CHAPTER SIX: ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR
Holly had watched and slowly felt her heart plummet as an extremely pretty girl with black hair had sat down beside Artemis and started to flirt transparently. Then her hopes had risen again as the girl left on the verge of tears and Artemis was once again alone.
But not for long. It seemed that Artemis was quite the prize. Several girls went up and presumably asked him to dance. All of them left looking hurt. Holly had to wonder what he was saying to them.
Leaving her current dancing partner in the middle of the floor, Holly walked towards Artemis' table, stoping just within earshot as a blonde girl sat down next to the Mud Boy.
'Hi.' She said in a friendly voice. 'I'm Cassie.'
Artemis maintained his cold, detached scowl. Some idiot girl was sitting next to him. She was talking to him. She would probably want to dance. It was getting quite irritating to have to get rid of these girls all the time.
'Look, I don't care who you are. Unless you have a tremendously high vocabulary, a practical idea on how to fix the hole in the ozone layer of some sort of plan on how to get me away from this dance without anyone noticing, I have absolutely no interest in anything you have to say. And before you ask, I do not want to dance, with you or with anyone. If you had enough brain power to scratch yourself and talk at the same time you wouldn't find it any fun either.'
Cassie stared at Artemis the stood up and slapped him across the face. Hard. Hard enough to leave a palm-shaped red mark. Touching his own palm to the suddenly stinging spot on his cheek, Artemis realised he felt more shocked than anything. Where was Butler? It was doubtful this girl was actually any real threat, but it was difficult to tell his dignity that. Artemis wasn't sure when the last time he'd actually been physically hit was, but he had a feeling it might have been in the Arctic. And that was Holly. Holly was a special case.
Realising that he was mouthing silently at the girl, and had been for several moments, Artemis closed his mouth and gathered his thoughts for a comeback of epic proportions. Luckily for Cassie, she chose that moment to interrupt. No doubt any comeback would have been impossible to understand.
'Whatever your problem is, I hope you get over it before you see the advantages of actually having a life,' Cassie snapped. Then she flipped her hair over her shoulder and flounced back to the dance floor, leaving Artemis with a pointless comeback on the tip of his tongue.
Practically crying with mirth at what she'd just seen, Holly moved back to the dance floor and procured a new tall partner. Or maybe it was an old one. To tell the truth, Holly couldn't really remember what any of her former partners had looked like. She thought vaguely that it was probably just because there had been so many of them. But the part of a her brain that always told the truth, whether she wanted to hear it or not, was whispering that maybe she didn't know what any of them looked like because she had been too busy trying to see Artemis to pay any attention. Maybe her heart wasn't really into dancing with strangers. Maybe dancing tonight hadn't been as fun as it normally was. Maybe she really wanted to dance with Artemis.
Mulch had come back to the table for a break and overheard Artemis' little monologue. Not to mention Cassie's reply. A trail of giggling girls followed him. Mulch sat down and helped himself to some of the untouched snacks on the table. Obviously the Melder Units didn't change the personality of a fairy. Which is both good and bad thought Artemis as crumbs sprayed all over his lap.
'That wasn't very nice, Artemis,' Mulch muttered through a mouthful of sandwiches. 'I think you hurt her feelings.'
Artemis shrugged then mumbled his reply. 'If they just left me alone, I wouldn't have to make them go away. Its their own fault'
Mulch shook his head. 'Artemis, I think you're missing the point of the dance. It's to mingle and have fun, not be antisocial and alienate everybody within twelve feet of you. You're going to get slapped a lot if you keep it up.'
Artemis stared at the handsome teenager in front of him, picturing the moving beard and tombstone teeth he knew were underneath. He wasn't used to the dwarf telling him what to do. Actually, he wasn't used to anyone telling him what to do, but it had been happening more and more often lately. He must be slipping.
Choosing to ignore Mulch, who in any case wasn't really in a position to talk with distinguishable or understandable words, Artemis actually stopped staring at the dance floor and shifted his gaze to the saltshaker on the table. This was entirely Butler's fault. If he hadn't put that newsletter on the table, Artemis would never have had to come to this ridiculous dance. This would be the last time he ever told Butler anything. From now on, Artemis vowed, the bodyguard would be as separate from his life as his mother.
This was, perhaps, the third time in his life that Artemis had allowed emotion to overtake logic, and it wasn't to be the last time that night. And if you ignore the fact that Butler was Artemis' only friend, such a thing as he was contemplating might have been possible. But nobody can cut their only friend completely out of their life. Not even Artemis Fowl.
Okay, you may have noticed I've changed the chapter a little after Toosweet4Words brought it to my attention that I was making girls look like wimps.
Once again, thanks to Master Yoda007, but also thanks to Toosweet4Words. Hopefully this made the chapter a little more interesting too.