Sorry for the delayed update. I've been busier since classes started. I'm hoping to update this at least once a week and Resurrecting the Red every other week. I may update sooner if I have time, but that's the schedule I've set for myself.
I also put a link on my author page to an awesome JLU music video I found on youtube. You should check it out, it's probably the best fan video I've seen.
This Ain't the Golden Years
Chapter 33
Location
Wally and Linda West's House
Date:
December 24, 2058
Rex: You think they're asleep?
Terry: Who cares? It's just Wally.
Rex: Let me rephrase this…do you think Linda is asleep?
Terry:…We're faster than her.
Rex: That won't stop her from telling my mom, who's already going to be pissed that I drugged her.
Terry: Sucks to be you.
Rex: (Smacks Terry across the head.)
Terry: OOOWWW!
(A brief brawl ensues on the roof of the West home.)
Iris West: What the hell are you two doing?
Terry and Rex: (Freeze)
Rex: (Punches Terry again.)
Iris: (Glare.)
Iris: What's with the stupid Santa hats?
Terry: Santa's making us deliver presents for him.
Rex: He's not 'making' us. McGinnis just wants a present.
Terry: So do you! You were on the bad list too!
Iris:…
Iris: How much coal does my dad get?
Terry: More than you.
Iris: Oh..wait…WHAT? I get coal too! What does Jai get?
Rex: Let's see…two books, a new coat…
Iris: Hell no! I deserve a present too!
Rex: It says here that you're on the bad list on account of putting flea powder in one of Diana's Wonder Woman costumes.
Iris: She had it coming!
Rex (irritated): And what about the time you tied me up when I was asleep and put women's makeup all over me…?
Terry: And then took pictures and posted them all around the Watchtower.
Iris: Don't forget the sparkly pink nail polish. It brought out bright pink of your lipstick.
Rex: AND YOU WONDER WHY YOU'RE GETTING COAL?
Iris: I don't know what you're talking about. That was genius.
Terry: Yeah it was. He still smelled like perfume the next day.
Rex: (Seething.)
Terry: Are your parents asleep?
Rex: (Still seething.)
Iris: They were, but Rex probably woke them up. Jai's probably asleep though. He can sleep through anything.
Rex (muttering): Too bad you can't.
Iris (sweetly): What was that?
Rex: Nothing.
Iris: Let's go inside. I'm sure Dad will be happy with his present.
Terry: Why? He's getting coal.
Iris: You know my dad, he'll find something to do with it.
Rex: (Suddenly alarmed.)
…………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Excerpt
from Shayera Hol Stewart's Phone Conversation with Diana:
Date:
December 24, 2058
Diana: Rex drugged you?
Shayera (still slightly woozy): John's still out of it.
Diana: Why would he do that?
Shayera: I don't know, but somehow I have feeling that Terry's involved.
Diana (dryly): Yes, if all else fails, it must be Terry's fault.
Shayera: Remember when we used to say that about Wally?
Diana: We still do.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Location
Guy Gardner's House
Date:
December 24, 2058
Matt: (Bleary eyed)
Kai-ro: (Yawns)
Matt: This sucks. I want to go home.
Kai-ro: We can't. We're not done with the list yet.
Matt: So who's this old guy anyway?
Kai-ro: He was once a Green Lantern.
Matt: Really? Which one?
Kai-ro:…
Kai-ro: The one with the bad haircut.
Matt: Oh, him? I've seen pictures of him.
Kai-ro: Let's get going.
A little later:
Matt: This guy's got a Starbucks fetish, doesn't he?
Kai-ro: Fetish? How is it a fetish?
Matt: Come on, he's got…
Kai-ro: SHH!
Matt: What?
Kai-ro: (Silently points to the sleeping form of Guy Gardner on the couch.)
Matt:…
Kai-ro:…
Guy: ZZZZZzzzzzzz…
Kai-ro (whispers): Let's leave.
Matt: (Trips over a present.)
Matt: OOWWWW!
Guy: ZZz..huh…Who's there?
Matt: We come in peace!
A very confused Guy:…?
Kai-ro: Er…I'm the new Green Lantern. Santa asked us to deliver presents.
Matt: So here's yours, bye!
Matt and Kai-ro: (Beat a hasty exit.)
A very confused Guy:…
A very confused Guy:…
A very confused Guy: What the hell just happened?
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Location
Wally and Linda West's House
Date:
December 24, 2058
Wally: HAHAHAHAAAA…
Iris: I told you he'd like it.
Wally: This is awesome!
Linda: (Sighs)
Jai: Only you would like getting coal, Dad.
Wally: Are you kidding me? Between me and Iris, we have enough to torch the Watchtower!
Linda: (Sighs)
Terry: Can you imagine the look on Clark's face if he saw all of this?
Rex: He'd go ballistic.
Wally: Yeah, he would…
Wally:…
Everyone else: Uh oh.
Wally: I have a great idea!
Linda and Jai: (Double Sigh)
Wally: How much does Ollie get?
Rex: Uh…almost as much as you.
Iris: Almost?
Wally: Seriously?
Linda: (Sighs)
Terry: You could do so much damage with that.
Jai: Dad, you better not…
Wally: We're not going to destroy anything.
Iris: Well, not anything physical…
Wally: Maybe Clark's sanity…
Jai: I'm not listening to this. If Clark asks, I know nothing.
Rex: Plausible deniability is a wonderful concept, isn't it West?
Jai: So Stewart, what brand of perfume do you wear again?
Iris: It was from Victoria's Secret.
Rex: Shut up West!
Terry: Which one?
Rex: Both of them!
Wally (warning): Boys… (For once being the authorative father figure)
Linda: (Sighs)
Iris: It's okay Mom, I'll make sure they stay out of trouble.
Linda: (SIGHS)
……………………………………………………………………………………….
Location
Somewhere in Mexico…
Date:
December 24, 2058
Random child: Hola!
Matt and Kai-ro:…
Matt: Uh…
Kai-ro: Do you speak Spanish?
Random child: Como se llama usted?
Matt and Kai-ro:…
Kai-ro (Glaring at Matt): I thought Spanish was required in public schools now.
Matt: I sleep in that class.
Kai-ro (Sighs): I suppose I shall have to resort to a method that I rarely use.
Matt: What's that?
Kai-ro: (Smacks Matt across the head.)
Matt: OOWW! What was that for!
Kai-ro: Your brother wasn't here to do it, so I filled in for him.
Matt: Like Terry knows Spanish! The only Spanish he knows is slang and gang speak!
Kai-ro: I forget that your brother spent time in Juvenile hall.
Matt: How can you forget? He still acts like a delinquent.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………
Location
Wally and Linda West's House
Date:
December 24, 2058
Terry: So with all this coal, it's theoretically possible…
Wally: Wait wait…we have to talk to Ollie first. He's going to love this.
Iris: Can Kryptonians have heart attacks?
Terry: We'll find out.
Jai: I'm not involved.
Rex: Neither am I.
Linda: You four are such delinquents.
Jai: You should form a club.
Wally: You know what? That's actually a good idea!
Linda: You already have a club for delinquents. It's called the Green Arrow Society.
The Delinquents: Oh yeah.
Jai:: So when do you guys go to Ollie's house?
Rex: Well, we're supposed to have twenty houses before we go there…
Terry: But we can skip them.
Linda: (GLARES)
Terry: Or not.
Jai: So who gets Bruce's house?
Terry and Rex:…
Rex: We do.
Terry: But we're going to make the other two help.
Iris: I want to come!
Wally: So do I!
Rex: Sure, why not? There's safety in numbers.
Terry: Not from Bruce.