Naming the Forsaken

Chapter 5: The Second is for what is

He heard the musings in his mind almost as if the voice didn't know he was listening in. Maybe he wasn't maybe they were just his own musing being played back to him. Either way it was very different from the voice.

So you were a young hopeful; full of power and possibilities, but gullible enough to allow a binding and a tapping of that potential by a shrewd shrew. You are the unrealised master, the thwarted exert, the curbed designer, the landlocked explorer. No wonder you are frustrated. You are still angry with yourself. But let's see just there must be more than this to have brought you to the Pit of Doom.

Then the voice was back with all its power and pain.

THE SECOND IS FOR WHAT IS

WHY ARE YOU HERE?

Eval Ramman raised his head. He was standing in the library, on the top floor of the Institute of Exalted Deeds in M'Jinn. He recognised it well. It had published many of his works including his epic work on the Cod'ra civilisation. Why was he here? Oh yes now he remembered. He was going to check on the organising of his works in the left wing. Hopefully this new reorganised part of the library would be named after him for his outstanding contributions. He had worked for years it should be his!

He summoned up a smile as he caught sight of this floors main librarian. Like all organisations and jobs in this Age of Wonder the libraries were fantastically organised and those who worked in them wanted little but to serve. All they wished was to help: give aid to others in discovery and to discover their own happiness in the giving. He liked them for the most part, especially the women. There was something about the educated woman.

"Testian Val Sanis," he greeted the approaching librarian warmly. He was a good man, an Aes Sedi able to wield the one power as Eval could himself, though Eval Ramman was the stronger. Still he did not have the honorary third name as this man had. Testian had given his life to the Aes Sedai and when he had retired from active service in the Hall of Servants he had asked to continue to serve as a librarian for the search of knowledge was his great love second only to assisting others in its pursuit.

Yet as he got closer to the librarian he saw that he was not smiling. "Greetings Eval" he said his voice low and quiet. He sounded old, which he was almost 639 years old, but usually he did not sound it. He had also not used Eval Ramman's full name though he knew Eval insisted on it. That worried him.

"What is wrong?" he asked before the old man could tell him.

"Sari An Hierathan is here to see you from the Hall of Servants. She is not pleased."

Blasted woman! What could she want now? Hadn't she taken enough from him already? Sweeping past Testian Val Sanis with a perfunctory nod he moved to the adjoining antechamber. Sure enough as he opened the door there she stood, looking at him, as if thunderclouds were gathering behind her eyes. No sooner was the door swinging shut than she spoke.

"Eval you have done it again!" her voice lashed out like a smack in the face. She had been a friend to him once even a teacher. Now she was just an aggravating, if still attractive, annoyance. A powerful annoyance he admitted grudgingly and silently. She wore the mark of the Hall of the Servants. Nine rods crossed behind the symbol of the Aes Sedai. He could feel her building for something. He tried to speak but she must have known it and she took the initiative cutting him off.

"You deliberately struck Gannor Morth with the power. Don't deny it I felt your pleasure!"

"He was drunk, and insulting to boot. Someone needed to!" Already he felt like shouting. He didn't need to his emotions were raw and on display for her.

"You are this close" she made a pinching movement with her finger and thumb leaving barely an inch between the two digits. "To being bound from doing violence. You don't even act ashamed!"

"Whatever you may think; I, like all historians, only am interested in the truth. Not like you politicians."

She crooked her head at this last word trying to remember how it was used historically no doubt. She had long since abandoned any true study for so called service but she knew him and she knew how he worked.

"We are servants not politicians!" she countered finally.

"You hold the true power, it is enough! Tying strings to those who are useful and discarding them when you are through. You bonded me when I had little notion of the closeness that would bring. You built up your own legend and reputation off my ideas! Servants? Friends? You are power seekers just like me. No better, no worse!"

"No we are not! I presented all our findings as ours. You cannot ask for fairer than that."

He had her on the back foot and though he knew she would not admit it he could not resist pushing for an admission. "It was our work and you presented it as a team of Aes Sedai led by you. When you servants do that it is always the team leader they honour and so you got your new name and I remember naivly believing you as you promised you would help me to mine. In my own time you said. Ha!You are only a politician like all those servants. You have all the power and you keep it that way."

"No" she began "the Common Council…"

"…has not gone against the Hall in centuries. Nor will it!"

"You will not speak this way to me Eval!" she shot back her white dress clung to her frame and her hair suddenly picked up in volume. He knew a trick of the power when he saw one. He felt her weaving the web.

"I am not in awe of you. I can feel you in my skin. You are weak and do not deserve the acclaim you have. It should be mine not yours! But you took advantage of me when you bonded yourself with me as a silly youth. Well no more!"

"Do not speak like a fool when you are so obviously not one! Your anger and lusts have cost you the respect of the people. Not I. For a man who prides himself with his knowledge of history you have taken little notice of its lessons! They are not enough this pride and anger. Your lusts for simple and physical, here and now is not enough!"

"Shut up! If your people come for me I will fight them and you do not want that. I am strong and I have friends. You know I will never disrupt too much if you leave me but fight and I will bite. Plus it will reflect on your own reputation and you want that kept spotless don't you!"

"Little Eval" she began her voice softening trying to calm him. She also gave a little push with Saidar and he felt it.

"Never try your tricks on me!" he shouted and then he had struck out at her sending her reeling backwards. He must have hit her hard he felt the pain through the bond. Her face glowed red from the blow and he almost regretted it, until she spoke.

"That is it Eval Ramman, you will never be honoured. I will bury your name in the Hall and if I can I will see you bound against violence. You are a fool and a traitor!"

"You cannot!" he flung back. "Leave now or I will bury you! You have betrayed me and I become angry with you! You are protected by the Hall but one day the Hall of Servants will become irrelevant and you will come into my power. That day will be enough. I will be free of you and my revenge will be sweet!"

She shook her head; her own anger more or less passed even as his was rising. "That is all you are here for isn't it? Your own glory and immortality and to make those who disagree with you suffer? To have revenge is no freedom. The bond is not slavery. It is your change to be more. Anger and glory is that all there is to you?"

"What else is there?"

She had left, which was well for he had been getting closer and closer to just killing his old teacher and ending their little dance.