Disclaimer: same as always

Chapter 19

A thousand thoughts came to her mind at one time, all fighting for her attention. Some told her to shoot him then and there for daring to come after her still wearing an apprentice uniform, and some told her that she should rush forward to hold him in her arms. She decided that the anger could wait for a little while longer; it was better to entertain good emotions when her mind was still young.

"Robin!" she shouted joyfully, flying right at the figure standing over her vacant bed.

He turned just in time to feel the full impact of her run, and they both fell backwards, luckily landing on the soft mattress. He must have been still recovering from the shock of seeing her alive, for he was slow to return her embrace. But soon she held him too tightly to care.

"Star...fire!" he gasped as he turned slightly blue.

She immediatley released him. "I am so sorry, Robin, it is just that I am so excited that you are here and not dead and-"

He put a gentle finger to her lips, smiling. "I know, Starfire, I was just thinking the same thing. I'm so glad that you're alive, and even more excited that you're not mad at my stupidity," he sighed.

She bit her lip. "Well..."

A shadow crossed his handsome face. "You're..not mad, are you?"

"Please Robin, do not talk of the negatives of what has happened. Just be glad that we are both here, together and alive. Please? We can talk of anger later, but for now can we not simply be happy?"

"Star, I made a deal. I made a deal with Slade," he said, all emotion suddenly rushing out of his voice.

"Is that not obvious by your clothing? But Raven has explained everything to me and how you believed me to be dead, and I understand why you might have been distressed, so let us not talk of that."

But he wasn't buying it. "Star, answer me truthfully. Do you want to explode at me? Are you angry?"

Before she could answer, a high, shrill voice broke in, "Robin, you idiot! Just kiss and make up for crying out loud!" and a pink hex in the shape of a hand gave Robin a good thump of the head.

With a glare, he reached up to rub the back of his head, and she caught his hand. "Robin, I could never be angry with you, just confused. Why did you desert us?"

"I think that's the question on everyone's mind," Red X chuckled.

"Who else has come to intrude?" Robin growled.

"Oh, just me, Jinx, Kid Flash, and Cyborg," the black-clad figure laughed.

He paled and gripped her hand harder. She could feel his pulse quicken as he asked, "Where's Raven and Beast Boy?"

No answer. Now Starfire was concerned as well.

"Where are they?" he repeated, this time dropping her hand and attempting to jump to his feet, but he didn't succeed in getting very far.

"Robin!" she cried out despite herself as she rushed to support him.

He narrowed his eyes and repeated the question, malice dripping from every word. "Where are Raven and Beast Boy?"

"Alright, kid, you asked for it. Raven's in the ward next door, in a coma, and Beast Boy took over your study," X said.

"He took over my..." he trailed off, the full force of Red X's words hitting him like a train. Though he remained calm, she could see how nervous he was. "A coma?"

Starfire put a tentative hand on his shoulder. "Robin-"

He whirled around. "She's in a coma?"

She forced herself to nod.

Cyborg was holding the crutch. Two seconds later, he was staring wide-eyed out the door, empty-handed.

TTTTT

His eyes were focused on the screen. The words. The movie was over, but he could still see it playing past in his mind.

He hesitated, not sure if he should open the door or not. But guilt overruled pride and he opened the door, light streaming in to momentarily blind him.

He heard voices in the hallway and transformed quickly into a fly so that he could spy on the others. They were all crowded around the door...smiling. Smiling? Jinx's eyes glowed pink, but by the time he reached the doorway, they were back to normal, even twinkling in amusement.

Then he heard her voice. The voice of a friend he had thought to be dead. A voice riddled with confusion and sadness, yes, but it was still her voice. Starfire!

"I think that's the question on everyone's mind," Red X chuckled as the little green fly touched down on Kid Flash's shoulder.

"Who else has come to intrude?"

No. Way. No way. His mind wouldn't believe what his eyes told him. This couldn't be real. He had fallen asleep in that overly dark study, that's all. He'd wake up and find out that he still had reason to feel guilty and that he needed to get on with his work. No, this couldn't be a dream. His eyes weren't lying. That was Robin, wrapped-up, leg and all. He knew it wasn't a dream because he couldn't be imagining Robin's reaction to him being in the study. And his reaction to Raven's condition.

Oh, he saw the dropped shoulders and determined scowl. The Boy Wonder was worried to death about Raven. Whether that was because of guilt or something else was undecided, but the little green fly was not surprised when the crutch disappeared from Cyborg's hands in a flash.

He followed Robin into the room, transforming back into a human and locking the door behind him. He needed to talk to Robin one-on-one, and that meant no disturbances.

"Robin?" he ventured.

The Boy Wonder spun around, eyes wide. "Beast Boy?"

He nodded. "Robin, about what happened before, I'm sorry for trying to..."

But Robin was far from listening to him. His eyes remained on Raven's still form, and his breathing got shallow. "Beast Boy, how long has she been like this?"

He hesitated. "Ever since..."

Thankfully, he didn't have to finish the sentence. Robin knew. "Ever since I lost control. It's just so easy to lose control when your emotions go haywire. I think I finally understand what he was talking about, always talking about how bad emotions were in this business. I should have listened to him. Didn't he warn me when I told him about Starfire?" Lost in his thoughts, it seemed that Robin had forgotten that Beast Boy was even here.

"Who?" Beast Boy asked despite himself.

Robin returned to reality with a jolt, spinning around. "Sorry, Beast Boy. I-"

"No, it's okay. Look, dude, can I talk to you?"

"Beast Boy, I don't think it's a good time..."

"Please?"

Something inside Robin must have finally activated those elusive emotions, because he managed a small smile. "Alright."

"Robin, I'm sorry about what happened earlier. You were right, it's too easy to lose control when you let your emotions do all the thinking for you. I should have thought things through first."

"You had a right to, though," Robin sighed. "I should be apologizing."

He waited patiently, fully expecting Robin to follow through with it, then realized that the famous pride held the Boy Wonder back. So he prodded again, "Look, you know we'd accept you back on the team if you really wanted us too..."

"I don't think I can do this anymore, Beast Boy," Robin sighed.

"What are you talking about? You're Robin! You know, the obsessive leader who's always telling us that we're super heros because we owe it to the people, that we've got the power to stop more bad stuff from happening and so we have to help out! Aren't you the one who-"

"Correction: I was Robin. I'm not sure who I am anymore. Robin wouldn't have done this," he said, gesturing towards Raven.

"Um, maybe Robin in his right mind wouldn't. We'll get you some therapy and you can go on leave for a while or something," he pleaded.

Robin raised an eyebrow. "Why are you suddenly so keen on me returning?"

"Um..." Should he tell Robin about the movie? Should he tell him that he knew?

"There has to be a reason. It wasn't too long ago that you were trying to kill me, remember? I think I deserve something here."

"Um, do you remember how Red X said that I kind of, um, locked myself in your study?" Oh boy, here it comes.

But instead of exploding, Robin nodded. "I find research takes my mind off things too."

He nodded energetically, glad that he wasn't getting shouted at. "And the lighting is a comfort too. You don't feel like everyone's staring at you. You can just forget about everything else and focus on the task at hand."

Robin shook his head. "Beast Boy, you're starting to sound like me."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"It's not."

Beast Boy was taken aback. "Of course it is!"

"No, it's not. Beast Boy, don't go obsessive like I did. Just don't."

He couldn't help but notice that the Boy Wonder's eyes were on Raven again. A green monster inside of him wanted to wrench that attention away, but he controlled himself. He was supposed to be apologizing, after all. "Right. So, um, while I was in the study, I accidentally hit a few keys, and I found this file, right, and it had this movie on it..."

Robin's eyes widened. "What movie?" he asked tersely.

"Um, a good one?"

"What. Movie?" Robin asked again, venom dripping in his voice.

"Um, the one that you didn't finish?"

This time, instead of anger, Robin smiled that characteristic half-smile. "Oh, that movie. Did you like it so far?" Oh, Beast Boy could tell that the smile was faked, though. Something was nagging at the back of the Boy Wonder's mind. That something had been there this entire conversation.

"You didn't finish it."

Robin grinned. "Alright, it looks like you finally found a way to convince me to stay." But the grin faded as the Boy Wonder's eyes fell back on the still figure on the bed. "My only question is, do you think she'll wake up?"

"You sure know how to kill a mood," he sighed.

A fierce determination came into Robin's voice as he replied, "Well, I thought I lost her once. I don't want to go through that again."