Defying the Darkness
Chapter Four
"Boy, this Sector has sure cleaned up, hasn't it?" The Surfr commented, looking around Al's Wait & Eat and taking a bite of his meal.
"Yeah..." Bob slurped on his drink and briefly grinned. "I remember when just coming into this Sector was an adventure itself, like that time I had to get some slow food for Dot -"
"Oh, right..." Ray nodded. "Heard that story before." He halted thoughtfully. "Y'know, I tried to talk to AndrAIa earlier, and she didn't seem too keen on the idea..."
"You mean, about Matrix?" The blue sprite set down his shake.
"Yep."
"What exactly did you plan to say...?" Guardian 452 was intrigued by the Surfr's small admission, and wanted to know what exactly was going on in his head. Ray shrugged, leaning back in his seat.
"Just wanted to talk it over with her. She already thinks this ruckus with Mouse is her fault, and now all this foolishness with Matrix...y'know..." The goggled sprite drummed his finger on the table, watching the Guardian's eyes squint at him suspiciously; Bob knew that something was up and Tracer knew that if he didn't say something, his Guardian friend would. "Alright...look, if it hadn't been for Matrix all those cycles back I probably would've put the moves on AndrAIa. As it was, I literally swept her off of her feet the first time we met...saving the damsel in distress."
Again Bob maintained his silence, allowing an unsettling quiet to come between himself and Tracer, who now shifted with a slight awkwardness in his seat under the scrutiny of the Guardian's stare.
"...and with things as they are, I figure if I'm gonna' say something, the time is now." The Surfr finished his thought with halting difficulty.
"Oh," This single syllable was drenched with a certain disappointed sarcasm that Guardian 452 made no effort to disguise. "You mean when Enzo's away and AndrAIa's vulnerable? Really honourable of you, Ray." Bob was about to excuse himself when the other sprite rose and blocked his path.
"It's not like that, Mate." The silver-haired sprite had patience enough to entertain these last few words. "I just finally know what I want and I'm going after it."
"Well far be it from me to stop you." That was all Bob could find to say in response, so, with a nod he soundlessly walked past the Surfr and out of the Wait & Eat.
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"Doc...I just don't feel like..." Matrix paused, staring at the floor of Dr. Watson's office. "Like anything has changed. I mean, on some level...shouldn't I feel different?" The Renegade closed his eyes, sighing and listening to his environment, but the only sound that returned to his ears for long time was that of Dr. Watson's shoes scuffing the floor as he paced back and forth.
"Matrix," The aging doctor's words began slowly. "You have told me a great deal of things about yourself. Things you have done...said...dreamed of, and you have confessed to me some very serious crimes. You yourself told me that these things plagued you and were driving you random, but now you do not have to bear these...Secrets...alone. These things that were burdening you are not just yours alone now, and with time you may find yourself trusting enough of those around you to confide some of these things to them as well." The doctor stopped his pacing. "The very fact that you don't feel like you have changed is a change unto itself, because now you are recognizing that there was an issue."
Again, things went quiet. Matrix suspected that Watson was waiting for a reply, but the Renegade did not provide one; instead he waited for more to be said.
"We have worked on your coping skills here, and I know that you are able to react to pressure more appropriately...most of the time. Your emotions have always been entirely valid - it was the degree to which you expressed them that posed a problem." The golden sprite again waited for his patient to speak, but with no words being offered, he continued his speech. "You're still working on that, but you have come far even since I met you. I've heard of your actions in the Java Hut most recently, and there was very likely a time when you would have just deleted the two trouble-makers and gone on your merry way. Take pride having done things the way you did, even if they were a little heavy-handed. We all have lapses in judgement from time to time, but if your intentions are in earnest your actions will be understood."
"I suppose." Was all that Dr. Watson got in reply, and this came from Matrix as he stood to leave because the session bell had rung.
"Matrix," The doctor took this opportunity to look the Renegade in the eye as he spoke. "I think it' time for me to release you from the Academy. You are an entirely sane and rational being, and it's time for you to start living your life. I will be placing you in the care of your sister, Dot -"
Matrix suddenly looked like he was about two nanos from hitting the floor from sheer shock.
"Doc, I'm not ready..."
"You are." Watson insisted. "You just don't realize it yet."
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As Enzo eagerly ran off with Frisket on his heels, Dot breathed a murmur of relief. Perhaps the picnic had been a better idea than she had realized. Even Mouse seemed to have some level of relaxation and contentment to her features.
"Y'know what, Sugar?" The Hacker said, leaning back on her elbows on the checker blanket the two women now shared. "Ray can kiss my ASCII..." She flashed a smirk and laughed, to which Dot could only shake her head (in good humour, of course). "Nah, really Honey. He and I have been at each other's throats for cycles now, and I'm callin' it quits."
"And when did this epiphany hit you?" The asked, shifting from her kneeling position to a cross-legged one and poking a hand into the picnic basket to see if anything remained.
"Oh, just now." Stated Mouse, watching as the boy and his dog played in the distance. "I mean, the way I see it...no one's ever been able to bend me so far out of shape before - at least not emotionally - " She winked, grinning. "And I don't want someone around who can."
Dot simply nodded, not really having anything to add. It didn't take a genius to see that her friend was lying through her teeth, but she also knew how incredibly pointless it would be to press the issue.
"By the way," The Hacker said thoughtfully. "I think there's something wrong with Cecil. He was a little odd at the Diner earlier."
"Yes, so I've heard from a few of my patrons..." The green sprite laid fully back on the blanket, putting her hands behind her head. "I'd say he's due to be reprogrammed - it happens every now and again, usually when his firmware updates. The customer's don't like it though; they're used to him being abrasive, so I always have to downgrade and reprogram."
"Strange." Was all that Mouse gave in reply.
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Ray took a deep breath - actually a series of them - as he surfed Baud over to AndrAIa's apartment complex. He didn't have a sweet clue in Dell how he was going to approach this, and as he put his feet on the ground and put his transportation under his arm, he whispered to himself: "You can do this." and again released a heavy breath.
He thrust himself up the flight of stairs before he could talk himself out of it. After all, even if AndrAIa reciprocated his sentiments he'd still have Matrix to contend with. Swallowing his boyish apprehension, he knocked on the door, and upon hearing a voice from within, he chose to ingress.
"Hey, can I talk with you for a nano?" He asked, lingering in the doorway until the GameSprite on the sofa beckoned for him.
"Yeah, sure." She smiled, getting up to greet him. "Please, come in and have a seat."
Surveying the room, Tracer chose to sit in a large chair on the left-hand side of the room, casually draping himself over the arms of it rather than seating himself properly.
"So, what did you want to talk about?" She was in the process of bending to be seated again, when she asked. "Oh, did you want a drink or something?"
"No, thanks." He half-shook his head at the offer before going directly into business. "I've decided to break it off with Mouse."
The aqua-haired sprite had not seen this coming, and she certainly made no efforts to mask her astonishment.
"You're what?"
"Yeah, I know..." The Surfr swung his body around so that hit feet now touched the floor. "Sudden; but I can't let this drag out any longer. There's just no sense in it. I'm not what she wants...she's not what I want..." He paused to shrug. "Why prolong it?"
AndrAIa nodded, eyelids dropping ever so slightly.
"I'm sorry to hear it," She said softly.
"Don't be." He shifted again in his seat, now placing himself in the chair entirely properly. "Like I said...no sense in draggin' it out."
"So..." The female curled her legs up on the couch as she shuffled down to the end closest to him. "Why come and tell this to me?" She questioned, turning a hand in his direction.
Ray leaned forward and folded his hands in front of himself, his elbows on his knees and his chin on his knuckles.
"...because I don't know how to tell her that."
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Watson had said it was time for Matrix to go home, and Matrix - who now sat once again across from Turbo over a cup of Java - regarded the Prime's quiet office and wondered if he'd ever find himself in one like it. He'd never feel ready to go back to Mainframe, and so when Turbo had received the word that it was time to release him, he'd called the Level One Cadet into his office for one last chat.
"Do you want to give Bob and your sister the good news, or should I?"
The Renegade scoffed at the query, not even putting effort into forming a full word on the subject, but rather making a very nasal utterance before taking a sip of his cooling beverage.
"Alright. Point taken." The Prime replied, also reaching for his mug. "Look Matrix, I brought you here to let you in on something...about myself." He continued, hesitating to drink his Java and instead setting it back on the desk in front of him. "I don't know what value it will have to you, but I hope that maybe it'll give you a little more insight into your own situation."
The green sprite nodded, slowly, but not impatiently. "Go on."
Turbo leaned back in his swivel chair, letting his head tip back to stare at the ceiling tiles for a brief moment.
"I once was in a precarious situation not too unlike yours, Enzo Matrix. In fact, if anything, I had dug myself considerably deeper into the proverbial hole." The older sprite halted his speech and thoughtfully ran a hand over his chin. "...her name was Cookie actually, though she hated for anyone to ever refer to her by that name; she always felt it sounded too childish." This time the mint-coloured sprite took his mug and drank from it rather hastily. "She...she and I got into an argument one night...I had been drinking, and she had been yelling." He took another mouthful of the steaming Java into his mouth, as if drinking it gave his tongue the courage to speak. "She screamed at me that she was going to leave me. She screamed it three times while I pleaded with her not to go...to please forgive me..."
Turbo's eyes slammed shut as if he were viewing the event again in his mind. "But she wouldn't listen. She stormed away from me, and so I chased her, and when she was within range I struck her with everything I had across the back of her head - just to make her stop." The Prime had drained his mug, and he now clutched it tensely. "And she certainly did stop. I saw the sweep of her magenta hair as she fell to the ground, and when she didn't do so much as twitch, I checked her vitals, finding that I had...well..."
His purple eyes flew open and met with those across the desk from him, letting his melancholy facial expression do the rest of the explaining.
"From that second on I devoted myself to fighting for justice. The seconds became cycles, and the cycles became minutes..and eventually I found myself here - trying to make a difference to the Net."
The Renegade found himself most literally on the edge of his seat, hanging on Turbo's every word. He could barely believe his ears! He was so engrossed by this admission, even if from sheer shock alone, that he couldn't formulate a verbal reply, but could instead only listen intently.
"...I guess what I'm saying here is: If you're gonna' let your mistakes consume you, then put your struggling to good use."
The yellow-haired sprite rose abruptly and turned away from his one-man audience to stare at the blank wall behind himself. "Learn from your mistakes, Matrix. User only knows, someday you might be standing where I am now."
The younger of the two men rose - maintaining his silence - and prepared to depart.
"...Turbo?" He asked, his voice seeming so misplaced in the silence that had befallen. "What were you asking her to forgive you for?"
"I got into a fight with her brother and beat the bits out of him."
The only sound to be heard was Matrix rising and walking to the door.
The Prime's head nodded, and as he heard the sprite leave, he turned and dug his fingers into the back of his chair as he relived the moment of his greatest indiscretion. It was an agonizing mistake on his part to have stirred up those emotions again, but he had just seen so much of his younger self in Matrix that it almost seemed a greater mistake to not tell him...just as it would have been a great mistake to not keep tabs on the boy and keep him in line.
The Prime couldn't help but wonder how different his life would be now had someone done the same for him.
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