Chapter 9- A Theme and Fred and George

Hermione drummed her fingers on the cool marble surface of the café in Diagon Alley. She had been waiting for two hours since she arrived at the café. Draco had sent her a hastily scrawled note earlier that morning, asking her to meet with him so they could plan the Masquerade Ball together.

She glanced up and saw that the manager of the café was giving her the evil eye again.

Brrr. That guy gives me the creeps. Better buy another coffee soon or he'll kick me out.

She looked into her Styrofoam cup and pretended that it wasn't empty, taking a fake sip. Sighing, she wondered idly what could've kept Draco from meeting up with her. Just then, the chimes over the door tinkled, signaling the arrival of another customer.

Draco stepped into the shop, laden with numerous bags of varying shapes and colors.

Guess that's what he was doing while I sat here, rotting with boredom and being glared to death by that bloody manager.

"It's about time you showed up, your highness," snapped Hermione while Draco took a seat opposite her.

"Keep your head on! I'm here now, aren't I?"

"Yeah, after me waiting for around two hours while you went on a shopping spree! Do you know how many coffees I had to buy just so the manager wouldn't kick me out for hanging around here doing nothing? Do you?"

People sitting near them started staring at them.

"Quit your yakking at me already!" hissed Draco "people are starting to stare-"

"Nosy gits," muttered Hermione.

Draco glared at her. "Anyway, if you hadn't come so early, I wouldn't've seemed to be late."

"So now it's my fault you were late! Yeah right!"

"Okay, okay, so maybe I was a bit late,"

"A bit?" Hermione asked, raising her eyebrows skeptically.

"Fine, a lot late, but I was busy picking the perfect outfit for the ball. Shopping for a dress is much better than shopping for boring old robes."

Hermione sighed exasperatedly. "Fine, but if you're ever late for another one of our meetings again," she picked up a cracker from her plate and snapped it in half.

Draco gulped. "R-Right. So, have you got ant good ideas for the Masquerade Ball theme? By the way," he added, looking suddenly sly and much more Slytherin-like "have you used the gift I sent you?"

Hermione reddened. Did he have to mention The Gift in such a public place? "Well, I er, r-really, erm appreciated your g-gift," she stammered.

"Oh," said Draco, winking "that much huh?"

"Malfoy!"

"Hey! Don't blame me for wanting to keep you from having babies at such a young age!"

People in the café started staring at them again. What was the problem with these people? Was it act-as-nosy-as-Rita-Skeeter day today or something?

"Anyway," said Hermione, changing the topic "have you thought of any useful themes for the dance?" Hermione asked, wondering of they would ever get finished before they were too old to attend the Ball they were supposed to be planning.

"For your information," said Draco, looking affronted "I have thought of some really great ideas. It's sort of hard not to, with a brain the size of mine."

"More like a head the size of yours."

The people in the café were watching the two teens bicker like a couple married for too long. Watching them exchange witty and usually insulting remarks and grate on each other's nerves added at least a bit of excitement to the usually drab, boring café.

When the two had finally stopped snapping at each other, Draco went into full detail about all the ideas he had. Apparently, he had a lot of wacky and amusing ideas. One of them included turning the Great Hall into an anti-gravity chamber. According to Draco, doing this would enable them to open up bottles of Bailey's ("Just like in that Muggle commercial!") and drink the drops floating in midair.

Another theme he proposed was making the Great Hall look like a bar, heavily emphasizing hiring an extremely hot bartender.

"Look Draco," Hermione sighed exasperatedly, "we can't turn the Great Hall into a bar because most of the people who are attending the Ball aren't even of legal age to drink anything even remotely alcoholic. Besides, how the heck will we have a Masquerade Ball in a bar?"

"Oh, I know!" exclaimed Draco, after mulling Hermione's words for a while. "We could fill up the Great Hall with water, and get everyone to dress like merpeople!"

"We wouldn't be able to eat, drink, dance or breathe. The fact that we dress like merpeople doesn't grant us the ability to actually be merpeople… But," said Hermione, after thinking of Draco's idea for a bit "I suppose if we'd just tweak your idea a bit, then we would have a really great theme."

They spent the next hour planning all the details of the Ball, and by the time they were done, the thought that was in both of their heads was; "This is gonna be one hell of a great ball!"

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When they were done, Hermione checked her wristwatch and saw that it was already past five.

Wow. No wonder that bloody manager kept on glaring at us. We'd been in this café for more than six hours!

"So," said Draco, standing up to leave "where do we go now?"

"We?"

"We."

"We?"

"We."

Hermione eyed him warily. She shrugged. Oh well. It was better going somewhere with Malfoy than staying at a café where the manager hated your guts.

"Fine," said Hermione, standing up to go as well.

Draco stepped out of the heated café, and gave an involuntary shudder when he felt the bite of the freezing cold outside.

"So," he called to Hermione, who was walking beside him in a slightly raised voice so he could be heard against the wind. "where d'you want to go?"

Hermione pointed to a shop not twenty feet away from them. Draco recognized it as the shop where Lucius, in disguise, had bought the Peruvian Darkness Powder. He wondered what other Dark objects the store had to sell and what on earth Hermione, a Gryffindor, would want to have to do with a store like that.

When they got closer though, he was surprised, and slightly blinded when he saw the horribly clashing, neon colors that were used on the absurd advertisements posted on the glass windows. It didn't look like a Dark Store at all.

As soon as they stepped into the shop, two flame haired twins Apparated directly in front of them. Hermione thought that she'd have a heart attack.

"Good afternoon sir,"

"and maam!"

"Welcome to Weaseley's,"

"Wizarding Wheezes!"

"What may we do for you?" they asked simultaneously. Sometimes, Hermione thought, this finishing-the-sentence-for-your-twin thing that Fred and George had going creeped Hermione out.

"Weasley?" asked Draco, perfectly raising a blonde eyebrow. Raising eyebrows was an art that all Malfoys toned to perfection at a very early age. Hermione looked at him warningly.

Draco remembered these two during their years at Hogwarts, and particularly the incident that many students still dubbed as "The Weasley", "The Broomstick Escape", etc etc.

"Yeah," said George, crossing his arms "we are Weasleys. That's why it's called the Weaseley's Wizarding Wheezes," he said in a slow, I'm-talking-to-a-stupid-person voice.

"Got a problem with that?" asked Fred "The way you say 'Weasley' makes you sound like that sodding git, Malfoy."

Draco reddened and clenched his fists, his manicured fingernails biting into his palm. "I am Malfoy."

For a moment, the twins remained silent. Then, Fred said "Yeah right! Next, you'll be telling me that that bloke over there," he poked his thumb to where Hermione was standing "is Hermione!"

Apparently, Harry, Ron and Ginny had forgotten to tell the twins about Hermione and Malfoy's current predicament. A pregnant pause followed until Hermione decided to break it.

"Actually guys, Malfoy's correct, for once," Draco glared at her "He's a girl, and I'm, well, I'm a guy," she finished lamely.

At first, Fred and George's faces were stupidly blank, then confused, and all of a sudden, realization hit them like an anvil falling from the sky.

"I get it-"

"-Malfoy's gay-"

"-and Hermione's a lesbian-"

"-and you both had sex changes!" they finished triumphantly.

Another pause followed, while Fred and George stood with identical goofy grins

on their faces.

"What the hell!" exploded Draco, looking thoroughly disgusted.

"That's gross!" exclaimed Hermione, her face screwed up.

"That's alright," said George soothingly, patting Draco's shoulder. "We all know that denial is always a part of being a bisexual-"

"-but we assure you," said Fred, doing that freaky twin thing again "people will eventually accept you for who you are-"

"and won't think of you as abnormal freaks that should be shunned from the community."

"But we really aren't-" began Hermione.

"And," said Fred "I'm sure that other bisexuals out there wouldn't mind being in a relationship with you."

"That's not what I-" said Draco.

"Why?" asked George, "do people treat you differently now?"

"That isn't what's-" said Hermione

"Do they bully you?"

"Shun you?"

"Spit on you?"

"Push you?"

"Etc. etc?"

"I'm trying to tell you that-" said Hermione.

"Don't worry," said Fred gallantly. "we'll make a new product that will eventually open people's eyes."

And with that, Fred and George shooed Draco and Hermione out, bolted the door, and closed the shop.

Outside, Hermione and Draco stood in the snow, very, very confused. If they had listened a bit harder, they would have heard the twins' evil cackling inside the now closed store.