Buckland, June of 1437

Merry could feel his heart pounding in his chest when he and Pippin halted their ponies by a gate which marked the entrance to the Shire. Pippin had explained to him that the gate was there to keep the long folks out, there were not permitted to set foot in the Shire. Gimli and Legolas had left them the night before, turning back once they reached Bree, and now it was only Merry and Pippin. Merry was more nervous than he would like to admit, now he was back in what had been his home and he ought to recognise it right away. Gimli had told him though to forget about remembering, if he tried too hard he would not remember a thing so it was better to just put it out of his mind and let whatever he could remember come to him on its own.

Pippin had instructed him to pull the hood of his cape up over his head to shield his face a bit; hopefully the Hobbits at the gates would not recognise him at first. Pippin preferred that nobody saw who he was with until they reached Brandy Hall.

"Open the gates!" he said to the two Hobbits guarding the gates.

"Why Thain Peregrin!" one of them cried and came running out to greet him. "Folks had begun to say you were gone for good! Welcome back!"

"Folks were wrong, as is most often the case" Pippin said. "Now open the gates and let us in. Ride to the shiriffs' office and have them gathered at Brandy Hall. Right now."

"Yes sir!"

The Hobbit hurried to open the gates and then ran to fetch his pony. He left it up to his companion to close the gates once Pippin and Merry had gone through them and before long he had disappeared into the horizon, riding as fast as he could to gather the shiriffs.

Pippin was in no hurry, he wanted the shiriffs to be gathered before they reached Brandy Hall, and he had a feeling Merry didn't mind prolonging things a bit. They rode slowly across the fields of Buckland, Merry still with his hood on. The older of the two looked around at the scenery and wondered if this had all been there before or if it was new. He had no way of knowing.

"Who are the shiriffs and why do you want them to gather?" he asked Pippin.

"The shiriffs are supposed to keep the order" Pippin said. "I figured we could use them… People are likely to react strongly to your return and the shiriffs can help keep you away from the crowds for a while. I figured you'd rather have a nice calm evening in your own chambers tonight than to be surrounded by a whole herd of Brandybucks."

"I suppose so."

They rode on and before long Merry could see a large Hobbit hole which he instinctively knew must be Brandy Hall. More than a dozen Hobbits were outside the Hall, occupying themselves with a number of different activities. Something felt comforting about seeing more people looking like himself and Pippin, and the Hobbit hole looked much more welcoming than the stone halls of Minas Tirith had.

"Take your hood off" Pippin instructed him. "No more time for hiding."

Merry did as he was told. They stopped outside Brandy Hall and a number of Hobbits greeted Pippin with cheers and welcoming phrases. It was obvious that they knew him well. Then eyes began to fall on Merry and the crowd went silent.

"Don't just stand there" Pippin said to one of the Hobbits. "Fetch Master Berilac."

The Hobbit turned and ran into the large hall, looking like he had seen a ghost. In fact all of the Hobbits looked like they had seen a ghost, and in a way they had.

"Master Merry?" one finally said.

"No it can't be, he's dead" someone else responded.

"But…"

"We're just seeing things. Thain Peregrin has returned and we somehow expect him to have Master Merry beside him."

"But we wouldn't all just be seeing things, now would we?"

"It is Master Merry" Pippin said as the shiriffs came riding up. With a snap of his fingers and a wave of his arm he motioned for them to gather near himself and Merry. "Who did you think it would have been?"

"But Master Merry is dead" someone protested.

"Well then he's doing an awfully good job at staying up on that horse" Pippin replied acidly.

Through the doors to Brandy Hall Berilac Brandybuck, Master of Buckland, strode out, arguing with the Hobbit who had fetched him.

"… most utter nonsense I have ever heard, it is not possible that…"

He trailed off when he saw Merry. For a minute he couldn't move a muscle, all he could do was stare at his cousin in shock. It was impossible, but it was indeed Merry.

"Don't just stand there and gape like a fish, Master Berilac" Pippin said. "Your cousin has returned home. I leave him in your care now."

"You're leaving?" Merry asked with fear.

"I haven't seen my wife or my son in a year. I'm going home. Master Berilac, ride with me would you? I must have a word with you. You can take Merry's pony." He then turned to one of the shiriffs. "Everard, Master Merry is tired and needs food and rest. Make sure he gets it. No disturbances."

Merry reluctantly dismounted his pony and found himself in a crowd of shiriffs who were chattering with him about things he did not understand and he could feel a headache coming on. Berilac gave him a doubting look and mounted his pony. Together with Pippin he trotted off in the direction of the Great Smials.

When they were far enough from the Hall Berilac turned and looked over his shoulder to make sure they weren't followed by any curious Hobbits who wanted to listen in. Then he turned to Pippin with confusion.

"Thain Peregrin… Pippin… This cannot be."

"Before you begin to doubt your own sanity; yes it is really what it looks like. Meriadoc is alive, he was found wounded but alive near the same river where he disappeared all those years ago. That was in August. We have lingered in Minas Tirith since then but now we needed to come back home."

"It's not possible."

"I know. But I can assure you, he is very much alive. And it is Merry, there's no doubt of it. I would recognise him anywhere even after all these years. But Berilac there is one thing you must know."

"What is that?" Berilac asked, sounding more sad than happy.

"Merry has lost his memory. He doesn't know who he is, where he's been or anything else. He doesn't know you, he doesn't know Brandy Hall, he doesn't know any of the Hobbits living there. You must keep that in mind and realise that it is horribly stressful for him to be subjected to so many people who expect him to remember them. His memory will return, at least that is our hope, but until it does he cannot be out under too much pressure and you cannot talk about old times with him for he must remember on his own."

"No memories?" Berilac said, shocked. "So he only remembers you?"

"Only from the past months" Pippin said through gritted teeth. "He knows me no more than he knows you."

"Goodness…"

Pippin saw the disturbed look on Berilac's face and knew what he must be thinking. For him everything had changed now. His whole future was uncertain. When Merry had died Berilac had become the heir of Master Saradoc, and after Saradoc's death he had been Master of Buckland. His son would be Master in the future and his descendants would rule over Brandy Hall. That had been his belief up until today. But Merry had turned up alive and that meant that Brandy Hall and all that went with it was rightfully his.

"Berilac I know what you're thinking" Pippin said. "It's not evil of you to have those thoughts. This changes everything."

"My son…" Berilac said. "His whole inheritance…"

"For the time being at least" Pippin said. "We don't know that Merry will have an heir of his own. If he doesn't your son will be his heir."

"I have built up my life around being Master of the Hall" Berilac said. "Ever since Uncle Saradoc died that has been my focus in life. I have so many plans, so many ideas, there is so much that I care about and that I want to see through… Now I have to give it all up for someone who can't even remember his own kindred spirit."

Pippin cringed at being referred to as Merry's kindred spirit.

"Things are not always as they seem, Berilac" he said.

"I can't help it, but I feel like I begrudge him all of that…" Berilac said. "I'm sorry Pippin; I know he's your best friend, but what about me and my family? Everything we've built up will be taken from us. He's been gone for so long, it doesn't seem right that he should be able to claim Buckland!"

"He is the son of Saradoc Brandybuck, who was Master of Buckland up until his death" Pippin said. "Nothing can change that. Buckland is his. Listen Berilac I don't have time to discuss this matter right now, I have to get back home or I will lose my mind. Just keep him out of the way for all those curious Hobbits and give him a chance to settle in, and let's all pray that his memory will come back as soon as possible. Berilac if nothing else you can at least pride yourself with how good care you've taken of Brandy Hall and Buckland while he was gone."

"Yes it's lovely, isn't it?" Berilac muttered. "Oh listen to me! My cousin has returned from the dead and all I can think of is losing my job."

"Go back home to the Hall and see him" Pippin said. "Perhaps he will remember you. We can hope…"

XX
XX

When Berilac Brandybuck returned to Brandy Hall it seemed like every one of its 127 inhabitants were waiting for him to ask him questions of what had just happened. They had gotten used to turning to Berilac for answers and seemed to believe that he would know everything about the new situation that had arisen. Berilac had neither the ability nor the energy to answer their queries, with a tired sigh he dismounted the pony and handed the reins to whoever was standing closest to him. With a forceful shove he moved the Hobbit blocking his way to the side and strode to the doors of Brandy Hall, ignoring all questions asked to him along the way.

He made his way to the halls which were private and only used by the Master and his closest family. He stopped by the door and turned to face the Hobbits he had lead for five years.

"Master Meriadoc is tired" he said to them. "He needs his rest and his privacy. It has been twelve years… Let him have his space."

The brief comment only awoke more questions but Berilac fled inside his private halls leaving them all behind, instructing the shiriff by the door not to let anybody pass unless they lived there. He left some further instructions to another member of the shiriffs and sent the rest back to their headquarters in Tuckburough. Gathering all his strength and nerves he went to the room which had belonged to Merry while his father was Master of Brandy Hall. He knocked on the door and paused to wait for an answer. When none came he went inside and found Merry standing by the window, close enough to look out but far enough not to be able to be seen from the outside. Merry turned and looked at his cousin with no recognition in his eyes.

"Cousin Meriadoc" Berilac said. "Have they fed you? You must be tired. Do you want to have a bath drawn for you?"

"No thank you" Merry said. "They brought me some food. I'm quite satisfied now, thank you."

Berilac walked closer to him and managed a smile. In spite of everything that was taken from him so suddenly he had been given his cousin back. It had been more than a decade and his cousin didn't remember him, but Berilac remembered Merry and even though they had not been close friends they had bonds that would always tie them together. They had grown up together.

"I bid you welcome home, Meriadoc Master of Buckland" he said and bowed. "These are your private halls. This room was yours before but now the Master bedroom will be yours. It will be ready for you this evening."

"What was your name?" Merry asked.

"Berilac. Son of Merrimac, who was the brother of Saradoc, your father."

"My cousin then" Merry noted. Then he tilted his head and looked at Berilac. "They called you Master out there" he said. "Are you the Master of Buckland now?"

"I am only the next of kin to the Master" Berilac said, hiding the sadness he felt in saying those words.

"But you were Master before? When my father had died?"

"Yes."

"You must have done a good job" Merry said. "The halls look like they are in great shape. And I saw the fields and the cottages riding here, the countryside is blossoming. Cousin Berilac I am sorry, I--"

"Thain Peregrin already told me" Berilac said with haste. "You have lost your memory in an accident. Not to worry cousin, it will come back to you. For now all you need to worry about is getting reacquainted with the halls and then later on with the lands. We will take it in little steps."

"Thank you, that is very understanding of you" Merry said and felt relieved that his cousin took it so well.

Berilac walked to the door but stopped before he opened it.

"I already ordered a bath to be drawn for you" he said. "I guess I took for granted that you would be wanting one. The offer stands."

"Perhaps I do need a bath" Merry said and looked down on his dirty arms and feet. "Yes at second thought a bath would be splendid."

"Right this way" Berilac said and showed him out the door.

XX
XX

The greetings of two dozen Hobbits as he reached the Great Smials were balm to Pippin's ears. So many people who were happy to see him and who had awaited his return. He grinned at them and greeted as many as he could by name as he dismounted his pony and handed the reins to one of them.

"Take good care of the saddle, it is brand new" he said and continued to greet his fellow Tooks as he made his way inside the Great Smials.

Once he came inside the dark halls he drew in the smell of his home and sighed with contentment. This was where he belonged and he would be happy if he never had to leave it again. He headed for his own halls and had not gotten far before Diamond came running up to meet him. He stopped and opened his arms wide for her, spinning her around when she came into his arms.

"Diamond" he cried. "Diamond what a sight for sore eyes!"

Without a care to the Hobbits around them he gave her a long and tender kiss and hugged her closely. He had missed her, but he hadn't known how much until he was holding her again. He could feel her love for him, the love that had pulled him through in the past and was sure to do it again. He never wanted to let her go ever again.

With his arm around her waist he returned to the rooms which were his private, and there he found his son. Faramir, who was nearly seven years old, was taking a nap under a blanket and he looked so peaceful and relaxed that Pippin almost didn't want to wake him up. But he couldn't resist getting to hold him; gently he pulled aside the covers and lifted the boy into his arms. Faramir woke up and was for a moment confused, then he realised who had woken him and he hugged his father tight. Pippin drew strength from the unconditional love of his child and wondered how he had survived for all these months without Diamond and Faramir by his side.

XX
XX

Merry sat down on the bed in what was to be his sleeping quarters from now on and buttoned the sleeves of his new shirt. He felt fresh and revived from his bath and comfortable around the cousin who asked nothing of him. Berilac only seemed to be out to help him and after months of feeling that everybody expected things from him it was a relief that someone only tried to help.

"Dinner will be served in an hour" Berilac said. "I shall have them send your meal to you here. A dinner with the family is hardly what you need tonight."

"I don't know how to thank you, Berilac" Merry said and began to button the front of his shirt. "You have been very kind to me."

He heard he door behind him open and wondered if Berilac was leaving, but then he heard a member of the shiriffs announce that he had a visitor. The obvious smile in the Hobbit's voice made him turn his head with an interested smile on his face and he saw a Hobbit lass enter the room. She had a beaming smile on her face. Berilac did not however. He looked shocked more than anything and he turned to the shiriff with an angry glare and a firm tone in his voice.

"What is she doing here? I said no visitors!"

"I thought he might want so see this one" the shiriff said with pride.

"Get out you fool" Berilac said.

To think the shiriffs couldn't even follow simple orders. He knew he should have told them about Merry's condition but he hadn't want word to spread quite yet. This meeting was going to be disastrous.

Merry rose slowly from the bed and finished buttoning his shirt.

"Estella" he guessed. "Have you come for my cousin? Or is it me you're looking for?"

Berilac stared at him in wonderment. He didn't know that Merry had been told about his engagement to Estella, he thought Merry had remembered her on his own.

"I'll leave you two alone" he mumbled and quickly left the room.

Estella looked at Merry with shock but with a smile on her face. For a good five minutes she only looked at him, taking in the sight of the Hobbit she had been set to marry twelve years ago but who had been lost to her. Merry looked at her too but with less positive feelings. He wondered if she knew about his memory, and what she would say. He didn't know her and had no idea of predicting what her reaction would be.

Slowly she walked up to him and stood almost too close for Merry's liking. She looked him in the eye and he could see her love for him. She didn't know. He couldn't let her believe that things were as they had been when they were last parted, he had to be frank with her and it had to happen now.

"Merry…" she whispered and reached out her hand to caress his cheek, assuring herself that he was really there. "Oh darling… Where did you come from?"

The question, spoken with such gentle love and tenderness, almost made him laugh. He had been asked a lot of questions when people had first met him again but this had not been one of them.

"Estella" he began, but lost track when her hand gently ran up and down his arm, caressing it.

"I came here as soon as I heard" she said, speaking so softly that her voice was nearly a whisper. "I had to see it with my own eyes… It's really you. I brought you something."

Perplexed Merry took the pouch she handed him. She placed it in his hand and gently clasped it around the leather pouch which she had been holding in her left hand. She smiled and let her hand rest on his arm, as if to make sure that he was really there and was not going anywhere.

"It's champignons" she said. "Your favourite."

"Thank you" he said.

"I wonder where you've been all these years" she continued in her soft voice. "Though that does not matter. All that matters is you came back to me. We are together again. This time it's forever."

"Estella…" he said and broke the gaze. "I'm afraid things are not quite the way you think. I'm sorry; I hope I can explain…"

"Whatever it is I'm sure it doesn't matter" Estella said gently. "Whatever's happened during all these years it can be forgiven and forgotten about…"

"It's funny you should say that… forgotten about…" He pushed away the hand that caressed his arm. "You see the only reason I know your name is Estella is because Pippin told me so. I don't know your face. Who you are and what you were to me is all in the past and I can't recall it."

"We can make it live again darling" she said softly, thinking he was merely talking about feelings.

"You don't understand" Merry said.

As gently as he could he then explained to her what his situation was. She looked at him long and hard and was silent for a long while, taking it all in. But looking at him she knew that nothing had changed as far as she was concerned. She had loved him twelve years ago and had never been able to marry anyone else. Now he had come back and there must have been a reason why she was still unmarried. She had been waiting for him, even though she hadn't known it. And he would know it too, all that she knew and felt. She didn't believe that feelings could go away even if memories did.

Gently she took his hand, the one that held the champignons, and rested it in her own. She looked down at their joined hands and then up at him with a smile.

"You keep these champignons, they are for you" she said. "The rest will sort itself out as time goes by."