Minas Tirith, December of 1436

Chilly winds blew through the streets of Minas Tirith. It was cold enough for snow to fall but none had come so far this year. But it was winter nonetheless and the days were shorter and the skies duller than during the warm summer months. The people of Minas Tirith bundled up with warm clothes when they were forced to stick their noses out the door. Most of the time they kept indoors, only leaving their homes to run their businesses or buy whatever things they needed.

At the citadel most of the activity for the soldiers took place indoors, and no guard shift lasted for longer than four hours instead of the usual seven. The soldiers spent the winter training for combat, sharpening their swords and mending their uniforms.

Gimli had returned to his home by the Glittering Caves and was not expected to be back for months. Legolas was heading back to Ithilien by the end of the week, with the White Lady in his company as she was on one of her visits to Minas Tirith. The last days before his departure he spent inside, far from the cold winds and grey skies. Only the Hobbits didn't seem bothered by the cold weather and would happily stick their noses outside the door, accustomed to colder winters and longing for some exercise.

Pippin had taken up the habit of going for a long ride each day after second breakfast and although he often came back with bright red cheeks and frost on the curls on his feet he always had a big smile on his face and claimed that the rides were worth it, even though it usually took him half an hour by an open fire and a large mug of hot tea to make his teeth stop shattering.

Merry on his part preferred taking long walks around the streets of Minas Tirith, enjoying the fresh air but preferring the shelter from the wind that the buildings around him offered. Plus the city had the added perk of having lots of stores and inns to visit where he could buy himself a loaf of freshly baked bread or a half pint of ale. His old sense of alcohol was beginning to return to him and he always stopped by at some inn on the way. The people of Minas Tirith had taken up guessing which inn he would choose and some even gambled to earn some money off the simple entertainment.

For the past week Éowyn had been visiting, and Merry had not gone out on his walks when he could be indoors with her instead. Though one morning she suggested that they would go for a walk together and at first it had seemed like a good idea to Merry but once they got out on the streets and he could see the looks they were given he was no longer so sure.

"Don't mind them" Éowyn said cheerfully. "They're not used to seeing a lady walking down the streets when she could be getting her exercise elsewhere. It's me they're looking at, not you."

Merry thought she might be right but he still didn't quite approve of the attention. They walked down one of the main streets until they reached the fifth level, then they turned and followed another main street back up to the seventh.

"I'm so happy that you're here" Merry said through a lowered voice, hoping nobody would be trying to listen in on their conversation. "It's so easy when I'm with you. I don't feel like I have to say anything, or do anything…"

"That will come in time with your other friends as well."

"Did I tell you I remember once when you and I went out riding, and you fell from the horse and hurt your wrist? I had to take the reins at first, but the horse wouldn't let me, so you ended up having to hold the reins too while I pulled them."

"I remember that" Éowyn said. "I got a sprain in my wrist and had to stay indoors for weeks. My brother came to visit and he laughed at me for having fallen off a horse."

Merry laughed. He had forgotten that part. All he had remembered was him and Éowyn out on the open plains, and how he had tried to control the horse but with little luck. He remembered how angry he had been with the horse and how little the horse had cared about his anger.

"We are almost by the gardens at the Houses of Healing" Éowyn noted. "Let's walk through there and get away from all of these eyes."

"I'd rather not, to be honest" Merry said. "There's something about the gardens, I don't feel comfortable there."

"As you wish, we'll go back through the courtyard."

As they walked across the courtyard Merry stuck his hand in hers to keep it warm. He could feel her tense up for a second and he looked at her with questioning eyes.

"I'm sorry, milady" he said. "Perhaps I wasn't allowed to do that? I meant nothing by it, it's just that my hand is freezing and yours feels so warm."

"It's just not considered appropriate" Éowyn said awkwardly.

"Sorry" Merry said again and drew back his hand with blushing cheeks. "I feel so comfortable around you that sometimes I forget myself."

"We need to get you mittens" Éowyn said and smiled slightly.

"You're not mad at me, are you?"

"No Merry, I'm not mad."

"I'm not accustomed to this decorum, I keep worrying that I will make a mistake and that people will frown upon it behind my back. They're too polite to tell me to my face, but I wish they would so I would know not to do it again. I know that they permit it only because of my special situation but sooner or later my situation has to stop being special."

"Both you and Pippin have always violated decorum in various ways" Éowyn said. "Hobbit customs are not quite the same as the customs here. When Pippin first arrived he addressed everybody common, including the steward who ruled Gondor in the absence of the king, something which would have been natural in the Shire but here you would have to be a high ranking official to do so. That's why they think he is a prince of Halflings, and when you arrived and addressed people the same way they began to say that about you too."

"Yet there are some customs which Pippin knows to follow and I don't."

"Pippin has spent a lot more time in Gondor than you have. You swore your allegiance to Rohan, and although many things are the same there some customs are different."

"No it's not that the customs are different, it's that I can't remember them."

"In light of everything else, remembering decorum seems like a minor thing doesn't it?" Éowyn said. "Learn the decorum anew, ask someone to fill you in properly. Don't waste energy on trying to remember things you can learn again, focus on the things that can't be taught."

"You're right" Merry said as they stepped inside the citadel. "As always."

"I'm wrong far more often than you think" Éowyn said with a sigh.

Merry wondered what she meant by that but she didn't offer any further explanations and he had a feeling that asking her to explain it further would not be valid according to decorum.

XX
XX

A week later Éowyn had left and Merry felt lonely without her. He went back to the Houses of Healing and was permitted to start working with the herbs instead of just reading about them, but the loneliness followed him there. For each time Éowyn went away the loneliness got worse, she was a familiarity which he much needed and could not find in anything else save from herblore. But plants and brews could not fill the place of a living person, no matter how interested he was in them.

Towards the end of December winter grew colder but there was still no snow in sight. Merry stopped taking his walks and some days even remained at the citadel instead of going to the Houses of Healing. He had been warned not to go there so much right now when a lot of people came down with the flu, they were worried about his health still and wanted to keep him up and about rather than lying sick in a bed. Merry didn't want to get sick either, but spending only a day or two out of the week at the Houses left him bored and restless. With Legolas and Gimli gone, and Éowyn not set to return for at least a month, he had no one to talk to and nothing to do with his time. Aragorn and Pippin were both busy and he had not formed any relations with the other people at the citadel. He had enough with trying to reconnect with those who claimed to be closest to him, adding new people into the picture required energy he didn't have.

After a few days he began to examine the citadel more closely and find out more about his surroundings. One of the last days of December he found his way into one of Aragorn's private rooms, one he had not been inside before. The room didn't look very special at first sight, but a closer examination told Merry that the furniture was all expensive and probably made by Elves or Dwarves, or heirlooms of some sort. He was unsure of whether or not he was allowed to be there but he had never been given any restrictions as to where he could go so he went inside and sat down by a table.

He didn't know for how long he had been in the room when the door opened and Pippin entered carrying a tray filled with food. With his foot Pippin kicked the door shut, then he noticed Merry and looked unsure for a moment. Then he placed his tray on the table and sat down to eat.

"I know we're not allowed to eat in here" Pippin said. "But what Strider doesn't know won't harm him." Then he lowered his voice to a whisper, even though they were the only ones there. "I'm trying to avoid having to help Eldarion fence after my break, if he finds me in the dining hall I won't be able to get out of it."

Merry nodded and gazed at Pippin's full tray with longing eyes. It was a meal worthy of a Hobbit. A salad sprinkled with mushrooms, some rabbit stew, a large baked potato with cheese and butter melting in it, and a big helping of rice mixed with something Merry didn't recognise, but which looked delicious. Along with it Pippin had grabbed two pieces of bread with butter melting on top and a bowl of fruit salad.

Pippin noticed Merry's longing eyes and handed him his salad fork.

"Here. This is too much for one Hobbit anyway; I really ought to save some room for supper."

"Thanks!" Merry said with a happy grin and dove in on what was nearest, the interesting rice dish.

"So what are you doing in here?" Pippin asked with his mouth full of potato.

"Nothing, really" Merry said. "Being bored. Nobody lets me do anything around here out of fear I will fall ill from strain. I found this room and thought it might be fun, but it wasn't."

Pippin nodded and pinned the largest mushroom on his fork. Merry deserted the rice, realising he ought to leave some for Pippin, and gave the salad a try too. He was hungrier than he had realised. A glance at Pippin told him that he was too, and Merry was touched that he had decided to share his meal.

"Most rooms in this citadel are no fun" Pippin said when he had swallowed the mushroom. "Humans can be quite the bore sometimes."

"Yes the only room I've found so far which I found really to my liking was the kitchen, which they chased me out from. All I did was eat one lousy pie and a bowl of tomatoes; they acted like I had doomed them all to famine! The pie wasn't even that good…"

Pippin roared with laughter, making Merry laugh as well.

"We've all been there" Pippin said with a wink.

More and more Merry was beginning to believe in the friendship between him and Pippin that he had heard so much about. During the past month he had begun to feel it. There was something about the other Hobbit which made him feel like they had indeed been close before. Whenever they were together Merry got a feeling of security and belonging which made him feel good inside. Though Pippin held the key to the friendship they had once shared, and he rarely opened the door and let Merry inside. When he did it made Merry feel light at heart. He regretted now that he had pushed Pippin away before, and couldn't help but wonder if he had ruined something delicate when he did.

Spending time together with Pippin had begun to make Merry wonder about what things were like between them before. Judging by Pippin's behaviour during Merry's first days back it must have been something special. Merry grew more and more curious.

"Did we do this often?" he asked curiously and motioned towards the meal they were sharing.

Pippin didn't reply, he quickly turned his head to listen.

"Is that Aragorn?" he asked, then decided that it was without waiting for an answer. "Quick, where are we going to hide the food? He gets really mad when he catches somebody eating in here!"

But before they had time to do anything Aragorn opened the door and stepped inside, stopping when he noticed the pair eating on his rare Elven table in his private library. The two had frightened and guilty looks on their faces and Pippin slowly put his fork down while even more slowly chewing on his last bite.

"Pippin!" Aragorn said. "Have I not told you not to eat in here? What do I have to do to make you listen?"

Then he noticed that while Pippin was the only one with a tray, he was not the only one eating. Merry was sharing the meal with him. All the lectures Aragorn had had on the tip of his tongue were forgotten; the sight of the two together like this almost frightened him. For a moment he thought he had stepped into the past.

"Don't do it again" was all he said.

"Do you want us to leave?" Merry asked.

"Since you're already halfway through your meal you may stay. But spill one little bit on the table and you'd better be out that door mighty quick."

"Thanks Strider" Pippin mumbled and finished his potato with a guilty look on his face. "It won't happen again."

"That's what you said the last time."

"Last time I was having second breakfast here, that's never going to happen again. This is dinner, it's different."

Aragorn didn't know how to respond to that and sat down with a sigh. Pippin had a way of interpreting things which made them seem perfectly logical though quite far from how they were originally intended.

"Besides, I had to get something to eat before dinner, I'll go crazy if I have to stand there and watch you eat for a full hour before I can tend to my own hunger" Pippin carried on. "Not to mention the sound of my growling stomach would bother you."

"I'll never know how you manage to convince them to let you have a meal before the king has eaten" Aragorn remarked.

"I have puppy eyes and I know how to use them."

"I shouldn't eat anymore of your dinner" Merry said and put his fork down. "You need it better than I do and I'll be having dinner soon anyway."

"Suit yourself" Pippin said with a shrug to the shoulder and took a big bite out of one of the loafs of bread.

For a moment Merry felt like the winter afternoon was not as cold as it had been before. The presence of two friendly people warmed his soul and having gotten what felt like a glimpse of his past bond with Pippin warmed him even more. He was struck with how something as basic as friends could make you warmer when the winds were blowing cold outside the window.

Aragorn leaned back in his seat and lit his pipe. He too felt warmer inside by the company he was with. He had never dreamed he would be spending another winter's evening together with Pippin and Merry, only half a year ago he would have told anybody who suggested so they were crazy. If there was one thing to consider a blessing this year it was by far the return of Merry. Even with the troubles that had come with it it was a gift to them all. Right now Aragorn felt sure that Pippin felt so too, despite his problems with adjustment. There was no resentment in Pippin as to Merry being alive, only a complicated situation which he kept quiet about and tried to deal with on his own. Aragorn was not surprised. Pippin had dealt with the loss of Merry mainly on his own, unwilling to let others in, and now he had probably forgotten how to share his troubles with others.

XX
XX

On the second last day of the year snow began to fall, not a lot of it but enough to make the ground look white. Even though the temperature had actually gone up a few degrees everyone felt like it had gotten colder and the large stone halls of the citadel were hard to keep warm. The Hobbits were offered to wear shoes to protect them from the ice cold floors but both refused, saying they were more comfortable freezing in their own skin than sweating in a pair of shoes, and could they perhaps be given extra servings at dinner and supper to help them keep warm instead?

Merry begun to lit the open fire in the small heater in their chambers, enjoying the warmth it brought and comforted by the crackling sound of the fire. He stole a few sausages from the kitchen and spiked them on wooden sticks, grilling them over the open fire. He offered some to Pippin, but the other Hobbit wasn't interested. He didn't spend much time in their chambers, as Prince Eldarion had a few weeks with no schooling and it was Pippin's job to keep him occupied.

Flu season seemed to have ended for now, or at least decreased, and Merry began going back to the Houses of Healing to fill his days. He spent many hours looking through the huge stack of reports on the writing desk, reports detailing how different herbs should be used and what their effects might be. He wanted to try some of the effects on himself in smaller dosages but when Aragorn heard of it he threatened to ban Merry from the Houses. So he spent most of his time reading, correcting and updating reports, amazed by the detailed system the medics had created. For once he felt like he was doing something useful and contributing to the household, it felt good to give something in return for the nursing and feeding he had been given over the past five months.

The days began to form a pattern. Every morning he was woken up by Pippin who then disappeared to his duties and left Merry alone to wash up, get dressed and find some breakfast. Merry then went to the Houses where he sat with the reports until after second breakfast. He would then take a brisk walk, if it wasn't too cold, before he returned to the paper work. Most days he stayed at the Houses until dinner time, where he was still expected to merely attend and not to serve, as Pippin did. After dinner he had a few hours to himself, where he would tend to whatever might have arisen during the day, mending a shirt or making himself some willow bark tea when he had a headache. Once supper was eaten he would go back to his chambers and sit by the open fire for a couple of hours until Pippin came and got into bed. In many ways it was very lonely. Pippin was right there next to him each evening yet Merry felt like he was all alone.

XXX

XXX

XXX

Happy May Day everyone!