This Ain't the Golden Years

Chapter 25

Location: Gotham City
Date: December 16, 2058
Specific Location: Starbucks Cafe

Terry: So what's your great idea?

Ollie: Please enlighten us.

Wally: (Happily slurping on a latte.)

Ollie: Wally…

Wally: Hold on, you can't rush genius.

Terry: (Glare)

Wally: Has anyone ever told you that you look like Bruce?

Ollie: Now that you mention it…they do look alike.

Wally: Are you guys, like, secretly related or something?

Terry: Don't be stupid. How could I be related to him?

Wally: Uh….secret organization bent on resurrecting Batman implants Bruce's DNA into…

Ollie: You've been watching too many movies.

Terry (annoyed): Would you just tell us your idea already?

Wally: You sure you're not really related?

Terry and Ollie: WALLY!

Wally: Geez, you don't have to yell.

Ollie: You have three seconds to tell us before I unleash the Black Canary.

Wally:….I have Linda. Bring it on.

Ollie: That might be fun to watch. Throw Terry's girlfriend in there and we can have a real cat fight.

Terry: Don't forget Max.

Ollie: We're getting off subject again! Wally, just spit it out!

Wally: Okay, fine. I have a great idea for a prank to pull on New Year's Eve.

Ollie: Which is?

Wally: That we do absolutely….nothing.

Terry: What? What kind of plan is that?

Ollie:…?

Ollie: I think I get it. Use their fear against them.

Terry: That sounds like something Bruce would do.

Wally: Actually, I got it from him. He used to do it to me all the time.

Ollie: We can lead some false trails; make them think we have something planned.

Terry: I can drop some hints to Bruce.

Ollie: I'll, of course, piss off Clark and the Council.

Wally: I'll drop a hint to John.

Ollie: We'll have to stay away from J'onn.

Wally: Hey, I just thought of something. We're leaving out the most crucial player here.

Ollie: Huh? Oh yeah…We have to freak Him out.

Terry: Who?

Wally: Terry, we have already introduced you to the great arts of Bruce Baiting, Stewart Baiting and Clark Baiting. Now is the time for you to face the craziest one yet.

Terry: Shayera?

Ollie: Shayera's in a class of her own.

Wally: No, no, I'm talking about the great art of Question baiting.

Terry: Is that fun?

Wally and Ollie: (grin)

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Location: Gotham City
Date: December 16, 2058
Specific Location: The Batcave

Bruce: Did you have a good time shopping?

Terry: So you know I saw Wally and Ollie, huh?

Bruce: Barbara informed me of their activities concerning a group of Jokerz. I figured it was only inevitable that you run into them.

Terry: Yeah, well…never mind.

Bruce: Never mind what?

Terry: It's nothing.

Bruce: McGinnis…

Terry: Uh oh.

Bruce: I can read you like a book.

Terry: I promised I wouldn't tell!

Bruce: Promise? What are they up to now?

Terry: (Glare)

Bruce (warning): McGinnis…

Terry: Fine. Wally's planning something big on New Year's Eve. Ollie knows, but the bastards wouldn't tell me what they were planning.

Bruce: (raises an eyebrow)

Bruce (dryly): They wouldn't tell you? I find that odd.

Terry (dryly): Well it's the truth. They were afraid you'd pull it out of me.

Bruce (suspicious): Hmmm….

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From: John Stewart
To: Bruce Wayne
Date: December 17, 2058
Subject: Wally

The Kid's up to something. Shayera tried to get it out of him, but Wally clammed up. Does Terry know anything?

John.

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From: Bruce Wayne
To: John Stewart
Date: December 17, 2058
Subject: Wally

I have been unable to find out. Terry knows they're doing something on New Year's Eve, but that's it. Apparently they're being smarter. They refused to tell McGinnis because they were afraid I'd find out.

Then again, it is also a strong possibility that Terry knows and is refusing to say. If all else fails, we can always get J'onn to scan one of them.

Bruce

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From: John Stewart
To: Bruce Wayne
Date: December 17, 2058
Subject: J'onn

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't J'onn still mad at you for messing with his Oreos?

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Location: Metropolis
Date: December 18, 2058
Specific Location: Justice League Embassy

Diana: So what are we going to do?

Clark: Damn Wally.

J'onn: Don't forget Ollie.

Dr. Fate: I suppose we shall have to be on our guards. Mr. Queen will most likely mobilize the GAS against us.

Clark: Damn Wally.

Diana: J'onn, can't you just scan one of them?

J'onn (sighs): I'm afraid that they've been staying away from here and the Tower. Also, none of Ollie's subordinates know anything either.

Dr. Fate: By the way J'onn. I'm surprised that you haven't done anything to Bruce or Wally for touching your Oreos.

J'onn:…In due time.

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Excerpt from the personal journal of Charles Victor Szasz:
Date: December 18, 2058

The troublesome trio is up to something. I am led to believe that this will be their greatest prank ever. This perhaps could be more dangerous than that left-wing Communist Green Arrow Society of theirs.

Helena tells me that I'm overreacting. I told her she's not reacting enough.

She also told me to stop telling our grandchildren that Santa Claus is an evil, corrupt Nazi who forces the elves to work as slave labor in sweat shops. I don't know what the problem is. They shouldn't look up to a fictional character with that kind of moral code.

That is, if he IS fictional. After all, with all the strange people I've met, why can't Santa Clause be real?

I need to look into all of this some more.