This Ain't the Golden Years
Chapter 32
Location:
Amanda Waller's House
Date: December 24, 2058
Rex:…
Terry: What's the matter?
Rex: I can't believe we got stuck with Waller's house.
Terry: So? What's the big deal?
Rex: You don't know anything about her, do you?
Terry: Er…
Rex: She's kind of like a female Bruce, except different.
Terry: How is she different?
Rex: There're no words to describe her. She's just Waller, kind of like Bruce is Bruce.
Terry:…? That's a stupid explanation. That doesn't tell me anything!
Rex: What's she get anyway? Coal?
Terry: No. There should be two presents in the bag.
Rex: Just don't screw up like you did at the last house.
Terry: That was your fault, not mine!
Rex: You gave them the wrong presents!
Terry: I did not!
Terry: Besides, I'm not the one who made some little kid cry.
Rex:…
Rex: Little brat. He should have been asleep.
Terry: Come on, let's just get this over with.
A little later:
Terry: Geez, this lady's got some tough security.
Rex: Don't say I didn't warn…
Amanda Waller: Who's there?
Terry and Rex: Uh oh…
Amanda: Who the hell are…?
Amanda:…….
Amanda: (Begins laughing.)
Rex: Dammit! I told you the hats were stupid!
Terry: Oh, like it was my idea to wear them!
Amanda: (Still laughing)
Terry: Look lady, this wasn't our idea!
Rex: You didn't have to agree to it, you just wanted to be on Santa's Good List so you'd get a present.
Terry: Hey! You could have walked away too!
Amanda: Does Bruce know what you're doing, Mr. McGinnis?
Terry: How do you know my name?
Rex: She's Waller, she knows everything.
Amanda: And what about your parents, Mr. Stewart?
Rex:…
Terry: He drugged them.
Rex: It was your idea! You drugged your mom too!
Amanda (amused): You two did what?
Rex and Terry: Uh…
Terry: Here's your present, bye!
Terry and Rex: (Leave rather quickly.)
Amanda:…
Amanda (smirking): Maybe I should call Bruce.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Excerpt
from Amanda Waller's Telephone Conversation with Bruce Wayne:
Date:
December 24, 2058
Bruce:…
Amanda: Doesn't this make you proud to have him for a son?
Bruce:…Are you sure he's genetically my son Waller?
Amanda: Haven't you checked yourself?
Bruce: Unfortunately, yes.
Amanda: Merry Christmas Bruce.
Amanda: (Hangs up the phone.)
Bruce:…Dammit Terry.
Bruce: Hopefully Matthew doesn't turn out the same way.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Location:
Some random house somewhere in the Midwest
Date: December
24, 2058
Matt: (Stares)
Kairo: (Stares)
Random six year old child: (Stares back with wide eyes.)
The Classic Mexican Standoff:
Matt: Uh…
Random six year old child: Are you the Grinch?
Random six year old child: (Points at Kairo)
Kairo: Who's the Grinch?
Matt: He's his cousin. He's come to steal Christmas.
Random six year child: Waah! (Random crying ensues.)
Kairo: Matt! Now he won't shut up!
Matt: Uh…just drop the presents and run before his parents wake up!
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Location
An unspecified location
Date: December 24, 2058
Santa: So, how do you think they are doing?
J'onn: About like we expected.
Santa: That bad?
J'onn:…Yes.
Santa: By the way, did you know that Terry and Matt are his sons?
J'onn: Yes, but Bruce doesn't know that. He read it in his thoughts while he was talking to Terry once.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Location:
Helena and Vic Szasz's House
Date: December 24, 2058
Kairo: We must be careful with this house.
Matt: Why?
Kairo: The Question lives here.
Matt: Isn't he married to the Huntress?
Kairo: Yes, that's why Santa gave this house a code yellow danger level.
Matt: Does it say what presents they get?
Kairo: Hmm…it says that Mr. Szasz gets a book entitled, Therapy for the Delusional Mind.
Matt: What about…
Vic: Aha! Who's there!
(Springs random trap.)
Matt and Kairo: Ah!
Helena: Vic, what's going on?
Vic: I've just caught Santa. Now you'll see that it's not just a myth…
Vic:…?
Helena (tiredly): It's just Matthew McGinnis and Kairo.
Vic: Why are you two sneaking into our house?
Matt: Santa made us.
Helena (dryly): Santa, huh?
Vic: I told you Helena, Santa's really a slavedriving pedophile who likes little chil…
Helena: VIC!
Kairo: Er…perhaps I should explain.
Helena: Perhaps you should.
Kairo: First of all, there really is a Santa Clause, and J'onn is helping him. Terry, Rex, and I tracked him to Z'onn Z'orr.
Helena: Why did Matt go?
Matt: I blackmailed Terry.
Kairo: Then we found out that Terry and Rex were on Santa's bad list and that Matt just barely made it on the Good List. So we were told that if we helped deliver presents, we would all get be on his Good List.
Helena: If this is true Kairo, then you're already on the Good List. Why are you helping them?
Kairo:….
Kairo: I didn't have a choice, they made me.
Vic: I told you Helena, Santa really exists. He…
Helena: No Vic, no! No more conspiracy theories tonight!
Vic: (Disappointed)
Matt: Uh…we'd better go.
Helena: Wait, you guys want some milk and cookies first?
Matt: Yeah!
Kairo:…But I don't like milk.
Helena (commanding): Drink!
Kairo (meekly): Yes Ma'am.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Location
Central City, Missouri
Date: December 24, 2058
Terry: Hey! We get Wally's house next!
Rex: Man, look at all the coal he gets!
……………………………………………………………………………………………….
December 24, 2058
My spider senses are tingling.