Summary: It's the first ever Classroom from Hell match! The object is simple, No count-outs, no disqualifications. You must pin your opponent or make them submit. Pinfalls and submissions count anywhere, inside or outside the cage or Cell.
Disclaimer: Chapter one contains it, if you care.
Bell rings
"The school of hard knocks in in session!" Wanda cried as the match began. The two combatants first take turns looking at their surroundings. The ring is littered with rulers, books, desks, and a chalkboard. Crocker comes out first with a short arm clothesline. Waxelplax doesn't even budge. "Well, I'm surprised that Crocker would fight outside of his weight class, but be that as it may, this should be an interesting match." Goddard called. "I don't think Crocker had a choice. The matchmakers decided that this would be the best possible match-up for him." Cosmo interjected. Waxelplax hit Crocker right between the eyes with what looked like a History book. "Yeesh, I hope for Crocker's sake that History doesn't repeat itself!" Wanda called, chuckling at her little joke, Cosmo just looked at her, somewhat confused while Goddard just shook his head. "Oh never mind." Wanda sighed.
A series or punches and kicks, and Crocker is on the offensive. "This won't be a technical masterpiece ladies and gentlemen." Goddard said. Geraldine was a little loopy, but soon took back the advantage with a stiff kick right between Crocker's legs. She then grabbed him, and hurled him into the side of the cage. "That'll leave a mark in the morning!" Cosmo yelled. With Crocker groggy, Geraldine fired up. Several lefts were landed, before she landed the big right jab. "Crocker's jaw is probably broken!" Wanda called, noting that he was gingerly holding his jaw. "Yeah, you know, for a guy who loves to run his mouth, who knew he had such a glass jaw?" Goddard asked.
Geraldine took her time with Crocker. Eventually she Irish Whipped him into a corner, turned him so that his back was facing her, lifted him to the top turnbuckle, and threw him off. "Release Belly to Back Superplex by Principal Waxelplax!" Cosmo called. Crocker grabbed the back of his head in agony. Geraldine then climbed up to the very top of the cage and delivered an elbow. "Oh my God! What hang time by Geraldine Waxelplax! She dropped that elbow ala Shawn Michaels!" Wanda cried. She went for the cover, but she pulled Crocker's shoulder off the mat before the three could be delivered. "Oh my, Principal Waxelplax was some evil intentions!" Cosmo yelled.
She dragged a still stunned Crocker out the cage door, and into the Cell. She drug his forehead all over the mesh fencing that made up the walls of the Hell in a Cell. "Oh god! Crocker's flesh has been shredded like cabbage into coleslaw on that fencing!" Cosmo yelled, sickened. The blood started to flow, and Crocker soon wore the proverbial "crimson mask". Geraldine rooted around under the ring for a weapon. Upon finding what she was looking for, she produced it for all the world to see. "Oh no! It's a 2x4 wrapped in barbed wire! I think someone has watched one too many Cactus Jack matches!" Goddard called.
With a mighty swing, she planted the barbed wire into Crocker's midsection. He doubled over, and she then struck him in the back with the razor sharp wire. "I think I'm gonna be sick!" Wanda yelled, looking a little green around the gills. Geraldine strutted around the Cell, showing the blood coated barbed wire to the crowd and the home audience. What she didn't realize is that Crocker had recovered and was looking to extract some revenge. He grabbed her from behind and grated her face on the steel. "What goes around, comes around I guess!" Goddard commented. Now her blood was flowing and she was stunned. Crocker grabbed a chair from under the ring, and cracked her right between the eyes with it.
As Geraldine lay there, Crocker began to execute his next move. He picked up the rings steps, and set up, waiting for her to get to her feet. "If he catches her with those steps, he could take her damn head off!" Wanda screamed. Upon getting to her feet, Crocker hefted the steps and threw them as hard as he could. He missed. Geraldine was able at the last second to duck, and the steps hit the wall of the Cell, and made a gigantic hole in it. Seeing this opportunity, Geraldine escaped the Cell, with Crocker hot on her heels. They brawled until they were both on top of the Spanish announce table. Crocker kneed her in the gut and set up for a piledriver. Geraldine was able to counter into a back body drop, and Crocker bounced off the table and onto the floor.
Seeing that Crocker was, for the moment, incapacitated, Geraldine grabbed the 2x4, and began to climb the Cell. "What could she possibly want to do up there?" Cosmo asked, the sickening feeling getting worse as Geraldine got to the top. Crocker, infuriated at that last counter, began to climb as well, carrying with him his trusty steel chair. The moment he got to the top, he was met with a forearm to the back of his head. She grabbed him by the collar and drug him, face first, towards the 2x4. A kick to the stomach set Crocker up. "She's looking for a power bomb on the barbed wire! If she hits this, Crocker could be paralyzed!" Wanda screamed.
She got Crocker up, but he countered by punching her. Dazed, she fell victim to a nasty Tornado DDT onto the roof of the Cell. Crocker then did The Undertaker's signature throat slit taunt, signifying that the match was nearing it's violent end. "What the hell is he thinking of doing?" Cosmo asked, now reaching for a nearby bucket…just in case. He got Geraldine to her feet, and began to walk her to the edge of the Cell. "He's gonna throw her off! That's a sixteen foot drop, he'll kill her!" Goddard yelled.
Geraldine, sensing that was exactly what he was planning, reversed him by planting a knee in his groin. She then grabbed him, and tossed him off the side! The crowd screamed in horror as Crocker landed square on the Spanish announce table, completely destroying it. "God God Almighty! He's DEAD! THAT KILLED HIM!" Wanda screamed. Cosmo was too busy throwing up to say anything, and Goddard went into shock. HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! the crowd chanted. "AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, HE IS BROKEN CLEAN IN HALF!" Wanda screamed again. Crocker somehow began to stir in the rubble of the table. He clutched his left shoulder in agony, and it was clear that the lights were on…just barely…but no one was home.
"Will someone please get out here and get that man some medical attention?!" Wanda yelled into her headset. Within seconds, the Cell began to rise, and EMTs rushed to ringside, gurney in tow. "Do they not realize that Principal Waxelplax is still on top of the Cell?" Cosmo finally asked, puke bucket full of his pre-show meal. "I think that they are just raising it somewhat, so they can get the EMTs and their equipment to Crocker." Goddard said. They got him on the gurney, and began to wheel him out of ringside and up the aisle. The Cell began to lower, and Geraldine began to climb down the side.
Up in the aisle, the camera showed an incredible sight. Crocker was somehow on his feet and pushing past the EMTs back towards the Cell. "How is he standing?" Wanda asked in shock. "I have no damn clue!" both Cosmo and Goddard said in stereo. Crocker reentered the Cell via the door, with Geraldine meeting him through the hole in the side. The additional referees that had tried to restrain Crocker were now padlocking the door of the Cell! "Now who made that ruling? Do they want him dead?!" Wanda yelled.
The two now brawled inside the Cell, Crocker's left shoulder obviously dangling at his side as he threw punches. "His shoulder has to be dislocated at the very least, if not broken entirely!" Cosmo called. Crocker rammed Geraldine's head against the steel cage door, and threw her inside. While she lay prone, he rummaged under the ring. "What in God's name is he looking for now?!" Goddard asked. They didn't wait long to find out. Crocker produced a burlap looking bag, and with it, climbed back inside the cage.
Once inside, he stomped her head a couple of times, before opening the bag, and dumping its contents onto the canvas. "What is that?" Goddard asked. "Thumbtacks!" Wanda said in disbelief. "Are you kidding me? Thumbtacks!" Cosmo yelled, that old sinking feeling rising back to the top of his throat. "That looks to be at least two thousand thumbtacks! My god!" Wanda called. Geraldine's back was to the tacks, so all Crocker had to do was clothesline her once or twice, and she would become a human pincushion!
Crocker connected on the first one, and Geraldine was wobbly. Crocker went for the second, but was caught by a hand around his throat. "Waxelplax is going for a Choke slam!" Wanda cried, hoping that this would mean the match would soon be over. But that didn't happen. Crocker countered at the last moment and turned the choke slam into a sleeper hold! He climbed onto her back to get more pressure. The referee checked to see if she was still conscious, and the third time he dropped her arm, she held it, regained her vertical base, and threw her feet out from under her!
"Oh my God! He's rolling in those tacks!" Cosmo cried. Crocker stood up, hundreds of tacks sticking out of his clothing and his flesh. This time, when Geraldine went for the choke slam, she connected and sent Crocker back into the thumbtacks. Geraldine signaled that the end was indeed here, picked Crocker up for a Tombstone, and held him there for several seconds. Finally she delivered it, and covered him for the three count!
"Here is your winner of the match: GERALDINE WAXELPLAX!" Chip announced. The crowd chanting Geraldine! over and over again.
"Mercifully, this one is over!" Cosmo yelled as Geraldine left the ring, and walked up the aisle, slapping hands with all the fans. "They gave you everything they had here tonight, they gave you of their souls just for your entertainment!" Wanda called, thankful for the fact that Crocker was able to walk (with the help of several EMTs and referees) out of the ring to many shocking cheers and chants of Crocker! "That was sickening, and I hope that this settles all the scores that those two had between them!" Goddard called. The ring was cleared, the Cell raised, and the cage was torn down and placed back under the ring.
"Well it is now time for our semi-Main Event of the evening. A First Blood match between two geniuses!" Wanda called. "Guys, I'm gonna shut down for this match, I don't think I can be impartial at all." Goddard said, before he powered down. "Let's go up to ring announcer Chip Skylark for the introductions." Cosmo said.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest…is a First Blood match!" Chip called. When he finished, the song "Walk" by Pantera began, and down strode our first participant. "Introducing first: From Retroville, Texas…weighing 161 lbs.: JIMMY NEUTRON!" Jimmy walked down in his trademark red t-shirt and jeans. He waved to his fans and ignored the boos raining down from the Dimmsdale faction. He entered the ring and posed.
Once Jimmy was done, the song changed, to the mash-up of "Numb/Encore" by Linkin Park and Jay-Z. "His opponent: Born in New Orleans, Louisiana…weighing 164 lbs.: AARON PHILLIPS JR.!" A.J. strode to the ring shirtless and wearing denim shorts. He slapped hands with the Dimmsdale fans while ignoring the Retroville faithful and their vocalizations. He entered the ring and posed while flashbulbs popped all around him.
"The participants are in the ring and we are about to get underway!" Wanda called as the two met with the referee in the middle of the ring. After shaking hands, the two retreated to neutral corners. The bell rang and we are underway!
A/N: First off, I wish everyone a Happy Holidays. Second I hope everyone is enjoying this fun little story. The next chapter will contain again the usual, except the intros. I'm putting a Video Package in at the end to hype the Main Event even more. As always: Read, Review, and Enjoy!