Minas Tirith, September of 1436
Merry looked out over the room and almost wished he could vanish. He had followed Aragorn to the finer dining hall expecting to have a calm supper together with the few people he had gotten to know over the past weeks, and instead found a large crowd waiting to welcome him back from the dead. So many people that he had known or who had known of him a long time ago. He had not seen this many people in one place for ages and the sight scared him a little. He wondered who he could have been to all these people to make them appear for this party, or if perhaps they only showed up because they liked parties. Either way he felt awkward being the centre of the attention this way.
Aragorn stood behind him with a hand on his shoulder, and with a raised hand demanded silence. Almost instantly the crowd quieted down and all eyes turned towards the king and the Hobbit. Merry resisted the urge to turn and run and began to look through the crowds to find at least one familiar face.
"My friends and fellow Gondorians" Aragorn began. "One decade ago a Perian was lost, a good friend to these lands and a faithful member of the Fellowship of the Ring. We all presumed him dead, and we grieved that presumption. But if there is one thing the people of Gondor have learned, it is that miracles do happen. And tonight one such miracle is here with us. Meriadoc son of Saradoc, better known here as Holdwine of Rohan or one of the Ernil i Periannath. Not dead, but alive and well. Where he has been for these past years remains a mystery, but tonight all that matters is that he is here with us. Hail the returning Perian."
"Hail!" the crowd replied.
Aragorn gently led Merry down towards the table where Merry's closest friends and the highest citizens of Gondor would be dining. The people who would be sitting at that table were standing there waiting for them, creating a tunnel they would have to walk through. A strike of excitement woke inside of Merry; suddenly it felt wonderful that so many people were glad that he was there. He started to wonder who they all were, he had seen about half of them before and the rest were all humans who looked important. He was flattered that they had all come to welcome him and a big smile appeared on his face.
Aragorn stopped when they reached the first two people waiting to sit down at the table together with them. Merry recognised the prince Eldarion whom he had seen out in the gardens with Pippin earlier in the day. Standing opposite him was a fair woman with pointed ears, whose face was ageless and whose smile was noble.
"Queen Undómiel and Prince Eldarion" Aragorn whispered in Merry's ear.
Merry took a bow to them, which they both returned, making Merry blush. He would never have thought a queen and a crown prince would be bowing to him.
"Welcome back, Ernil i Periannath" the queen said with a soft voice.
"Pleasure to make your acquaintance" the prince said.
"The pleasure is mine" Merry said and blushed even harder.
Aragorn led him past the pair and stopped before a human pair who both bowed to Merry as he bowed to them.
"Éomer, king of Rohan" Aragorn whispered. "And Lothiriel, queen of Rohan".
"Milord and lady" Merry said and bowed once more.
"I know your memories have left you, Lord Holdwine" Éomer said. "You once swore allegiance to Rohan and its king. I release you from that vow until your memories have returned to you."
"Then I wish to swear allegiance to you anew" Merry said, without really knowing where it came from. "I would be proud to be of service to Éomer King."
Aragorn led him on to the next pair. A quick look over his shoulder told Merry that those they had passed were now following them towards the table. Then an even wider smile than before appeared on his face as he saw who Aragorn had stopped by next. Éowyn smiled back at him and bowed her head together with her husband. Merry had not met Faramir earlier and he barely saw him now. He was so happy that Éowyn was there that he could think of little else.
"Lord Faramir, steward of Gondor and prince of Ithilien" Aragorn whispered in his ear. "And you know Lady Éowyn."
"For eleven years we have waited" Faramir said. "Perhaps now you will return to Ithilien again. I am sorry for all the lost years."
"Milord" Merry mumbled and bowed, though his eyes were secretly on Éowyn.
Éowyn didn't bother with formality. With tears of happiness running down her cheeks she put her arms around Merry and drew him close. Those closest to them laughed, remembering how he had done the same with Éowyn after the War and shocked everyone for the lack of decorum.
Aragorn led him on down to another pair, who he identified as Imrahil and Prince Elfwine of Rohan. They both welcomed Merry back and he thanked them. Next to Elfwine stood a boy about the same age, Elboron, the son of Faramir and Éowyn. The last pair did not need any introductions by Aragorn, Merry recognized Legolas and Gimli well by now, but bows and greetings were still exchanged before the party could sit down to begin their meal. All around them there were people sitting down to dine at tables, and Merry was sure that no grander supper had ever been served for a Hobbit before.
He glanced around him at the table he was sitting. To his left sat Aragorn and to his right Legolas, and opposite him he had Faramir, Éowyn and Éomer. It was a grand company by all standards. A servant came up to the table and placed a plate in front of him of something Merry didn't recognize but which looked delicious. A side glance at Aragorn told him the king had begun to eat and so he dove in on his own platter, feeling like he hadn't eaten in months. The food at the Houses of Healing were served with the purpose of giving the patients all the nutrition they needed, but the tastes were far from thrilling.
Éowyn didn't mind her food. She glanced over at the table and counted the heads, noticing that they were only thirteen and thus one short. She leaned closer to her husband and dropped her voice to a whisper.
"Lord Peregrin, where is he?"
"He will not be joining us" Faramir said, occupied with his food.
Éowyn looked at him with disbelief.
"You must be joking. Why is he not here?"
"He asked me to be excused. Twenty years of service and I have not once known him to ask to be excused from duty. He said he wouldn't be able to attend and I allowed him the night's leave."
"This is not just a formal supper where he should serve you" Éowyn pointed out. "This is Merry's welcome feast and he is supposed to be dining with us at this table!"
"All the more reason to take his request seriously" Faramir said. "Have you ever known a Perian to pass out on the chance to dine like this? He said he was feeling ill and I sent one of the medics to have a look at him. It is regrettable that he isn't present, but things are the way they are. And Merry does not seem to have noticed yet, so don't you go bring it to his attention."
"It just doesn't seem fitting for him not to be here" Éowyn insisted.
"Are you questioning my judgment?" Faramir asked in a tone which Éowyn knew he never used lightly.
"Of course not" she said, backing down and trying to focus on her food. But she glanced at Merry across the table and felt it sad that this was his great night and his best friend was not there to share it.
XX
XX
Merry felt his head spinning and grabbed a hold of the doorknob to make sure he wouldn't start swaying. He had had a few glasses of wine to drink with dinner and it seemed like he was not as used to alcohol now as they had all assured him he had once been. He had been walked back to his new chambers by Legolas and Gimli and he was glad it was those two and not someone else; at least he believed this pair would not laugh at him if he appeared too intoxicated.
"It was a lovely evening" Legolas said. "But we must get you into bed. No more alcohol for you in a while."
"Take tomorrow to rest" Gimli said. "Your head might need it."
"I don't think this is usual for me" Merry said apologetically. "You're right; I should get into bed right away."
Gimli pulled him close for a hug and gave him a pat on the back.
"We're so proud of you, laddie! You did well tonight! Like you always do."
"Good night" Legolas said.
Merry bid them both goodnight and then walked inside his new chambers. The room was pitch black, he blinked to help his eyes adjust but the alcohol appeared to be making the process slower. With a shrug to his shoulder he went over to the bed he barely was able to make out in the darkness and began to undress.
A sudden deep sigh made him jump back. Then as he paused to listen he realised that he was hearing someone else sleeping, someone who was either supposed to share this room or who had gotten too intoxicated and gone into the wrong room by mistake. As his eyes grew accustomed to the lack of light he began to see more things in the room and was able to make out a second bed where someone was crawled up in a foetal position, fast asleep. He tiptoed over to the bed and leaned over to see who it was. As he had guessed it was Pippin, curled up under the covers. Even in the scarce light Merry could see that his eyes appeared swollen, as if he had been crying.
Merry backed away from Pippin and went back to his own bed. The joy he had felt all night went away and a much sadder feeling came over him. He knew he had not had the chance to speak with Pippin during the evening, in fact he had not even seen him, and he wondered what had happened to make Pippin retreat early and apparently with such sadness.
He finished undressing and crawled into his own bed. When he did, he noticed that there was no pillow. He glanced over at Pippin and saw that he had one, but Merry's was gone. It didn't matter to him anyway. He didn't mind sleeping without a pillow. Though right now he wished he was sleeping alone and not sharing his chambers with somebody else. Especially Pippin. He closed his eyes and tried to go to sleep, but felt tears starting to fall down his own cheeks.
XX
XX
He woke up the next morning with a headache, a sick stomach and feeling like his mouth had been completely dried out. He squinted in the daylight that filled the room and realised why Legolas had told him to rest this day. If this was how you felt the day after consuming a lot of alcohol then he would drink nothing but water from now on. At least for the rest of the week. Or unless someone really wanted him to taste the wine.
He sat up and rubbed his aching temples, hoping that it was only the effects of the alcohol that made it hurt. He then cast a glance over at Pippin's bed and found the other Hobbit fully dressed in one of his ceremonial outfits, sitting on the bed with his back leaned against the wall and a pillow in his arms.
"Good morning" Merry mumbled, the only thing he could think of to say.
"Stay in bed" Pippin said. "You're hung over from last night."
"Yes I think so too" Merry complained and rubbed his temples harder. "Though it could just be the load of all the names I had to try and learn last night. Who would have thought I knew so many people with such long names?"
"I must be going, I have to report for duty in fifteen minutes" Pippin said. "But I have something for you before I go. It might help you remember."
Pippin got up and walked over to Merry. He handed him the pillow he had been holding in his arms, the one he had taken from Merry's bed the night before.
"It's a pillow" Merry stated. "I was wondering why I didn't have one last night."
"It's not just a pillow" Pippin said. "It's your pillow. You preferred to sleep only on that pillow and would drag it with you when we travelled here. You claimed it fit your head better than any other pillow could. I made sure it was saved when you disappeared; now that you're back it once again belongs to you. Perhaps it can help you remember something."
Merry nodded, not wanting to make Pippin disappointed. But it was just a pillow, and an old one at that. He made up his mind to ask for a new and better pillow as soon as his headache went away.
XX
XX
"Are you feeling better today, Master Peregrin?" Faramir asked and waved to a servant to bring Pippin some breakfast. "Come, sit. You look like you're in better need of a meal than I am of having you serve me one."
Pippin sat down and thanked his lord. His stomach was growling so loud he could barely hear his own thoughts, and the food all smelled wonderfully.
"My apologies for not being able to attend last night" he said and grabbed a spoon to attack his eggs with.
"Do not apologise" Faramir said. "I just hope you are feeling better today."
"I am" Pippin said.
Éowyn looked at him from across the table. He did seem well enough now. She wondered what might have been the matter the day before that would have kept him from attending the grand supper.
"Master Peregrin will you practice my fencing with me today?" Elboron asked.
"Not today Elboron" Faramir said. "Peregrin will be with me today."
Pippin silently thanked Faramir for getting him out of fencing practice. He had a strong feeling Faramir knew how much he disliked it and if he had been feeling under the weather the day before he would certainly not be up for it.
"How is Merry this morning?" Éowyn asked.
"Feeling the consequences of the previous night" Pippin said. "How much wine and ale did he have to drink?"
"As much as he normally would have" Éowyn said.
"He must not have had a lot of alcohol to drink while he was away" Pippin said. "I rarely saw him like this earlier."
"Finish your breakfast and then come meet me in my chambers" Faramir said and rose from the tables. "There are some matters that I wish to discuss with you this morning Master Peregrin."
"I will be in shortly" Pippin assured him. When Faramir had left he turned to Éowyn. "For how long will you be staying?"
"Faramir has to be back by the end of the week" Éowyn said. "I however intend to stay for as long as Merry needs me."
Pippin bit his lip and looked down at his breakfast. He wondered for how long that would be. Surely it would be for some time, for how would they expect Merry to do without the one person he could remember?
XX
XX
"Sit down, Master Peregrin" Faramir said.
Pippin obediently sat down and brushed a few crumbs off his sleeve. He was glad to be done with breakfast; hopefully getting started with his day would help keep his mind off everything else that was going on.
"As long as I am here you will be serving me, but you know that already" Faramir said. "Though I have to wonder, given all that is happening, if you would not be more comfortable getting to be free and not be of any service. It feels wrong to force an old friend to serve you when his life has been turned on its head."
"I don't mind" Pippin said. "In fact I welcome it. There are too many things to think about and working keeps those thoughts at bay."
"Anything I need know about?" Faramir asked. "Will it affect your work?"
"No" Pippin said.
"I get the feeling there is something you're not telling me" Faramir said. "It may not be my business to know what it is, but since I have given you the option not to work I don't want anything getting in the way of your service. I think that is only fair to ask."
"There is something bothering me" Pippin said after much hesitation. "Though can I speak to you as a friend and not as an esquire?"
"Certainly" Faramir said.
"I was not ill last night."
"No?" Faramir said after a pause.
"No. I'm sorry that I lied to you, I just didn't see any other way. All I knew was I wouldn't be able to attend that party, it was too difficult for me."
"Difficult how? I was there when Master Meriadoc was lost; it's been my belief that since that day you have been praying he would return."
"It turns out one should be careful what they wish for" Pippin said unhappily. "Not that I'm sorry he is alive, it's just that things changed irreversibly when he came back. And it ruined something I have believed in all my life."
"I understand things are different" Faramir said with a nod. "He cannot remember anything, that must be hard to get used to."
"I know it's bad of me to be upset and act this way when he is alive and that is all that should matter, but…"
"But what?"
"I don't know if you would understand. It's complicated. It involves our past."
"Why don't you try me?"
Pippin shook his head. He would never be able to make Faramir understand. There was nothing he could say to make anyone understand.
"I'm sorry" he said. "I shouldn't have said anything. Forget it. I am probably just tired and confused and feeling lost since I don't know how to relate to him when he doesn't remember who I am."
"That will come in time" Faramir assured him. "There must be a reason why he doesn't remember you. We don't know what happened to him while he was gone, the answer might lie there and if it does we may never know. He remembers Éowyn; if he remembers her that means he hasn't forgotten everything completely. Then he should be able to remember everything again. Just wait and see."