Summary: The action picks up as Carl, Sanjay, and Elmer fight in a Secondary Friend Triple Threat Match. The first one to gain a pinfall or submission wins.

Disclaimer: Read it in Chapter one, I only own the plot.

Bell rings

"We are underway in the opening contest here at the September to Dismember!" says Cosmo as Sanjay and Elmer circle Carl. Elmer lands the first shot of the contest, a right hook to the jaw. Carl staggers around to find Sanjay's fist flying towards him at high velocity. After a few more vicious punches from the two, Carl wisely rolls to the outside to catch his breath.

With Carl out of the way momentarily, Sanjay and Elmer stare down one another and start trading punches. Sanjay then goes behind Elmer and grabs him and throws him in a picture perfect German Suplex. Elmer is slow to get up as Carl rolls in behind Sanjay and clubs him on the back with a forearm. "Wow, these three are really giving it to each other." Goddard says as the melee continues. Elmer is clutching the back of his head as Carl whips Sanjay into the corner and follows him in with a devastating clothesline. Sanjay staggers as Carl climbs the ropes and hits a picture perfect moonsault on him. "What a move by Carl!" shouts Wanda as the referee kneels and counts a close 2 ½ for the contest's first near-fall.

Elmer gets to his feet and starts unloading on both Sanjay and Carl with haymakers. He then grabs the two by the hair and rams their heads together and as the two fall to the mat, Elmer poses much to the dislike of the crowd. Carl rolls outside to get another breather, but Elmer is right there to ram his head into the steel ring post. Carl is down and out as Sanjay climbs to the outside and begins to again slug it out with Elmer. "The two friends are beating the life out of one another and Carl is showing no signs of life!" Cosmo exclaims as Carl is now shown bleeding from his forehead after the shot to the ring post.

"This isn't going to be pretty! What more can these three men do to each other?!" yells Wanda as all three make their way towards the announce position. "Oh this can't be good!" called out Goddard as Sanjay and Carl nod at each other. "What do those two have planned for poor Elmer?" asked Cosmo as the two grab Elmer and set him up for some ungodly move on the ring apron. "I think we better make ourselves scarce guys!" Wanda yells as they lift Elmer up and hold him there for a few seconds.

They drop him in a double back suplex onto the announce table, which promptly shatters as the three innocent commentators scramble for their lives. A massive HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! chant erupts from the crowd as the camera shows an unconscious Elmer laying in the rubble of the announce table. "Oh my God, they KILLED him!" screamed a distraught Wanda, to which, from a far corner of the arena, a faint yell of "You Bastards!" rang out, causing the crowd to laugh. "Get some EMT's out here right now! I mean it!" called Cosmo as four blue clad emergency workers ran out from the back with a gurney to check on Elmer.

Meanwhile, the remaining two competitors started to stand toe to toe and throw devastating punches. Carl then got the upper hand with a swift kick to the midsection. With Sanjay doubled over in pain, Carl grabs him and plants him with a Double Arm DDT, gaining only a two count from the referee. As Carl argues with the referee, Sanjay is up and looking very angry. He hits an unsuspecting Carl with an impressive spin kick to the head and quickly covers him for a two count. Carl has no time to recover as Sanjay picks him up and hit's a scoop slam, then bounces off the far ropes and lands a leg drop for another two count.

Outside the ring, Elmer is on the gurney and is sporting a neck brace as a precautionary measure. "Well, Elmer is out of the match, leaving two tired, but determined men left, how much more can these two have left in the tank?" Goddard says as Sanjay whips Carl into the corner and begins to "stomp a mud hole in him and walk it dry". With Carl left laying in the center of the ring, Sanjay mounts the ropes and delivers an elbow drop. "What elevation by Sanjay on that elbow! Carl is down and possibly out! Can Sanjay capitalize on this?" Wanda said as he covered Carl for another frustrating two count. "What guts by Wheezer by kicking out! Both men are exhausted, how much longer can this go on?" Cosmo questions.

Sanjay picks up a prone Carl, throws him on his back and delivers a thunderous Samoan Drop. "Is that enough to put away Carl?" Goddard questions as Carl once again shoots his shoulder off the mat and the referee counts a frustrating two count. "Apparently not Goddard." Wanda says as Carl rolls outside and grabs a steel chair from ringside. "Does Carl want to get disqualified?" asked Cosmo as the referee sees the chair and grabs it from Carl and throws it outside. With the ref's back turned, Carl is able to sneak in a low blow that leaves Sanjay doubled over in pain. Carl hits a Twist of Fate as the referee turns back around and counts another two count.

"Even cheating, Carl can't seem to put the resilient Sanjay away!" yells Wanda. "Of course not, Sanjay's step-dad is a retired Marine, with that kind of training for most of his life, it might take half an army to put Sanjay down for the three." Goddard notes. Sanjay quickly gets to his feet and shoots Carl into the ropes and hit's a hellacious Spinebuster. He climbs the ropes and goes for a Swanton Bomb, but Carl rolls out of the way at the very last possible second, leaving Sanjay curled up in the fetal position clutching his stomach. "Most of the time, Sanjay connects with the Swanton Bomb, but this time he only crashed and burned!" yelled Wanda.

Carl staggered, but was able to get the drop on Sanjay, picking him up and slamming him down to the canvas. "These two are putting it all out there for the enjoyment of the fans here at the Dimmadome!" cried Cosmo as Carl struggled to get back to his feet. Sanjay got to his feet and started slugging it out again with Carl. Carl poked him in the eye and went for his finishing move, but Sanjay had it scouted and grabbed his foot and spun him around, going for a punch, but Carl ducked and booted him in the gut and hit his finishing move. "There it is, a variation on the Stone Cold Stunner: the Retroville Rush!" yelled Cosmo as Carl quickly covered a stunned and exhausted Sanjay. The referee this time got the three count and this match is in the books.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner of the match: Carl Wheezer!" said Chip as the crowd went nuts in appreciation over the guts and heart the three men showed. Carl weakly raised his arms in victory, then collapsed against the top rope.

"Wow what a match! These three young men gave it all for the fans! They gave of their bodies, even of their very souls here tonight! None of them are just "background clutter" anymore in my book!" yelled Wanda

"Yes it was a very exciting and enthralling match-up Wanda" Goddard noted. "It's what you would've expected from a Triple Threat guys." Cosmo added. "Now let's go backstage to special reporter Sheldon Dinkleberg who is standing by with one of the participants in tonight's Main Event Three Way Dance. Take it away Sheldon!"

Backstage

"Thanks Cosmo. I'm standing here with Tootie Flanagan, who along with Trixie Tang and Cindy Vortex will be competing for the love and affection of Timmy Turner. Tootie, tell the home audience just what you are feeling going into this historic contest?"

"Thank you Mr. Dinkleberg. Well, I'm nervous and excited about the match. At first I was worried about this Cindy girl, because at least I know what Trixie can throw at me. I had to scout Vortex for several weeks leading into tonight, and I am not concerned anymore. I can't believe that Timmy would even fall for her! She isn't that pretty to begin with and her voice is so damn annoying!

"Any concerns that if you win the match, that Timmy will reject you?"

"No, he has really matured over the years. I think he sees Trixie for what she is, and myself for what I am. This Cindy girl is of no concern to me, and I'm sure it's the same for Trixie. I say Trixie and I team up to get rid of this little girl first, then we can settle the score once and for all!" With that, Tootie walks off to prepare for the match.

"Strong words from Tootie there. Back to you guys at ringside." With that, Sheldon walks off. The camera pans over to see Mr. Turner half in the shadows growling "Dinkleberg!" then walking off to prepare for his match.

Back at Ringside

We return to ringside to find Chip back in the ring with the microphone, ready to announce the next contest. "Ladies and Gentleman, the contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match!" With that, P.O.D.'s song "Boom" hits in the arena and the next combatant enters the arena. "Introducing first: From Retroville, Texas, weighing 179 lbs, SHEEN ESTEVEZ!" Sheen walks down the aisle, no longer wearing an "Ultra Lord" t-shirt, but is shirtless with denim shorts on. He enters the ring and begins to pose ala Shawn Michaels.

Once he is done with his posing, "Let's Go" by Trick Daddy starts and his opponent makes his way out. "His opponent: Born in Atlanta, Georgia, weighing 167 lbs, CHESTER MCBADBAT!" Chester made his way down, past the many tables and chairs adorning the entrance ramp.

He slides into the ring under the bottom rope and he himself poses as girls in the front row swoon. He takes off his fur coat, showing off his muscled chest and tight denim jeans. The referee explains the rules to the two and we are about to get underway!

A/N: Well that's Chapter number 2. Again I do hope your enjoying this twisted little tale. As always, reviews are welcome, but please no flames. Flames make me angry, and you wouldn't like me angry! Chapter 3 will feature this contest, another backstage interview and the intros for the next match.