail material.
Oh and the younger Leaguers, under the leadership of Terry, have taken the initiative of collecting money to put J'onn through an Oreo Rehabilitation program. Unfortunately, J'onn seems to be the only one on Earth with a drug dependence on Oreo cookies. I wonder what they're going to do?
Oh yeah, Bruce still hasn't gotten me back yet for lingerie incident with Zatanna, Diana, and Selena in the batcave. I think he got distracted by the That Unmentionable Thing recording of Donna's (She's still in hiding from Diana.) and "The Incident" (It already has a name!) with Clark.
I know that Bastard's planning something.
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Excerpt from Bruce Wayne's telephone conversation with John Stewart:
December 2, 2058
John: Well that was eventful.
Bruce: Only Kent would have been gullible to drink them.
John: In Clark's defense, it's not like he expected to be affected by alcohol or that his own wife would be in on the joke.
Bruce: That would be reason number one that I didn't marry her. She's evil incarnate.
John: I thought Lois dumped you first.
Bruce:...
Bruce: That's what she likes everyone to think.
John: Uh huh. Anyway, did you get the stuff I sent you about Wally?
Bruce: Yes, I'm still deciding what to use against him.
John: I personally like the recording of he and Dick after they tried smoking hashish.
Bruce: I'm still trying to figure out what in God's name possessed them want to try that.
John: Well, technically it's legal everywhere in the world except in the US. They were in Paris when they did it.
Bruce: I'll kill Terry if he ever tries it.
John: Speaking of Terry...
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The Justice League Daily Service Announcement
December 3, 2058
Fellow Leaguers,
We understand your desire to help Administrator J'onn J'onzz through his Oreo addiction, however, Fear Factor is NOT an efficient model for rehabilitation. If you truly wish to be of service, we recommend contacting a therapist.
Also, as of now, ALL alcoholic beverages have been banned from the Watchtower. We are now a dry station.
We also need volunteers to decorate the Tower for the holidays.
Have a nice day.
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An excerpt from Bruce Wayne's conversation with Terry McGinnis:
December 3, 2058
Bruce: You did what to J'onn?
Terry: It's not my fault. We were trying to help him.
Bruce: So trying to lock him in a room surrounded by holographic images of Oreos is "helping"?
Terry: It didn't work, he phased through the wall. We're going to try subliminal messages next.
Bruce: (Rubs forehead.) McGinnis...
Terry: What?
Bruce: You know what. I'm also referring to when you and your...comrades put frosted covered insects inside his Oreos.
Terry: It didn't work. He actually liked the bugs. He liked the crunch.
Bruce:...
Bruce: Terry...
Terry: Uh oh.
Terry: I'm just trying to do my civic duty! J'onn needs mental help.
Bruce:...I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually agree with you.
Terry: Really?
Bruce: Don't get used to it.
Terry: Damn. I guess that means you won't let me go to the party, huh?
Bruce: (Glares.)
Terry: I guess not. So, what should I do about J'onn?
Bruce: Do you know what reverse psychology means?
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An excerpt from the Journal of Clark Kent:
December 4, 2058
God help me. I have never been so embarrassed in my life. I haven't quite worked up the nerve to set foot on the Watchtower yet. I almost wish that someone would shoot me.
How could I have been so stupid? Bruce warned me that they would try something. I'm never going to live this down.
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Date: December 5, 2058
To: J'onn J'onzz
From: The J'onn J'onzz fanclub
Contents of package: Twenty assorted packages of Oreo cookies.
Attached note:
We heard about your situation on the Justice League Watchtower and would like to express our sympathies. We too can't resist the lure of the magical Oreo cookie. Please! Eat more and defy those who would stop us!
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Author's note: Hashish is a "psychoactive drug derived from the Cannabis plant." It's popular in the Middle East and has spread to other areas as well. Hashish parlors are becoming very popular in Europe. I think there's some in the US, but I'm not sure.